OP confirmed for Falcone.

I am going to be dressing up for a party in just over a week and am not prepared. Because I have no money and my job does not pay for a month.

I feel so miserable right now, cgl. At first I thought I just felt sad because I didn't get to go to an event and see my friends, but it's been a couple of months now and I still feel sad. I'm so lonely. My life at the moment is just studying on the week days, work on the weekends. I don't get on with anyone in my class because I'm 6-7 years older than everyone else, so they avoid me. There is a class with mature students in, but for some reason I got put in the regular class. All my friends live far away from me and I can't go visit them because of work/studies. My boyfriend keeps promising to come visit me, but never books time off work. Lately he's not even been talking much to me, and I feel like he's losing interest in me. To be honest, if I was him, I would as well. It's so hard dealing with someone who is sad over nothing. Tonight I had a big fight with him over something really small and stupid, but for me it was the thing that pushed me over the edge since I'd been bottling up things for months (disappointed in him not visiting me, annoyed at him for getting bank charges on my account/making it overdrawn, angry that he didn't even speak to me after I told him my cat died etc.) We both acted really childishly, and said stupid things. I feel terrible about it, but I can't even appologise to him until he starts talking to me again. I don't know when that will be, since he can disappear for days. I don't want to have to wait around for him to come back though. I just want to go to an event again, I don't even care if I cosplay or not. I miss my friends. How can you even get post con depression when you didn't go to the con?

Sorry for the long rant, I just needed to get it off my chest. And yes, I know I'm pathetic.

Someone on my Facebook wants to do a "sexy dalek" cosplay. I told her "please don't" because they usually look terrible and that she would probably happier with something that would give her better attention. Someone decides to be a smartass and say "lol dey dunno wut a dalek iz". I know perfectly well what it is and state that, and state that "sexy" cosplays are looked down on, especially when something else could be done.

This filled me with such a significant amount of rage and I don't know why.

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>>6919586
I feel ya. I love so many dresses that are for sale now, but when I get the money they'll be gone. Looking at you drained cherry.

>>6919616
Are you sure they weren't agreeing with you, implying "sexy" and "dalek" don't belong in the same sentence?

>>6919616
Whores gonna whore. I had a ton of faith in a cosplay girl I knew from school, she went on and on about how cool hr next cosplay was. Get to con- with my little brother- to find out it's a no wig Misty cosplay with her damn shorts unbuttoned and half off. So much potential wasted.

>>6919564 (OP)
A friend of mine keeps complaining about how she doesn't get recognized for her cosplays, which are always closeted or badly sewn genderbends of whatever's popular on tumblr and I am getting so sick of it. Shut up, do something proper.

If you are fat or ugly and believe that you shouldn't have to lower your standards to find a significant other, please stop deluding yourself.

I'm losing my battle with agoraphobia again, I'm on a gigantic cocktail of pills that seem to do next to nothing, I sleep all day and night, I barely leave my bed, even with potassium supplements I am still dificient. I didn't go to this years local con because of all this. Forget the con though I can't even have a rewarding life right now. I always hope that I will soon get the courage to off myself. I'd rather do that than be a stress on the economy and get committed to a hospital again. I never had friends and a loving bf before so while I lay here and the world moves on it's just a matter of time before they leave me behind. I really hope I die. I'm so sick of taking so many pills and never getting better.

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I want to steal some aspects of this one girl's life.

She's cute, has all the dresses I want, and has the job I want. The weaboo in me desires to be her.

I am so jealous. I want to be living like her. I'm just so socially awkward and not the person I want to be.

I'm not in a bad position, but I would much rather look like Nana Kitade or Kyary Pamyu Pamyu than look like me. Fuck looking like me. I can look sexy if I really tried, but I just want to look cute. And I can't do that. Fuck.

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I feel like a worthless piece of shit when I think about how I'll be graduating college in a year. I'm so burned out from my semester that I haven't done any art since or anything for the matter since getting home a month ago. I work 40 hours a week and either spend my free time browsing the internet or shoveling mulch for my parents.
I can't find it in me to be creative at the moment and I hate myself for that. I spend my days at work daydreaming about possible things to draw or write but when I get home all I do is crash, and repeat. Plus it doesn't help that I'm away from all of my friends for 4 months until school starts up again.
I can't get myself out there, and my self loathing and depression cripples me in the summer months. I hate myself, I hate how much of a coward I am when it comes to self promotion, and I hate how I know what I need to do to get forward in my field, but I'm stuck working long ass shifts in an entry level job since I was 17 because my family is lower middle class. I have dreams and aspirations, but apparently those are only things that can be accomplished by people who have the funds to actually pursue them.

You know, basic young adult shit
Pretty sure this can apply to 99% of American college students.

I'm doing everything right diet and exercise-wise and my weight hasn't budged in a freaking week. I have spandex to wear in a couple of months and I'm getting worried. If I make a perfect costume but I still have thick thighs I'll feel like it was a waste.

>>6919673
yo, if this is a suicide plea for help, /cgl/ isn't really the best place to be doing this. Please go seek out official help

>>6919682
Don't feel bad, anon. My last year of college was a mix of stress and burn out. Went for an art degree and I was so fed up by the time I graduated that I didn't even draw for a year after I finished. It gets better, there is a rainbow at the end, just push through.

>>6919689
anon, would you mind telling me about your experience getting out of school?
I'm taking that you understand where I'm coming from, just being so burned out from school to make art.
What are you doing now, if you don't mind?

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>>6919673
I know you don't want to hear this, but that's life. Yours understandably sounds incredibly taxing, but don't feel ashamed for having agoraphobia. I had a mild case when I was younger, so I somewhat get where you're coming from.
Also same thing with the friends or bf, 21 year old super virgin here. I have a hard time keeping friends, and the ones that stay with me for more than a year, let alone longer are precious for me for those reason.
I struggled so hard as a child to make friends but it was hard when I couldn't even go to recess for years and had to miss school once a week specifically for counseling.
I know this isn't the answer you want to hear, but you'll only get better if you WANT to get better. You're going to have to look into the mirror and think about what you like about yourself. You're going to have to actively strive to achieving something, and that will be the push to better yourself, and try to live with your fear.
No matter what you're you and everyone has something that they are capable of contributing to society. Once you find it in you to get over the self loathing for a bit, you'll eventually sort things out. Gotta stay positive, buddy, in this horrible shithole of a world

I just feel stuck in a hole and I can't dig my way out. I need to make money but I can't get a job, I can't drive, and I don't have any education past high school and no job experience. I wanted to start up an Artist Alley table but I need money to start and to get money I need a job. It's an endless cycle of "to get this I need to get this but to get this I need to get this first".

