I've been through several episodes of major depression where I used anime and other tv shows and movies as a way to escape and take my mind off of things. I'm not really an anime fan though, and I haven't been obsessed with any shows since I was 16 or so.

I did know two rabid anime fangirls in high school who both had bipolar disorder. Idk if that's a coincidence or not.

Histrionic disorder is probably most common for /cgl/, a lot of anime fans have this thing about compulsive lying though.

I was thinking about this the other day...
I'm not really sure how it happens, though.
Yeah, you have problems and get ostracized by "teh cool/nurmal kidz", but how does anime get dragged into it...?
And it always does, too.
Every time you meet someone who's not-right-in-the-head, chances are they like anime.

With me, I have anxiety issues, and I'm not the most social butterfly in the sanctuary, but I didn't turn to anime because it "made me feel like I belonged" or something.
My cousins introduced me to Pokemon when I was 4, but I didn't obsess over it; it was just a cutesy cartoon to me. A few years later, I would watch 4Kids on Saturday mornings, loved the shows a little too much, and it went from there.

>>5214656
Same here with the major depression, but I do enjoy anime. I don't know if it's the bright colors or (depending on the series) plot line that keeps you drawn in enough to keep some sad away.

Bipolar disorder is complicated as fuck, I don't understand it much. (I hope those girls were on medication though) But maybe it made them happier, since I do know you go through ..many mood swings with bipolar disorder

I wonder how it goes from liking a cartoon when you're little to being a total bitch later in life?

>>5214672
But I think I agree with you a bunch of those kids who were teased and bullied ended up liking anime..or comics or something.

Maybe because they felt like they belonged with it or because it was the only thing that they could relate to.

Not really a "disorder" per se, I'm just bitter and mean and need a place to vent it. I'm a two-faced bitch in reality, I pretend to be nice to 'weirdos' irl when deep down every single one of them pisses me off. I think I attract weirdos because I'm nice to them, instead of doing what every other bitch with sense would do and tell them to fuck off.

But I search for some forms of relationships, good or bad, because I'm always alone. I have an abandonment daddy complex, and I'm jealous of people who have families/friends who care about them and seem to have support 24/7.
Seeing and talking about lolita/cosplay is just nice because it makes me forget about it.
No different than how people might turn to sports, music, video games, art, or writing as an outlet. And honestly, it's not like there aren't any social outlets at my college or anything. I just don't care for drinking and partying...it just seems to cause more drama.
Welp, there it is.

Cosplay in general is just escapism.
Like, doing it casually, maybe once a year is fine, then it's more like a Halloween type of thing.
Otherwise... no.

Those weeb fan girls that you don't want to associate with, that smell bad, are probably depressed, or probably psycho stalkers

I was bullied hardcore in school, so i became a loner. I remember making me way to a comic book shop down the street from me, and BAM!
I noticed that anime fans were wacko in 6th grade when a girl saw i was reading Tenchi and flipped a shit because it was a man-gah. One day we hung out after school, and she saw one of my Batman comics, and rolled it up and hit me with it because "western man-gah is baka!"
Stopped being friends with her after that shit.
Wasn't till i moved to a new high school when i was 16 till i noticed that 80% of anime fans are nutts. I couldnt bring my manga to school or wear anything thing anime realted, because if they saw they would flip a shit and wouldnt leave me alone... SO i only brought comics. But, when i brought comics to school, the less wacko of the nerds would talk to me, and that was fun.
I remember i became friends with this dude named Moose who was huge in to X-men, he was pretty cool.

>>5214708
>I think I attract weirdos because I'm nice to them, instead of doing what every other bitch with sense would do and tell them to fuck off.
...THANK YOU.
This happens to me too, and I could not figure out why.
I think it's because they mistake my politeness for friendliness or whatever.

Super nice irl, I come here to vent and bitch much like >>5214708 and same, I attract a lot of weirdos because I feel bad for their loneliness.
You can't be nice all the time... and there is a breaking point. I don't want to find mine.

anime fans= loners/bullied seeking some kind of refuge

probably have some sort of existing problem due to family or the bullying

depression, social anxiety, body image issues. i was bullied in school a lot for being quiet. not sure why. never really said much to anyone.
i was always into anime, but my love for it grew when things got really bad. it really was an escape. at the time it was the only thing that made me even a little happy. actually, my happiest childhood memories are about watching pokemon and sailor moon while drawing.
also, i tend to attract weebs. i'm not really friendly with well... most people, but i'm really polite. i can't just ignore someone. most of the weebs that have tried to talk to me have told me about their mental health issues- autism, anxiety, bipolar, depression.

hmm maybe you're onto something OP.

I just have some mild depression and anxiety issues but the real problem is all the medicines I have to take for my neurocardiogenic snycope. The side effects make me teeter on the edge of insanity. My body has essentially lost it's ability to maintain its blood pressure so I have to take a mixture of meds to prevent blood pressure spikes and sudden drops.
I take atenolol, fludrocortisone, Prozac, xanax, and repclipsen. Look at the fucking list of side effects of the Fludrocortisone.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fludrocortisone

OP here

I'm surprised by all the bullying. Now I'm curious how one relates to the other.

But add me to the list, there was some heavy bullying in my childhood as well.

Also surprised by the amount of anxiety and depression. Why anons?

>>5214761
holyshit

I'm fairly well adjusted but I've been diagnosed with major depressive disorder (and some anxiety) after years of struggling with it. So I'm better now after seeing a counselor and being on medication for a bit. Prior to that I'd watch a lot of anime, draw, and was generally listless, emotionally/mentally. Anime was a good distraction, same with video games.

I've never told anyone about it before that, but I think they knew. If I just met someone, I wouldn't tell them, so I'm rather quiet about things if I'm bothered by something or depressed. I know other anime fans (this isn't limited to just anime, but gamers and whatever else) don't have a filter for those type of things. So I've met a few...and I tend to stay away because I'd rather focus on getting better than focus on drama and angst. The 'why me?' gets rather old if one doesn't want to improve themselves. It's not set in stone.

