>Wah wah wah! I cannot get a gf!

If you are a Catholic priest, your ability to never get a gf has gone from a detriment to an asset. You never have to worry about breaking your promises to the Church.

And if you become a cloistered monk you will literally never see women again ever. So yeah. No need to worry about a gf.

Bump for vocations.

What are the odds I can become a saint?

>>8400453

And all the little boys you can fuck.

And you've come to the perfect board for recruitment. No one here will now what they're missing when they take the vow of celibacy.

Seriously though, priests should be able to marry.

>>8400531

It depends. There are 2 basic kinds of Saints:

1) Those saints who live long, scholarly or charitable lives, and have huge followings.

2) Those Saints who live shitty short lives and die tragically.

You can get the second one pretty easily if you go to the right places in the world, write a lot about the love of Jesus and then die of an illness (esp if you time it so you die at 33) or are martyred. The first one is harder but I am guessing it will be easier than it was for those Catholics in the 13th century when EVERYONE was a Catholic.

Pic related, a Saint.

What is your view on this man's view?

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2008/09/15/priests-are-either-betas-or-closeted-gays/

>be a fat, linux-using, jobless neckbeard from catholic family
>videogames all day erry day
>mother comes up to me and asks if I don't want to do some community work at the local church
>mow the grass around the church
>take care of their fucking old PCs
>over a year, slowly start helping at church
>local priest asks me if I want to become a priest
>yeah why not seems to suit me
>start taking seminars
>four fucking years of studying, learning and assisting at the mass
>finally become a catholic priest
>fat paycheck for talking three times a week
>actually talk about slightly altered pick-up-artist stuff all the time and just switch some words (instead of "alpha" I use "good christ", instead of "picking up girls" I use "loving jesus")
>sometimes I just burst into laughter because I can't believe everybody follows my lead about this
>still play vidya and surf 4chan
>never shaved my neckbeard
>living the dream

I have to admit, it's fucking awesome.
Still awaiting the day when everyboy finds out I have bullshitting them for years.

>>8400546

My thoughts exactly--considering the biggest reason for not going into the priesthood is the want of a family, what the hell are these forever aloners going to miss?

Eastern Catholic priests can already be married (but they can't get married while a priest, they have to become a priest while married). Latin Catholic priests just get married to the church.

>>8400540

Catholic priests are no more likely to molest children than any other profession.

>>8400466
The problem's not that the average s/adv/irgin can't get a girlfriend, it's that they want a girl but can't get one. If they didn't want a girlfriend, it wouldn't be a problem. Becoming a priest doesn't resolve that desire.

What exactly to priests get paid or is it something like the church will take care of all your needs?

>>8400575

I don't have much a view. There might be some truth but I don't really buy the alpha/beta thing. A lot of men do choose women over celibacy that is for sure.

>>8400583

Pretty sure this is a troll but if you become an Eastern Catholic priest I think you are usually required to grow a beard, Latin Catholics usually shave (but not monks)

Pic related, Eastern Catholic priest.

Can you fap?

Can you buy a Fleshlight (male masturbator device) ?

Can you be atheist in secret?

>>8400453
im interested in becoming a priest. One problem of course is that im not even a Catholic. Whats the process for joining the church? I went to sunday mass plenty of times but those were blurry days and i was shit faced half the time.

So from baptism to going to a seminary or whatever? Time wise?

>>8400610

>The problem's not that the average s/adv/irgin can't get a girlfriend, it's that they want a girl but can't get one. If they didn't want a girlfriend, it wouldn't be a problem. Becoming a priest doesn't resolve that desire.

No because being a priest takes off the pressure it makes your romantic incompetence into a positive thing. You still might be horny a lot, but there's no need for public embarrassment upon being told you have no gf.

>>8400635

Depends. Priests do get paid a stipend. Its usually not a lot. I think the archdiocese is the ones who decide how much you need to be paid, and of course it depends on the size of your congregation.

Personally, I am becoming a Brother, so for me, I would take a vow of poverty, and would share all my belongings with my other bros at the monastery. Priests take no such vow, its just another job. But you have hell of a job security, most churches in the US literally need to import their priests.

>>8400646

You CAN do all these things, but they are all sins in the Catholic Church. You probably won't be kicked out if they find a fleshlight or whatever though.

>>8400659

RCIA takes like less than a year, depending on how often it meets. Also priests (but not monks/brothers) usually need a 4 year degree, and then you need another 1-2 years of seminary. They usually want new converts to wait a bit before joining, but that would depend on what seminaries you apply for. Talk to a spiritual adviser. Say you are very devoted to the early Church, which you know is Catholic, and you want to also dedicate yourself to the Catholic Church completely. Or something.

I feel like I'm losing my faith. How can I be devout as I used to be? Everything is all about sex nowadays since I'm in college, and I'm also surrounded by pretentious atheists... and it's getting to me ;_;

>>8400786

Being surrounded by pretentious atheists makes you lose your faith? It actually helped to strengthen mine I think. Try looking into Catholic or Christian groups on campus. Also take a leaf out of this girls book.

Also I want to share this with you the typical schedule of a monk's day (aka primarily contemplative):

4:00 am Vigils (Watching in the night.)
5:15 - 7:00 am Lectio Divina/Contemplative Prayer(Breakfast)
7:00 am Lauds (Morning Prayer)
7:30 am Conventual Mass
8:15 - 9:15 am Interval for Reading/Prayer
9:20 am Tierce (Mid-morning Prayer)
9:30 am - 12:00 pm Manual Labor
12:15 - 12:30 pm Sext (Mid-day Prayer)
12:30 - 1:00 pm Mid-day Meal
1:00 - 2:15 pm Optional Siesta
2:20 pm None (Mid-afternoon Prayer)
2:30 - 4:30 pm Manual Labor
4:30 - 5:20 pm Interval
5:20 - 5:50 pm Vespers (Evening Prayer)
5:50 - 6:10 pm Community Meditation
6:30 - 8:15 pm Supper, Interval for community gatherings
7:30 - 7:50 pm Compline, Retire

how do you feel about the vatican having a huge amount of wealth dedicated to the church, and it says plain and simple in the bible to give away all you have?
are you aware of the ridiculous amount of cognitive dissonance you must be under right now?