I just keep digging the hole deeper instead of being able to get myself out.

>>6919713
child, go get your license. Also what did you want to go to college for?

>>6919713

I've noticed in the past few years even shitty retail jobs won't hire someone unless they have past experience, which sucks and is really stupid since it's entry-level anyway. I never had to worry about this since right when I turned 14 (minimum working age where I live), I answered phones at a family business-type thing. It wasn't even a business, per se; my dad made and sold collectible shit online and people would call for him and I would take messages. Apparently that's "customer service experience." If there's anything like that you can do, or volunteer work, you can always get experience that way.

Just to keep this /cgl/ related, I'm stressed as hell over my current costume. I've finally lost enough weight (not really on purpose, just college takes a lot out of me) to not be another fat Mami, but now I can't seem to find material for the skirt. The stupid tan/yellow/golden color she has is damn near impossible to find in anything that isn't satin.

I'm also irritated because I can't find a decent tutorial for making a corset to go with it. Mami's seems to be 6 panels, but I can only find stuff for many more panels, or unsuited to putting steel in.

Shit's just pissing me off right now.

>>6919725
Just cover the corset in six panels? Linen comes in a lot of colors, it acts like cotton but moreso though.

nobody wants to fuck you, you fat disgusting cunts. at best men will fuck you to raise their score and deny they had anything to do with you if you ever talked to their friends.
I hope for your own well being you pathetic sluts just die from diabeetus before turning 30 while still being single and try to make others lives miserable out of personal anger.

>>6919691
Haha I'm a high school English teacher now. And no I didn't got for art education, just studio art. Most everyone I know with a degree is doing work not related to it. It happens, and sometimes it's a good thing. With my burnout, I took it as a sign that I probably shouldn't go into graphic design for a living. I had my concentration in that area and one semester I had 6 hours studio in a row in the comp lab and realized I found it boring and tedious for such a long period. Then I realized, uh oh, it's just like how it'd be if I do this for a living. I still paint and write now, but they're things I do that may or not take off well enough for me to quit teaching. I'm content with what I'm doing for now. I did spend a year applying for art grad school only to decide it wasn't worth the debt and 3 years of my life, despite having a full ride scholarship. Then I just shitty odd jobs for a couple of years until I magically lucked into my teaching position. It was a grueling first few years, but worth it... and getting my Masters in English now. Masters programs are so much more enjoyable and a good sort of challenge. I adore college now but in that last couple of years as an undergrad, I couldn't have been farther from that sentiment. Good luck to you.

>>6919713
Don't count on artist alley as being a real revenue stream. I have a friend with a huge following who has quit doing regular jobs now and is 24/7 hitting up cons and making money and she can't even get her car fixed sometimes because she doesn't have the cash on hand. It's unreliable.

Are you unable to drive or lack a car? The longer you put off driving the more awkward it'll be to take lessons.

>>6919716
I really need to. I've taken driver's end and had driving experience but I've never once driven without completely freaking out. The last time I drove I was on the highway and nearly got run off the road by a merging semi so that was the sort of the last straw. I've been in several wrecks in my life so I hated driving even before I ever tried to drive. I wanted to go to college for my bachelor's in early childhood education but yeah, I honestly don't have a penny to my name.

>>6919724
I have done volunteer work but it's all child related so I'm sort of screwed for retail work. I'm thinking I could maybe see if anyone needs a babysitter in the area or something. It's not much but at least it's cash.

>>6919729
Is this towards PT?

>>6919739
That's depressing to hear. Guess it was unrealistic to think I could make decent money off conventions. And I'm unable to drive with no vehicle. Around here though that's not really uncommon though. We have city bus transit and a lot of taxi services.

>>6919742
The best thing I can tell you is work full time or as many part time jobs as you can, save up your money, apply to community college, and go from there.

>>6919742

Not to press the issue, but if you ever answered the phones/talked with parents of kids you cared for, it's a little bit of customer service since you have to put on a happy face and talk with strangers.

>>6919731
This is what I'm afraid of happening. I love art (illustration) but there's so much I know I'd like to do with my life, and to do so I'd have to move out of my house and I guess venture to a city. But I'm so obligated to my family that it actually stunts me be in artistically, or socially. It's really weird, but I guess I just need to move on. Who knows, I have one year left, and I like to believe that all bad things in life like to eventually sort themselves out.

>>6919742
>>6919767
What this person said. Answering phones is customer service skills, and during the summer at least there are plenty of summer programs/camps/businesses that are looking for part timers to act as "secretaries" and that entails answering phones.

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I went and saw a doctor(which ended up costing me $2,500 because the stupid section I had to go to is in the hospital's ER, so it was treated as an ER visit. My boss cut my hours down to pretty much nothing, told me I was a liability at work, and I need to see a doctor and get treated before I go back to work. The problem was, the doctor I saw only told me "Yep, you're X, call this number" and that was it. No medication, no nothing to get me back to work. The phone numbers I have been calling have either told me "I don't know why they told you to cal mel, call this one instead" or just got a message to call "x" number.

The problem is, my company didn't offer health insurance, we couldn't afford to put me on my husband's health insurance. I'm running ragged trying to get a hold of anybody who can get me some kind of insurance or financial aid.

At this point, I might as well be unemployeed so I'm hunting for a new job. Because we can't afford all the bills on my husband's paycheck alone.

So yeah. Can't go back to work. Don't have money to pay for a doctor, or even the 2.5K hospital bill, and my husband can't afford to cover all our bills, let alone pay for my hospital visit.