>>5214656
You remind me of myself. I really used to be into anime in middle/high school but I've gotten out of it. I enjoy studying art more now, that takes up all my time. But I do enjoy watching a good series, it just takes a bit to find it. I'm a casual anime fan. So it's weird when I go to Cons and I'm not freaking out over this or that show.

>>5214761
I have POTS so I might know that feel.

I have some physical conditions and take meds for those. I've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder which isn't surprising given my childhood, severely abusive father and neglectful mother with a sibling that bullied me.
PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, intractable major depression. And I've met a shit ton of crazy people, mostly actually mentally ill people, about half were anime fans.

The difference between the ill anime fans and the ill non-anime fans was in the obsessions they had. It didn't matter what was the object of their attention.

I was bullied incessantly in middle school. Eh, I don't normally talk about it but that shit was fucked up. It was more or less daily shit, like putting lunch meat in my locker through the slits, throwing my books away, throwing water/drinks in my face, etc. The worst was when they put matches in my hair while I was taking a nap. Had my hair cut short ever since. At the time it was down to my ass.

Anyway, after that is when I started having problems. I have social anxiety disorder and some minor depression.
My SAD I think is part of the reason why I'm so interested in human interaction (soc. psych & I/O psych) and why I decided to study it in college. I was a nerd before that shit though; raised by Trekkies.

I also don't like to be mean to anyone. I've always been that person who made friends with the person no one else would talk to because I've been in that position and I know what it's like. A lot of nerdy people are awkward but I find that if you give them a break, they can be great people.

So, even if someone is "creepy" or "weird" I'll give them a million chances to be friends because I wish someone had done that for me.

>>5214794
This right here.

Maybe anime provides people with mental disorders (even mild ones) an escape and a way to feel better when they aren't feeling mentally all there, even if it may not be the best psychologically (aka the weebs who get the wrong idea)

I had a severe episode of major depression and social anxiety disorder in college. I actually used cosplay to help me get over my SAD (I never started cosplaying until after college).

>>5214803
I agree. My best friends are those who have been on some medication at some point because they understand what it's like. My best friend grew up anxious and depressed but we helped one another out. I think that's what some people need, is just a shoulder to lean on when struggling with whatever.

And I think some of that is in part a social awkwardness, and others can find that in anime/video game fans. I've just seen the bad side where it seems that they don't grow up or learn how to better themselves.

>>5214810
I agree fully.
When I was at my lowest in terms of self-image and depression; that was when I was into anime.
Now, I still /tg/ /v/ and /co/, but I don't into anime much anymore now that I've overcome some of that.
It's escapism and it helps when you're feeling like crap.
Part of it is that community aspect though too, I think.

Your first con will always be your favorite. It's like, this crazy hidden world of fellow weirdos and it's overwhelmingly awesome. They accept you and even praise you for being involved in the same stuff.
Most people grow out of the crazier side of it though over time.

>>5214810
That's true. But why just anime or video games, or even spring boarding from there, do sci-fi/fantasy cons (like DnD, RenFaires, Star Trek etc) seem to have a lot more psychological issues or is it just social awkwardness in those circles? I just assumed most people who liked anime etc were just awkward. Though by a few groups I've met they were just immature and enjoyed drama. Histrionic or Narcissistic perhaps?

What bothers me is when people take things from their online life into the real life. Even in Cons I find it awkward when people are spouting memes, trying to one up one another with their cosplays/art, or gushing over Japan/anime.

>>5214817
>'ve just seen the bad side where it seems that they don't grow up or learn how to better themselves.

I know a ton of people like this. The older I get sadly the faster I cut them out of my life... For example I know one guy who is a 30-year-old virgin (literally), has a thing for me, but is in my mutual group of friends... He basically just apes whatever I do when I'm around (right down to finding out what I am cosplaying then copying me and doing a character from the same show without telling me, gaining an interest in anything I like, changing his opinions because mine are different, etc.), surfs Memebase 24/7 and talks almost entirely in memes in public, etc... Only reason why I haven't already dropped him is because he's deeply engrained in my group of friends... So next week when I move away I intend on just not talking to him anymore.

>>5214820
I wish I could edit my last post to include this. I agree with you.

My first Con was fun but as I've said before I'm really casual so even if I like a show I'm reserved hehe. So being around hyper kids, or even people my own age acting hyper, it's a bit odd.

Of course I feel odd asking to take pictures, so I get shy hehe. Even though I know they don't mind.

>>5214836
Is the Sci-fi crowed the same as the anime crowed? Don't the have the same beginnings as we do? A lonely bullied kid, or an abused kid who wants to find a distraction?

(Why do we have to have such social awkwardness in either group as well?)

>>5214836
>> do sci-fi/fantasy cons (like DnD, RenFaires, Star Trek etc) seem to have a lot more psychological issues or is it just social awkwardness

Ah, yeah somewhat, it's just that they tend to be a lot older than the average anime con-goer. Less 14 year olds, more 25 year olds. There's plenty of people who are man-children, but for the most part they're all adult enough to not fall victim to a lot of the over the top kinds of stuff you see at anime cons.
Many of them have been bullied as kids too and get some psychological scarring from that.
Like I said, in my experience the biggest difference between Scifi/tg/co nerds and weeaboos is age.
Just from my experience though.

Professionally diagnosed: Depression, ADD
Suspected: Social Anxiety, Anger issues

I was bullied a great deal through primary and secondary schooling. I had the usual rumors started about me being a slut or that I did something weird. Though I was a thin girl I was called fat, ugly, and deformed which lead to hating my body. I was teased about my voice and my accent to the point that for two years in high school I was mute and still have trouble speaking in front of people, be it one person, a small group, or a whole room. I actually have to be plastered to do it.

I have a hard time trusting counselors or therapists, so I don't get help when it becomes bad. I also don't have many friends, as most of my bullying was started by people I thought were friends.