>>8400865

>how do you feel about the vatican having a huge amount of wealth dedicated to the church, and it says plain and simple in the bible to give away all you have?

Because the Vatican isn't a single person--that "huge amount of wealth" (not really, they have a yearly budget no larger than that of a smaller American university and a lot of artwork which has been donated over the years) is shared among all Catholic Christians. The Pope himself owns nearly nothing aside from his personal belongings.

Also in Catholicism, poverty is considered a mark of perfection, along with chastity and obedience. These things are vowed by religious, but not by "normal" Catholics, who continue to earn a salary.

>>8400876
but the church itself has an undeniably strong control of resources, you can't deny that

>>8400889
*had, not has

>>8400876
>The pope owns nothing besides what he owns
Wow. That's some deep logic.

So what is your take on the Gnostic story of creation? You know that the Christian God is portrayed as Yaldabaoth, right?

Lou Dobbles Reporting

>>8400889

Sure? But again, it was all shared amongst the Church--all the laity, the religious, the clergy, etc. Those Popes who hoarded wealth and lived debauched lives like Pope Alexander VI or whoever are generally pretty well-disliked for that reason.

Launch detected . . .

Anyone?

>>8400597
>Catholic priests are no more likely to molest children than any other profession.
You, sir, are incorrect. That statement is completely baseless.

It is a simple fact that the profession of Priesthood has a much higher access to individual, unquestioned interaction with young boys. For that reason, a priest is much more likely to molest the child than an oil-rig engineer.

>>8400905
>Wow. That's some deep logic.

When I say personal belongings I mean, for example, his personal letters, a few books, and maybe some toiletries. Pope John Paul II's personal belongings after he died were literally just letters.

>So what is your take on the Gnostic story of creation? You know that the Christian God is portrayed as Yaldabaoth, right?

There is no single Gnostic story of creation, because there is no single gnostic religion--Gnostic refers to anyone who believes in Salvation via Knowledge as opposed to Salvation via Charity.

Yaldabaoth, I think, refers to the Sethians, and I generally don't know that much about the Sethians or their creation story.

As much as I'd love to become a Catholic priest, they'd never accept me (female). Fucking Catholics. Fine, I'll just go Episcopalian.

>>8400925

Nope.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2010/04/07/mean-men.html

>>8400924

You are not even trying for doubles at this point. Either that or you suck at doubles.

>>8400957

Not allowing females keeps the demand up. I can guarantee there isn't half the demand for Episcopalian priests as there is for Catholic priests.

You can become a Sister/Nun though.

>>8400936
You're right, there isn't one gnostic belief; one of the parts shared by many of the different beliefs is the story of creation.

The only thing that keeps the Gospel of Thomas from being considered a gnostic work is that it does not offer a story of creation.

Speaking of... why is Jesus, according to the Gospel of Thomas, so obsessed with bringing fire upon the world and other such destruction?

>>8401015

>The only thing that keeps the Gospel of Thomas from being considered a gnostic work is that it does not offer a story of creation.

Gnostic works don't need stories of creation, I am not sure why they even would.

Gospel of Thomas is often considered proto-Gnostic since it has elements of salvation by knowledge as opposed to salvation by works (and it was found at Nag Hammadi), though it may be a bit early for the Gnostics, and also the elements are only just barely there.

>Speaking of... why is Jesus, according to the Gospel of Thomas, so obsessed with bringing fire upon the world and other such destruction?

?? Eschatology isn't limited to the Gospel of Thomas.

>>8400513
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

you made my day

>>8401091
It seems that our understandings of the Gospel of Thomas are quite different. If I had my copy here, I'd offer quotes from it, but I am away from home and as such not prepared to discuss it.

So what about the term satan? Have biblical translations bastardized the original meaning from "adversity" or "adversary" to a demonic being?

Also, why is Metatron the only heavenly being, other than God, that is allowed to sit? Who is he?

>>8401247

There are lots of copies of the Gospel of Thomas online if you want to quote anything at me. All I said is that there are trace elements of salvation by knowledge, which is true.

>So what about the term satan? Have biblical translations bastardized the original meaning from "adversity" or "adversary" to a demonic being?

No? They haven't? Yes, Satan means adversary. Bible translations still use the term Satan. Christians understand Satan to be a demon. Yep.

>Also, why is Metatron the only heavenly being, other than God, that is allowed to sit? Who is he?

I have no idea what this means, its not held in Catholicism. (Pic related, the Queen of Heaven sitting).

Metatron is like, the head angel in Jewish mysticism, I think he used to be Enoch. Not much of a figure in Catholicism. We officially recognize only Raphael, Gabriel and Michael, and unofficially some other archangels, like Uriel from the book of Enoch.

>>8401285

Oh wait I forgot to attach pic lol.

>>8401285
I don't see how you can reconcile the non-translation of satan->Satan and the introduction of a demon through this non-translation. Adversity is not evil; it drives people to improve. Yet the introduction of this Satan demon guy provides an "evil" being that allows people to easily blame him for their problems without looking inward to improve themselves and overcome their problems. I don't see the benefit of Satan.

