who is this desperate wannabe gyaru gaijin idoru?

oh it's just flan.

Shut up Flan.

>report submitted

Saged. Hidden. Reported.

She's just generally annoying and tries to make everything about her. She's generally a shitty tripfag and rarely does she have something good to say.
Inb4 she calls me a summerfag, I've been here for years. Fuck off Flan.

It's because no one can be as cool and cute as flan-chan~

>>5924835
i've been here longer, summerfag

not flan btw

>>5924835
I don't use that term, wololo.

Check the non-drama threads once in a while - I post quite a bit of useful advice.

Newfag.

>>5924849
>I post quite a bit of useful advice.

Lol. Caps or this shit doesn't happen.
You're the dramawhore and everyone knows it.

>>5924859
>implying those threads are still available
>implying you won't call samefag on any positive comments towards me

:3 Cbf.

>>5924862
>implying "useful" advice would even be on any of those threads
No worries. Don't really need the caps to prove you're a socially retarded narcissist.

You know, dressing up a horse like that is almost animal cruelty.Put her back to her natural habitat.

File: 1339060417699.jpg-(1.8 MB, 1800x1200, IMG2resized.jpg)

>>5924867
Sorry, what was that?

Do people legitimately think she's attractive? I find this hard to believe.

Remember last night when Flan fucked up and that Cockburn trip she uses had the same sage misspelling as her regular trip a few posts later?

How embarrassing.

File: 1339060567277.jpg-(36 KB, 480x356, Picture-of-Cute-Baby-Face-480x(...).jpg)

I like flan. Y'all are haters. She's cute and livens up the place!

>>5924874
FLAN YOU ARE SO CUTE
Wow, I say that every time you post
Whatever, I'm just reminding you in case the horse comments ever get to you or something
Forever a flan fangirl

>>5924878
I like flan.

>>5924881
Oh yeah, I remember that. I was posting safely :3

Its odd how they're always on at the same times.

>>5924881
Cockburn was being a fuckwit and 'trolling'.

>>5924883
>>5924888
>>5924889
Y'all making me blush!

>>5924874
>PT grade chin
>hook nose
>beady eyes
>thin lips

You will never be idol material.
Not even Dakota's makeup tricks can save you.
You've even got to bump your own threads because no1curr.
Give up.

>>5924895
>its odd that two people in the same town post at the same time
FTFY

>>5924902
Well, yes, even then it's odd.

>>5924899
Don't stop, I'm about to climax.

Why's everyone so mean to you, Flan?
You honestly seem like a decent person.
And I honestly don't give a fuck about your nose. I actually think it's kind of cute.

camwhore, tripfag, dumb, ...

>>5924925
... ugly, delusional

>>5924925
Camwhore?
Proof, please.

>>5924927
seriously? she post ugly horse face in every thread.

Shut up and dump all the flan pictures you have.

>>5924928
*post her

another white chick trying to be famous in nihon? pass.

flan i would fuck you face down ass up. only because i'm drunk right now. you look like you might give good head so i would take that too.sober or drunk.

>>5924928
Oh, I thought you meant the OTHER type of camwhore, not attention whore. You had me really happy there for a second, you jerk.

>>5924922
I don't know why you keep trying to push for this so hard.

>>5924924
The possibilities are endless. Most people can guess why though.


>>5924934
Nope, just taking photos to pass time.

File: 1339063266250.jpg-(21 KB, 438x584, 137145__438x_pussy-lover-shoko(...).jpg)

flan get in my mouth

where'd op go?

File: 1339064082356.jpg-(265 KB, 943x693, 155-oh-boy-here-we-go.jpg)

>>5924967
>safe

>>5924967
Very clever, anon.

File: 1339064276793.jpg-(36 KB, 480x640, 523732_268295199925343_1000023(...).jpg)

>>5924979
meanwhile, on the internet: OC

>>5924817
OP COME BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK

>>5924982
I've been spotted!
But...that's only on one website! You sneak.

bump for more flan!

i don't know, do leeches sleep?

My monitor wants to be drenched with cum. Post more flan.

File: 1339065758801.jpg-(1.78 MB, 1800x1200, IMG4resized.jpg)

Can I be gyaru gaijin nihon aidoru?

>>5925005
Only if you date me.

>>5925006
Date da yo?!

>>5925009
Yes, as in a relationship, just the two of us.

>>5925031
But...I can't belong to one person! I live for my fans!

>>5925033
Or should that be....FLANS?!

>>5925033
You live for me now, and i will give you everything.

>>5925039
But...it's the start of my career! I-I....I d-don't know how to explain to my fans...a-and...how do I know you won't..kill me?!

>>5925042
I will still support your choice of career, but atleast spend some time with me also.
Why would i kill someone i wanna see smile? I only wanna kill you with my love for you.

flans face has no personality whatsoever, its like she has no soul or something. Its just plain boring.

How's life, Tatiana?

>>5925047
B-but....something's not right! I d-don't know...!

>>5925071
Oh no no, it's just from over 9000 hours in photoshop.

>>5925073
Pretty alright. I have an exam tomorrow.

flan, do you even cosplay or dress in Lolita?

I'm trying to think what useful advice you can even give if you don't do those things.