The bullying was done mostly by girls. A great deal of them fatter than me or ones who had lost their virginity at a young age (12-13). I was often called: fat, ugly, skanky, stupid, pathetic virgin or called a slut. I was told I fucked all the guys in the school, or was to ugly or nasty for anybody to sleep with, and often called a lesbian. I did everything I knew of to stop it. If I fought back and insulted them, it became psychical. If I told them that it was their opinion and it didn't affect me, the broke into my locker and stole/broke my stuff. I tried ignoring them, and one girl shoved me down a flight of stairs. I tried to tell a counselor about it and she brought in the girl while I was there. Of course, I backed down and said I lied, out of fear.
I remember one incident where a girl had bragged about losing her virginity to guy (in a room full of people, in a bed with other people in it) and when she got called a slut, she stole my notebook and wrote a "death list" in it and turned it in saying she saw me write in it. That started rumors.

I do not dare go to my high school reunion. Not because I fear I will be teased but more the fear I would do something I wouldn't regret.

>>5214841
Good luck with that. I hope it goes well. If you've started to distance yourself from him already then he might get the hint...or not.

>>5214847
Well, I think before anime came to the States, or rather became more popular in the late 80's and early 90's, the sci-fi/fantasy geeks were the ones who were made fun of, so I think they were just socially awkward. Since sci-fi/fantasy is somewhat based in reality (and not cartoons in animation/comic form) I think they're just more socially awkward.

I think since being nerdy/geeky has become popular it's less of a stigma to be associated with such things.

I think because of the culturally disconnect, since Japan is vastly different from America, that these kids latch on to it because it's new and different. But they don't grow out of it so they think they can communicate in their 'special language' to others of a like mind, so it could develop a more drama filled personality since they're relating to anime/manga rather than something like in sci-fi/fantasy which is mostly through books or TV shows (with real people).

I hope that makes sense.

>>5214855
*physical

I remember when I was at that anime phase. Not weaboo, but I took my liking to certain shows a little farther than others. It was during middle school until I realized that everyone who share my anime interests are pants-on-head retarded weebs. I couldn't have a decent conversation about Naruto with a girl without "KYAAA SASUNARU IS SO KAWAII" Or when it's with a dude it's always that awkward voice pattern they have. I'm not sure how to describe it though. From there, my story got pretty similar to >>5214724 where I walk into a comic shop to try out comic books and try to get back into anime. From there, I've seen a few cool-anime fans. Problem was they went to a Japanese club. The Horror... Every single one of them (with the exception of the friends of I was talking about) were exactly how I remembered all of them from middle school. From that point, I only talk anime to people who actually seem like they would have a decent conversation with me about it.

>>5214853
Oh I didn't see your previous post that talked about that. And yeah, age is a big difference. I feel a disconnect when I go to anime cons because the first one I went to I was about 20 something. I guess that was 'old' then. I'm now 27 and I still like to go to anime cons but I feel so out of place since everyone is so young.

>>5214855
I'm sorry that's happened to you and I hope you can learn to trust again. It's a hard thing when trust has been broken, especially when girls fake friendships.

I experienced that when I was 12/13. This one girl in my neighborhood was rather vindictive. She didn't want me playing with other girls and would have another neighborhood girl come to her house, invite me over, have the girl hide and then ask me about said girl. And then if I said something like 'oh, that girl isn't cool' then she would come out. It was shady as all get out. She would also try to make me dress like her and was rather controlling.

After that I realized I didn't want to be friends with her so I stopped hanging out with her, and coincidentally I get more into anime around 13/14.

Anyways I hope you're doing better, and you realize that those girls were lame and dumb and I hope you have good friends surrounding you. It's probably best you're not going to the reunion haha. Wouldn't want to burn it down or anything.

>>5214855
I wasn't bullied as bad as you...but.. I do know how that feels.. I had my entire grade throw every name in the book at me because I wore glasses, my so called best friend chased me around the campus and my only friend couldn't hang out with me, they even tried to turn my little brother against me, I hung out with the cafeteria ladies so I wouldn't get beat up during lunch. I got glue poured on me and when I returned from the nurse my stuff was gone...

>>5214864
Lol I know what you mean. I started to study Japanese when I was young because I'd buy BSSM subs from Canada and I realized I was picking up on some of the words, so I decided to pursue the language so I could understand it better. I self taught myself in high school and when I went to college I started taking classes. Thankfully I had a good group of classmates who liked anime/manga/video games but were grounded in reality. There was a kid or two who was a total otaku but they learned after a bit to be quiet since we were there to learn.

Well I don't have any psychological problems, but from 8th grade to going into high school I had low self confidence, body conscious (I started sweating alot & it was embarrassing) didn't talk much & there was this one girl who would pick on me every now and then.

So I got deep into some anime and fan fiction around 9th-10th grade (this is around 2006-2008 so Naruto was pretty big). Junior year I got this sudden burst of confidence and kinda threw anime on the back burner and actually enjoyed some part of high school. But then I turned to anime like hardcore when I moved to IL the summer before my senior year since I had no friends and felt alone.

But as for me meeting others who like anime, my friends (who are all anime junkies) don't have psychological problems or anything (at least none that I know of) but they do fit that stereotype of the unpopular, bullied in some way, awakward, alternative/goth kids, who turned to anime and made a collective group of friends.

I was diagnosed with SEVERE ADHD at the age of 9, and have been on and off meds for it ever since. I'm 18 now, and it has never eased up.

That being said, ADHD is not the same "being hyper lol so random." It's more like a focusing thing. I drift off, I stop paying attention mid sentence, I'm jittery, and it's given me wicked anxiety problems on top of it. I actually switched tabs 4 times just trying to get through typing this, that's how little I can stay focused. It's really put a bad mark on my school life.

But, I didn't use cosplay as a means to escape really. I have tons of other hobbies on top of cosplay, this one is just the most fun.

>>5214871
Aww thanks.

Damn that girl was a bitch to do that. Sounds like she was actually jealous of you. I know some the girls who bullied me were. It goes along the line of, 'I might be mean but at least I'm not anon." Hope things got better and found some nice friends.

Eh, I moved out of state and honestly, am too lazy or poor to shell out money for travel. Plus, it's so much more rewarding to hear they have herpes or fucked a dog.

>>5214877
Holy fuck OP. That's just messed up. Your entire grade against you? Shit, that was worse than me.

she used to stand on the edge of our group singing to herself.

