As a kid whenever I said anything slightly negative about her she'd start crying and saying she was a horrible person and that everybody hated her and that she knew how terrible she was and would manipulate me into comforting her when I was trying to tell her how something she did hurt me. There were all these weird things she did that I forget but there were situations similar to that all the time. Like her pushing me up against a walla nd pinching my thighs until they bruised for having an attitude while my dad was on the phone.

I've never had any friends or told anybody about this so idk. I love my mom and all so I'm not trying to be like poor me or anything. It's just weird, like there were I guess some more extreme situations but I just forget them all.

thats most definitely abuse

im actually worried you dont straight up recognize it

Your mom sounds a lot like mine, but way worse. Yeah, it's abuse. Welcome to the next phase of your baggage: dealing with your newfound resentment!

>>10089974
Good spotting there.
Stages of greif, look them up.
It will certainly help you cope.
Hint:
>the resentment is the 'anger' stage

What are you really going for here advice-wise? It sounds like she was a bit physically abusive but not to the point where she damaged you and that she was mentally and emotionally abusive but you seem to have toughed it out. So yes, this was abuse, but you're fine and psycho bitch mom taught you how not to be a parent.

>>10089970
Well I thought it might be abuse when I was about 13, I posted about it on Yahoo! Answers. Somebody responded with something like "Oh no, that's perfectly normal! Every family's like that! Retard." So I felt really embarrassed and confused and just deleted my question and never told anybody until now.

Believe it or not, your mom was like my dad, possibly slightly better.

Depending on your age, if she hits you again, pull a knife and flash it at her, showing her you have it.
She will back off, and if not just kick her down and run, if she picked up a weapon, go for it.

At the age of 8 I started carrying a knife around for that reason, even though he was 300pounds, I knew how to use a knife and he couldn't touch me because of it.

I threatened I would slice his neck if he hit me, and he never did it again.

If it's still happening, defend you self.
And yes, she's lucky I wasn't your brother because I would of murdered her years ago.

>my mom is an awful human being who abused me
>but she's my mom and I love her

I've gotten enough of this shit from the last few girls I've dated. Just because a person gave you their genes doesn't mean you owe them eternal love and loyalty. The responsibility goes the other way, and if she abused you, she utterly failed in her responsibility to you.

If a stranger did those things to you, you'd curse their names and utterly cut them out of your life. But here you have a person with a positive duty to protect and support you who abuses you, which to my mind is far worse. And you say you love them? How fucked up can you get?

>>10090007
I want to analyze things and find out whether they are right or wrong. I just got my first boyfriend and I love my mom and don't want him to think she's a bad person or anything. She was under a lot of pressure. But I still feel so angry sometimes. As of right now I haven't told him anything about my family like that. I was a damaged teen, I never left my house. My mother ignored my depression and suicide attempts, making fun of depressed people to try and get me to snap out of it. I never left my house, never had any friends, no social skills and was hideous. Now I'm improving myself as a person but it still panics me and I feel so ashamed. If I told my boyfriend I feel like I'd just cut all contact with him permanently out of shame.

mother sounds severely mentally ill

>>10090037
It wasn't all bad. She has admitted she was wrong about certain situations and we've talked about it in a mature manner since I was 18. She realized she couldn't do anything to me then. She failed me in many ways but supported and cared for me a ton of the time. It's just the bad things come back to haunt me a couple times a year. Other times I don't think about it much.

>>10090039

As someone who's just found out how boyfriends work let me tell you that it's a good idea to firmly establish the relationship and then trickle in the crazy shit from your past while emphasizing that you have moved past it. It feels pretty good to have your significant other's support when it comes to bullshit that happened to you.

>just found out how boyfriends work
>giving advice

I know. Grain of salt and all. But you can trust him if it's a good relationship and get some support. Your mom is way more batshit crazy than I thought in >>10090007 I take all of that back. Excommunicate and move on to people who actually matter.

>>10090105
It's just that I haven't moved past it yet. I always think I have but then I break down. Like I was fine yesterday, and just posted this because I was reading an article about abuse and was wondering if these weird things from my childhood would classify as abuse. And now I just feel completely stuck and as far from having moved past it as I could.

My mother isn't a bad person. There were a lot of factors at play and she has done some amazing things for me throughout the years. My siblings blame her for absolutely everything and I don't want to be like that though.

He knows I didn't have any friends and what I looked like growing up. When I showed him I cried. He's really supportive and I don't want to scare him off, this is my first relationship and this is just something I need to work on myself. I'd just cry and be a mess if I shared it with him, and then leave. But I don't want to be hiding anything, I don't want to be secretive or anything either. I just don't want him disliking my mother or thinking I'm damaged goods. I don't know exactly how to word it but it feels confusing.

>>10091056

It's called being careful. Caution is good until you start breaking down and wanting someone to be there for you. If he's the real deal, he'll see past all that garbage and still care about you. People usually don't have parents do that kind of thing to them in first-world countries, and it's a nasty thing to talk about or reveal, but worse things have happened to other people and relationships have continued with those being revealed.

There's really not much else to say. Tell him and be done with it and start getting past it, or let it ferment and let your mother continue to change the way you behave even in the current day. I'll let you decide which is healthier.

>>10090156

>this person abused your girlfriend as a child
>"but I don't want my boyfriend to dislike them"

Yeah, my last girlfriend was sexually abused by her older brother and it turned her into a timid wreck of a human being. I've never thought of her brother without thinking of putting a bullet in him and dumping his body in the woods so he'd be torn apart by wild dogs. Trust me, if he cares about you at all, he's not going to be all that friendly with your mom.

>>10090216
what do you mean it's "nasty"?