As for the Metatron bit, Christianity is an extension of Judaism, is it not? My understanding has always been that the Old Testament is shared between both religions, and that the New Testament is recognized only by Christianity. Have only the selected goodies been borrowed from Judaism?

why do you believe in magic? (serious question)

>>8401427

>I don't see how you can reconcile the non-translation of satan->Satan and the introduction of a demon through this non-translation. Adversity is not evil; it drives people to improve. Yet the introduction of this Satan demon guy provides an "evil" being that allows people to easily blame him for their problems without looking inward to improve themselves and overcome their problems. I don't see the benefit of Satan.

Satan is Satan if you see the "benefit" or not. Adversity to God is evil. Also Satan cannot be wholly blamed for any problem as he is only a tempter and not even the only one.

>As for the Metatron bit, Christianity is an extension of Judaism, is it not? My understanding has always been that the Old Testament is shared between both religions, and that the New Testament is recognized only by Christianity. Have only the selected goodies been borrowed from Judaism?

Metatron comes from Jewish mysticism, he isn't in the OT and he's not even from Judaism at the time where Christianity split off. He's a later development, first appearing in ~500 but not becoming a major figure til the Middle ages (and again, only within mysticism).

To say Christianity is an extension of Judaism though is itself a bit ignorant. Christians and Jews follow the same God, but their understandings are very very different.

>>8401457

Its hard for me to take that question seriously with your image good sir. But please define magic so I can give you a proper answer.

Also I wish more people would ask me about the priesthood instead.

>>8401457
>you will never be as cool or edgy as this guy

>>8401482

so are you on the way to becoming a priest?

My priest has a car. Who owns it?

>>8401482
magic. you know, talking snakes, levitation, zapping sticks into snakes, sending down holy bears to slaughter impudent youths, changing water into wine, raising zombie lazarus, curing illness (of those he touched, lol, not for you), etc

why do you believe in magic. Shit that if you say
'Abra Kadabra!" before doing, or shit you would expect Harry Potter to cast on people because its....magic

>>8401496

>so are you on the way to becoming a priest?

No I want to become a religious brother with the Capuchin Friars.

>My priest has a car. Who owns it?

If he is a diocesan priest, he probably owns it. If he is a religious priest, the community owns it.

>>8400876
>Also in Catholicism, poverty is considered a mark of perfection, along with chastity and obedience. These things are vowed by religious, but not by "normal" Catholics, who continue to earn a salary.

So wait, as a normal catholic, is it sinful for me to have money or not? I know some people take vows of poverty, but is that necessary?

>>8401472
Sorry, I meant I don't see the benefit to your followers. Sure, adversity to God is evil, but adversity to a person or to a group encourages growth and progress. The introduction of this demon figure to your religion gives your followers an easy "whipping boy". Rather than owning their mistakes and working to better themselves, I see so many of your followers blaming their problems upon "Satan" and repeating the same mistakes endlessly -- with no guilt.

>>8401505

>magic. you know, talking snakes, levitation, zapping sticks into snakes, sending down holy bears to slaughter impudent youths, changing water into wine, raising zombie lazarus, curing illness (of those he touched, lol, not for you), etc

I believe in some of those things but not in others.

.>why do you believe in magic. Shit that if you say
'Abra Kadabra!" before doing, or shit you would expect Harry Potter to cast on people because its....magic

I don't even know what this means.

>>8401510

Not OP, but I think the rule is what you do with that money: charity, etc etc

Does your religion frown upon me summoning demons through the use of the Demon Summoning Program I installed on my laptop?

A guy named Steven gave it to me. He is kinda obsessed with computers and the occult.

>>8401539
By this I mean summoning them in real life.

I seem to be the only one that can see them though.

>>8401528
if someone says "I'm gunna transform this water into wine!"

There are two ways they can do so.

1) They can explain the chemical changes necessary to fuse atoms of Hydrogen and Oxygen into organic macromolecules equal to those found in naturally occurring wine

2) They can pull out a wand, wave it over a clay pot of water and shout "abra kadabra!" while tapping the rim, which turns it into wine


Why do you believe in option 2? Substitute all of the other TRUE STORIES of the Bible where magic takes place

>>8401510

>So wait, as a normal catholic, is it sinful for me to have money or not? I know some people take vows of poverty, but is that necessary?

It isn't sinful for you to have money. Those are only for vowed religious, as marks of perfection.

>>8401527

>Sorry, I meant I don't see the benefit to your followers. Sure, adversity to God is evil, but adversity to a person or to a group encourages growth and progress.

Does it? Do you think we could encourage growth in the Appalachian mountains by, say, going in and shooting them full of bullets?

In general, Catholicism believes that you help others by building them up--feed the hungry, educate the ignorant, visit those in prison, etc. Attempting to build people by up by being an adversary to them is a non-issue. Also since Catholics already have an adversary in Satan, if there is any benefit to be had they already have it.

>The introduction of this demon figure to your religion gives your followers an easy "whipping boy". Rather than owning their mistakes and working to better themselves, I see so many of your followers blaming their problems upon "Satan" and repeating the same mistakes endlessly -- with no guilt.

Then I don't think you know many Catholics also you cannot blame anything on Satan. Satan only tempts and does not force your hand.

>>8401539
>Does your religion frown upon me summoning demons through the use of the Demon Summoning Program I installed on my laptop?

Yep.

>>8401555

I don't believe in #2 though. You are the one who is going on about Abra Kadabra.

>>8401571
I see. Then I guess I have inadvertently aligned myself with chaos.

That makes you and I both enemies.

>>8401571
Have you not read your own holy book? What other properties would you describe Jesus to possess if not magic?

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%202&version=NIV

>>8401578

Guess so.

what's the difference between christianity and catholicism?

white foreign devils have some weeeeeird beliefs.

>>8401589

I've read the entire Bible (not the NIV though thats Protestant), as well as many extra-Biblical Gospels, pious early texts writings from the Church Fathers, and of course the Catechism of the Catholic Church,

You are the only one going on about Abra Kadabra.