I want to join my local lolita comm but I don't know how to go about any of it (how to find them, how to ask, whatever). I'm new to lolita so I've never gone though this before. I just wear my dresses by myself in my apartment :(

>>6919767
>>6919774
Hadn't thought of it that way. Thank you for the help.

>>6919764
Well, I'll try my best. Around here teachers don't get paid much (but again it's the same everywhere) but it's good to have a degree.

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I'm a weirdo 25yo who never dated. I should just get cats.

>>6919645
My friend is like this but the crossdressing version.

>>6919742
i would try driving a route so you get comfortable, that has some city, some country road and some faster (~60mph) stretches, i don't like the highway either.

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I'll bite.

I'm really, really, really frustrated with how my weight loss is going right now. I had a surgery a few weeks ago that didn't allow me to eat anything solid for about a week and a half and I lost a pound a day. I dropped I think around 12-14 pounds in that period, but now it's hit a plateau. I'm counting calories, drinking only water, and trying to get out and exercise but nothing is showing a significant budge.

Maybe I'm just being impatient. Maybe I am technically losing weight but it's just not noticeable. All I know is it makes me feel really angry and bitchy, I think I'm going to punch the next faggot that comes up to me and says "hurrrffadurff weight loss ish easeh tho XD" Holy shit.

I've been feeling pretty bummed out lately.

The other day I was out with my sister after going to the gym and while driving we passed a Gamestop where some teenagers were hanging outside of a little before its opening time. She saw them and commented that I used to be like that and she was happy I didn't act that way anymore, that it was weird. I can't recall being that way and it made me feel like shit later in the day because I haven't talked to many of my high school friends since graduation and some of the most pleasant times I ever had was playing or discussing videogames with them, either at school or our home get-togethers.

Plus she and her friends comment about how much more outgoing I am compared to how I used to be, but it's not that way at all. I pretty much don't have any friends and outside of work either stay at home by myself or hang out with my sister. I can barely stand any of the things she's interested in but I just do it for the sake of...I don't even know, to hide my real interests I guess. I feel like I'm two different people sometimes.

>>6919729
>try to make others lives miserable out of personal anger
Oh I get it, you're being ironic.

>>6919879
eating just a little bit more than usual, or fasting(not recommended) will break the plateau.
source: ex anorexic, lowest weight 90 lbs.
(please don't solicit advice after this but anon seemed like a responsible, healthy person who just needed a pointer.)

>>6919903
Thank you, I'll try the fasting and see if that helps.

School is dragging me down and I don't have any motivation for anything anymore, including cosplay. I regret taking summer courses. I'm also stuck in a major that I hate and everything I actually want to do scares me because it doesn't look very stable.

>>6919906
same anon
drink -plenty- of water, and please break it if you feel dizzy when you stand or start to black out.
good luck, and stay safe

I "relapsed". Which only really means that I'm obsessing over my weight and food all day long, but I can't stop eating. I quite literally lose control of myself when I do eat, my mind will scream "DON'T" but I won't be able to stop myself.
I gained 20 pounds these past few months and only my shirred dresses fit me now. I haven't worn lolita since this started because I'm so scared of stretching everything.

It hurts so fucking bad, because it's the same emotional pain I felt back when my ED was at its worst, exact same intensity (which is REAL FUCKING BAD) except this time I don't even get the tiny satisfaction and rush that not eating gave me. I just want to wear lolita and feel pretty again, but I just can't.

Kicked out of my college for a year for low grades.

Family sucks. Refuses to take responsibility for certain things (borrowing money from me, giving me ultimatums regarding my major and what classes they want me to take). Long story short, each semester, they refused to let me pick my own classes and forced me to take what they wanted me to take, even if it was too hard or something I was bad at, and now wonder why I got low grades and got kicked out.

Oh, and they want to send me to China to teach English, even though I don't speak Chinese or have any teaching experience.

Even though the ticket (round trip) would be around $6000, they refuse to help with the $3000 I needed for summer school and community college, which would help me get back into college.

I'm a bit upset because a few weeks ago, right before A-kon, one of my friends confessed that he really liked me.

>We'd both just been through breakups, each a bit nasty in their own right so we decided we'd just take it slow and sort of 'date but not date' Y'know?
>We fooled around a bit an I actually felt comfortable with him. (I've never been super comfortable with physical contact)
>I was finally allowing myself to really start liking him.
>today he messaged me and said that he valued friendship too much to pursue the relationship.
>mfw the friendship pact my Ouran group made when we formed ruined my chance at a happy relationship.

>>6919933

Oh, and:

* My mom stole $35,000 from me and still, 2 years later, is refusing to give it back.
* My best friend at college tried to kill herself, I told her parents, who made her go to therapy, and it all snowballed and she got told to leave the college for a year too. She doesn't talk to me anymore.
* My mom keeps emailing my dad (they're divorced, he's never been in my life or wanted to be, which is fine!), my grandparents, and my dean every time she gets pissed off at me. It's gotten to the point where my college told her to leave them the fuck alone.
* My mom's convinced I'm a schizophrenic (I'm not) and wants me to be put on meds, even though last time, it made me gain 80 lbs in less than a year. Every time I get checked out, I'm told I'm fine except depression, which she says "isn't real". But apparently, her delusions about me having schizophrenia are totally valid!

>>6919940
Your mom sounds like she needs meds Anon. I'm sending you good vibes and hope things improve for you.

>>6919940

woah where did you get $35,000 from?

>>6919947

Settlement as a kid. I broke my leg, my mom sued, I was supposed to get it at 18, she made me sign it away as soon as I turned 18 (I didn't know I could take it and run, she said she could sue, tell them I was crazy, etc.) but I'm 20 now and realize that was fucked up.

Yeah, she paid to sue, but the money wasn't hers to touch.

>>6919946

Here's hoping.

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>>6919936
>mfw I have no face.

>>6919933
>Oh, and they want to send me to China to teach English, even though I don't speak Chinese or have any teaching experience.
Ugh, I'm surprised my ex-husband hasn't tried that yet, he would always try to rope me into his get-rich-quick schemes that wouldn't get off the ground or would fall through.
>I'm going to learn to draw and get rich off commissions!
>let's join the military!
>let's make chainmail!
>I bet you could become a cam girl!
>let's open an e commerce website!
>let's flip houses!
>let's make jewelry for a shitty Internet scam!
>let's grow medical marijuana!
>I'm going to buy an Ouya and become an indie game dev, you should get one too!
>I bought a fast computer for harvesting bitcoins, I'll let you know how it goes!
He's ambitious enough, but shit stupid.

