The second guy was someone I met online. He seemed really nice at first, and I slept with him after a few weeks. He said lots of nice things to me and acted like he cared about me, but it turned out that he was just using me for sex. He said he wanted a relationship, but he was actually looking for a sex friend. I felt pretty stupid for believing the things he said.

The third guy was also someone I met online. He expected sex and blowjobs right away, because according to him that is "part of getting to know someone." Basically, I only saw him when he wanted a blowjob. When we had sex, it was only about him getting off. He never went down on me, or tried to make me feel good in any way. He asked me on a few dates, but he would always cancel plans at the last minute. I complained that I didn't want to mess around with someone so casually, and he said that it was just the normal way to act before you decide if you want to date someone. Then he made several mean comments about my appearance, including calling me fat (I weigh 90 lbs). I don't think I should have to sleep with a dozen guys and hope that one of them likes me enough to want to date me. That seems crazy.

Is there any way I can find someone who is not mean and heartless? Do all guys in their early twenties expect sex without any kind of commitment? I am afraid that if I continue with this pattern I'm going to end up acting bitter towards all men, destroying my self esteem, and feeling even more closed off than I am right now.

I don't want to be alone, but I also don't want to be with a bad guy. What should I do?

>>9749521
>It was violent and horrible, and afterwards he choked me until I passed out.
I don't even know you and I want to find that fucker and destroy him! I hate fake-rape bullshit but real rape makes me so god damned angry.

WHERE IS MY WHITE STEED. SQUIRE, MY HORSE!

>>9749523
>Is there any way I can find someone who is not mean and heartless? Do all guys in their early twenties expect sex without any kind of commitment?

this place is full of men complaining they can't find love. i mean it's everywhere. not even just here, on the internet in general. what kind of question is that?

I feel for you sis.

Guys in their early 20's tend to be completely commitment phobic yet they still want all the benefits of having a girlfriend (i.e., sex). This isn't to say that every guy in his early 20's is like that but it's a common theme.

You need to assess the mental maturity of a guy before you sleep with him. Sleeping with someone IS NOT how you get to know them or how you lay the ground work for a relationship. It's fun, it shouldn't be something to avoid but when people are pressuring you for this and making seemingly ridiculous statements because of it then you need to take a step back.

Honestly I think you've just had bad luck with guys. I for one am a guy in my 20's, I've done the same sort of shit as each of those guys, but that's just a learning process. What I wouldn't give now to have a girl just to spend time with me...

>>9749521
>Unfortunately, I ended up ruining it by being too hesitant to have sex with him. He felt rejected and broke up with me.
Don't feel like this is your fault. The two of you just wanted different things.
>He said he wanted a relationship, but he was actually looking for a sex friend.
Men (and women, but in different ways) can be shitty like that. The only way to protect yourself is to be more discerning about people. Don't be a paranoid mess, but also don't let yourself be fooled by bullshit.

>>9749562
as for what you should do, you do what everybody else does. you keep dating and meeting people until you find someone.

i'm sorry that something bad happened to you, but everybody deals with shit in their life. you aren't special.

>Do all guys in their early twenties expect sex without any kind of commitment?
Nnnn...maybe. If you appear easy, they'll circle like sharks. I kinda doubt that's what's going on; you're just hitting a streak of very bad luck.
>Is there any way I can find someone who is not mean and heartless?
You're going to school, yeah? Meet people with the same interests. Don't go looking for relationships, which I figure is what was up with the online guys. Don't date anyone online without knowing them for a long, long time. Talk, and be personable with the people in your classes, and try to get a feel for the men. Watch their body language closely. It's unfortunately trial and error, but you know what didn't work, so adjust from there.

Look, you can do this. Don't let yourself become that bitter old person. That isn't a life you want to live, is it? Finding the right person, or a right person, takes time. Be patient. It will happen.

>>9749521
>Obviously I was pretty messed up after that incident, and I dropped out of school and moved home.
You need therapy, OP. If it was that tramatic, you need to go, soon, and confront it.

>Do all guys in their early twenties expect sex without any kind of commitment?
It is a function of sex drive, and will take until their mid-30s to start burning out. Ignore them, decline their pleas. You should be empowered to choose when - and who - you are going to do this with.

>I don't want to be alone, but I also don't want to be with a bad guy. What should I do?

Define bad. Be sure you really, really understand what it is you DON'T want. Then go looking for THE OPPOSITE.

Sex after some months is somewhat reasonable for people that want extra-marital sex.

But people in serious relationships don't usually end up having sex that quickly...

You're just having bad luck and getting with the wrong kind of guys, OP.

>>9749523

Move to SC. Jk

Most of the time you have to find a balance with guys. There are usually signs of what guys want like with me I usually ask a girl to trade pics with me. Which generally leads to other more adult pics and then when we finally meet up we're not awkward. But most guys in their early 20s only want sex. Try finding a guy outside of work/Internet. Like a coffee shop or at the park.

>>9749523

I'm 20, and I primarily care about relationships, not sex. The reason young people are afraid of commitment (not just men, ladies, women too) is because they don't want it to get in the way of their careers, etc., and when you're young you haven't exactly settled down enough for commitment to be on the drawing table. Anyways, there are nice guys out there. I'm not aware of any tricks on how to meet them - you need to learn how to discern the good guys from the bad guys, and drop the bad ones. If someone asks for sex immediately, don't go out with that person. If that person seems cruel, don't go out with that person.

