I motion that we use roberts rules of order for the meetings.

I further motion that we correct the acronym to ASSG, to be correct.

>>7287957
>Today will be a bit of a meet and greet.

Read: Today will be a bunch of faggots posting their problems. Kind of like literally every other post ever made on this entire board.

Yay! Hello! Where to begin? Well, I was always a bit shy as a kid, but still very social. Then, at around 13 years old, I started to retreat into my shell. I've never come back out.

Once you become a recluse, you forget how to interact with people and doing so is scary and often a failure. I also have pretty bad self-esteem, which I guess all of us do, but I believe that's what caused this in the first place for me. So that's something I try to work on as well.

What do I want? Well, I don't want to become an 'outgoing' person. I like a lot of time by myself. Even if I'm with people and I'm having a good time, I still eventually feel the need to be alone. However, social anxiety is really interfering with my life. I'm kept from doing what I want to do, and I'm far off track from all my goals now. If my 13 year old self saw me today, he'd be ashamed of what I've become. I've already been at rock bottom before and I fear I'm heading right down there again.

So really, I don't care if I continue to have social anxiety the rest of my life even, I just want it to stop it holding me back from being myself.

I always feel more comfortable with people on /adv/. It's like we all know each other, even though we don't. So hopefully we can help each other too.

>>7287977
>I motion that we use roberts rules of order for the meetings.
Elaborate? I'm not familiar with it

>>7287982
Would you like to introduce yourself, Anon?

Hello :3

I have suffered with anxiety disorders for 5 years now. I am a diagnosed agoraphobic and have gone as long as 8 months without leaving my home or speaking to anyone. Recently, my life has turned around as I started taking classes at my local community college, but panic still holds the reigns on my life.

From these meetings I hope to learn more about the situations of other people with similar disorders and how they cope with them, as well as give tips on how I've come to deal.

well, i'll contribute i guess.
i went to private school even though my family was lower middle class. they wanted to give me the best education, but i was shunned because i couldn't afford all their rich shit.
so i went to a public high school, but by then it was too late. i didn't know how to make friends. and at college it's been the same so far. i just want to function normally. like it's worse now because i can't even say 'hi' to a store clerk without being awkward

>>7288064
>I am a diagnosed agoraphobic and have gone as long as 8 months without leaving my home or speaking to anyone
Just curious, how does one even do this? How do you make an income to support yourself?

I've never been agoraphobic, I rather like the outside. I just get anxiety when it comes to talking to people. Congrats on improving though! Maybe we all can.

>>7288087
I know the feeling of "Wanting to function normally". Personally, I think we need to ditch that and rephrase it to "Wanting to function at the best of my ability." The chances of your social phobias going away are slim to none, but you can learn to live with them.

With the store clerk thing, you may feel awkward, but they probably don't see you that way. Remember most people have some sort of confidence issue them self, hell, they could have a similar problem. Always smile, be polite, and things will go well.

I have friends, I can function in society, I just prefer being alone, often when i'm out i'll go chill in a toilet by my self for 10 minutes or so, or pretend to text, just to be alone.

Not sure if I belong in this thread.

>>7288133
thanks i will try.
but i'm pretty sure they either think i'm awkward or rude. it's like i open my mouth but nothing comes out. i actually feel quite bad about it

You fags are pathetic
>Hurr I cant talk to people because im scared!
>Durr lets make constant threads about it instead of fixing our problems!
Fuck you all.

I stay alone and don't go outside for much. I'm about as clueless and nervous in social situations as any sociophobe. Guess I'm kind of scared of my own self-inflicted ignorance and depravity from sitting inside and doing nothing but acting autisticly and playin then vidya gaems.

>>7288087
>i went to private school even though my family was lower middle class
I know that feel. Makes you feel very inadequate. Didn't actually go to a private school, but grew up in a very affluent neighborhood. Lots of kids I know went on to go to a private high school. Sucks because I wish I got to still be in class with some of them.

>i can't even say 'hi' to a store clerk without being awkward
know that feel too.

Well, I gotta go for dinner, damn. Hopefully the thread will be alive until I'm back. See you!

