My boyfriends brother...

I actually have a story typed up from a previous thread, but the thread started autosaging so I saved it to wordpad instead.

My boyfriend’s currently still on his Christmas break from university so I was staying over at his parents’ house night and just chilling with him in general.I brought my laptop over so we could watch some movies but I also happened to have a stack of anime on there, stuff like Berserk, Dragonball Z and Sailor Moon.
Instead of watching movies we decided to watch anime sped up to twice its speed using MPC and rolling around like retards howling at how stupid it sounded.
Cue his older brother.
If somebody wrote a story about the story of beta, I'm pretty sure he'd be the protagonist. Twenty five year old, virgin NEET. Auschwitz mode, pale as fuck from lack of vitamin D, kind of guy that's awkward as fuck to be alone with because there is just literally nothing to talk about with him. Failed university twice by not leaving his flat to go to his classes because he stayed inside playing games instead. His course was game design. This in itself wouldn't actually concern me at all but for the fact that he's actually kind of a misogynist jerk who likes to pretend he's better then everybody.

cont.

Despite all this, I think that he kind of tries to impress me or something seeing as I'm the only woman in his life apart from his mother. So last night he heard us laughing loudly and runs up the stairs.

We'll call him Roy.

Roy likes to yell everything instead of speaking at normal volume.

>Roy: WHAT'S UP GUYS
>Us: Er hey Roy, we're just laughing at how stupid anime sounds when you speed it up… just stuff like that
>Roy: OH. COOL.
>awkward as fuck silence as he just stands there staring at us intensely whilst we desperately glance around the room trying to think of a conversational topic
>I'm browsing through my folder to find another anime to put on and speed up to break the horribly drawn out silence
>roy is leaning over my shoulder looking at my screen, spots an anime named Kuragehime which I believe translates to Jellyfish Princess in English
>Roy: JELLYFISH PRINCESS, PFFFTTT, WHAT'S THAT
>Me: How did you know that was called Jellyfish princess?
>Roy: OH, I JUST KNOW SOME LOOSE JAPANESE
>Me: Okay, I could understand if you knew hime, but how did you know that kurage means jellyfish?
>Roy: OH. I JUST DID.
>Me: right... so... at one point you just randomly Googled jellyfish in Japanese?
>Roy: YES.
>Me: ... okay, so what's fish in Japanese?
>Roy: .....
>he proceeds to walk out of the room backwards

More gems from Roy.

I and my boyfriend had this running joke that when Roy returned from university that he’d have transformed into some kind of buff pimp with women literally hanging off of him. In other words we thought that the university experience would turn him normal and make it so that he wouldn’t burst from his room at the slightest hint of movement, shouting about the latest Sonic the Hedgehog release or this TOTALLY AWESOME COOL video he’d just seen on Youtube that we IMMEDIATELY HAD TO WATCH BECAUSE IT WAS SO AWESOME AND HA HA HA
Well, obviously he failed university, but we still lived in hope that he’d have gotten SOME kind of action.

We grilled him the night of his return, being all jock-ish and knocking elbows like;

>“So Roy, you hook up with any hot girls? Huh? See anybody you like, you sly dog heh heh”.
Roy proceeded to yell out this gem.

>WELL YES ACTUALLY. I WAS AT A PARTY I GOT INVITED TO AND SOME GIRLS DARED THEIR FRIEND TO KISS ME SO SHE DID. BUT I DIDN’T REALLY CARE BECAUSE THEY WERE JUST WHORES.

So me and my boyfriend have a lot of sex together.
We have a little sex-suitcase filled with various instruments for me and him to use.
Because my boyfriend isn't allowed to stay over at my house, I always have to stay over at his if I feel like spending the night with him.

We usually get down to business 2-3 times when I'm there, but I always try to keep it down just out of respect.

Roy is the kind of person who likes to barge in on people without knocking.

Now, despite this, Roy has never barged in on us once whilst we've been fucking, however always conveniently shows up at least 3-5 minutes after we've finished.