>>5925119
Everything is alright, arent you going to pour in some trust in our new found relationship?

File: 1339073806764.jpg-(46 KB, 387x357, dog-slick-version.jpg)

>create this thread
>sleep for 4 hours
>wake up
>page 0 with 55 replies
>pic related: mfw

File: 1339075042693.jpg-(24 KB, 460x263, 2276768_460s.jpg)

>>5925188
You're back!

HEY GUYS

GUYS

PAY ATTENTION TO ME

Anyhoo, I'm gonna post some pics of myself and tell you about my diet. I eat 400 calories a day but it's healthy because they are the right kind of calories. Oh I also speak 13 languages and I'm flying out to work in Egypt to study pyramid ruins. I'm going to post 50+ times in this thread with mundane facts about myself. See ya later!

>Is it because she's the one of the few civil people who actually keep threads cosplay-related or...?

HAHA no.

Flan is like the illegitimate birth child of old spoony and DerpQueen. Is as irrelevant as the former and is as annoying and prone to self posting as the latter.

Completely ignoring the content, the sheer number of posts in itself is nauseating.

Sage and report.

>>5925216
Your tsun-ness is a huge turn on for me, please abuse me with your words.

>>5925205

CHYEAH BOIII WB COCKBURN GOOD MORNING

>>5925216

wat

>>5925214

To be fair I don't think there's a single fact about her in here, but since you're so into facts here's one about me:
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
[spoiler]I'm the best[/spoiler].

File: 1339077446583.jpg-(84 KB, 279x243, 1269748593846.jpg)

how did these people even decide to shit up /cgl/ of all boards? was it not shitty enough before they came here?
jesus christ

try /soc/ or /b/

File: 1339077967981.jpg-(45 KB, 604x453, doctor jet 2.jpg)

>>5925258

Already explained this one! l2attention, you obtuse-ass, goon-ass dude. Consider this bitch unsaged.

File: 1339078085999.png-(282 KB, 332x494, 1308960955830.png)

>>5925281
Oh, my bad.

File: 1339078735686.png-(601 KB, 631x446, cgl.png)

>>5925233
Ha, dumbass doesnt know spoilers dont work in cgl.

The way i see it, if I cant see anything in the comments of this thread that show on the front page, thread is/ has become irrelevant.
Now GTFO.

These threads make a good read, and allow people to release some of that anger they need to let go of.

A good job overall, The OP. 10 points.

>>5925281
Damn, those are some ill fitting suits.

hahaha baby's first tripcode

sage

File: 1339079481078.jpg-(63 KB, 367x388, 1301241428218.jpg)

>>5925323
>release anger
Oh honey no. If anything, these threads are building it.
If only you had the decency to be a troll rather than an actual pathetic, desperate attention whore.

Report submitted! This window will close in 5 seconds...

File: 1339079638615.jpg-(497 KB, 2916x1944, hoodie dog 2.jpg)

>>5925312

I spoiler'd it, but really, everybody here already knew I was the best.

>>5925323

Thanks, Flan! I agree that everyone here is a pathetic weaboo!

Please die in a fire. You are cancer.

>>5925346
Cmon, let it out.

Or just simply hide the threads and scroll past them. No one's forcing you to come in. You've only got yourself to blame.

File: 1339080332934.png-(3 KB, 196x160, 1323696219430.png)

>>5925370
>you can simply hide the off-topic invasive daily bullshit that shouldn't be on /cgl/ in the first place
>lol you've only got yourself to blame~

LOGIC

>>5925387
I never understood why anons on /cgl/ use the excuse of "there are a bunch of offtopic threads, so this offtopic thread is okay..."

Come back when you can post on topic

File: 1339080583320.jpg-(49 KB, 540x720, 227911_187838491268521_6340248(...).jpg)

>>5925387
No one is forcing them to enter, read, comment.
>implying you can't just scroll past

Unless the place gets mods that are on at the right hours, and care about cosplay/lolita more, the board's going to stay off-topic for a long time to come.

Either way, I'm not the only cancer.

Welcome to 4chan. Come in, stay a while.

>>5925398
>hur, Welcome to 4chan. Come in, stay a while.

You're so edgy newfag. Tell me where you learned it.

>>5925398
AND STOP RESTING YOUR HEAD AGAINST YOUR LEFT HAND, ANON

>>5925398
>lawlawl /cgl/ is all about being off-topic! It's what we do! XD

No, it's what a few lemmings such as yourself do because you got brainwashed into a monkey see, monkey do pattern. Most people on /cgl/ are annoyed by this shit and don't want it here.

If you want to spend your days whoring yourself out to strangers for attention, go become a stripper. Nobody here cares.

>>5925400
MAD. Majorly Anally Devistated.

>>5925406
Twisting words.

Clever monkey.

>>5925398
What a delightfully self-entitled attitude we have here. Please tell us more about it.

It's almost an accomplishment to have this many oldfags in your thread telling you what a tool you are.

Almost.

truth is, that even if the dakota/venus/etc threads are arguably offtopic people on cgl care, while with you flan... no one cares.

>>5925421
Well I don't post these, so I don't have to worry.