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>1/2
>Bare with me cgl. I'd feel better if I could articulate my problem rather than greentext this shit.

My only best friend in college (and just happens to be my cosplay buddy) has decided to leave this apartment because our other roommates (one of them especially) chewed her out over some stupid bullshit, mainly because they've been keeping pets that we aren't even allowed to have.

These pets include two mice and a wild rabbit. The mice stink and the other roommate is very attached to the damn rabbit. I don't support PETA because they're fucking nuts, but I will agree with them on that a wild rabbit needs to be back in its natural habitat instead of holed up in a cage to be fed and let out every so often, let alone be held by a human being. They're not meant to be held because it's against their nature and they have delicate backs. It's bad enough that for a while a stray cat found its way into our apartment. I'm glad we got rid of that littleshit because its shit was stinking up the bathroom and I felt like hurling every time I have to use it (also, it yowled every time it was left alone or if we're heading to the kitchen).

>>6919978

ohmygod he sounds really dumb. I hate people like that. There is no way to """beat the system"""

>>6919940
I think your mum just wants to ruin your life, mate. Do whatever you can to get outta there. Do shit in secret, make progress somehow. Make a plan to escape. We'll be rooting for ya anon.

I'll keep this entirely cosplay related:

I'm really nervous about making my first full costumes. My friends at college used to do all the sewing for me, so I'm used to quality cosplay, but now that I've graduated and gone home, I have to do everything on my own. (At school, I was props, jewelry, wigs, hand sewing, ect. girl.) I know not to expect perfection right away, but I'm really worried that I'm going to beat myself up about beginner mistakes. So... I'm stressing over the idea that I'm going to be stressed, and it's preventing me from getting started.

Fairly minor concern, but bleh. Has added to my stress level.

>>6919995
Just spend a day fucking up. Make mistakes, even if they are so basic. Then see what you did, and learn why you did them. But practice on scrap fabric. And make a mockup before you do the real thing.

>>6919995
Knowing good from bad is half of the battle, so you sound like you're well underway. De-stress, grab some muslin and make mock ups of everything. After you've got stuff down on the muslin cut into your good material.

Sometimes I feel like sewing is half fucking up and figuring out how to fix it. This seems doubly true for cosplay when you don't have an exact pattern, and most of the time you have to make a best guess of where seams go because of goddamn lazy animators. /rant

>>6919978

>wants you to become a camgirl
>not understanding that shit would get everywhere
>not understanding that there's not getting out of the adult industry the way you can get out of industries
>not understanding it leaves a black mark on you wherever you apply to because they will eventually find out you did porn
>not getting that with porn, it's all in, balls to the walls, or a waste of time

>>6919993

I'm already out, I was at college and relying on it but I got a shit grade in a class she made me take last semester so I'm not going to be allowed back unless I get in again when I reply in November.

>>6919683
Have patience anon, weight don't fluctuate that fast. If it goes the same for another week, maybe you need to it a bit less/more exercise

>>6919957
What a bitch. Sue her back for your money.

>>6920037

With what lawyer? With what money of my own?

2/? (I lied)
>>6919984
I rented this place, looking forward to getting out of my last apartment because of the assholes I was living with, and the obnoxious neighbors that came with it. I thought it would be fun to live with people I actually know. Little did I know, the two girls living with me now aren't the most ideal ideal roomates, and this apartment is kind of worse than my last one. As much as I enjoy solitude and relative quiet, this apartment is right next to the train station, so I have to hear the damn thing honk its horn whenever it rolls through. The kitchen is soooo tiny and I'm a muthafuckin chef. I've seen galley styled kitchens with more counter-space (I miss the last apt's kitchen space - so perfect for beerpong if my roommates hadn't pre-gamed on that poor kitchen island). It gets super hot too.

>Current bedroom shares the wall of the entrance into the unit - people like to slam doors and walk like elephants up or down the stairs.
>The fucktard upstairs likes to play heavy metal without headphones after midnight
>Each unit has one coin-operated laundry machine; each apartment holds 22 people. Do the math

Going back to the pets: I brought shit like art supplies and coffee table books to help make the apt more welcoming, but I gave up after knowing that the stuff has to be cleared off for the mice to run around on (Yes, these furrycunts are let out every so often and shit all over the nice coffee table that came with the apartment), or used to block the rabbit from certain parts of the apartment when let out to run around. I seriously hope that these furfags are gone by the start of the Fall semester because ain't nobody got time fo dat, especially since everyone is a senior and 3/4 of us are theatre students. I fucking hope I don't get cast into a show with my roommate. I don't even like the play she wants to be in (srsly, Dancing with Lughnasa is BORING AS FUCK).

/derailing

>>6920027

not to rain on your parade, but I did camming for 2 years after college (was smart enough to use a studio that is professionally incorporated as something other than a cam studio, of course, so any background checks have me as a "customer service independent contractor") and I'm now a nurse. I even know a girl who got hired at a daycare where they knew exactly what she used to do. Things ain't what they used to be, just saying.

sage for not really relevant

>>6920050

sage for forgetting to sage

>>6920052

No, thanks. It's good to have both sides of the story.

I've never worked as a cam girl because I've seen 4chan dox people and assumed it came back to bite those women in the ass eventually. If it's safer now and harder to get doxxed, that's great.

>>6920050

Seconded. Especially if you go to college/tech school after you cam and you have other shitty retail on your resume, you can leave it out entirely. I have friends who were literally in actual porn films and as long as you look different, no where really cares unless you want to go into politics or become a teacher.

>>6919992
I don't even think that's his motivation, he just hears of some way some random schmucks have made some money and goes "hey, I could do that".
>>6920027
I didn't even have to think that far ahead to say "ha ha, no". I am not camgirl material. But I'm Asian so that makes me hot, right? What a maroon.