This has lead to me to one possible conclusion.
He listens to us having sex and waits until we finish to come upstairs and try to talk to us.

Quiet a few.

The worst one I know goes to the same college as me currently, and we used to go to high school together. And good god. The girl has a serious case of yellow fever. I mean really bad. I dont consider myself friends with her but that doesnt stop her from trying to be mine at every turn. She smells horrid, and I'm fairly sure she really doesnt bathe often enough. She wants to be a "mangaka" but her art is shit. And apparently she's been drawing for over 5 years and there has been no noticeable improvement from her old sketch's she's so proud of. She tries to give my good friend critique and likes to mention how crappy my friend (who'se actually good at art) sucks at animu art. And to her it's not real art unless it's animu style. She's also highly unattractive. With the height of a gradeschooler (note, being short isnt bad but it certainly doesnt help her case) she lacks a chin, has buck teeth, acne everywhere, and snorts when she talks.

She also asked me to teach her how to play Kingdom Hearts once. The debate on if the game is good aside, I question why some one needs to be taught how to play a game with a built in tutorial.

I know more weebs than that but she's the worst one. I avoid her like the plague so I dont have many stories from her but when ever I see her just... ugh. I know my friend is afraid to de friend her on facebook though since she's known to go apeshit over stuff.

>>5438967
What's more awkward: him busting in on you fucking or him waiting to come in after you're done?

Once we decided to take Roy out on the town, get him drunk and show him a good time.
The first half hour when we were supposed to be leaving was spent trying to convince Roy not to wear his grubby, stained track pants out on the town. Eventually we gave up and had to take him with us anyway because he didn't seem to get that these weren't appropriate club wear.

When we got to the club, the guy on the door refuses to let Roy in because of the strict dress code, so then the next door half hour was spent walking back to our friends flat so we could get him into a pair of proper dress-pants or jeans.

So, we eventually convince him to try on some dress-pants and we get going. Door guy lets us in and we all immediately head to the bar in desperate need of a drink after the stress and annoyance Roy has caused.
When we have our drinks we head we see that Roy has already found a table so we head in his general direction. When we get there, we try to hand him his drink but he just waves at us and instead.... pulls out his DS and begins to play Mario Kart.

He did this all night.
At a table, on his own.
Playing Mario Kart.
In a club.
With flashing lights and a fog machine and drunken women everywhere.

>>5438972

Honestly, him waiting for us to finish.
What you don't understand is that my boyfriends room is situated on the top floor which is up 3 sets of stairs. This is an old house, the floorboards under the stairs are creaky as fuck.

When me and my boyfriend finish we always hear a creak from the nearest staircase to his bedroom... which means he's been waiting outside all that time, listening to us and waiting for us to finish so he can come and talk to us about Nintendo or something.

>>5438967
how can he even tell? if you're not making any noise?
that is creepy as fuck tbh i would probably stop having sex over there. i bet he's fapped to it more than once

I was hanging out with my boyfriend again one day, and since he lives in the next town I had cycled to come see him.
He has a store which is located just down the road from his house, so I thought I'd go buy him a treat and get him his favourite Monster energy drink.

When I got inside the store, I realized his brother was inside buying something as well. As I selected the Monster and began moving towards the counter, I caught a snatch of conversation. The cashier has asked Roy what he was doing back from uni:

>Roy: AH YES YOU SEE, WELL I ACTUALLY DROPPED OUT BECAUSE I REALIZED THAT I WAS ACTUALLY TOO INTELLECTUAL FOR UNIVERSITY AT THIS POINT AND IT WAS JUST A WASTE OF MY TIME

I distinctly recall listening to his booming laughter echoing throughout the house for the rest of that night as he watched Youtube Poops for what may have been 4-5 hours straight.

The situation with Roy has gotten so bad, that his mother has actually had to cut his internet connection after they had an intervention with him. Last week his mother started crying when she found out he'd been stealing the neighbours connection just to get his fix.