>>5214886
I feel bad for posting so much but I enjoy talking about anime and psychological issues in a sensible manner. It's nice to know there are other people out there who have experienced similar things.

Though I'm a bit upset about the past bullying. I wish that none of that would have happened to any of you.

I was bullied a bit (a girl stole my mirror from my locker and when I asked where she got it she told me her sister gave it to her or some bs excuse) and I think I was called names but I just internalized it. It's probably why I related to Shinji so much when I was younger.

>>5214857
That does kinda make sense.
Being a sci-fi nerd is kind of a hip thing now-days.

Being an anime nerd is still weird especially since most of the fans that you see as special snow flake types with pink/blue/green hair and death note t-shirts.

I use anime and cartoons in general as an escape, because I really hate the real world and it helps me forget about all my real world problems. I think it's the same for a lot of people

>>5214897
Yeah, but I learned from it. And yours made me sad :c I'm so sorry that happened...

If I didn't watch anime on the internets, I'd just be watching tv.
I watch anime because nothing is on tv and I like a break from my usual irl tv genre shows.

I started watching anime because I was on the internet and "discovered" it when I was 11/12

>>5214897
Yeah I won't be going to my HS reunion. mostly because of Facebook I can now see who's doing what. Ta da.

Yeah she was a B haha. I'm not sure if she was jealous or just weird. She always wanted to be in the spotlight, even in pictures she was trying to be a model, posing and crap.

I've found good friends since then. I met my best friend in 7th grade and we've been bros ever since. She's awesome, she's also struggled with depression/anxiety so it was nice to know that growing up that I could share that with her.

>>5214899
Don't worry.
I'm loving on this thread and it's not often /cgl/ talks about this stuff.

I'm really surprised at the stuff everyone has in common though. A lot of anxiety and depression and a lot of bullying.

>>5214898
Did she ever talk?

>>5214916
Hurray hehe. Yeah, I'm surprised too. For me though I never got beaten up in middle school (which is where most of it happened to me) but it was more like verbal abuse and passive aggressive stuff.

I also got into the gothic subculture when I was in high school and oddly enough that was a good support group and I met some really good people through it, but they also liked anime and the like. So maybe it's fringe subcultures that overlap with anime/manga?

Kinda gonna go on a rant here:

I have ADHD, along with possibly anxiety problems and dyslexia

The ADHD made growing up hellish, because of how fucking lazy my parents and the school system were. Where I grew up, the schools were assholes. When I was little and had lots of problems with remembering to do homework and just being a spastic nutball, my school just wrote me off as lazy and didn't really try to work with me or my parents as to WHY I was acting this way.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't the stereotypical Bart Simpson kid who'd tear off roof shingles out of boredom. In fact, when I goofed off in class, I'd be pretty good at hiding it. My brother, on the other hand, was different. He'd do stupid things like kick a girl for tagging him (despite him not playing with them) or bringing his Boy Scout knife to school to show off to his friends.

To make matters worse, my parents didn't give a fuck about me and school. All my teachers would give me the "OH MY GOD, YOU'RE A SMART KID BUT YOU'RE BOMBING THIS CLASS! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" talk regularly and even tell my parents that, but they pretty much did nothing. They didn't even bother to check my grades every now and then. When they DID take notice, they’d yell at me when it was far too late to do anything about my grades, and never took note of the times I actually did well, only getting (at most) a simple “Oh, that’s nice”

>>5214924
Then in high school, so much shit would happen, like them FUCKING MAKING FUN OF ME FOR HAVING ADHD. I'd get pissed off, start yelling at them, they'd keep making fun of me and basically call me a lazy bum, I'd start swearing, my brother would come in, get all high and mighty on me and then I'd start throwing shit at him. Then I'd just say "fuck it" and go hide in my room, forgetting all about school and using my nerdy hobbies as escapism.

Hell, my mother in particular was more troublesome about this. She KNEW I have something that causes forgetfulness and sometimes messes with my prioritization… BUT WOULD STILL BITCH ME OUT ABOUT IT. “Oh, you can spend all this money on your stupid Japanese cartoons or comics, but you can’t put all that effort into laundry or dishes. Stop being so damn lazy”

EVERY FUCKING TIME I came up with something to help me out, focus on stuff and not be a screw up, it wouldn't end up working. Why? Because they required my parents to sacrifice something in some way or shape.

>Be on meds
>”NOPE DONT WANNA PAY FOR THAT TOO EXPENSIVE”

>Set up a quiet place to work in our living room
>”MOVE THE FUCK SOMEWHERE ELSE I WANNA WATCH TV”

>Take up tai chi classes (supposed to help a lot)
>”NOPE DONT WANNA PAY FOR THAT TOO EXPENSIVE”

>Stay after school at the library down the street
>Lived far from school, needed my dad to pick me up after work
>”NOPE I DONT WANT TO DRIVE OUT AND GET YOU IM WASTING GAS”

>"Hey, could you remind me to do ____ later?"
>”HEY DO YOU GOTTA DO THIS HEY HEY HEY”
or they just forgot altogether.

>>5214932
I stopped going on my meds since I felt they weren’t working, which my parents kept claiming was making me calmer. After all the shit above, I literally started begging to go back on it just for the slightest hope that MAYBE it was just all in my head and that the stuff works. I’d be constantly told that they would talk to our family doctor about getting a new prescription.

Then I remembered who I was talking to and how that never happened.

>>5214933
Did everything work out in the end with your ADHD?

>>5214932
>>5214924

I'm sorry, that sucks. I hope you're better now, or are you still living at home?

>>5214944
I'm not really 100% sure in all honesty. I'm still sort of falling into my ruts that I've had with it, but I'm working on it. Can't afford meds or anything, but being on my own now (college freshman) has really been helping me with the prioritizing.

>>5214923
I figured that during our times of abuse we picked something as our escape. It just turns out that anime is a very good escape, but I'm not sure why.
>>5214924
School systems suck assbutt with ADHD. I'm not gonna lie. I major in child development and half of the people I talk to, teachers and counselors all say that they lack staff or funding so they pain do NOT care.
Your parents though, that's really unfortunate. Your parents knew what you had right?