>>6920058

No problem. The ones that get doxxed, in my experience, aren't usually professionals; it's underage whores who do it for specific people to get quick money/attention or post on 4chan in the first place. If people know it's your actual job, they aren't going to be like HURR HURR I'M GONNA TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW BLACKMAIL because they assume it's common knowledge and won't bother you. And I know the site I worked with had settings where you could disallow people to see you existed on the site based on where they lived/where the incoming traffic was from. But, then again, it was a nice site, not those weird pop-ups that come up when you're watching porn and the girl's fucking herself for free or whatever.

>It was actually a nice part of my life and I don't regret it, surprisingly enough

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3/? (I hope that this is the last post)

Anyway. I went back to check on a group message among my current roommates and my friend who is leaving. Both girls chewed out my friend for being "immature" and self-entitled. Even if I weren't close to my friend, I'd still say that the other two are being immature based on how everything was articulated. They basically made her feel very un-welcomed in spite of pressuring her to live together (they roped me into it too; I didn't have time to go apt. hunting).

Being my last year in college, I want to go all out and be able to throw parties every once in a while, but rabbitgirl is all defensive about how she doesn't want drunk people scratching her expensive piano. I've been to parties with thousand dollar flat screen tvs and no one gets near that thing.

Right now, both girls are aware that I'm unhappy about all this drama and that I don't want to be around them as much as possible. God knows how long I'll be able to keep my grudge. I'm not sure how I feel about the new-sub-leaser (she's staying all year round). I know who she is and we're in the same dept., but I don't know if I'm going to be able to friends with her because every time we hang out, she comes off as argumentative and a bit of a know-it-all. She's close friends with a mutual male friend (of all of us in the apt). He's a cool dude, but I wish that he'd stop over staying his visits.

Man. I should have rented a house. I don't care if it's more expensive than what I'm currently paying for. At least I don't have to deal with shitastic realty agencies knocking on our door without notice. I really hate dealing with their unexpected visits. It's not fun to scramble to hide the fucking cages because there's a fee of $300/pet. I'm a poor college student, and so are they. They need to get their fucking priorities straight.

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>3yr gf is leaving to another country for school in less then two months for probably two years, Barely get to see her for long periods of time now because her mom hates me/us.
>lost second closest friend to her backstabbing me
>Most friends like what I don't so I don't even know who to hang with anymore
>has no interest in drawing like I used to be
>won't go to cons at all because I've been hating them recently
> Registered for fall classes today, but it made me really sad knowing my girl won't be at the same college I am now.
>afraid I'm going to fail said classes because It's going to be really stressful for the first month or two of her gone
I have no idea what I'm going to do for two years...it's a really...really long time. I love her so much and I'm saving up to go be with her in the summer, but still, I'm really afraid of being alone.

Maybe I should turn off my sad music playlist now.

>I need new friends

>>6920078
Find new hobbies. Join new clubs. Ger active. Make a schedule for communicating with your gf.

>>6920017
>>6920026

Thanks for the support and tips. I forgot about making mockups -- I'll have to go back to the fabric store and pick some up tomorrow.

>>6919936
friendship pact...?

>>6919785
>EGL community on livejournal
>Lefthand tab
>Other communities
>Scroll to Regional communties

Most of them should have a link to the facebook communities which tend to be more active. Posting on lj there wouldn't hurt though. Some people post here for community requests too.

>>6920093
Not a problem, all you seem to need is a pit of a push in the right direction!

One more tip is that you should try and find material of a similar weight and drape for mock ups. Cotton solids are usually fairly cheap, and come in a variety of weights, including VERY solid cotton duck.

>>6919912
What major are you in?

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>>6920095
Okay so basically we formed a cosplay group, and in order to keep it from falling apart we all had to promise not to date each other. Friendzone pact to keep us from ruining the group dynamic.

>>6920107
Accounting. I like the math and balancing numbers but I hate all the other business courses involved in trying to achieve this degree.

>>6920110
I'm having flashbacks to some scenes from Ouran. Now I want to reread it.

Fucking pissed that when I started out in lolita with $600 to blow at a time I bought a ton of more inexpensive things and now I'm trying to sell off basically everything at a loss as a poorfag to get some actual quality garments. WHY, ME.

>>6920076
why didn't you guys just tell that girl to fucking get rid of her pets, or kick her ass to the curb?
Seriously, it's not that difficult to get someone booted from an apartment.

>>6920115
What would you rather do? Is it too late to switch majors, or are you fucked?

>>6920115
Haha. I was the opposite when I was a business major. Fortunately, you shouldn't have to take as much business classes as I would have had to take. When I was a business major, I only needed to take two accounting courses.

You could minor in something more math related. Sure, it would take longer to graduate, but at least you will be doing something you love.

>>6920073

MFC? I was considering joining actually (I'm the person you replied to) but then I realized I wasn't pretty enough.

>>6920115
Not stable? My friends with Accounting degrees are some of my only friends who got jobs based on their major. Like all of them are accountants making good money.

>>6920121
Dude, I've been telling them to get rid of them for ages. I don't understand why they're so attached to the furfags. Don't worry, I'll make sure that they're gone. I just need to let off steam.

Even without the pets, I'm still bummed about my best friend finding a different place to stay. I'm not willing to sublease because it was an annoying process when I did it and my folks pay for this place until I graduate. I'd probably going to stay over at my friend's place pretty often. I stayed over at other friends' places a lot when I subleased last semester. I hope her new place is cool about throwing parties, especially when they involve theatre people. It gets pretty nuts when they're all together.

>>6919564 (OP)
Money. Money. Money. Can't even afford brand let alone basic clothing right now. I've been applying everywhere but my previous job experience isn't in retail/etc sectors and I can't find similar work to what I did before where I'm living. Life sucks

>I can cook a 4 course meal
>Can't put together a damn sandwich the way corporate says it needs to be put together

I'm surprised that my workplace never gave me a menu to memorize. I can see why most people dislike working in restaurants.

On a more related note, I hate stressing out about money and it's what I've been doing for a good while now. I know it's my last year in college and I ought to make the most of it, but man, I can't wait to get a big kid job. I miss going to conventions and sparing money for cosplay and lolita. My wishlist is haunting me. Hell, I miss being ok with eating out.