>>7288119
I'm actually pretty young, I'll be turning 19 in a couple of weeks. My parents have always been supportive and tried to get me help and I attribute much of my success to their helpful nature. They've always said that I could live with them as long as I wanted, but my desire to not be a burden on their shoulders has made me work hard and try and be a part of society.

>>7288179
You seem kind of happy. You can stay if you feel like though.

>>7288192
Welcome to the club, I think you'll find a lot of us like vidya. Do you want to change? What would you change?

Stop with your self-diagnosis bullshit.

I used to think I had social anxiety, but then I realised so does everybody else. There's nobody in this world who doesn't get nervous about social situations. They're scared of saying stupid things and becoming an outcast. This anxiety is normal, it's part of life. Accept it and move the fuck on.

Guess what, talking to people is a skill like any other. I used to be shitting myself at the mere prospect of leaving my house or interacting with others. Now I am a functioning human being. How did I do it? Practice. I talked to a fucking lot of people, got outside my comfort zone and changed myself.

I came on /adv/ because I'm in a really happy place in my life right now, I was in the mood for helping people. This is shit that I wish somebody told me when I was younger.

Lets get moving then. Next thread better be "What are you doing to remedy this?"

>>7288221
Going back to school has been the best thing I've ever done. Education has always been one of my passions, and getting something done makes me feel really good about myself. I've also learned that a lot of people want to talk to me and like me for who I am in my new setting.

This said, I still do feel lonely sometimes. Like something is missing, or that my new friends don't understand how hard it is for me to speak with them sometimes.

>>7288215
>vidya, change

Yeah I used to like vidya but I'm a perfectionist and these console machines are shit. I might have a gaming PC and play some DoDs and maybe some BF3 or Sykrim (you seen this madness?) But it actually used to be an addiction. Like always, taste change, kids grow up.

I was really just a nobody, so like I said, I don't think I have that much of a "phobia" but I'm as inexperienced and concerned as you guys, figure I'd take part.

I started to basically want to change and improve my social life soon as I lost my vidya addiction, victim complex, and other faggotry.

What do I have to improve? Same things every low life has to improve, looks, friends, women, education, profit, well being. I still feel like shit and don't have much to show for my efforts but it's all getting better for sure.

>>7288288
Yeah I've been doing some thinking about the outcast mentality, I've decided it might be okay with some good friends or a cute girl but eventually you want popular status among some group or you'll grow old and unfulfilled. What I really wish for most is to just get to be comfortable enough to be stupid sometimes. I love that.

Bump! Other peoples solutions or how they are dealing with their social anxiety/anxiety is appreciated.

I have a really hard time making friends. I get nervous to talk to people, and I'm in college. I live alone in an apartment and looking back, I should've just manned up and lived in a dorm for my first year but I was honestly too nervous and scared to do that.

I just don't know how to strike up conversations with people. Part of the reason is that I'm fat, so I kind of feel like people wouldn't want to be my friend, even though I have friends that don't go to my school, or in high school I had a lot of friends. I'm working on the fat part though, but it will take me a long time to get down to a healthy weight.

I come from a lower end of the class spectrum. My mother has health problems and my father became disabled 4 years ago due to alcohol which caused us to lose our "starter house" which we lived in for over 10 years. I now live in a small town house and will begin college soon driving too and from attempting to limit taking out loans. I've been attempting to start successful business ventures for a little over a year now with some success, and am banking on a project I just finished and a few more that I have lined up. If all goes well I'll drop out of school after 1 semester and move to a studio apartment in the city or go straight to buying land in a rural area, zone it and build my own house on it which will turn into a village in due time where I'll live by myself creating art, tending to my gardens with bonsai & psychedelics. If I fail in some respect and end up with no money I'll be committing seppuku in a public space.

>>7288383
>appearance
That will always be a contributing factor. Getting approval is pretty easy but not as easy as gaining someone's disapproval. If you want to hang around and be seen with others you've got to be good looking and social. I've been on both ends of this, you've just got to be understanding, never seen any butthurt over it.


>don't know how to start conversations
Rapport, obviously.

>fat, take a long time
Sorry to hear that man, but I can tell you that if you kick it into high gear you'll lose a lot more than you expect. I've seen people 3/10 go to 7/10 just for going fit, and they weren't morbid at all.