>>5214950
Yup, knew pretty well even when I wasn't formally diagnosed, since both my father and brother have it.

>>5214950
I think it's the colours, dialogue, action, character design and it's from a different culture than America.

For me my first manga was Rayearth and I thought it was so groundbreaking that they detailed everything and the ending shocked me. After that I read Sailor Moon, Gundam Wing and Record of Lodoss War.

I dealt with ongoing bullying by my sister, classmates, and even teachers.
The shit frosting on the crap cake? Being permanently kicked out of school in grade 8 for fighting. The "fight" was me coming across the desk and unleashing a haymaker of rage across a guys face. Because no matter what I said he wouldn't stop the constant stream of insults to my face, and the teacher would not allow me to leave the class or change desks. So when he said I was a disgusting whore that deserved to be bent over a dumpster and ass fucked to death with a rusty crowbar... Well, fuck, what other options did I really have?

I got a permanent expulsion.
He got a 1 week in school suspension.

It's taken me a long time to realize that standing up for myself is not something to be ashamed of, and not something I deserve to be punished for.

>>5214956
Well shit that's some fucking irresponsibility right there.

>>5214961
I applaud you SO hard. I wish I had the balls to do that

>>5214950
>>5214956
Derp, forgot to mention some things:

Like I said, my mother was a bitch about it. I'd ask her to just be patient, remember that I'm not just trying to piss her off or anything, and that I sometimes forget stuff or will get so wrapped up in whatever I'm doing that everything else sorta just slips away from my mind.

What happens? She'd take that too far, remind me in an obnoxious way (three times in one minute and with an attitude), see me getting slightly annoyed and shout "WELL YOU KEEP SAYING YOU'RE ADD SO I GUESS I HAVE TO REMIND YOU A BUNCHA TIMES"

ADHD-PI/anxiety/bipolar II. I was on a lot of meds as a kid and it's left me kind of weird.

I've always suspected that a lot of mega-hardcore weaboos use anime as a form of escapism. I mean, I do that with the internet, anime and some other stuff. Feeling let down by reality isn't too uncommon imho.

>>5214637

Sounds like someone is trying to self-diagnose themselves with a case of being interesting and it's-not-my-fault made-up problems.

>>5214957
Probably, america does have colorful cartoons and stuff but the one thing that comes close to anime because of it's strangeness and style is Adventure Time. And we tend to like it.
Anime is...just weird. Weird expression, weird jokes, weird color, movement, backgrounds, plots and subplots and sounds.
And so far does host a wide variety of genres, much more than the american cartoons.
Though, there are people, and probably people with problems like anxiety and the like who don't like anime, so it can't just be the bright colors.

>>5214972
I wanna smack a bitch

>>5214974
Reality is harsh. I escape with the internet alot as well.

(You have to excuse me, but what is the difference between Bipolar II and Bipolar I?)

>>5214969
Thanks. It's taken a lot longer to get to this good place than I'd like to dwell on though. I'm still dealing with the fallout from never getting a complete education (lol, career, what's that?)
And I never learned the appropriate social skills to deal with the whole teenagers/ early 20s set. Thankfully I'm old enough now it's largely irrelevant.

I know there's a lot wrong with me that medication might help, but I seem to be doing mostly okay with just brute force of will to get me through. Sometimes it's too much, but I always find a way to keep going.

If I had a time machine or a chance to talk to my 12 year old self? I'd rescue myself. Tell her to get out now at any and all costs, because that backwater was nothing but poison.

>>5214995
Oh, well it may look a bit weird and I think when they hear the original voices it's a bit of a turn-off because they're so high pitched haha, so it sounds really strange.

And yeah, I've seen Adventure Time but maybe I'm just not in the right age range because it was just kind of dumb to me. Though I was watching it online so that could be part of the problem.

I think the closest we've had to anime in America (aside from the dubs on CN) would be Teen Titans, Totally Spies (I think that was made in France though?) and I'm sure maybe a few others, but those have only been made in recent years.

>>5215042
It's good that you're doing better.
And it sounds like you have a very strong will. It's admireable.
Would you ever want to get on medication?

>>5215060
Yeah, I have a little brother who makes fun of me for liking anime, he himself has a lot of social anxiety and heavy insomnia and he used to love pokemon but he grew out of it. Now he makes fun of the style the big eyes and weird way its drawn, the voices, and also the language.
Myself I'm 21 and I'm kinda fond of Adventure Time. It is, extremely nonsensical I had to look up the wiki to understand what was going on cuz I missed the first season.
I remember Totaly Spies and Teen Titans, there's also Avatar, which is getting a second season I think, it's popular enough.

>>5215093
Avatar ended a few years ago. There's a new series coming out next year, I believe, that will focus on a new group of heroes 80 years after the events of the first Avatar series; which had three seasons.

My brother used to watch AS with me back when they used to play DBZ and GW, it was a good time since we'd laugh at the horrible dubs on DBZ.

>>5215069
I've been on and off medication here and there over the years. I'm not really on board with them, they just never did much for me when I was on them apart from the initial placebo effect.
Don't get me wrong, there's some people that medication is a huge help for. After trying them I decided that toughing it out was the best path for me. I somehow managed to luck into a really good support network and evolved coping mechanisms. My doctor is on board with this btw.

go to any college anime club

psychology project that the worlds greatest doctors can't figure out right there

That one ranty ADHD guy here:

You know what sucked? Being afraid of bringing it up to teachers with school since I thought they would just assume I'm faking it as an excuse. Hell, I even did a presentation about it for Health class (being lazy and picked something I knew about) and after I finished, the teacher basically said "Yeah, but lots of people fake it for extra time on tests and as an excuse"

Goddamnit, I hate those people. That, and kids who do it to get adderall

>>5215123
I agree, I think that counseling and having support is the best method that one can use when dealing with these things.

For my depression even though medication helped it wasn't the end all to be all. I went to counseling and my friends and family were really supportive and that helped a ton more than just being on meds. My Mom and Dad ask about how I'm doing, if I'm doing better today etc and just talking to my friends helps when I'm getting anxious/that depressed feeling creeping on.