>>5925417
>random anons claiming to be oldfags
>on 4chan
>seems legit

>>5925421
I care. I like flan.

>>5925428
Nice fake trip newfag!

File: 1339081360280.jpg-(21 KB, 640x480, nuxed settere.jpg)

>>5925395

MFW nobody anonymous said that.

>>5925406

LOL, brainwashed.

But anyway, this thread is completely cgl related. No way to really argue that.

>>5925412

You're right, he seriously is. Dude comes into this thread fuming; leaves the thread fuming even harder.

>>5925417
>ai-honey
>criticizing somebody for having a bad attitude

How ironic.


Anyway, sage for cancer thread.

>>5925428
Lol'd.

>>5925427
>random anon
>has a tripcode
>has been here with a tripcode for four years

And now we have entered full on retard mode. Anyone who has been here any length of time, like me Verne and Masa are on the oldest spreadsheet. Shit they have spreadsheets to help you now but still newfags going to newfag.

>>5925435

rooooofl

>>5925427
you mean you have never self-posted or you've never posted on a dakota/venus thread or you've never been on 4chan or you've never even existed?
while you plan your answer out carefully I'm going to go off not giving a fuck, excuse me

>>5925438


__
____ ____ ____ ________________ _/ |_ ______
_/ ___\/ _ \ / \ / ___\_ __ \__ \\ __\/ ___/
\ \__( <_> ) | \/ /_/ > | \// __ \| | \___ \
\___ >____/|___| /\___ /|__| (____ /__| /____ >
\/ \//_____/ \/ \/

>>5925438
Nobody cares how many years you've wasted your time here, dumb cunt. Wasting your life trolling on an anonymous image board doesn't earn you VIP status.

>>5925461
Okay flan.

The sad thing is the length of time I've been here in years is not congruent with the amount that I post and the time I actually spend on the boards.

Flan posts more in half an hour than I do in an entire week. It's filling this place up with bile.

>>5925474

>Flan posts more in half an hour than I do in an entire week. It's filling this place up with bile.
>more in half an hour than I do in an entire week. It's filling this place up with bile.
>than I do in an entire week. It's filling this place up with bile.
>an entire week. It's filling this place up with bile.
>It's filling this place up with bile.
>this place up with bile.
>up with bile
>bile

SoOoOo dramatic.

CAPTCHA: ai-honey is a man

>>5925487
So what is your problem with cosplay anyway, or is it the fact that you can't troll any other boards so you come here.

>>5925474
Maybe so, but you aren't much better.

The only difference between you and the rest of the "please notice me" idiots is that you're more of an outward bitch.


Please talk some more about yourself and your /cgl/ posting stats on spreadsheets.

>>5925495

I don't have a problem with cosplay, what're you talking about? And how am I trolling?

>>5925498
>And how am I trolling?

Ok, shitposting then.

File: 1339083038960.gif-(1.85 MB, 400x225, allthefucks.gif)

>>5925497
>only difference

Yes because I self post five hundred times a day and I'm forever making offtopic threads about myself. I'm also completely irrelevant because I don't cosplay or dress in lolita and I never contribute to the discussion of either.

Oh wait. No, sorry. None of those apply to me.

I also know when to sage and report too.

>>5925513
>I'm also completely irrelevant

That part does apply to you, actually.

>>5925525
I cosplay and dress in Lolita. So nope.

>>5925532
But nobody cares.

>>5925436
Flan, let's get married.

>>5925542
>>5925497
>>5925525
>>5925497

This guy's the best.

Why the fuck does cake face have a stalker and do many butthurt replies. You know if you guys would just not post she and the op would eventually prove samefag.

>>5925542
I never said they should. I just said it makes me relevant, idiot.

DerpQueen makes some of the worst threads known to man, but she cosplays so she is technically still relevant to this board.

>>5925556
Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness you know.

>>5925581
Who a person is or what they do does not make them relevant. Their POSTS are what is relevant or not. This is an image board, not a civil council. A person who doesn't cosplay can still post cosplay pictures and talk about cosplay. All you do is talk about yourself and your snotty, condescending opinions on other people.

You are an annoying person with nothing positive ever to say about anything. At least the other attention whores have some sense of fun. You're just holier than thou and obnoxious.

>>5925605
That's clearly not true if you took two minutes to look at my other posts.

>posting in progress threads
>adding discussion to other cosplay threads

Hurrrrr. Though I agree content of posts is important, which is why I don't post offtopic unless I deem there to be a viable reason.

Telling flan to gtfo I deem a viable reason. As it seems other people also do since I'm not the only one.

You can be an active, positive participant and not be a cosplayer/lolita. But flan is not. Also really, there is no need to trip on /cgl if you are not actively a cosplayer or lolita, in that case.

>>5925574
they already did. one anon caught both flan and 'op' posting with "safe" in their email field within posts of each other
exact same misspelling? coincidence? I think not

File: 1339091571491.jpg-(68 KB, 641x427, theop_pizza.jpg)

>>5925574

It's faggots like this who take the shit off-topic and then complain that it's off-topic.

Pic related: the pizza I'm eating.

File: 1339092737872.gif-(985 KB, 500x232, tumblr_m1og6j4u0O1r8yqtpo4_500.gif)

>>5925962
wtf is that its def not pizza

>>5926005

Taco pizza!