By the lame "charts" calorie deficit of 500 a day will only lead to losing like 10-20 pounds a month, but I've seen really overweight people just start to take shape, burn pounds, and lose way more than that in a month, and they didn't even need to stop eating. Recognize when what you're eating is fatty or compound sugars.

>>7288451
>Getting approval is pretty easy but not as easy as gaining someone's disapproval

Fuck typos. It's even easier to get disapproval. That's what I meant.

Any tips on first year away at college? I start in almost a week and I'm so fucking scared sometimes just thinking about it. I have a history of anxiety and I'm worried it might flare up.

I too used to be a vidya addict but lost interest in them. I'm trying to replace all my time with other things, but lack of funds and social anxiety makes it hard.

>>7288414
That's interesting. What kind of businesses? if I may inquire. Graphic design?

>>7288414
You're primary issue is not social anxiety, seek help elsewhere, you need more than this.

>>7288368
Things go up and down. You take a shot, talk to somebody, goes well, you gain a lot of confidence. You're feeling good so you take another chance and talk to somebody out of the blue the next day too, goes bad, you regret it, you dwell on it for the next two weeks. Obviously, you just have to stop worrying about the awry moments, but I'm still figuring that part out. Every time something goes wrong, I won't forget it.

>>7288562
I suggest putting less stock in people's opinions and reactions, and analyzing what isn't going to amount to anything. Quantity over quality as long as you aren't fucking up majorly. A little stutter or awkward statement is not the end of the world - it's worse if you become more shy over it or avoid talking to people.

Oh, and as a shut in, I notice I can get a cast-away voice if I don't talk for so long. We should get a ventrillo, it's good practice.

This is a really interesting idea.
I have been struggling with my post for quite a while now. I have never before used a trip, or posted anywhere my posts could be tracked. It stresses me out to even think that someone on an anonymous imageboard might recognize me.
I kind of think of Madotsuki as another half of me, which is why I will be picking up her name for my trip in these threads. She's a hikikomori, like me, with only her dreams to occupy her. I live in my dream world. I go months without leaving my house, and I have no friends, online or off.
The worst part is, I'm not even lonely. This has just been my life for so many years, the idea of having friends just seems so foreign to me, it might not even be real. My dreams and my anime are my only reality.
Which, I am coming to realize, is pretty pathetic. My desire to change this life fluctuates from day to day. It ranges from "fuck that," to apathy, to mild curiosity in this thing called "socializing."

I have the usual problems

crowds freak me out, always think that I look goofy as fuck

it's been getting worse recently because half of the girls around here look like my ex

anything I can do to calm myself down when i'm out and about?

>>7288592
>I notice I can get a cast-away voice if I don't talk for so long
Yeah, my voice is something I'm pretty insecure about. I'm pretty bad at trying to articulate what I want to say too. I'm much better at writing my ideas than speaking them, so I prefer the type of communication that 4chan provides.

I just really hate talking. Even having to say one word is like a giant chore to me. It's pretty stupid, I know. Even back when I used to game I would get so flustered over having to speak in-game. I don't know if that's all just naturally how I am or a result of my lifestyle.

>>7288497
Still waiting for a response to this.

>>7288663
Do whatever you need to come to terms with or improve how you look so that you're satisfied. Most people are this way, and they do something about it.

About your girlfriend, I would say the best way to take care of this is to start thinking of other girls instead, only solution I know. Wish I could be more help.

>>7288451
>>7288451

Thanks, I think for now once I go back to school I'm going to talk to people in my classes. It seems like an easy enough way to break the ice. About my appearance, I'm not looking for like a girlfriend or anything so even though I'm fat I should at least have some friends, right? My appearance is really the only thing that's holding me back and I don't really know how to get over it.

Uhh, what's up here.

>I live in my dream world
That reminds me, does everybody here use day dreaming as a form of escapism? I know I do. I waste so much time doing it. In one way, it annoys me because I feel like I'm wasting so much time, but it's also one of the only ways for me to feel happy.

And what do you dream about? I often fantasize about myself with no flaws. I often think back about past experiences and think about how I would have gone through them if I were more charismatic, better looking, smarter, stronger, etc.