>>5438985
he's probably a 2D only kind of guy. If he is going to play his DS in a club (I'm amazed they got him to even enter the club in the first place) I don't think he's going to fap to them having sex.

>>5438980

Play music so he can't listen.

>>5438985

Well... I said I "try" not to make any noise, but y'know sometimes, in the throes of passion I think "Fuck it, he's on the top floor... nobody will hear if I just let loose a little bit...".

Oh but Roy hears.
Roy hears alright.

I and my boyfriend have already agreed that he's probably fapped to us a few times by now.

>>5438987
Jesus christ, and I thought MY aspie brother was annoying. I'd have beaten his head in with a shoe by now.

Oh god this Roy stuff...
The girl I was talking about sounds similar. She's been in Community College for two years and hasnt gotten out of math 20. Actually considering how introverted she is, how lazy she is, and how much she apparently skips class I'm surprised she hasnt been dropped yet.

But go on, this is like watching a train wreck. But the listening outside the door stuff is really damn creepy.

>>5438988

We've actually debated this a few times, but we've come to conclusion that he's definitely not a guy that prefers 2D. He doesn't have any wall scrolls or figures or anything like that... he just really, really likes Nintendo and Sonic the Hedgehog and Youtube Poops and inane shit like that.

From the description you're probably thinking he has autism or something, but he really doesn't, he's just totally socially deprived and doesn't have a clue about life and people.

I think he's either gay or Asexual or... just, really, really socially deprived.

>>5438989

We have, but the pattern continues... even more disturbing because he likes to put on the filthiest fucking music to block out any noise but Roy still manages to come in periodically after we've finished.

Maybe he's just started listening for music to stop.

>>5438996

Get a door lock?

Oh god, I got another one.

This one isn't so much cringe worthy, it's just sad.

Roy was the same age as my older sister and they went to high school together. Roy's birthday was around the same time they broke up from high school and moved onto college, so Roy decided to throw a birthday party.

He approached a load of people from his year, handing out birthday invitations, when he got to my sister and began conversing lightly with her.
He told he was having a party at his house, that he was inviting a load of people blah, blah. My sister asks him what kind of drinks will be there... you know, the alcoholic kind? (UK)

Roy replies, "Oh, like orange jucie and coca cola".

Apparently nobody showed up to Roy's birthday party that day.

>>5438998

We did have a lock... it's broken from when Roy barged into the door, not realizing the lock was on and splintering the lock off of the door....

I nicknamed my husband Roy...thanks to this thread, not anymore...

Also, I'm one of the bigger otakus I know. Everyone else keeps their power level down. *shrug* Whatever.

I did meet a hikikamori the other day. Has never left Dover, stays at home, he does work, but he works in a little glass box (srsly, like a damned cell) and he games when he's not at work. It made me giggle.

One more "power level" story
>deliver some guy his pizza
>opens door, hear fighting noises
>Air Force guy, think it's some '300' type movie
>he goes to find a pen
>with enough bass to shake the damned windows, I hear "GRIMMJOW..."
>gigglinggirls.png

>>5439001
what is he the hulk?

>>5438970

I DEMAND PICTURES OF THIS GIRL

Please!

>>5439007

No, he probably weighs less then me actually. He's skinny to the point of malnourishment because all he lives off of is coca cola and spaghetti.

Oh my god.. spaghetti... haha... pockets, that's funny!

But yeah, he didn't outright bust the lost off of the door, but splintered the inside of the frame where the lock-hole thing went. He's just really over-zealous about the shit he thinks he has to tell us.

When we get into my boyfriends house and try to go upstairs, we have to creep all the way up the stairs because if Roy hears the slightest hint of movement, he'll bust out of his door like that goddamn American orange juice character thing (just remembered it's called Koolaid, derp) and start yelling about... oh god.. I don't know. Just shit, shit that really doesn't matter but is soooo important to him.

>>5439008
I regrettably dont have any. I would not take her picture willingly, and I'm not friends on her facebook (for good reason. My facebooks dorky enough as is) and her settings are friends only, hell I dont think she even posted pictures there, just tagged herself in anime pictures.