Sorry for what you went through, by the way :(

>>9749575
I'm not in school right now. I'm working, and all my friends at work are at least a decade older, except the guy I dated. There aren't really any places around here for me to meet new people in real life, so that's why I looked online.

>>9749593
Bullshit. No clubs? Bars? Museums? Parks? Places-where-the-young-gather-to-take-back-the-night?

There are places, you just have excuses for not going. They may be valid, but "there's nowhere to go to meet people" is bullshit of the highest order.

What're your interests, OP?

It isn't your fault. It is bad luck.
Unfortunately a lot of men can act like this though.
I'm sure there might be a guy in your friendzone you haven't given a chance maybe?

>>9749606
>No clubs? Bars? Museums? Parks?

I don't drink and I don't like loud music, so bars and clubs are out. Museums? An hour away. Parks? No young people, just old people jogging. Suburban Georgia sucks.

>>9749613
I mentioned that I lost all my friends when I was depressed and stopped speaking to everyone. Right now all my friends are people from work who are much older and married.

>>9749623
you don't have to drink to go to a bar.

>When I was in college, someone raped me.

OP, I'm sorry, but how the fuck does this happen?

I don't understand if there are assholes out there that have RAPIST stamped on their heads or if there's something about meek women that attract them out of nowhere, but in either case I feel like storming in there like a fucking animal and ripping their dicks off.

>>9749641

Someone realised their potential to take what they wanted. Sorry chief but the world doesn't work like in a fairy tale.

>>9749660
You don't live in a concealed carry state, do you?

>>9749672

No and I'm glad that I don't to be honest.

What will prevent will also enable in that regard. You can say that a woman might have a concealed gun on her to defend herself with, well on the flip side, the guy might have a concealed gun to put to her head while he rapes her.

>>9749660

But I don't understand how that potential happens. I mean I've heard of this sort of thing at parties, but usually alcohol and sluts are involved so that's understandable.

But how did this happen to OP? I mean was he breaking an entering or what? I just can't imagine that this isn't something that can be prevented.

>>9749681
That's not how it works. If you have a carry, then you're already on file with the Sheriff (at least where I live). They also don't just hand these out without screening you. And if someone commits a crime with a concealed gun do you really think they are going to get a permit?. You may want to ponder this a bit more.

You can find a nice guy, you just can't set your expectations too high. I'm not saying settle but, sometimes there is not initial attraction with someone and we don't give them a chance.

Above all, protect yourself. Don't let a guy pressure you into sex if you don't feel comfortable. If he's giving you a bunch of reasons why you should have sex when you still want to get to know him, DROP HIM. Seriously.

>>9749681
The guy that raped you didn't have a gun and still got away with it, didn't he?

>>9749722

How many rapes go unreported? Saying that they're on file with the Sheriff does nothing to actually stop the crime for happening, merely increases the chances that they'll get caught should they be reported and identified.

If someone has the will to do harm to another, it only increases their capability.

I think you need to ponder this a little more.

>>9749737

I wasn't the one to bring up guns. I was merely responding to "concealed carry" cowboy.

>>9749741

his point isn't that they're on card at the Sherrifs office, his point is who is going to go out and get a permit to carry to go rape women? if you're going to go rape women and hold a gun to their head I'm pretty damn sure you're not going to go and get yourself certified to carry a weapon

>>9749749

You're implying that all rapes are premeditated. They aren't. Some are entirely impulsive.

Here are the basics OP. Don't date someone you're not attracted to, but broaden your horizons. I can guarantee there are many guys around you who are just as lonely, and understanding but constantly ignored by women.

Also, don't give in to sex within a few weeks. Explain your situation when they start pushing it and say you really want to wait a while. If they understand than just wait until you're truly trusting and comfortable with them. If they aren't okay with it than dump them and move in.

>women getting drunk and regretting sex and claiming rape

you're cute OP, hope you choke on your fat rolls

>>9749754

and because you have a permit to carry a weapon you're going to feel the impulse to rape more often? Or at all? Please, people do retarded things all the fucking time. Doesn't matter if they have a permit to carry a weapon or not

>>9749703
I can give some more details since you are so curious.
It was one of my classmates, and it happened in one of those little study rooms at the campus library. It was a Saturday night and there weren't many people around, at least not on that floor of the building.

In retrospect I could have at least tried yelling, but you really can't think very clearly in a situation like that. When someone a foot taller and a hundred pounds heavier than you is saying crazy things about wanting to kill you, your brain decides that fighting back is not the right course of action.

Where I really messed up was not reporting it afterwards. I didn't even go to the hospital.

>>9749777

Where did I ever say that if someone has a concealed gun that they're more prone to raping someone? Don't put words in my mouth.

Yes, people do retarded things all the time, regardless of whether they have a gun or not. My point is, you fucking muppet, if they have a gun and they want to something retarded, it increases their potential for destruction entirely more so than if they didn't.

Ain't a hard concept.

Poster of >>9749722 here, this >>9749749 is exactly what I meant.

What I also meant is, this is why some women end up with concealed carry. Sorry I didn't make it very clear.

The rapist was a giant turd, no denying that. And saying "but it still happened" doesn't fix the present either. She's still got to work through it, and I can't begin to imagine the pain.

Meanwhile, there's a bag of dicks out there that needs to be curbstomped. Sooner or later, what goes around, comes around.

>>9749606

I just wanted to add on this that it is very true. You can met people in something as simple as a grocery store. If a cute guy picks out something you also like to eat then you already have something in common. You WILL get rejected from time to time. It is all part of the process but it'll worth it when you find someone that truly wants you.

Also, take self-defense classes.