>>7288698
>college

A lot of users in here are summerfag or community college and can't help. You weren't ignored.

>>7288684
It's not natural, nobody is naturally supposed to be that bad at communicating, after all it's about getting what you want.

Practice and a better mentality should fix it. Some people just don't speak well either. Nothing worth being anxious over. Again, practice practice. We should get a vent.

I went afk for a second, reading up on posts now.

>>7288497
Smile and be nice to people. I'm sure everyone feels the same way you do, just be nice and things will happen.

>>7288383
Try talking to people in your classes. Maybe join some groups? I go to community college, I wish there were more groups for me to join. If you go to a bigger school I'm sure there are tons.

>>7288645
I don't think you're pathetic, I was exactly the same way. It is really nice to have some friends though, and you have to realize that you can't go on as a hikki forever. Try and include somethings you want to do with your life in your dreams for starters, maybe get some balls rolling in your head?

>>7288663
What you look like isn't everything. A lot of people are shallow, but they aren't the people you want in your life.

>>7288698
Sorry, never applied to college or else I'd advise.

>>7288708
>even though I'm overweight I should have friends right?

Everybody doing it right should have friends. That being said, it's all checks and balances, being fat is just another negative factor that you would do well
to lose.

>>7288731
>We should get a vent
I guess I'm open to that, if we can get it going.

>>7288729
I fantasize about living with mai waifu. In a world that would be just me and her, with no one else to deal with. I do not think about what it would be like if I was more successful with socializing. I purely fantasize about fictional characters. Recently, I have taken to fantasizing about talking to Chihaya from idolm@ster and making her smile.

Now that I think about it, coming to this thread was probably a bad idea. Why would I try to be more social and change my lifestyle? I don't want to. I'm happy where I am. Other people simply don't interest me. I have little desire to become more social.
Sure, other people think poorly of me, but who cares what they think? I should continue doing what makes me happy.

>>7288782
Somebody just needs to be a server. Most home computers should be able to do it.

A primary and a backup host would be good.

Quite honestly, it baffles me how all of you seem so willing to just come together and talk. A vent? I haven't used my voice to speak with someone in years. You people are clearly insane.

I had horrible anxiety for a few months, learned everything there is to know about it, and took away the fear of it. In a matter of a month I won over it, and now I only have very mild anxiety.

>>7288792
I did this (minus the queer Japanese stuff) before I lost it. I wouldn't advise living in a fantasy but you are certainly right, if you are happy with the way you are and aren't willing to change then you don't fit in here.

>>7288535

>You're primary issue is not social anxiety, seek help elsewhere, you need more than this.

I actually don't need any help. Just thought I'd share my anecdote. I enjoy staying inside for weeks at a time.

>>7288782
I'd love to use vent. I have skype installed also. >>7288814
Teach us your ways.

>>7288799
I don't really know much about that. I'll talk to my brother, I know he uses it from time to time. Maybe he'll be able to help out.

>>7288836
I can't host because I'm not going to portforward on a work network.

>>7288811
>You people are clearly insane.
>Crazy like a coconut
Guilty on all charges.

>>7288830
Well, I had a few weeks where I though I was going to die, because of heart attack like panic attacks, so I started to research and found out that it was anxiety. I researched further learning about the fight/flight response, that anxiety can't harm you in any way and on. I learned to not be scared, when I had a panic attack, I rather tried to be angry than scared. It still took me several weeks for my anxiety to fade away, and now I'm stuck with depersonalization/derealization and I still have depression. At one point I actually missed the anxiety, because of my lack of emotion. I also stopped drinking coffe and soda, which helped. Drink only water, and try to eat healthy, exercise. Learn how to meet your anxiety, and how to not be scared of it. It still returns from time to time, and I still get occasional chest pain, but it's nothing compared to before.

>>7288729

I love doing that. I probably spend the majority of my day just dreaming about random bullshit.

>>7288877
This all sounds like sound advice.

>>7288877
Embracing anger will make you want to hurt yourself or others. This is coming from somebody who is no longer clinically anxious or angry.

Do you guys ever happen to invalidate yourselves, like your efforts to meet other people are pathetic or unwanted, or that even something you're doing out of your own best interest is pathetic?