>>6920139
"The things I actually want to do aren't stable" is what I meant. I know accounting is stable. It's one of the biggest reasons I went into it.
>>6920129
I'm still wading through the core business stuff so it feels like there's a shit ton still waiting for me to complete them. Also I may have been a bit misleading with saying I like math. I like the easy math in accounting. Anything beyond calculus will most likely fly over my head.

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>>6920144
Ha, you posted at the same time as I did. Let's share feels.

>>6920152
Huh. Where are you in college? I generally see this kind of attitude among freshmen and sophomores because they have to go through the boring/neverending amount of gen ed. courses.

I don't know about your school of business program, but how about finances? Similar, but the difference is that it's more about managing money. I hope your adviser is more helpful than mine because it's something you should talk to him/her about.

>>6920161
Actually, if this isn't an option, I have an idea if you haven't done it already: have you thought about tutoring people? You might be able to get money from this and you're doing something you like.

My gf's parents are letting two dogs with cancer rot to death, because they refuse to get treatment for them or have them put down.

My gf herself is working her ass off trying to get work, but pickings are slim for someone with no previous experience.

>>6920161
Upcoming junior actually. I enjoyed my gen ed courses far more compared to what I am doing now. I guess you can say I am taking the gen ed version of business right now and it's hellish for me. I have heard rumors that I'm still in my final stages of weed out courses so that could be why I hate everything but it's such a lame excuse for whining about how I don't like X and Y. Funny you should suggest finance though. Currently struggling my ass off for it at the moment. I guess if I can't state how many brokers established the NYSE under the buttonwood tree I'm not fit for a decent grade.
>>6920164
I've also never tutored people before. How does this relate to me doing something I like? I guess I do like helping people out with things but I'm not quite confident in any subject to be actively helping people for profit

>>6920192
Refuse or can't afford?
I... I had a similar problem with my dog, my mother didn't want her to be put down either, but we couldn't afford treatment no matter which vet we went to until one of them finally told us the truth and said she was in too deep to even do treatment, and this was within a week of visits.

>>6920203
I meant being a tutor at school. Some programs offer work study for this sort of thing. Since I can't think of anything, you might as well talk to an academic adviser or just suck up with the business courses. I'm not going to lie, I have had the same feelings about taking those kinds of business classes too. I was bored out of my mind with sitting on my ass through those lectures. I like learning on my feet (that is a weird expression).

>>6920209

Refuse. She'd rather pretend nothing's wrong. One of the dogs has a tumor on his leg so large that he can't walk, but according to gf's ma, it'll 'heal right up.'

>>6920223
Oh dear god. Excuse me, I'm crying a bit right now because this horrifies me beyond words.

i have this friend and i love her to death, but anytime the topic off self harm comes up, she turns into this uppity snobby bitch. if she finds out that you've ever self harmed, she'll do everything to try and make you feel ashamed/embarrassed. i admit that i used to cut, but i haven't done it in many years and most of my scars aren't super visible. one day though, she happened to see them and immediately grabbed my arm and started pointing them out (we were in public btw.) i explained to her that they were all very old scars, but that really didn't make any difference to her. anytime this shit comes up, she always goes off about how she's better than/above anyone who has ever harmed themselves.

>>6919564 (OP)
>feel left out of con experience because I'm always alone
>can't start a group with current friends because they don't exist
>can't get new friends because awkward so I never approach, also never get approached unless I'm in costume and it's only about my costume
>Even if I did get friends I'm insecure and paranoid, can't let anyone get close and I have huge boundaries, so I would never keep in touch or meet up outside of cons
>the only time I can feel like I can be open with someone is if I'm interested in them romantically
>actually getting a girlfriend is more or less impossible
>even if I do they wouldn't be physically attracted to me so there'd be no actual intimacy, so there's no point anyway
>because I'm so insecure and paranoid I wouldn't tell a therapist this stuff
>things that need changing prevent me from getting help to change them
>repeating cycle of doom that ensures that I'm forever alone
It's getting to the point where I'm only going to panels and the game room because those are the only things that don't trigger my depression when I remember them.

>>6920234
Wow...

Just don't let her get to you. Apathy hurts a bitch more than anything.

>>6920234
How much of a bitch does one even have to be, goddamn.

>>6920234
I would still if it it was less socially abhorrent. I like the way it feels, and bleeds and scars. So many people freak out about cutting but some consider it a mod/ art-form.

Bleegghhh reading everyone elses responses makes me feel better, like I'm not the only one struggling..

I'm 23 (soon to be 24), and after 6 years going to my community college I still have yet to receive a degree because I just can't decide on a major
(I've tried computer science, art, teaching, accounting) Half don't guarantee a job and the other half require a Master Degree in the least.. while all of them still require a Bachelors and not an AA.. I'm only 4 classes away from said AA but my GPA is only a 2.4... none of my state colleges will accept me (plus I've been going for free this entire time thanks to scholarships and pell grants)
So I've decided to stop.. and take a break for this semester and maybe even the year..

Why 6 years? I've been working full time since I graduated in 2007.. I'm currently a keyholder and work from open to close at a mom and pop retail store in a historic port town. My pay is a decent $10/hr but there is no way for me to get a raise or promotion so I'm slowly being forced to look for a new job so I can finally move out of my Mom's house that we rent together. Not to mention rent anywhere within 30 minutes is $1200/mo at least!!

Now last year I was involved in a car accident and sustained a herniated disc in the C4/C5.. (6 months of physical therapy is all I could afford and I still have serious neck and shoulder pain)
Although I finally resolved my settlement and received a nice sum of money to place into a retirement fund/savings for the future it is nowhere near enough to live off of.

Now comes the worst.. during the MRI on my neck they found a 6mm nodule on my thyroid... I don't have health insurance and the only way to find out if it is cancerous or not is by a biopsy which I've been told can run up to $10k.. So I've been sitting on this thought for the past year with no idea if I'm slowly dying or what.

to be continued..

>>6920299
I reached the limit.. lol ok ok now this is what I'm currently stressing about since con season has started..

Not to mention my boyfriend of 6 years wants to move to Maine of all places and I'm like, WTF there are no jobs up there, how are we going to survive..