>>8401607

I think you are being deliberately obtuse. Jesus transforms water into wine. There are two methods this can be performed.

1) Follows natural causality. It is restricted by cause and effect. The molecules of wine have to come from somewhere, and they can be explained through scientific examination

2) lol, its magic, ain't got to explain shit. See: John 2
Why do you believe in magical things such as water turning into wine, or bears being sent from heaven to kill children, or Moses's stick transforming into a snake, or talking snakes, or a myriad of other MAGICAL things that occur in the bible

why don't you believe in the sun god amaterasu

that is the only true god

>>8401557
Without adversity, people would be content to do nothing. When they become hungry, they face adversity and must find food. Then the hunger subsides and they are comfortable in doing nothing once again. Look at youth in today's world. Many are comfortable wasting away on MMORPGs. The only real adversity they face is imposed upon them by society/family (eg, go to school, do homework, etc).

And in your example, yes. Whoever survives the shootings would be driven to overcome the situation and respond to the wrongs dealt to them. It is basically the idea of the phoenix. Whatever survives will burst from the ashes, reborn and more powerful than before.

I asked what the purpose of introducing Satan was, and you say there is no benefit because Catholicism already has Satan. I think you are confused about my question.

In any case, it is late and I must sleep. Good luck with your religion.

>>8401606

>what's the difference between christianity and catholicism?

Catholicism is Christianity. Catholicism is the original Christianity founded by Jesus Christ and the Apostles. Around the 16th century various peoples got uppity and broke away from the Church, destroying many of their original beliefs. Here are the primary definitions.

Catholics (original Christians): Believe the Eucharist is the Body, Blood, Spirit and Divinity of Jesus Christ present physically and spiritually in its entirety. (Real Presence)
Protestants: Think Eucharist is grape juice and crackers. (Real absence)

Catholics: Believe when we die you are judged based on your Charity through Faith. Salvation is never fully guaranteed. Most good people after they die are sent to a place of temporal punishment, called Purgatory. Only the very best, like the Mother of God herself, go straight to Heaven.
Protestants: Believe you pray a prayer and go to Heaven, guaranteed.

Catholics: Believe you can pray to any Catholic in Heaven or Purgatory and that these prayers are the most beneficial
Protestants: Think that dead people cannot hear your prayers (in spite of claiming to believe in eternal life.)

Catholics: Believe in the Pope as the Heir to St. Peter and the Vicar of Christ, keeper of the Faith of the Apostles.
Protestants: Believe anyone can be their own pope and make up their own doctrine.

Catholics: Believe in Oral and Written Tradition.
Protestants: Believe in Sola Scriptura even though Sola Scriptura is nowhere in the Bile.

etc.

>>8401638
>Believe when we die you are judged based on your Charity through Faith. Salvation is never fully guaranteed. Most good people after they die are sent to a place of temporal punishment, called Purgatory. Only the very best, like the Mother of God herself, go straight to Heaven.

Sounds awfully like the Law faction of Shin Megami Tensei.

They were pricks. Fuck your religion, it sucks. I hate lawfags.

Can I sell Mexicans as slaves, or did Jesus explicitly ban God's holy covenant with the chosen people?

44 “‘Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. 45 You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property. 46 You can bequeath them to your children as inherited property and can make them slaves for life, but you must not rule over your fellow Israelites ruthlessly.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=leviticus%2025:39-46&version=NIV

>>8401638
>Purgatory

Catholicism abolished that idea years ago. Get with the times, man.

>>8401619

You are still the only one talking about magic. Also But yes, God can do anything and is not restricted by any law of nature per se. The laws of nature belong to him so its fine if he breaks them.

>>8401620

>why don't you believe in the sun god amaterasu

Because amaterasu is nowhere in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, sooo...

>>8401636
>Without adversity, people would be content to do nothing.

That is untrue. But even if it were true, like I said, Satan still acts as an adversity so I have no idea what you are on about or what your actual point is.

>And in your example, yes. Whoever survives the shootings would be driven to overcome the situation and respond to the wrongs dealt to them. It is basically the idea of the phoenix. Whatever survives will burst from the ashes, reborn and more powerful than before.

Oh ok. Go and do that, then explain you are doing them a favor. Africa is facing so much adversity and the West is facing so little, I wonder how come we aren't a total shithole in comparison to them?

>I asked what the purpose of introducing Satan was, and you say there is no benefit because Catholicism already has Satan. I think you are confused about my question.

There is no purpose to introduce Satan. Satan is Satan. He has his own motivations and his own story.

>In any case, it is late and I must sleep.

Good night.

mfw I was raised Lutheran

>>8401663
>Because amaterasu is nowhere in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, sooo...

basically your baka gaijin religion is a lie

>>8401658

>Catholicism abolished that idea years ago. Get with the times, man.

Ugh no, no they did not. I am actually pretty concerned because I have heard this a lot on 4chan, and I can only imagine that the general population is that much more stupid.

1) Puragtory is an established dogma. It has gone nowhere. It is absolutely a critical belief for salvation within the Church.

2) You are PROBABLY thinking of the Pope's speech on LIMBO, which was inaccurately referred to as "Pope abolishes Limbo" in the press.

3) The Pope didn't really abolish Limbo he just re-stated what has always been the Catholic Church's official position--its an acceptable but not required or even recommended belief.

Pic related, Purgatory

>>8401638
>Catholicism is the original Christianity founded by Jesus Christ and the Apostles.
Actually, the closest one to 'original' Christianity is the Orthodox Christianity

Isn't the pope just a figurehead? What does he do besides molest boys?

The application of the various denominations of the religions of Abraham. The modern world has only stopped this kind of practice in the last 400 years, coinciding with the rise of reason.