I eventually got off of it this year after being on it for two years, with the second year starting my decreased dosages.

>>5215141
congrats!

Panic Disorder and Depression. It's not the anime's fault, it's because I got sick in high school and was undiagnosed for a long time. Unfortunately if you suffer panic attacks for awhile, you can never completely forget them and how they occur.

I've always been painfully shy, so much so that I decided to try homeschooling my first year of high school. Cue seven or so years of no human contact whatsoever.

Now I've been forced out into the world with no social skills and crippling social anxiety.

I uh, also went for several months at a time without speaking at all, so now, along with having a very soft voice to begin with, it shakes and I trip over words and stutter. People think I'm fucking retarded, which is incredibly depressing.

>>5215013
Bipolar II is more depressive and mild while Bipolar I is far more intense and has more manic symptoms. Or something like that.

Random panic attacks and huge problems dealing with people here. I think I'm getting better at handling it all though? I'm not full out panicking every time I have to talk to people anymore.

The two other people I know who have/had problems hate anime though, so...

>>5215143
Thanks hehe. I feel much better now that I'm off it (I didn't start with a high dosage either because I didn't want to have weird effects when I got off it) and my husband and family and friends have continued their support. It's not something that goes away over night, so I'm thankful they've been patient.

>>5215147
Do you mean actual panic disorders (like you believe you're dying) or anxiety disorders (just panic and tension)? Because a lot of people don't understand the difference when I say I have anxiety attacks, they think I'm saying that I'm dying or whatever.

I'm sorry though, I hope you're doing better. It's pretty hard to have both of those things.

>>5215155
That is hard. I remember during HS one summer I spent the whole time online and barely went outside. Because of that when I went back to school I forgot how to talk for a few days because I was communicating in my head and not with my voice. Hopefully you can get to know someone better and that'll help you speak better.

I also mumble a lot too when I speak and sometimes I speak fast too so it's hard to understand me. I've been working on enunciating more but I'm not really mindful of it.

>>5215194
Panic disorder is essentially what it's called when you get panic more over having the panic attacks than anything else. So I'm paranoid about having the attacks, like when I try to get to sleep away from home. I only have certain situations that I'm used to having them and typically only have them because I think to myself, "yep I have these panic attacks in this situation." I actually have really low day-to-day anxiety.

I've had panic attacks for thirteen years now. I'm on meds off and on and I have a system of things to talk myself down or get my mind off of it.. but yes they used to scare me to death as a teenager until I got on medication and got used to them... the bad thing about it though is that once you get into a panic attack your mind is in fight-or-flight mode and you can only reason yourself down so much when your mind is wired to be freaking out.

I have messie syndrome/compulsive hoarding disorder and if I didn't live with my mother who yells at me 24/7 to clean up my crap I would drown in old smelly clothes, moldy food and dead animals.
I also cannot bring myself to do things in time or sleep at a normal schedule (apparently this is related to compulsive hoarding), it fucks up my life and makes it really hard for me to keep a job, maintain friendships - since I cannot bring myself to phone them back, go to their parties etc. - and live life like a regular person in general.


Getting therapy next month. I'm nervous because I've never talked with anyone about his (aside from net net). If I can't bring my behaviour to improve I might face deprivation of the right of decision (not sure if that's the right term, english isn't my first language) because I cannot take take of myself and my life without the help of strangers
if the therapy fails I'm looking into drugs so I can forget about my shitty life and my whiny self

>>5215208
>(aside from *the net)
>I cannot take *care of myself
I should go to bed

I can't say I've ever been severely bullied, but I've not had real *friends* until maybe 10th/11th grade. I had a language barrier and no one wanted to be friends with me from 3rd grade to 7th. I started to get really into fantasy novels and RPing over neopets. Though I had no friends I never felt lonely - I had a vivid 'inner world', so I was alright. I then formed friendship with a trio of insane girls, all special snowflakes, but I'm patient and empathetic; although I wasn't always comfortable being around them, I got along with them, and it would be a lie to say there were no good times, though I was relieved when we went to different highschools.
I got into the IB program at my HS, where I was surrounded by azns and semi-nerds and immigrants, so I felt more at ease. I still cont'd to RP over email and forums, got into MMOs, jrock, and anime. I was never a huge ~fan~ of anime and cartoons, but I did enjoy mangoes greatly, as well as artfag animu and weird cartoons (Courage). I attended anime club, because my friends were the leaders. There were zero weebs there; it was pretty cool. I stopped RPing meanwhile, and got more into scifi and hiphop and movies. I liked my new friends (who continue to by my friends 5yrs later), but even though I had a bigger social life than ever before, I became apathetic. I've been apathetic ever since, and don't do anything with my life at all, other than watch movies and play vidya and read mangoes/books. For a period of about 4months last year I went into hikki-mode, which lead to my suspension from uni. I'm still suspended, returning next semester. I've been feeling withdrawn for the past half a year, and don't want to see any of my friends, whom I like. I'm now living vicariously through kdramas and obsessions with korean stars. I have no anxiety and am a situational extrovert, but I just don't want to talk to anyone. Havent for a long time.idk why.

I might be a bit different. Ive had Bipolar/ADHD from like 13(diagnosed early). I was very active, played football during jr high and highschool. I got into anime at 14, and most ppl knew i like it. I was picked on a bit, but I didn't let it happen after the first year of jr high. I stood up for myself and let the other ppl that tried to bully me know that if the continued I'd kick their ass. I had multiple fights, but they all backed off. Highschool was the same, after I put a few ppl in place after they tried to start stuff, i was left alone. I was in a lot of clubs in HS, anime being one of them. My weaboo phase lasted till late HS. Since then i still like anime/manga/jp music. I can say that there are probably an even amount of ppl with psych disorders across the board, when it comes to hobbies. Though thoses disorders probably affect the actions of ppl in like a LARP or anime club, more than another club like a sport. No matter who you are you still seek out peers that share the same likes and ideals. With the stigma of psych disorders many ppl hide their problems from others. Due to anime/manga being a mostly fiction composition it is easier to be more open about a character have a psych disorder. The reader sees this and decides well if its ok for the character then its ok for me to be open about my problems. The other side of this is the ppl that say they have a disorder trying to be unique or cool in some way. The typical "LOL IM SO RANDOM BC I HAVE ADHD LOL!!!". This is very irritating. Granted there are ppl that are undiagnosed but using a disorder for attention is bullshit. psych/soc talk, oh well.. .

