Try out >>/r9k/.

>>12497838 (OP)
same situation as you, but i cant afford college anymore.
and my cat's dead. and i have no money for rent, due on the 1st.

>>12497838 (OP)
I never been with anyone ever and I have come up with a conclusion. Certain people werent meant to live. Join the army and die.

I've been depressed for forever, too. Since I was a kid. I've gone through the motions while internally not giving a shit about anything. It doesn't ever change, but I wouldn't trade my life for anything different now. Because the only joy in my life comes from the intense apathy with which I treat everything. I've made it my one priority in life to be able to say "Fuck you" to anyone, at any time, and for any reason, and just walk away. It's brutal to not care about anything, so my one luxury is being impervious to coercion. I don't have to do anything I don't want to. I drive a 20 year old car and live in a teardrop trailer because I'd fucking kill myself if I ever had to get a job I hate and get up every day just to pay off loans or a mortgage to make some other asshole rich. I went to college after saving up money because I felt like learning something new. Now I make 60k a year, and while that's not a lot, everything after taxes and what little expenses I have goes straight into my bank account because it's fucking useless to me. I don't own anything nice or new because I don't want it. My job is pretty interesting, but if it ever got stressful or annoying, I'd quit in a heartbeat. My advice is to stay out of debt at all costs. As soon as you owe money, you're a slave to how society works, and if that system doesn't mesh with you, then prepare to be miserable. I spent so many of my early years miserable in my own head, wondering why I couldn't be like everyone else, and what was wrong with me, and why couldn't I just fit in and find my place. Well fuck that. As far as I'm concerned, I'm right and everyone else is wrong, and now there's not a single fucking thing anyone can do to stop me from thinking that way. The freedom to be able to tell the entire world to suck my cock is one of the greatest pleasures I've ever experienced.

>>12497991
You're like me in three months. (My money is loans anyway.) Fuck.

>>12498008
Deterministic bullshit. Also I'd kill myself first. Also I can think of far more fun ways to kill myself.

This is something I should stop thinking about.

>>12498030
Alpha right here.

>>12498030
Lol, too late.

Also I'm too empathetic to condition myself into sociopathy. Aside from that, though, sounds like you have a nice thing going.

Do your best to see a therapist; it's possible that you can find some way to pay for it without paying too much out-of-pocket.

I've been moderately to severely depressed for five years and I get my insurance through my state's welfare program; thankfully my family is able to financially support me. (I'm 19.).

If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to email me at armchairpsychologistfag@gmail.com; I'm no therapist and I can't promise to give good advice, but I can at least promise to listen and (probably) understand some of what you're going through. Depression is a bitch of an illness and can affect every area of your life, though I'm sure you're aware of this.

My page covering mental health professionals: http://armchairpsychologistfag.tumblr.com/post/49957063230/whatispsych

A pretty good therapist/psychiatrist finder (US only): http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php

My page on depression, though chances are you're familiar enough with depression to know everything I said: http://armchairpsychologistfag.tumblr.com/post/50532623097/depression

>>12498073
Might mail you later.

>>12498073
Was seeing one through my college for a while, spent a good month's rent on him over the semester. He was great. Had to stop because they follow an "intervention model". He's the most recent on a rather long list. The only psychiatrist I ever saw said "You have anxiety", prescribed me an entry-level anxiety med that did nothing, and that's it. The rest have been counselors/psychotherapists.

Welfare system here won't cover me, and wouldn't provide for psyche stuff even if it did.

My family... isn't, essentially.

Hah. Yeah, I can truthfully say I am and have been holistically fucked via depression.

Those are some admirable efforts ArmchairPsychologistfag. Skimming all the bolded stuff, you're right that I probably know all this stuff, but it's nice to skim the symptom lists every now an again. I can barely afford the lowest-priced doc in my area, let alone meds. This has been a pretty consistent issue, and the reason I've had pretty inconsistent therapy.

I've been worse off in the past. I guess I'm more accurately facing something like "atypical dysthimia", perusing some of Mayo clinic's distinctions/definitions. I haven't had suicidal thoughts (except while typing >>12498043) in years.

It's kind of funny; despite how fucked I feel, I can't help but think about how so many others have it so much worse off than me.

I guess today's the day I couldn't push myself to go to class.