SPOILER: They die by stoning


‘If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=leviticus%2020:13&version=NIV

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=b1e7e992d7

>You are still the only one talking about magic. Also But yes, God can do anything and is not restricted by any law of nature per se. The laws of nature belong to him so its fine if he breaks them

Harry Potter is not restricted by the laws of nature. He can levitate, heal the sick, and raise from the dead.

In short, he does MAGIC

>>8401666

>post Martin Luther
>666
>mfw

regarding the pop.

what's the difference between a vicar and the anti-christ?

>>8401652

You cannot sell Mexicans as slaves, either within the Catholic Church or within the USA.

OT law in general is not followed by Christians. There was a faction called Jewish Christians who did, but they didn't last too long as St. Paul pretty much won that particular theological disagreement.

>>8401675
>Actually, the closest one to 'original' Christianity is the Orthodox Christianity

That is very very debatable. I will be fair and say there it is a 50/50 split.

>>8401680

He writes encyclicals, makes speeches. He can speak infallibly on matters of faith and morals if he speaks from the chair, call councils, and such like that. Of course he holds Mass still.

>>8401703
*pope

>>8401704
again, christfag, you don't know your own religion. The OT law is still valid. No Christian subscribes to it because it is barbaric lunacy. There is no scriptural support for this view, however. Jesus did change some OT laws, of which he specifically spoke of. He says nothing about slaves other than for them to be obedient to Christian masters.

Matthew 5:17

Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+5%3A17&version=NIV

>>8401691

Um ok?

>>8401692

Also note that Reformation Day is October 31, associated with Hell in Catholic tradition (Nov 1 is Heaven, Nov 2 Purgatory).

Also double note that John 6:66 (number of the beast) has people walking away in skepticism about eating the flesh and drinking the blood of Jesus Christ. To never return. What is one of the first things the Protestants did away with? The real presence of the Eucharist, making it into only a "symbol".

>>8401703

>what's the difference between a vicar and the anti-christ?

I don't know what this means. A vicar is a representative, a bishop within Catholicism. The Anti-Christ is a figure who superficially appears like Jesus but who only leads them away from God.

>>8401729
>The Anti-Christ is a figure who superficially appears like Jesus but who only leads them away from God.

Isn't that exactly what the Pope is?

>>8401729
Good, we agree. So why do you believe in magic? Why not the magic of Harry Potter, now that we agree you believe in such things

>>8401727

Read the rest of Matthew 5 . Every single dumbfag atheist quotes that passage out of context and forgets to read the rest of the passage which tears into OT law.

After you are done reading Matthew 5 read the Epistles of St. Paul where he removes the OT requirements altogether and then read the Church Father documents and Catechism of the Catholic Church which confirm this.

The Bible is not Christianity, Christianity pre-dates the Bible. The Bible informs Christianity, yes, but only through the understanding of Tradition and Magisterium (see Church Fathers).

Also, I know my religion far better than you do.

If I'm going to join a god damn monastery it will be Shao-fucking-lin.

>>8401736

No the Pope is the representative of Christ on Earth who leads everyone to God.

>>8401738

>Good, we agree. So why do you believe in magic? Why not the magic of Harry Potter, now that we agree you believe in such things

I said ok that Harry Potter knows magic I didn't say I believed in it either way. You are the only one on about magic. Why are you so obsessed?

>>8401755

Well ok. I think you have a better chance of getting into a Catholic monastery even if you don't get to play with a sword or whatever.

>>8401756
He claims to represent Jesus though. How can a mere moral claim such a thing? Clearly that's the work of an anti-christ leading people away from God.

>>8401766

Do you think St. Peter is also the anti-christ?

I'm female, OP. Your shitty religion can't offer me anything. At least Protenstantism would let me become a priest.

>>8401759

Come at us bros

Buddha be praised

>>8401790

> I'm female, OP. Your shitty religion can't offer me anything. At least Protenstantism would let
me become a priest.

Protestants don't have priests. Also you can become a nun or religious sister, live in a community with all your sises helping to make the world a better place.

>>8401817

Yes, they do. A lot of churches in Europe are protestant, have priests, and female ones.

Also why would you settle for anything less? Because god says girls can't be priests. Please. Your shitty traditions are old and wrong.

>>8401790
>>8401817

Also I beg to differ about the shitty religion jab when in fact Catholicism is the largest, oldest branch of Christianity, does the most charity, has the most miracles, and has the strongest traditions. Becoming a nun has often been a point of freedom for women who don't want to be married.

>>8401744


>Epistles of St. Paul where he removes the OT requirements altogether and then read the Church Father documents and Catechism of the Catholic Church which confirm this.

>The Bible is not Christianity, Christianity pre-dates the Bible. The Bible informs Christianity, yes, but only through the understanding of Tradition and Magisterium (see Church Fathers).
>Tradition and humans attempting to pacify the barbarism of the OT supersede the words of the fucking messiah, Jesus Christ

>OP rages when even the Bible shows how horseshit his religion is

>>8401843

Which churches? The Anglicans?

In any case, no. Its not a wrong tradition. We are different, and that is not a bad thing. Sisters and nuns are some of the most educated women in the world, and often contribute an incredible amount to their communities.

Priests act in persona Christi, and obviously Christ was a man, as were all his Apostles.

>>8401862
>Tradition and humans attempting to pacify the barbarism of the OT supersede the words of the fucking messiah, Jesus Christ

Tradition IS the words of Jesus Christ, just those which were not immediately written down.

>>8401790
>I'm female, OP. Your shitty religion can't offer me anything. At least Protenstantism would let me become a priest.

Boy there are bible verses for everyone tonight. In short: shut the fuck if you have a vagina

1 Tim 2:9-12


9 I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, 10 but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.

11 A woman[a] should learn in quietness and full submission. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man;[b] she must be quiet.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Timothy+2&version=NIV

Why are you on this site if you don't worship the base god?