If I had some I'd post but yeah, I dont, yet at least. I can try and take some though I'd feel pretty damn bad but she's just so... so... I dont know a single person that actually likes her though so maybe I wouldnt feel so bad.

>>5439002

That's awesome! :D
Did you not ask him about it? I probably would have! Oh wait.. Bleach fan guys/girls can get a little nuts can't they?

>>5439016
Oh I also know that she and her friends like to make fake accounts of their favorite fictional characters and then get a marriage status between those two accounts. I know one had the Hatter from the newest Alice movie, and another had Ichigo from Bleach. ( I get all this from when I was at my friends house who was on her friends list. She posted weird stalkery shit about her favorite j pop bands who she's sure want to mary her for her sugui american looks.)

>>5439015
And I vote barricade the door.

>>5439016

I think I actually have a pretty good idea from the description, I actually knew a girl just like that at one point... I have some pretty crazy stories about her, that actually slightly involves Roy a little too..

Well, to speed things up, this crazy weeaboo bitch came to live with my family at one point because she lied and said her dad had kicked her out when he hadn't, she'd actually stolen all her stepmothers expensive jewellery and sold it to buy brutal yaoi and ran off before the found out it was her (they initially through they'd been robbed).

Long story short, I'm kind of an artist and was going through my anime phase at the time. Before my family kicked her out for being a psycho, she ran off with a load of my possessions, including a stack of my artwork, which she traced, uploaded to DeviantArt and began claiming as her own.

Of course, I went apeshit and began spamming the shit out of DA using my laptop whilst at the boyfriends house. We rallied a load of LJ users against her for blatantly plagiarizing some artwork from online games as well and we were chuckling about out-of-control the situation had gotten when Roy came busting in through the door all Koolaid style.

>I'M AFRAID I CAN'T LET YOU DO THIS ANON, IT IS IMMORAL

He fucking walks up to me, cool as beans, reaches down and... pushes the off switch on MY laptop, then walks back out again.

>>5439028

Also, sorry for typo's, I was fuming whilst typing that at how she'd stolen my supah kawaii neko sugoi cat ear headband from me as well. What a cock.

>>5439025

WE SHALL BARRICADE THE DOOR WITH OUR SWEATY, NAKED BODIES AND PLACE HIS PENIS IN THE DOOR BAR

>>5439028

More on that girl!

>>5439035

Oh man, there would actually just be too much to write.. seriously. That girl was absolutely off her rocker big time.

I remember how when she was staying at our house, coming into the room we had given her and she was sat with my little sister who was five at the time, showing her this fucking mental, bloody, brutal, anal rape manga and shit, and talking about how sexy and kawaii it was.

>>5439028
Wait he... turned off the computer? Why the hell did he do that?

>>5439039

I'm calling bs.

>>5439039

I am loving all this stuff that Roy does. I had a Creeper housemate but he just doesn't compare. More stories, if you'd be so kind!

My city itself is filled with weeaboos, but my boyfriend knows an... huh... extremely interesting one, who claims to love kawaii yaoi anime and gory Hellsing-like anime and claims to be bisexual. He's the type of guy who will grab your boobs the second you're introduced to him, and usually appears when you mention him...
We usually avoid him like a plage, but in some places you just can't. He somehow got my phone number, and usually calls to ask unusually stupid questions you can just Google.

I last saw him at a con. He came in short as hell shorts, striped stockings, wearing no top and with a collar with a chain around his neck. Oh, and the typical weeaboo cat ears.
When I asked who the hell was he cosplaying, he grabbed my hat (I had a huge Kyubey hat on. 2kg huge. The ears went below my waist.) and tried to wear it (luckily, it was well pinned to my head. Which means it hurt) saying it was so "kawaii" and proceeded to tell me he was dressing as a "kawaii hentai girl" and started saying "nya~" and stuff of the sort.
I... I just run away.