He also is growing tired of conventions which we have been attending since we started dating.. but I still love the atmosphere and I love to sew which is my only motivation now a days.. I don't want to attend by myself, nor do I want to force him to do something he doesn't enjoy.. but I don't have many friends and none that enjoy anime or cons for that matter..

Also I'm having a hard time deciding on costumes for the big con this summer. I have 3 I really want to do (with one I know won't be recognized) but I just found another one that I'm in love with and I know a lot of people will enjoy also but when the heck will I have time to wear it and I don't want to wait until next year to debut it! sooo bleeeeggghhh

I hate the SF bay area. Massively. I'm unhappy because everyone here is an asshole including me. Girlfriend doesn't relate to me. Trying to make music, can't. I keep having dreams about people that have left me.

>>6919673
pills won't make you feel better. they can only assist what you need to do on your own. only leaving the house and getting used to society will. agoraphobia is a vicious because the less you subject yourself to other people the worse it gets.

you need to build a social callus. its hard at first but the more you deal with people the less painful and scary it is, and in a couple years you won't give a fuck.

I hate being sober and think about drugs and getting high pretty much every second of my life. I just want to give in and get high again.

>>6920336

how long you been sober?
my friend is on a year probation for paraphernalia and had to quit smoking.. He's been saying as soon as October comes he is smoking an ounce (silly I know but that's how bad he wants to) but he's made such strides and stay sober for so long that it might be better for him to not start again, like get a better job besides a grocery store... since every place drug tests now

>>6920345
A month now. The last time I was sober I was hospitalized was 2 years ago. And before then it was when I was 18. So a good 5 years of drug abuse. I know I can't substain it. It can already tell my brain is turning to mush. Plus I have a constant tremor that makes it difficult to work on detailed parts of my cosplay.

I just got a call from my sister that my dog has passed away...Hes in Doggy heaven....Getting...Bitches..

But srsly, this is a pretty crummy night.

My boyfriens lives in Canada, I live in California. He was going to move out to Cali in July. He starts getting stressed about money and the move and starts emotionally abusing me. I can't handle it any more. I break it off. He gets desparate. Says he's sorry and that he sees he's hurt me and that he's going to try harder to be better for me.
Hesitate.
He says he's going to visit the next day. Books a last minute flight. His mom goes apeshit because I told him no and he's coming anyway. She tells authorities that he's coming to rape me, murder me, and then wait for my dad to get home so that he'll kill him.

Banned from US.

.........


Oh.

>>6920384
Holy fuck.

>>6920387
What do I do, anon?

>>6920137

No, not MFC...I forgot what it was called (I didn't sign up with a site directly, I went with a studio that gave me a PO box at their office for gifts and shit). I do know that on MFC people can see you naked for free and you rely on tips, not getting paid per minute you're naked so I was never interested. And it's mostly charisma/sales, but it's really easy because if guys are on camsites they're already gonna buy someone anyway (although I'm sure you're pretty).

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A guy who I see as my best friend and whom I have feelings for well I might not ever see him again. I met him a year ago when I first started my current job. We became fast friends and we both developed feelings for each other. We started fooling around and hanging out quite a bit. I then found out that he has a girlfriend and he's been with her for 7 years. He never wants to get married or have kids though. He's ok with long term relationships. We kind of stayed friends with benefits and I started seeing him more as the brother type. We're good friends but recently I found out he might be moving and if he does there's a good chance I might never see him again. We could keep in touch but long distance friendships/etc. have a good chance of not working out and well his girlfriend would be moving with him. I just don't want to see him go because even with the fling we had, he helped me out in a troubling time and has been a solid foundation. I still have feelings for him but I'm trying to make them go away because I know they will never truly be reciprocated. He told me so himself because he's with his girlfriend. I'm just so conflicted...

>>6920393
No, no not you, just the entire situation. My jaw hit the floor pretty fast.

Sorry you had to deal with him being such an ass though.

I graduated in December, but the university fucked up my degree. I spent the next four months commuting two hours to campus (as I no longer had a place) to argue with different boards until they finally pulled their heads out of their asses and awarded me the proper piece of paper. While all this was going on, I really wasn't able to apply to jobs in my field, as I couldn't claim a degree. All the temp. positions I applied for never responded.

Now, back in November, my grandma broke her hip and was in rehab until the day I graduated. She lives alone and used to maintain a huge yard by herself. Due to the splintering of her bones, she wasn't able to do many everyday tasks for a few months. So in addition to commuting to campus, I also played caretaker. By the time I got my diploma both my grandma and mother were relying heavily upon my assistance.

I was planning on going to a small con this weekend. I haven't been to one in a couple years due to school and I've been working on a costume I knew I would have fun in, even though I was going by myself. My mom even needled me to finish it so I could go have fun finally. Except, a great crisis arose with my grandma, and I have to drive her across the state, you guessed it, this weekend to resolve it. This was the last con of season within a ten hour drive.

I want to get out of here and get a job I love (or at least don't dread going to). My degree isn't in the most feasible of fields though there are quite a few positions through the government. However, there is no say in where they would place me and most the work only runs until Sept/Oct. I could very probably be unemployed four months of the year in a city I'm not able to afford. I'm really having trouble finding anything other than gov't work that I'm qualified for. Where do people advertise obscure, full time positions?

Thanks for a place to whine /cgl/. There's plenty more I can bitch about, but I'm just making myself miserable.

My girlfriend is basically everything I'm not (smart, nice, outgoing, friendly, has goals, etc) and I feel like I'm bringing her down. She's never once shown any disdain towards our relationship and we're both really sure we want to spend our lives together, but I still just feel so guilty for being useless. I'm an idiot who buckles under stress so I dropped out of college less than 2 years in (not even considered a sophomore and I'm 21), and I can't afford to go back. Can't even find a job cleaning tables or picking up garbage because of the area I live in and the whole "no experience no job" endless cycle. I'm worried that when we're together (it's long distance, we've known eachother for years but just started dating a year and a half ago and I might be moving in with her within the next year) I won't be able to help pull my own weight. I should be able to find a job because she lives in a bigger city than I do, but I've got no chance at a real career while she's almost 3 years younger than me and is already past me in college. The weird part is that I don't think she'l leave me, and she's said before she doesn't care, and that she doesn't mind taking care of me but basically I still feel like a huge fucking burden.