It seems like trolling to come on a site meant for fucked gay earth creationists and preach to them about a god who isn't based.

>>8401867
Are you just fucking with us now? You can't be this fucking stupid. Not even the Christians I talk to in person are this monumentally retarded.

>>8400453
> Become priest
> Become child-molester

They are inclusive with each other. Good one, OP.

>>8401756
I, too, have been told from childhood that good things come to those who believe in magic. That's why. Solidarity in a fellow believer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Hc7gVmoMoA

>>8401880

Look up Sacred Tradition. Or hell look up the Epistles of St. Paul again--it clearly affirms the use of oral tradition as well as written. Both are well established within the Church.

>>8401874

You ignore the part of the Epistles where OT law is abolished then go on about this? Geez.

>>8401892
What does any of this matter when you worship a debased God?

>>8401892
look, I don't spend my days bending over backwards for loopholes on how no longer act like bigoted, murderous savages. That's your church's job. You can either explain how their loophole works, or you can just accept that it's utter bullshit. Either way, from the outside, it's pretty fucking obvious why 1600's Salem burned witches at the stake, and why 1800's Southern USA used the Bible to support slavery.

Both of which are well fucking past Jesustime and only recently has your loophole been used on them.

18Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=exodus%2022:18&version=KJV

Why aren't they used today? Pic related.

Anyone have an ideas for an atheist brotherhood of monks?

>>8401912

>look, I don't spend my days bending over backwards for loopholes on how no longer act like bigoted, murderous savages. That's your church's job. You can either explain how their loophole works, or you can just accept that it's utter bullshit. Either way, from the outside, it's pretty fucking obvious why 1600's Salem burned witches at the stake, and why 1800's Southern USA used the Bible to support slavery.

lol its not a loophole. Christians have never ever followed OT law, long before OT law was even placed into the Christian canon.

Also you are talking about Protestant groups, who can make up whatever they want as they go along. Like many atheists you completely miss the role of the OT in Christianity.

>>8401917

Atheists fucking hate monks. Every time atheists take over a country, its the first thing to go. Kill the monks. Buddhist monks, Catholic monks, doesn't fucking matter.

Pic related giant stack of dead monks.

>>8401920
what is the role of old testament law then?

I have been slowly reading the bible and just got through Leviticus, and some of it seems very backwards.

>>8401920
You should clarify your statements by saying Catholics, not Christians. And yes, Catholics believe the ridiculous bullshit of the old testament.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+38%3A8-10&version=NIV

means those poor souls of Africa would be better off dying a painful death of AIDS than wear a condom

>>8401937
The Old Testament was the True Absolute Morality of the Loving, Just, and Vengeful God that created all.

It is infallible. Keep that in mind when you read it. "This is exactly what God commanded people to do for at least 4000 years before sending Jesus"

>>8401937

lol if you read the Bible you shouldn't start at Genesis.

>what is the role of old testament law then?


It's the law of the Jews. The law Jesus grew up with, the sort of culture he is preaching him and you see him critique large parts of it right in Matthew 5 (as well as throughout the Gospels)--he tears into the ideas about divorce, about "eye for an eye", about swearing. Acts later covers kosher law, St. Paul in his epistles dismisses the whole thing as non-binding on Gentiles. (Jewish Christians thought parts or the whole thing was still binding, they had their own Gospels)/ OT law is still semi-important as a backdrop.

>>8401938

>You should clarify your statements by saying Catholics, not Christians. And yes, Catholics believe the ridiculous bullshit of the old testament.

They believe in the OT but they don't follow OT law. Nor do Protestants. Nor do hardcore Biblical literalists. Know why? Because the writings of St. Paul, thats why.

Also its a false dichotomy between die of AIDS and/or wear a condom. There is such a thing as respectful and careful sexuality. And guess what? Catholic nations in Africa have lower AIDS rates than Protestant. Go figure.

>>8401947

That isn't even true. It was the law of the Jews. The 10 Commandments were the law of God, and those are still held by Christians.

>lol if you read the Bible you shouldn't start at Genesis.


ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?


Anyone want to take a guess why he shouldn't start on the core claims of the entire fucking religion and the origin of the universe, life, and attributes of God's perfect creation? Because it sounds fucking nuts if you read it on your own.

Genesis 9:29

29 Noah lived a total of 950 years, and then he died.

>>8401971

Wait what? Genesis is the "core claim" of Christianity? No it isn't. The primeval history is semi-important for its deeper themes (I recommend getting a good Bible to understand them though, such as Navarre or Ignatius). The rest of it....is more like the legends of the different tribes in the area. Then you get into more Jewish legends, Jewish law, etc. I mean MAYBE if you are reading Jewish Scripture but if you are reading the Bible it seems weird to start at the Torah.

>>8401967
Jews = God's chosen people
Jewish law = commanded by God
God = Absolute morality

therefore:

...oh wait, lol, you believe this shit. Yea, don't worry about it. Only applies to the Jews....by God...for 4000 years. Don't think about it.

All that shit in Leviticus about God loving the smell of burning animal flesh in animal sacrifices? Don't think about it too much. Join the church, it has nice music and makes you feel ways about stuff

>>8401960
>lol if you read the Bible you shouldn't start at Genesis.
Whoa whoa whoa, Christfag here and I definitely think you should start at the beginning. I'm biased though because I started at the beginning and only started the NT after I got well through David's stuff.

>>8401976
I would assume the set up of Genesis 1 with the whole "creating the universe perfect" and the "fall of man" and the history of God's chosen people to later deliver the Messiah to the fallen world and all that jazz would be important in terms of Christian mythology.

But seriously, it says some crazy shit in there. Don't read about owning slaves for life unless you understand the "context" of slave ownership under God's divine command.