File: 1339093185074.png-(197 KB, 500x283, tumblr_lt0vvz1GfB1qipx79o1_500.png)

>>5925962
>>5925962
wow jerk you told me that was slice was for ME

>>5926036

YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T WANT IT HELLLOOOOOOOO

>>5925962
flan is inherently off-topic.

>99%

File: 1339094231971.gif-(287 KB, 472x295, tumblr_ls7l0hR4aH1r3m5g7o1_500.gif)

>>5926041
>>5926041
SO YOU GIVE IT TO RANDOM GIRLS ON CGL??
that's it you're sleeping on the floor tonight

File: 1339094820196.jpg-(48 KB, 1068x712, nuxed-virus.jpg)

>>5926106


>>> I GAVE IT TO THE BIEBZ <<<

Oh Flan, have you got a tumblr or a blog?

File: 1339095067205.jpg-(289 KB, 500x530, tumblr_m4taroO88J1rw57wmo1_500.jpg)

>>5926131
don't give it to me I dont want it!

>>5926131
>>5926106
>>5926036
>>5926041

>DURR HURR INSIDE JOKES R FUNNAY

File: 1339095382256.jpg-(54 KB, 600x334, bad__bad_sweetie_man_by_mizhow(...).jpg)

>>5926148
good, don't eat that sweetie.

File: 1339095579765.jpg-(40 KB, 480x640, 246-WikusVDM_hjalmar_russouw.jpg)

>>5926174
grr, dropped me trip

>>5926159
>>5926159
gomensai!!!
4 anon frum sage-chan~
http://imgur.com/a/8FrgE

>>5926199
>homestuck
u r so gud at proving how ausome u r!!11

File: 1339095852222.jpg-(66 KB, 325x307, 1338269145994.jpg)

>>5926174
>>5926187
what do i eat now then?

File: 1339096136104.png-(265 KB, 500x306, tumblr_m4qt3s4imj1qeduxfo1_500.png)

>>5926224
but my imouto ate the rest!

File: 1339096239991.png-(484 KB, 500x500, thinkinboutsweeties.png)

>>5926228
that bitch.

>>5926209
>>5926209
thanks anon-kun!

>1.Pictures depicting those in costume play ("cosplay") and elegant gothic lolita ("EGL") dress are welcome.

>>5924817
If Flan really were attractive, she would be contracted as a model in Japan, be in commercials of highly anticipated games, and have a huge fanbase.

Oh wait....

It was about midnight when I finally passed out. I had been working my ass off on writing an article about some metal patient saying his dreams are becoming real. Crazy bastard. Either way, I needed sleep. I did my regular nightly routine. I brushed my teeth, changed into an old t-shirt and boxers, crawled under the covers, and fell asleep listening to the sound of the city streets. All was well, or so I thought.

At around three I was awoken to an odd sound. It sounded like something was dripping out onto the carpet in the living room. Typical shitty hotel plumbing, I though. I got out of the bed to assess the problem. It was pitch dark, so I hit the lights. It immediately seemed like I was on the surface of the sun. I instinctively closed my eyes and reached out for something. I reached out and drabbed what seemed to be someone’s shoulder. My eyes burst open to see a pale, grinning face with the word “SMILE” carved grimily on its forehead, with a mixture of saliva and blood coming out of a gapping mouth full of long, dirty, sharp teeth.

“AH FUCK!” I shouted. I was about to run away when the thing grabbed my arm. I was paralyzed. I felt its cold grib engulf my entire body.

“Going somewhere?” it said in a two toned, demonic voice. That’s when I snapped out of my trance. I broke away from its grip and began running. I made it though my hotel door alright, but as I neared the front door, I felt an intense pain run down my back. I looked over my shoulder to see the thing’s nails covered in fresh blood. My fresh blood. This didn’t stop me though. I kept running toward the door. I ran outside into the loud, busy streets of New York. I started screaming for help, but it seemed like no one was looking at me. No one even seemed to recognize I was there. As I was begging and screaming for help, I felt the thing grab me again. He spun me around and plunged his nails into my stomach. I fell. The last thing I saw was the thing laughing hysterically at my dying. As I fell into an abyss of darkness, my eyes suddenly burst open. I was in a hospital bed. It was morning. I could hear a heart monitor beeping along with my pulse. I was alive. It was all a dream. A twisted, twisted dream. The doctor was standing there when I woke up.

“Oh good you’re awake!” he said.
“Where- where the hell am I?”
“You’re in Bellevue hospital, we found you running around outside of your hotel screaming for help. Someone called the police and they took you here. We thought you were on drugs at first, but we ran a test, you seem to be clean. We figure you must have had some very vivid nightmare and began sleepwalking.”

At first I was confused, but then remembering the dream, it all made sense.
“Oh, well that’s a relief.” I said

“Quite indeed, you seemed to be having an extremely terrifying nightmare. Either way, you safe now. If you need anything just call and the nurse will be right with you.”