>get harrassed, bullied, beaten; people from my class stole from me all the time
>tell teacher
>teacher asks ENTIRE CLASS if I was lying
>26 fucking people in a room
>"Lol sure, anon loves to make stuff up, she wants attention, but we still like her ^_^"
>they bully even more
>tell mother
>"Just ignore them and their insults lol"
>"Mom if I do that they steal from me or spread lies"
>"That's because you didn't ignore them hard enough!"
>tell school psychologist
>"You just need to stop being shy and awkward, man up and *~believe in yourself~* and everyone will stop punching your face in!"
>mfw when I'm already have a very dominant personality and exactly THAT is why everybody attacked me, they constantly tried to "break my will" or something
>finally leave school forever

fuckthisgayearth.jpg

>>5215296
Bonus:
>suddenly facebook messages from former bullies and nice comments under my lolita pictures
>"anon you look so cute, you're so creative"

What. Why? Whaaaat? Don't these people realize that, a few years ago, I was at the edge of bringing a knife to school and stab as many of them as possible them? (hurr death list writer here, apparently there are many of us)
>my fucking face whenever checking Facebook

In re: the mentally "eccentric" being attracted to anime, and such like ...

One word.

Idealism.

Which equals hope.

Something that, oddly enough, everyone else in your life was telling you, in so many ways, that you weren't entitled to.

Humans need that, whether afflicted by mental ills or not.

I have assburgers and most my friends who like anime are either asexual or some type of artist/musician/writer (which means they are all fucking cray cray). It seems like a fact any one who likes anime are never normal, ever. And if they watch or like it they have some type of crazy in them.

>>5215334
Not true, some anime is super mainstream. I worked at an inner city afterschool program and all these average, non-geeky black boys were super into Dragonball Z and even a couple of other series.

>clinical depression
>general anxiety disorder w/panic attacks
>molested frequently ages 7-13
>compulsive liar
>mother with coke habit, jailed at age 3. never developed a relationship with her
>alcoholic father, emotionally absent from my life

and honestly, I think I'm incredibly sane compared to 90% of people at cons.

>>5215302

I can't decide if you're stupid enough to have your Facebook as public, or if you're stupid enough to friend your fucking bullies.

Not sure what my problem is exactly, but I'm insanely shy and I have the worst social anxiety ever. I've always been really shy, so I never had many friends, which I guess really contributed to the social anxiety/awkwardness.

Got bullied a little in high school, people always threw stuff at me at lunch and teased me and that kind of thing. Hung in there and went to college, but that was a disaster too so now I'm taking online classes and it's working out pretty well. I don't have any friends though (aside for one online friend) and I haven't hung out with anyone in years.

Anime/fandoms have just been a really nice escape for me. Watching and reading things gives me a distraction and fandoms are a nice chance to talk to other people with similar interests. It's really the only chance I get to have fun, so it's great.

Most American high schools are in great need of their very own Haruhi Suzumiya, or any other of those countless magical girls with power to spare, to simply come in and DESTROY!!!

Geez, all we get is Buffy ... but she DID get the stopper pulled out of the Hellmouth and got her stupid high school properly devoured ...

I was diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder when I was a freshman, after years of my mom telling me to shut the fuck up and stop crying all the time.
I've tried so many medicines over the years, usually a combination of an anti-depressant and a mood stabilizer (also used for seizure patients) and nother has had me work. Most of them made me just feel nothing at all. Doctors have a hard time treating Bipolar because it's two separate things.
Shit sucks. My boyfriend gets frustrated with me because I can go from incredibly happy to crying my eyes out over nothing at all. I've gotten a lot better at seeing the signs of when I'm about to go into depression, which helps a lot.
Shit just sucks. I'm tired of going from incredibly happy and hyper to wanting to kill myself all within a 15 minute period.

SPD

Didn't get it diagnosed till I was in college. Always knew something was wrong and covered up my symptoms since I was little. At ages 4/5 doctor attempted to misdiagnose it as autism but my parents refused to believe him. Turns out I'm not autistic at all, just SPD.

Still haven't told anyone, family or friends. Not gonna, people will get understandably freaked out.

I think Pixyteri sums up your entire thesis OP.

I have dysthymia and mild social anxiety (possibly ADD). I also have thought that I was asexual for a while (apparently not a problem?), but I'm probably lesbian. I rarely had friends as a kid, and I remember having a group of friends once in my life during middle school. In high school I had a few people I talked to, but they were nothing special. In college I hung out with people for the first few weeks but then I started to stay in my room and play video games or read books. I used to watch a lot of anime, but I don't watch it very often now. I'm in grad school now and little has changed. I'm so alone. I'm addicted to internet forums. I find it difficult to form friendships and carry on normal conversations.

>>5215206
Ah I see. Then I may have had those before, like I would just work myself into a panic and then I couldn't control it because I thought something horrible would happen (this is when I'm trying to go to bed) and I couldn't go to sleep for hours after until I finally calmed myself down or got so upset and cried it out.

I'm glad you're doing better though. It's hard to get control of those things but it's not impossible. =)

>>5215208
Good luck. =) I'm sure therapy will help a lot. And I hope you can talk with your Mom about it because having a support group like that helps a lot when taking steps to dealing with something like that.

>>5215334
>artist
>diagnosed with anxiety and depression
>laid back anime fan

I'm not that crazy haha.

>>5215361
Yeah, that's what I liked about going to anime cons or talking with people about it. It's fun, it's just some people are a bit immature or can't talk about anything /but/ anime. I just want to find chill people to talk about anime/manga with and maybe cosplay or fanart.

>>5215372
What's SPD, if you don't mind me asking?