Read the NT first.

>>8401983

>Jews = God's chosen people

This is only true in Judaism. In Christianity, salvation and God expands to the entirety of humanity.

Also I think you are overestimating the amount of time that the Jewish law has been around. We are currently in the year 2000, earliest parts of the Torah from around 900 BC....so like lets round and say 3000 years. Jews still follow Jewish law btw.

>>8401986
>Whoa whoa whoa, Christfag here and I definitely think you should start at the beginning. I'm biased though because I started at the beginning and only started the NT after I got well through David's stuff.

I think its better to read the Navarre New Testament, read that, then follow with the readings of the Church (with commentary, though its not necessary to buy the Navarre for that unless you are looking for a good education).

>>8401991

True, the Fall is important but most people are already familiar with that through cultural osmosis.

The Gospels and to a lesser extent the Epistles frame the core Christian teachings. Without those you won't really know how most of the Jewish laws, legends, histories, etc. fit in.

I always try to read the bible from start to finish, but I get confused and stop halfway through the old testament.

Does this make me a half jew?

>>8401997
>This is only true in Judaism

>earliest parts of the Torah from around 900 BC....so like lets round and say 3000 years. Jews still follow Jewish law btw

>only true in Judaism
>3000 years


God's idea of the epitome of human actions for 3000 years:

Leviticus 1 (actually, it's like half of the fucking book. Other half is who to stone to death)

You are to slaughter the young bull before the LORD, and then Aaron’s sons the priests shall bring the blood and splash it against the sides of the altar at the entrance to the tent of meeting. 6 You are to skin the burnt offering and cut it into pieces. 7 The sons of Aaron the priest are to put fire on the altar and arrange wood on the fire. 8 Then Aaron’s sons the priests shall arrange the pieces, including the head and the fat, on the wood that is burning on the altar. 9 You are to wash the internal organs and the legs with water, and the priest is to burn all of it on the altar. It is a burnt offering, a food offering, an aroma pleasing to the LORD.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus+1&version=NIV

Hell if I were to give my FULL opinion, I don't think you should read Scripture til you've read the whole Catechism of the Catholic Church.

You need to know Tradition, you need to know the teachings of the Magisterium. you need to know the language, the culture, how and why they wrote. Scripture was meant to be read by those already well-versed in the Faith. Random folk reading it with no context or education whatsoever is how we got Protestantism (no offense Protestants).

>>8402013

Yes you are half Jewish.

>>8402016

Well Jews don't make burnt sacrifices anymore, because their temple was destroyed. =(

Again, I am not Jewish and I have no idea why you are on about that.

>>8402017
Is that why the catholic church still reads in latin? That I am not worthy of understanding a fuck of what they're saying?

>>8402006
So we agree:

Leviticus 25:46

“‘Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. 45 You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property. 46 You can bequeath them to your children as inherited property and can make them slaves for life, but you must not rule over your fellow Israelites ruthlessly.
Man that is so fucking ambiguous. I really need to read about how Christ died for my sins before I can really understand what "God says it's A-OK to sell humans as property" means

>>8402024
They don't slaughter animals and burn them as a sacrifice to the burnt fleshing loving god because ITS FUCKING CRAZY TO A POINT THAT ITS A PUBLIC RELATIONS PROBLEM

nothing else. Hey, guess what? The Catholic Church is hinting that using condoms may be acceptable under specific circumstances. Want to take a guess why they say that now?

>>8402029
>under specific circumstances
Ya, prostitution.
But is it really necessary to have so much regulation?

>>8402025

>Is that why the catholic church still reads in latin? That I am not worthy of understanding a fuck of what they're saying?

The Catholic Church does not still read in Latin. The Catholic Church has always had translated Bibles, and has more recently had translated Holy Masses with language of that of the people. People are encouraged to read the Bible, you receive an indulgence for doing so (a removal of some of your temporal punishment). BUT they must do so IN CONTEXT with approved commentary from the Bishops. NIV for example, is a Protestant Bible. It is missing some books and all commentary. And under no circumstances can you take the Bible and draw your own conclusions. You lack the authority and, more than that, the education. That is why there are 30000 Protestant churches and only one Catholic Church.

>>8402026

You need to know that the Jewish law was flawed and did not reflect the perfection of God. You can learn that through reading, say, Matthew 5. Or the epistles of Paul. Or the rest of the Gospels.

Or through reading the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

I haven't really read the thread, so I'm just throwing this out here, but I regard the OT as applying only to the Jews and somewhat invalidated due to the arrival of Jesus.

Old Testament CSI

What does God want you to do if you find a murder in the 3000 years before Jesus?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlpAW848BCA

>>8402034
What I mean is, who is the pope to say when someone should use a condom? It isn't his dick, and I refuse to lower myself to using those contraptions.

>>8402029

No they stopped the second the temple was destroyed. It was never a public relations problem for them. The second temple was destroyed in the year 70, so shortly after the death of Christ. So ya.

Some Jews do want to rebuild a temple.

>Hey, guess what? The Catholic Church is hinting that using condoms may be acceptable under specific circumstances. Want to take a guess why they say that now?

They say its somewhat acceptable when being used purely as a measure to defend against STDs and not as a contraception. For example, a male prostitute who services males using a condom isn't using it as birth control, and so under Catholic law he is fine (at least in terms of the condom, not in terms of anything else). The Catholic Church cannot be accused of watering down their doctrines just to tell people what they want to hear.

>>8402046

Sort of. The Jewish law was never once binding on Gentiles. Its exactly that--Jewish law.

>>8402051

>What I mean is, who is the pope to say when someone should use a condom? It isn't his dick, and I refuse to lower myself to using those contraptions.

Basically, Catholicism believes that sex has two major components--procreative and unitive, and you should never split these two elements.