I've recovered somewhat from social anxiety. It's hard fucking work, but worth it.
My tips are as such:
online cbt. Change your negative thought patterns into more realistic onens. Moodgym and ecouch are good. It's going to be cheesy and you're going to want to quit, but stick at it.
be nicer to yourself. you can still have standards but you're probably not as awful as you think. And if you are, you have the power to change your awfulness, perceived or otherwise.
do some sort of exercise.
practice. Old or older people are good to practice on. Just talk to them. Customer service people are good, too. Ask people questions, embrace that you feel/sound awkward. It's ok to be or feel awkward, you need to push through it.

>like your efforts to meet other people are pathetic or unwanted
Yes. I always assume nobody will like me.

>something you're doing out of your own best interest is pathetic?
Not really. I mean, if it's in my own best interest then it inherently isn't pathetic, right?

How do I stop giving a shit ? I got an invitation to a party, and like always, I refuse because I'm just ashamed to go out. Chronic low self esteem is my main problem, I don't have that much problems communicating with other people if I have too. I just need to stop giving a shit about what others think of me, but how could I ever achieve that when I'm 5'6" and ugly as fuck. When there are people around me I always get a feeling like I'm subhuman.

Guess I'm late to the thread. My story/problems in a nutshell:
I've been shy basically all my life, and have had no really close friends, and in high school, really only acquaintances. Being an asspie, I never really cared thought much of it at the time. It was only after I started browsing /r9k/ that I realized what a load of shit my life was, and how bad it was going to get later on. That sent me into depression for about a year or so, but after I turned 18 I decided to turn things around before college. I've lost about 40 pounds (going from fatass to slightly chubby), and my depression has gotten much better, but since I never socialized much, I still can't fucking talk to people. I go to college orientation in about 2 weeks, basically my one chance to make friends, and I have no idea what I'm going to do.

This sounds like a nice idea though OP, I'll wait for the thread Thursday.

>>7289089
>5'6" and ugly as fuck
Let's say you and I were at a party, talking to each other, I wouldn't really care about either of those things. I have low self-esteem too, so I know how you feel and have the same problem, all I can really do is try and ensure you it's not that big a deal until you can realize it yourself fully and stop it from affecting you.

>>7289077
yeah probably just comparing myself to other people again

baaaaaw

>>7289089
>not giving a fuck
>how could I ever achieve
Become a cynic! It really works.

Sup guys. I'm glad to see this thread is pretty positive and honest instead of being all doom-and-gloom like the majority of /adv/. Hearing from you all makes me think that maybe I can sort out my problems and not be as much of an aspie fuck up.

I have a big issue with being extraordinarily stupid in social situations and only realizing how hard I derped after the fact. My first semester at college, I completely alienated my room mate and some others on the floor I lived on. I kept the door closed all the time without realizing that it made everyone else think I was out, and I tend to forget to make eye contact. I'd often zone out and stare at people without understanding that I made them uncomfortable.

I have a naturally quiet voice that will not change despite my efforts to improve it through public speaking and theater classes. People often don't hear me or need to ask me to repeat myself. There have been times when I thought I was talking to somebody who understood me only to have them walk away as though I had been silent.

I commute to campus these days, so the constant anxiety from living a pathetic existence in the dorms is out of the picture. I'm going to try to join some clubs this semester, but I'm worried that the same old issues will pop up and I won't be able to bond with anyone.

>>7288729
Same here. Been doing it since I was a kid. I find it easy to get lost in my own thoughts and lose awareness of the stuff around me which is a bad thing sometimes, but still it feels good, man.

>>7289223
You need some intuition. If you're smart enough to type that, then you're smart enough to avoid "derps" you just have to live in the moment.

Damn you guys are losers.

Well, this has been slightly uplifting. I was having a little bit of doubts when some of our announcement threads earlier were quite unsuccessful. I would love to stick around, but I have to go and do something. I'm guessing the thread will be dead by the time I get back. I'll be able to be on all Thursday night if a thread lasts long like this one has though.

See you all until then. And norf, I hope you'll be there too, some things I'd like to talk to you about, but like I said I got to go. Bye!

>>7289278
GTFO normalfag. Check your Facebook or something.