The doctor was getting ready to leave, but then I found something strange about this whole thing.
“Wait, if I was just sleepwalking, then why the hell am I in a hospital?” I asked.
“Oh yes, when the police found you, you were passed out. They thought you had overdosed. But when they picked you up, they saw blood along your back and stomach. Somehow you managed to get three cuts all the way down your back and a deep puncture into your stomach. Don’t worry though, we stitched you up and you should be out of bed in no time. Anything else I can answer?”

Naruto sat awake in bed for the thousandth time this week, stroking his pet. He always did this, it relaxed his pet in some way. Sasuke had left, making this the perfect time to finish the deed. His pet was long and hard and thank goodness it hadn't gone soft and mushy, he didn't want to loss this one like he lost the last. He looked down to look at his little friend, he knew his buddy wasn't perfect but it was his. He continued to stroke the figure that was under the sheets.

Naruto was in the middle of one of his stokes when he could feel the unwanted presence of Sasuke.Sasuke seem to sense something off as Naruto froze in fear.

"Dobe, what are you doing?" he questioned not really sure he wanted to know to answer to the question.

"Uhh...nothing," Naruto answered hesitantly.

"Dobe?"

"Uhh..."

"Is your pet under the sheets again?" he asked with a smirk plastered on his face. When would he be done with his pet? He had been taking care of it for the last couple hours.

"Sasuke," Naruto whined, "You know how much attention it needs, if you pat it to hard-" He was cut off mid sentence by Sasuke.

"We all know how needy your pet is, I could help if you want?" Sasuke offered with mischievous glint in his eyes.

"YOU'RE NOT TOUCHING MY BABY, I REMEMBER WHAT YOU DID TO MY LAST ONE, AND YOU MADE IT GO ALL SOFT AND SQUISHY!" Naruto screeched now possessively holding his pet.

"Oh c'mon dobe, please?" Sasuke asked with a unusually out of character pout. Naruto made the mistake of looking Sasuke in the eyes and instantly caved. Naruto moved over and made room for Sasuke to come in the bed to help Naruto with his pet. "WAIT, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" Sasuke screeched looking down at the lump.

"My Pet," Naruto sang happily.

"Really dobe? Why is it under the covers I want to be able to see it at all times!" Sasuke scolded Naruto. Naruto reluctantly took it out from under the covers. Sasuke froze for a second before yelling "Dobe! That is suppose to be part of my dinner!"

"You can suck on it, but it must live." Naruto offered.

"Oh, you'd like that wouldn't you dobe?" Sasuke scoffed fed up with not getting the what he considered a delicious treat.

"It needs to stay hard, that is how I like my pet!" Naruto squeaked.

"I like it that way too, but if you keep petting it that hard and that fast it's going to go soft!" Sasuke stated a matter of factley. "Let me help you.." Sasuke whispered in Naruto's ear as he sat in front of Naruto and placed his hand over Naruto's leading it with his own. "We need to get it just right."

"Sasuke? Uhh..." Naruto didn't know where this was going.

"Shhhh.." Sasuke whispered into his ear as he lead Naruto's hand over his pet. "You have to be gently or it'll get soft way too soon..."

Naruto nodded softly and fallowed. Naruto let out a little moan, "Sasuke that isn't the pet," he whined.

"Oh, I know why don't you get rid of your pet and I'll introduce you to mine?" Naruto eagerly pounced on Sasuke leaving Naruto's pet long forgotten.

Clothes lay scattered across the floor, among the clothes sat Naruto's pet cucumber...

Sasuke was bored shitless.The holidays had just ended, and he was ravaged with gifts he never wanted, or even asked for.His dad thought it would've been a wonderful idea to get him a stack of Xbox 360 games when he never even had a 360. A doubtful promise of a car was also mentioned. Fugaku said that every year, though. So Sasuke knew better than to believe his father on such a thing.

His mom, Sasuke knew, still lingered on the illusion that he hadn't hit puberty yet. Which must have been the reason for the stupid race cars, stupid collectible action figures from cartoons he'd worshipped in the past, a stupid ant farm (which would soon be disposed of in the backyard, now that he thought about it), and stupid clothes that he knew he would never even think of wearing. Ever. The only thing that stopped him from slitting his wrists that Christmas was the gift Itachi had given him.

Itachi was only home during the holidays, and he would only stay at the house for a few days before he flew off to college again. Sasuke liked when his brother visited. But only because every time he did, he'd get something ridiculously expensive and cool.Last year it was a 32 gigabyte iPhone. The year before was the precious Ps3 that Sasuke had sworn eternal loyalty to, and the year before that one, he got a 72" flat screen with internally enabled cable and Netflix. The list went on.

This year, however, he got a laptop.A beautiful, sleek, shiny, formidably expensive, fucking awesome laptop.But even the impossible beauty of his new piece of advanced technology wasn't enough to ease Sasuke's boredom that Friday night.

He had been surfing the Internet aimlessly, clicking away at whatever google results seemed promising enough to pass by the hours.

He had dreadfully read through some stuff on politics, articles on upcoming videogames he was dying to get, random fact sites, lost dog ads, until, finally, a certain pop-up window filled the screen out of nowhere.Sasuke raised a very bored eyebrow, taking the spare time to read the annoying thing:

Meet your teen match NOW!

Sign up for our free dating site, and receive the first 3 months at no cost!

