Tell them to back off. Insist. This is pretty easy stuff here anon. Your relationship is likely to grow less rocky the further apart you drift. FYI.

Truth be told, i can somewhat relate - allthough "only" emotionally neglecting parents. My silbling and i just had to move to the other side of the country so that they let us be - they are non the wiser till now. I'd suggest that you try the same, albeit in america it would be allright to only switch one a two states i guess.

File: 1353891593881.png-(29 KB, 383x556, 1353787316935.png)

>mfw I'm almost 21 my mother doesn't let me have a boyfriend, let alone a friend
>mfw I'm two years ahead and I already have a master's degree and a very well paid job
>mfw I'm still not allowed to move out
>mfw I secretly see a guy in a similar case than me

Are you Asian (or hald-Asian), OP?

>>11126894 (OP)
just be honest with them, tell them you're an adult and you don't appreciate and won't put up with any unsolicited advice/judgements/scoldings. Tell them you will give them a warning if they delve into a subject you wish not to discuss. If the warning doesn't work, conversations over, goodbye. No hard feelings you can call tomorrow and we will talk about the weather or whatever. don't get angry, and if they do just say you're sorry they feel that way. after a few difficult weeks/months of being hung up on/walked out on they will start to get the point of when to keep their mouths shut.

and they will decide which is more important to them, voicing their opinion or having you in their lives.

Believe it or not, 18 isn't that old. I'm sure your parents still have some wisdom to impart, and actually it's a safety thing to have someone to know where you are and if you made it home (if you're a woman of course). But it's common sense too. More crime happens between the hours of such and such, more road collisions from drunks, or whatever you want to dream up. But at some point, they are insulting your judgement, limited by your age as it is, of course, but it is going to cause you to avoid calls, turn off, and keep them out of the loop. Alcoholism brings another little problem to the family dynamic. It's called codependence. Even though you are removed from the home situation, you will be doing holidays, have a significant other to bring home or even, gasp, grandkids, so the more you know about that, the better your relationship can be. Healthy. Check out free counseling, sort of, by attending a couple Al-anon meetings and learning some tips from others who likely had bigger problems than you. The more you know!

If you need a little space, so you're not constantly on call, randomly, go ahead and schedule your calls to the family. Set aside sunday night, and ignore them from Friday until you place the call. Give them a special ringer and let it go to voice mail. Maybe you can call Mom on the road going into the office, but pretty much never in the evenings. If you check in by your own volition you don't end up stressed to answer every ring, or feel bad that you haven't called back yet. Subtle change that makes them feel lik eyoup're not ignoring them or arguing or defensive all the time.

This bestseller on boundaries might give you some insight on how to draw some communication lines in the sand. Ignore any reviews about it, go pick it up at the bookstore and thumb through it. You'll learn how to end conversations that bother you with family and how to get the kind you want. A lot of people have walked this walk.
http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Inspirio-Zondervan-Miniature-Editions/dp/0762421029/ref=sr_1_3?ie=U
TF8&qid=1353891235&sr=8-3&keywords=boundaries

You know what you do?
Cut them out of your life. Stop talking to them, don't visit them, treat them like strangers. It's more than your dad deserves.
Just because you came out of his balls doesn't mean you have to be friends with him.

>>11126939
OP here. I said 18+, I'm in my early 20s and almost done college. I've worked a job for a full year by myself. I am by all means an adult. I've lived by myself for ~3 years as well.

>>11126894 (OP)
Have you tried telling them the truth? That you're your own man now, despite being young you put your own food on your plate and you have your own roof over your head.

Some ppl become mature faster some will take their time. it's not like they have to controll you.

But don't cut them you never know what will happen.

>>11126928
>>mfw I'm still not allowed to move out
What the fuck am I reading?
>Are you Asian (or hald-Asian), OP?
Your problem is not being Asian. It's being a wuss. You have money, you have all the resources, nothing is stopping you.
You have to gain responsibility over your life by yourself. If you have over protective parents they won't hand it to you.

I.e. I live with my parents (I'm in Uni) but I have never asked them for money since I turned 18. Yet my 22 years old brother ask them to pay for the classes he has to retake..

>>11126946
Yes, but they have at least 20 years on you...years in the real world. So, in a way your clarification doesn't change much. One year of work experience just is minimal, you know?

It's not even about that. Some family dynamics are really tough. Don't expect that you will fix anything from one single conversation with them, or one single act of hanging up. It'll be a work in progress, kind of like training a dog. Reconditioning.

Sometimes, the simplest option is the best. Tell them to go fuck themselves, and that you'll see them at Christmas. Change your phone number in a pinch.

>>11126996
You can get an apartment, right? So just take it and that's it.
Some ppl has cool parents and they can live with their parents until the marriage. But your parents are not cool if I understand you.

You can actually have better relationship with parents after you move out. Now they feel like they have some power over you. If you live on your own- you're in many aspects equall.