>>5439042

Because he overheard what was going on with this girl and her stealing my artwork, my boyfriend had mentioned it a little to him earlier in the day, he had been on the stairwell listening in on us, and decided that he it was extremely bad and horrible that we were spamming the DA page of this girl with messages about how she was a thief.

That's what I meant by saying that he's just a big jerk really. He walks around acting like he's high and mighty, this super intellectual guy and we're all just peons labouring beneath him when the reality is that he's just some virgin loser who sits in his room all day watching gay-ass videos.

I know that last description sounds harsh but, I've put up with this guy for five years now.

>>5439044

Nope, wish I was lying because then I would probably still have all that stuff she stole.

> the type of guy who will grab your boobs the second you're introduced to him

wat.

>>5439071
I'm fucking serious.
He wouldn't grab mine (my boyfriend was right in front of him when we got introduced) but he did grab a friend's boobs.
He got a well-earned slap, but that didn't really stop him from trying the next day when he saw her.
He's just that creepy.

Pretty much the majority of my cosplay community.
I don't know if I'm just getting old or not, but I don't feel much entertainment for still (yes, still) dancing the Hare Hare Yukai or Caramelldansen in the middle of the street while squealing about how kawaii that bag in the mirror is and how all the kawaii male cosplayers should make out, please bend me over and spank my ass with a leek.

It's still not as bad as one girl who could talk about nothing but Anime/shit games, though. Even when you're talking about a style of dress, she'll go 'ohhhh that's kind of like what kairi in kingdom hearts wears omg do you know kingdom hearts it's so sugoi and akusuru is so handusomu'.
Dinner discussion? 'RAMEN-DESU YO, WE MUST HAVE RAMEN NOODLES, i know this great asian place--' 'No, we're going for McDonalds, it's cheaper.' 'Omg it's going to be just like Lucky Star! Can I get your Pokemon?'

>please bend me over and spank my ass with a leek

D:

>>5439089

Sounds like a pain in the ass.

Just out of curiosity though, I've never tasted Ramen noodles. Are they any different from normal noodles, what makes them so amazing to weeaboos?

>>5439106
They are Japanese-desu.

That is it

Oh god. Let me add my ex to the mix. Granted I wasn't hambeast weeaboo status, but still pretty bad. I was big into inuyasha, so was he. I called him "Fluffy" because of Seshomaru's...thing around his body. I even made him Inu's necklace because he asked me to. He would even fall down to the ground if you said "Sit boy!".

Oh god how I've upgraded. :3

>>5439028

I interpretted that as Roy had been like.. e-stalking you and checking that you were spamming that girl.


E-stalking just makes it even more creepy oh jesus

>>5438956
>>5438956
>how many ACTUAL weeaboo's/otaku/NEET's do you guys know in real life?

I used to be a pretty big nerd.

>be 17
>live in dorm
>mid-night
>drunk hot girl comes in my room
>climbs on my bed
>wakes me up
>starts touching me
>"Uh no, you have to leave"

>>5439226
>FREE HERPES
>"no thanks"

That alone does not make you a nerd.

>So, how many ACTUAL weeaboo's/otaku/NEET's do you guys know in real life?
I know quite of few, most I met during high school and college. Currently at my work, I know some co-workers who watch anime/cartoons, but are not fanatics synonymous to weeaboos/otakus/NEETs.

>Got any interesting tales you can regale us with?
Went on a road trip with a couple otakus for spring break. We bought over 200 tangerines and had a battle in our hotel room. We got penalized for breaking some of their property, but it was all worth it at the end.
*shrugs* Good times.

i know one actual weeaboo in real life, but i dont have any cool stories to share since she is honestly the run of the mill ~*~*weeaboo*~*~.

>likes vic
>likes aph
>reads reader insert fanfics
>berates me because i dont pronounce animu titles with the JAPANESE ACCENT DESU
>says she can speak japanese like a pro

i only have weak-tier stories of her weeaboo antics they arent funny or interesting

I know one NEET.

Myself. Unfortunately, no exciting stories.