Limited time offer!

At first, Sasuke was immediately annoyed.

How dare the Internet think of him in such a lowly way.

He would never think of signing up for a such a stupid a thing. Let alone, pay for the stupid thing after 3 months. Crazy people. Crazy Internet.

He lifted his finger just above the mouse pad to close the offensive window, but just before he could make contact, a smirk slowly began to birth on his lips.

He didn't have to be the one signing up for it, and he certainly wouldn't be the one attempting to find love online. BUT, somebody else certainly could. A wonderful plan was in the making, and Sasuke quickly punched in the address that was advertised to him into the surf-bar.

Maybe if he fucked around with people online he wouldn't be so fucking bored anymore.

He could spend that Friday night away laughing at the gullibility of the stupid site's members for his own amusement. Yes. This would be fun. This would be the remedy to his boredom.

He was almost instantly taken to the website. Sasuke's eyes were skinned by the incredibly tacky color scheme. There was a picture of some guy advertising how he would 'never regret his decision on signing up', along with several others when he took the time to scroll down.

Jeez. These people sure were pathetic.

Who would ever want to meet with a complete stranger online? Who would ever even want to talk to a stranger online? This was beyond Sasuke, and he held back the strong urge to glare at the screen.

After all, it was not his beautiful laptop's fault that people were incurably stupid.

Sticking to his initial goal of easing his boredom, he clicked on 'Sign Up'. He was then taken to a different screen which demanded his name, location, birthday, gender, among other heavily intrusive things that made Sasuke cringe at the thought of people actually giving away this sort of information just in hopes of getting laid.

Without really thinking much about it, he filled out the information, leaving the name for last.

He would have to think about that one. He had to come up with a really convincing name that would make people from the outer reaches of the world want to travel halfway across the globe just to bone him. Well, not necessarily him, in this case, but her..

Yes. He was going to pose as a girl.

With a wild, amused smirk on his face, and a small, devious chuckle, he typed in the name 'Sakura Haruno'.

Hehe. This was gonna be great.

As for the birthday information, he deemed it harmless if he put in his own. Maybe the guys he managed 'seduce' would send him expensive gifts from across the world, and maybe, just maybe, he'd get his dream car.

After selling all the stupid gifts, that is.

Sasuke took a moment to admire his clever handiwork:

Name: Sakura Haruno (Yeah. Guys would dig that. Besides, she was some annoying girl from school that he could easily base his profile off of.)

Birthday: July 23

Location: London, England (Haha, as if. Konoha was far from such a thing.)

Profile Description: Hi there! My name is Sakura. I enjoy long walkz on the beach, playing soccer, writing in my diary, puppiez, nd going out with my girlfriendz on Friday nightz. I'm a HUGE fan of Twilight, and all thingz Barbie. Team Edward 4EVERRR! like, omg! lolz

Interests: I really like painting my nailz, nd doing my hair every second of the day! Its just SO fun! like, omg!

Hobbies: Going out with friendzz! makeup, glitter, fashion, and OMG handbags! Pedicures are the best! americas next top model, paris hilton, the kardashians! like, omg, lol, their so cool!

Reading through it, Sasuke couldn't help but to laugh his ass off.

He was absolutely confident in his depiction of what an average 15 year old girl would be like, and he hardly looked back the moment he hit 'Submit'. He sat on his bed, anxious to see what would happen next.

The site then asked him to fill out a 'quick matching quiz' that would 'better his results' and 'bring him closer towards his true love'. Sasuke scoffed, This website was absolutely ridiculous, and he could hardly believe he was actually going to go through with his plan.

No worries, though, he reassured himsef. He would delete it within the next 2 days, anyway. He was only planning to have it up until his relentless boredom and weekend subsided. Afterwards, he would have no use for the stupid thing, and it would be deleted from the face of the earth. It was easy as pie.

He skimmed through the quiz, clicking on random answers until he was finally taken to his 'results'. He eyed the profile pictures of all the guys listed, and an amused chuckle escape him every time he recognized a few faces from his own school.

Neji Hyugga (was a surprising one), Rock Lee (not so surprising), Gaara Subaku (okay, now THAT one was quite the surprise), Choji Akimichi (not too much of a shocker).

There were several qualified candidates to choose from as he scrolled down through the 95 potential matches he'd received. After a few minutes of procrastination and amusement, Sasuke finally decided to go ahead and fuck with Gaara.

Suddenly, though, in the process of scrolling back up, his ebony eyes met with a flash of yellow that had flickered on the screen.

Sasuke leaned in towards his laptop, analyzing the small profile picture.

It was some guy named 'Naruto Uzumaki'.

There was a blinding tuft of yellow on his head, causing Sasuke's eyes to narrow from the intensity of the hue the screen was projecting. His profile picture depicted him holding what seemed to be a goddamned toad up to his face. Sasuke raised an eyebrow, completely confused on why someone would take a picture with a stupid fucking toad.

The stupidity of this one would just be far too amusing to pass up.

So amusing, in fact, that Sasuke chose to fuck with this 'Naruto' guy over his longtime nemesis. Bemused, Sasuke clicked on the profile, sealing the deal with the stupid website.

Congratulations! You will now be taken to your potential mate's profile!