Its not the Pope talking--its the entire history of the Church. There is no room for condoms really. Now is there a need for this regulation? Eh.

>>8402065
>The Catholic Church cannot be accused of watering down their doctrines just to tell people what they want to hear

>Condom use JUST RECENTLY considered acceptable under explicit, stupid circumstances

>>8402065
How come he allows female prostitutes in Africa to use condoms?
Why did god tell the pope to change his stance?

>>8402065
Shouldn't the Jews be worried? God really fucking loves the smell of slaughtered, virgin meat burning for his pleasure. It says so in the Bible.

God's got to be pretty fucking pissed if no one has slaughtered an animal in his name.

Or do you think that's why he upped the stakes to human sacrifice of Jesus?


What other religions do you consider "sane" that sacrifice humans to appease the Gods?

>>8402085

>How come he allows female prostitutes in Africa to use condoms?

He doesn't, show me where he permits this.

>>8402082

Contraception has always been banned. However a condom in a gay situation isn't being used as contraception.

>>8402097
let me reiterate, since it didn't sink in the first time:

>Condom use JUST RECENTLY considered acceptable under explicit, stupid circumstances

>>8402089

>Shouldn't the Jews be worried? God really fucking loves the smell of slaughtered, virgin meat burning for his pleasure. It says so in the Bible.

I dunno, I am not a Jew. Right in OP it says I am a giant Catholicfag. Ask some Jews--Orthodox Jews are the ones who want to rebuild the Temple, generally speaking.

>>8402097
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/vaticancityandholysee/8154176/Pope-women-as-well-as
-men-can-use-condoms.html

Wouldn't it be better to get AIDs than go to hell? Why does the pope not care about sending people to eternal damnation?

>>8402104

No it wasn't. Condoms not being used for contraception are always approval-worthy.

The Pope just re-stated the official Church position and the media blew up about it. Just like they did about Limbo which is why I still have to educate dumb non-Catholics about why Purgatory-is-still-dogma-you-are-thinking-of-Limbo-but-no-Limbo-wasn't-really-abolished.

>>8402115

Given the media record on reporting about the Catholic Church (aka shitty) I will wait for an official Papal statement or encyclical as opposed to this third hand nonsense. Until then the position of the Church is the same as it always has been.

>>8402109
youve still read the fucking old testament, right?

God really fucking loves having pure animals killed and burned for him to enjoy the savory aroma.

Was God satisfied with just one human sacrifice? Or was it because it was a man-god? What other religions do you consider sane that had human sacrifices?


Do you consider the Aztec religion sane? They cut out human hearts to make sure the sun rose in the morning. Christians killed their own god to absolve the sin inflicted on them by said god.

http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/archive/ldn/2009/mar/09031906

Also please see here--condom distribution increases the rates of AIDS.

Explains why Catholic nations in Africa have lower HIV rates than Protestant. responsible sexuality ftw.

>>8402136

>youve still read the fucking old testament, right?

Yes, several times with commentary from the Bishops. So I know more than you, who takes verses out of their theological, historical and cultural contexts.

God doesn't inflict sin upon others. And I think any religion which has an element of voluntary, self-sacrifice for others is perfectly sane. Commendable even.

My cousin has down syndrome.
We tried to take him to church, but the priest sent him away.
How come my cousin has to go to hell?

>>8402176
The Lord works in mysterious ways


like inflicting an extra chromosome on your retarded cousin

>>8402176

If your cousin is messed up in the head, he lacks consent for sin so he probably won't go to Hell. Pray for him in Purgatory though, if he dies before you.

>>8402186
The best your cousin can hope for is an eternity of neutrality because God tossed his soul a lemon body


Why? Because fuck you, Eve sinned. That's why

>>8402197

Huh? Purgatory isn't neutral. Most people go to Purgatory when they die. It is in Purgatory where you become perfect, since only the perfect can enter heaven. Its a place of great suffering, far greater than anything on Earth, but we come out of it as better people.

Also your soul has nothing to do with Downs Syndrome.

Pic related, Purgatory.

>>8402197
>>8402206

Holy crap and your post was like 20 levels of dumbass so I missed this the first time around but you never get sent to Purgatory because 'Eve sinned thats why'.

Honestly, Christianity isn't some obscure cargo cult. Its the largest religion in the world. I know the five pillars of Islam and the basics there. I mean, fine if you want to be ignorant but then don't run your mouth like this, geez.

>>8400453
Whats it like to understand nothing about the bible, as sainthood and idolizing the mother mary is pretty much the most detestable sin you could commit along with homosexuality "Which you all seem to do"

>>8402206
Purgatory isnt real, it was just something the vatican added to their doctrine in order to manipulate tax money. The bible says nothing of the sort

>>8401817

More on this. The Catholic church is considered female. So thus the priests are literally marrying the church. That's why females cannot becomes priests due to being of the same "sex."

>>8402240
Jesus mentions it twice in passing. He didn't call it specifically 'purgatory'.

>>8402237

>Whats it like to understand nothing about the bible, as sainthood and idolizing the mother mary is pretty much the most detestable sin you could commit along with homosexuality "Which you all seem to do"

lol, no. We don't idolize the Mother Mary, we venerate her,as the Mother of God and the Mother of all Christians. Nothing gives God more joy. The Blessed Virgin Mary is like his greatest artwork, and he is her artist. Same with all the Saints, who simply reflect God's grace into the world.

And its in the Bible, in St. Gabriel's Annunciation: "Hail Mary Full of Grace the Lord is with Thee!"

Which forms the beginning of the Hail Mary. So ya.

>>8402240

It is in the Bible (not by name), though its most explicit references are in the books which Protestants removed from the OT.

In any case, not everything is in the Bible. Lesbians aren't in the Bible either.