>>6920423
I work as a doctor and my current partner has been on 5 different anti-depressants, dropped out of his degree, essentially just played runescape/diablo for 9 months and left the house only to go to mental health appointments, then finally got a job at the supermarket after a good 6-8 months of searching and makes just over half of what I do, but works more hours. He did get enough to support himself on the benefit, but yeah. The thing that will probably break us up is that I've been with him through all the bad stuff and tend to be a bit overbearing/protective/nagging because in the past that's been the only way to get him to address his mental health issues, and it hasn't been a great adaptation (for me) to him being more well.

>>6920450
i would do anything for a girlfriend.
it's girls like you that boggle my mind.
there are millions of men like me who want to treat you well.
>feeling bad for the guy and that's why you're staying with him
i have no sympathy for you. you're doing this to yourself.

There are a lot of things, I'm sorry to ramble to anyone reading this.

I live with my mother, and her health is failing. Failing so much, I have to stay home as the youngest with the least prospects so I can take care of her. I have to clean the house, tend to her and do everything short of driving her (which I can't because I do not have a drivers license and experience panic attacks when behind the wheel).

Recently she's been getting sicker and I keep trying to take care of her while balancing school and work. Work has cut my hours and I'm only hitting the six month point of this job (which is actually my first real job). I've been having trouble finding direction in school and I made a split second decision to take a quarter break to figure out what I want to do major wise and I think I finally found what I want to be.

My friend/girlfriend (it's complicated) just got the a-ok to move wherever the hell she wants to go and she wants to move to where I live and we have enough space in this house (it's a four person house housing two people), and in a pretty good area. I'm so afraid that everything is just going to come crashing down if something happens or changes.

I got a really interesting chance to enter this year long program where I'd get college credit, a stipend and all sorts of stuff as well as a paid internship at a couple companies before either going to school again or getting a good paying job. I want to take the opportunity but the only time I'd be able to take it would be this September or next March. I was planning on taking classes and working over the Winter rush to earn money for cosplay and other stuff, but if I get that opportunity I can't go to school and can only work weekends.
1/2

>>6920541
2/2
My elder brother is coming at the end of August to visit with his girlfriend, and he still doesn't know I'm a lesbian and I don't have the heart to tell him but we've been reconnecting over games on Face Book and I don't want to crush him because he's already upset because my sister is a lesbian as well.

I guess I'm just afraid that if I do anything it'll all fall down, but if I do nothing it'll be the same result. I'm afraid my girlfriend/friend till hate where I live and how I live and not want to be with me anymore, and school and work will all fuck up and I'll just break down from all of this.

I want to study but I'm too poor.
>get a job you cunt
I got a job, but if I work too many hours I won't be able to receive my half-orphan rent (for lack of a better translation) and child benefit. Boo fucking hoo life is expensive

>>6920552
>rent
I did mean pension, not rent. Sorry for that

I didn't finish my cosplay in time and I only have my Rorschach cosplay.
I am honestly worried about going to a con with it.

I need to take a test in August that I need to start studying about a week ago for (licensing exams, covering about two years of material in two months yay), but all I want to do is make cosplay and lolita crafts. It's all my fault. I just can't prioritise.

>>6920531
Can you even read? I posted to illustrate to other anon that the situation is not necessarily uncommon. I'm not with him because I feel bad for him. I'm with him because he's awesome, intelligent, understands me, encourages me to be less intolerant of stupid people and a better/nicer person overall, and shares a lot of my values and interests... he just happens to come with a few psych meds and bad days. It's me that's having trouble adapting to him being more well, since he had months of needing a lot of support and encouragement and I forgot what it was like being equals and I actually have to cut that shit out now.
>i would do anything for a girlfriend
is a huge fucking red flag and there is no way in hell I would go near that. I wouldn't be surprised if you're one of those people who thinks girls are horrible bitches because they won't date you. I am a horrible bitch and I won't date you, but those two things are entirely separate.

>>6920568

>encourages me to be less intolerant of stupid people

My boyfriend does that too, and honestly, he makes me a better person for it. I know feminists are all about "don't change for a man" but hell, if it makes me a better person overall then I don't see why that has to be a bad thing.

Sorry for butting in. You just gave me feels. I can see why you stay with him (other than that particular thing, he sounds pretty great overall). I really hope things work out for you guys.

My husband is an abusive prick and a meth dealer. He forced me to launder money for him. But that's not even the worst thing. I can live with it, I can make the sacrifice for our family to keep it safe. But I just cannot live with our children living in the same house, being in danger every day because of him. I tried to get them to a better environment, by convincing my husband to let them stay at my sister's place, but that can't go on forever.

What should I do /cgl/?

>>6920571
Thanks! To be honest, things are pretty screwed at the moment, despite all the good things there are huge issues that are getting in the way of it being a working relationship at this point in time, and we both need to work on things ourselves - he feels trapped and smothered, and I get really frustrated by the limitations that he still has whilst still almost wanting him to have those limitations (again, a mindset left over from when he was less well). We had a huge talk about it and figured that we want to least maintain some sort of friendship, since it's rare for both of us to find the understanding/connection - and if in the future the relationship happens again, then it happens.

The trouble with that, of course, is that we both still like each other and would both be very jealous if either of us got a new partner in any way, even just a casual hookup. It's also so easy to stay together because it hasn't quite gotten to the stage where it's imploded, and so we spend time apart but just fall back into the habit of being 'together'.

>>6920582

Tell him that the 4th season of breaking bad kinda sucked but that his performance in season 1and2 was amazing.

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I'm so sick of girls fishing for higher prices by asking people for offers, rather then just setting a price.
It's not cute, I can see that you're out to get all you can from that girl for a defective dress, so you can go see a shitty band.

>>6919604
Get friends who aren't millenia younger than you and you might grow up.
If your boyfriend doesn't want to see you, take the hint that maybe he's just not man enough to finish it with you.

>>6920582
Ok that was good, you got me.