Sasuke held back the strong urge to roll his eyes. This was going to be a shit load of fun.

Finally, the loading screen went away, and the profile of the blond toad-holder came into view. He crossed his arms as he read through the profile resting on the screen.

Name: Naruto Uzumaki

Birthday: October 10

Location: Berkley, California

Profile Description: HAI! Im Naruto! One day, I'm goin 2 be the president of the United Statezz! I really really really like ramen. Moviez, soccer, swimming, goin out with friends, and working on my presidential campaign! Dattebayo!

Interests: i like toads, and i also really really really really like playing the violin! my dad iruka taught me, nd he said i waz good enough to be a violinest someday! i also really like oranges.

Hobbies: swimmingg, violininggg, talkingg, and other stuff too!

Sasuke was left speechless.

How could someone manage to be so.. stupid?

He sighed, losing all faith in humanity as he brought himself to re-read the insanely unappealing profile. He wondered how the guy even managed to turn on a computer. Or how he even managed to spell 'campaign' correctly.

Nevertheless, the stupider this guy was, the funner it would be to fuck with him, Sasuke thought. This guy would believe anything.

With a coniving smirk growing on his face, Sasuke began to write out a message to this 'Naruto' guy. Sasuke could hardly believe he was actually going to seal the deal.

Hi. I'm Sakura.

I read your profile, and you seem really cute and funny. I would love to get to know you. You should message me as soon as possible so we can talk!

Sasuke sat back on his bed, a satisfied look on his face. He didn't have to wait for even a minute until a bing was heard from his laptop. He opened the message, and readied himself for the good laugh that would come next.

Oh hai Sakura! im Naruto Uzumaki! :D

i read ur profile 2, and you sound really cute. you dont have a profile pictarr, tho! can you send me one so i can see you? i bet ur really pretty.

Shit. Sasuke didn't think about that one.

Desperate for some sort of bright idea, he brought a pale hand underneath his chin, thinking on how he could solve this slight, unpredicted problem. He then brought his hands to the keyboard, completely blank on ideas.

Oh, I don't know.. I don't think I'm that pretty..

Sasuke paused.

He realized there was some truth in that comment.

He didn't think he was attractive. His brother sure was. But he wasn't. Sasuke already knew this.

He shook the thought away, however. This was just an antic. Naruto wouldn't know what was truth and what wasn't. This guy thought Sasuke was a GIRL for fuck's sake.

Haha. Hilarious. Right..?

But anyways, what's up? I'm really bored right now, and I don't have anything to do.

Sasuke sent the message.

His amusement was starting to disperse. This didn't seem as exciting as before, and he almost decided to shut off his computer and just go to bed. A bing stopped him in his incoming action.

Haha! ur funny. Im sure your very pretty. come on, send me a picture. I'll send you one 2 if you want! i just want 2 see how pretty you are. :) im bored 2, but not anymore, since im talking to you.

>>5925438
>spent 4 years on a website, on the internet
>your only acheivement
I wasn't even talking about you.
I've been on here longer than you've been on cgl, but I'm not going to use that to say I'm somehow better. Newfag is an empty term. A person who's only been here a week can convince someone otherwise just by posting cleverly.

>>5925446
>going to go off not giving a fuck
Oh, but you gave enough to post! I'm talking about making these threads.

>>5925474
>Flan
It's nice that your only retord is calling someone that calls you dumb Flan. I was long in bed.

>>5925640
Again, not me posting. Other people post nice things about me. Not my fault they don't about you.
I own getoffegl. I'm super-relevant.

>>5925928
It was cockburn. He was being a jerk, and probably trying to be sarcastically ironic.

How's it feel to be the new Spoony, Flan?
Seriously, if you weren't dying for the attention, you'd drop the trip and stop being a total asshole.

>>5927011
It's not attention. It's to tie my comments to me :3

>>5927001

You weren't in the beer fort, sorry.

>>5927051
How are you still posting when you've been permabanned?

>>5927001
If you didn't mean me, maybe you shouldn't have linked back to my post specifically, you dumb broad.

You assume incorrectly that the length of time I've been a tripfag correlates with how long I've been here. It doesn't. Regardless, if you are a new tripfag you are a newfag as much for that reason.

>Other people post nice things about me
Yes, so many nice things said in this thread. Way to sound up yourself there dearie.

>I'm super-relevant.
No.

And to end:
>retord

Indeed.

File: 1339108985035.png-(435 KB, 408x610, static.png)

>>5927084

> >>5925542

>>5927084
It's in reply to what you said. Do I need to make things simpler than this for you?

You're boring and are just using this thread to go 'ME ME ME' because it isn't about you. Kinda like what I do, but without the charisma.

>>5927130
Clearly it was in reply to me, it was you who said otherwise. The people in this thread accusing you of being a newfag aren't anon, it's pretty easy to prove that they have been around here for a long time. It was a pointless thing to comment on because yes they are oldfags. Duh?

I barely said anything about me at all. Other than to correct an assumption you made. Honestly, I'll take criticisms from you honey when you stop taking every opportunity to selfpost your face everywhere.

Pretty sure Ai-Honey would beat the fuck out of this dumb broad, English people are violent

What's flan's tumblr? I wanna judge her.

>>5927202
There isn't much on there but is starts with 'heart'. The 3 remaining letters will be released as clues over 3 weeks, with a grand prize at the end.

>>5927174
I can't be fucked replying further to your comments.

>>5927214

Lol this bitch got told

>>5927202
i just want to judge this flan person's command of the japanese language.

i've seen her be picky about it. never actually seen her speak it.

although that goes for a lot of "i'm going to criticize your japanese even though i can't speak it myself" anons on here.

>>5927202
>using Tumblr
Ewww

>>5927130
I don't like you flan, but this was a great comment. Touchè. You're right, ai honey is an attention whore just like you are. But she's actually got friends here and has toned it down in the last few years. Her selfposts were never as painfully obvious as yours are. She's also more attractive than you are.

And Masa, I disagree. Americans are probably more violent than Brits. It wouldn't be much of a fight though since both girls are so scrawny and weak. ;)

reported.

File: 1339110319723.jpg-(126 KB, 600x900, ai honey.jpg)

>>5927188

My, this thread sure turned white trash!

Is Flan from the UK?
I'd so be her friend

>>5927188
>dumb broad

Stop stealing my words.

Anywho fancy a flood masa? I figure we should make it something representative of flans overflowing intelligence and inner beauty.

I'm thinking Sarah Palin.

>>5927230

Idk man, I've heard English people get drunk and fist fight over smaller shit. They also don't feel pain and you can't feed them after midnight

>>5927236
JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY!

>>5927246
>Anywho fancy a flood masa?

I like you, ai-honey. Don't be so low.

File: 1339110527936.jpg-(8 KB, 207x200, wtf.jpg)

>>5927230
This.

And Flan, seriously fuck off.
Nobody buys this bullshit.
We get that you're an attention whore already.

>>5927246

I'm on my phone, I wish 4chan was iOS compatible to post pics in. :< I CAN RESPOND TO THINGS

File: 1339110652081.png-(190 KB, 400x323, arguecat.png)

>tripfags

>>5927246
Your butthurt is showing, dear.
You could have chosen to report and ignore, but instead you're bumping a OMG NOT CGL RELATED thread with your dull comments... after you saged and reported. LOL.

Why do you let flan personally offend you so?

>>5927259
How are you still posting when you've been permabanned?

>>5927253
Hm, you have a point. Although you might actually be describing the Irish. Either way I'd enjoy watching aihoney snapping flan in half and then going into a very cultured monologue about it. :3

I think it's about time the oldfags put flan down. Her selfposts are making this place almost intolerable. Jnig's selfposts aren't even this retarded.

File: 1339110811096.png-(25 KB, 473x430, 4changlmeme.png)

I'm going to go back to ignoring 4chan for summer, since it's that time.

>>5927282
>PHONE


Phones have different IP's.
He can easily reset his router IP

>>5927246
>Stop stealing my words.
Fuck you're a retarded piece of shit. You're stealing my words, and my oxygen. Go fuck yourself.

>>5927222
I only use Mixi for that. It'd be weird using Japanese on Tumblr. I never feel right seeing Japanese posts on there either.
I have been studying the language for a long while though (and tutored others as well), and know enough about many languages in general to understand flaws in what is written and spoken.
I like the 'FLAN DOESNT KNOW JAPANESE/ISNT RUSSIAN' thing though, so I stay quiet to keep it a interesting.

>>5927258
I'm not starting the threads and I'm not even around when most happen. I seriously have no idea about any of the ones I don't post on.

>>5927230
>Her selfposts were never as painfully obvious as yours are
>Implying I have ever self posted

No.

>>5927259
>>5927256
Aww, fine.

>>5927279
>bumping
>saging every post

Surrounded by fucking newfags.

>>5927294

Cancer spotted

If these anons just quit the internet /cgl/'s post quality would go back to pre 2010 levels

>>5927286
If she keeps it up for the next 3 years like J-Nigger did (and lrns2 boob padding) then she might get herself some booth babe jobs and a trip to ye olde Japan.

>>5927286
>I think it's about time the oldfags put flan down.
But no one gives a shit about oldfags. They've been coming to the asshole of the internet to talk shit about people they'll never meet and spilling their jelly everywhere longer than me, so I MUST respect them.

Go fuck yourself, summerfag.

>>5927308
>posting in a thread not about her
>adding to the content
>whinging that these threads happen
>replying in said thread
>continuing whinging
>continuing replying
ai-honey, why don't you just scroll past it? You really do seem like it's personal to you somehow. Like, seriously, why are you so mad?

File: 1339111146487.jpg-(11 KB, 146x147, 1332388041430.jpg)

>>5927308
You seem...upset. Wanna a cookie? Or is that a biscuit in your language? Maybe you need a hug. Come here, baby.

>>5927308
>Why do you let flan personally offend you so?

>>5927308
>Why do you let flan personally offend you so?

>>5927308
>Why do you let flan personally offend you so?

>>5927308
>Why do you let flan personally offend you so?

>>5927328

Keep insisting we never meet, I give you permission to continue to be delusional

Your newfag is off the charts

>>5927314
I think cgl's best year was 2008