>>5215356
She reminds me of the special snowflake girl I used to know. She didn't understand why people made fun of her- but I knew. Her behavior was obnoxious and pretentious that was why. She would dress up in lolita, corsets and mini skirts, call herself fat and apparently had a hate-club. She even named herself after a whale... a beluga or something?

>>5215364
having the drastic mood changes sucks ass. I don't get them in like 15min but it's day to day with me. I think knowing that even if I feel like shit I can just go and watch some anime or read some manga and later or tomorrow things might look better helps a lot. Having an outlet that doesnt involve me hurting myself helps manage my behavior. Though having therapy and learning mood management skills has helped drastically in the past 2 yrs.

>>5215356
yeah I'm an idiot
that was a little while ago when I was actually too stupid to make my profile private; I just didn't know everyone could comment

>>5215342
Good point, I went to an all black school and I remember tons of gansta kids where in love, head over heels, in love with kid anime. Like yugi (the card game, they always made it look so cool while playing it in class), pokemon and dragon ball. Or some kids would actually wear the naruto head band and they where balling. But most of those ganster black kids had terrible scary home lives so it made sense why they found so much joy out of silly kid fighting anime.

On another note it seems really fucked up that most /cgl/er got bullied. This is going to seem weird to bring up but I wonder if it is a racial thing. Being a black girl who went to an almost all black schooI, got bullied but when I fought back it seemed like it was expected for me to fight back. and I seemed to get respect for standing up for my self. Most of the time when I hear this horrible bullying stories it seems to be from white people more. I am sorry if that come off racist but I am just wondering if it is a race culture thing.

>>5215391
I was a little bitchy like all teenagers but super calm and friendly 90% of the time and I wore normal everyday clothes. I had many friends but on different schools and they couldn't offer me any help with my classmates.
If I was bullied simply because I was an attention-whoring snowflake I would have known it

can't you show this girl a way out of her weeb-ness or something?

>>5215386
Well you know how to handle and channel your cray cray to something useful like art. I tend to notice the people who are anime fans and seem the craziest like PT are when they don't have a way to focus their energy to something socially acceptable.

>>5215423
Horrible no, but I am a black woman and I have been bullied. In elementary school I was insulted, tripped and teased. In high school jocks would make fun of me, one tried to make me do her homework and weird asian kids started to throw food at me. I couldn't get them to stop. The angrier I got the more food they would throw.

I doubt that race has anything to do with it. Except for the asian brats, not one non-black has ever picked on me. I remember the humiliation I suffered in gym due to being without friends- it left me open to bullying. Soon after, however, I learned to stick up for myself more and most of the bullies left me alone.

>>5215386
Schizoid Personality Disorder

>>5215424
No, she just didn't care. Oh haha you are definitely not the person I'm talking about.

>>5215406
Yeah, bipolar has cause me all sorts of bullshit. I've tried to kill myself (taking a bottle of sleep pills and waking up the next morning feeling like you've been hit like a bus), I've went through cutting, burning, sitting in scalding hot shower water... I'm very harsh on girls who cut themselves and show it off like they're a super awesome person, because I went through hell to cover mine up, and still cover my scars.
Haven't self-harmed in a year and a half. If I get stressed out, I still rub my wrists, though.

The recent suicide of an acquaintance made me wake up on how stupid and selfish I was being by trying to kill myself. How much it hurt his friends when he died made me never want to put anyone through that. I now value life a lot more, but I still struggle with the overwhelming feeling of just wanting to give up when I'm in such a depressed state and I realize that it isn't curable and doctors still haven't found a good concoctions of medicine that works for me.

I take each day one at a time. It's been working so far, and I've only had about 3 really bad days a month, where as it used to be half the month I'd be depressed. Feels great!

>>5215444
Yeah, I was never bullied by any black kids and I'm white. I was bullied by other white kids, and maybe a mixed girl (I don't remember her name but I think she was half white and Mexican?) but race doesn't matter, it's just about being a jerk. It comes in all races, really.

>>5215576
Congrats. I know it's hard but you'll get better each day.

>>5215364
Dropping my trip, but I'm sure someone will identify me.

I can relate. Bipolar II for about ten years now. It has affected everything from school to my personal life and lately I've been nothing but a giant suicidal mess.

And yet no one seems to really notice.

I'm the first one to chastize others about self harm, yet I do it myself. Something about causing myself pain has made things more bearable to me.
I'm supposed to be on a mood stabilizer and an anti-depressant but I have been avoiding taking them for weeks now as I absolutely LOVE the manic period. I get cosplay shit done when I'm like this.

What sucks the most is that I've been in a straight depression mood of it all for the past year or so. And I know that I should be hospitalized.

Oh well.
You aren't alone anon.

>>5215599
If you don't wanna be ID'd, don't announce that you're dropping your trip. No one would have thought to guess that otherwise.

Idiot.

Anxiety, paranaoia, and a very slight case of aspergers.
It's enough to make me awkward in social situations, but it isn't some sort of crutch for me; like, I don't blame my social problems on my 'aspergers', because that's stupid. Nor do I wave it in others' faces that I have it. None of my friends know, actually.
And I was also diagnosed with ADD in 4th grade.
That's basically it.

I was never overly in love with anime or manga. I enjoyed it, but I've always been very much of a private person. And when I say that, I mean that I kept - and still keep - any of my problems to myself. I went to a doctor once, and I was on meds for over a year because the anxiety got so bad that it was interfering with my ability to do anything.

I still have days where I can't bring myself to leave the house, or moments where I can stare into space for twenty minutes at a time, or just sit in a silent room. I don't know the roots of these things and I don't know if there's a name for what's going on in my head because that's something I'd need to ask for help with.

I deal because that's what I do, y'know? It's a matter of just carrying on because other people have worse problems, and I don't feel entitled to be worried or depressed - I'm one of those cases where there was no abuse, nothing worse than mild bullying in school. I don't feel like I'm allowed to be sad or complain or ask for help because so many people are in such worse positions than I am.

I'm diagnosed with bipolar II and generalized anxiety disorder, along with OC tendencies and ADD (although I think the latter is really just another aspect of my anxiety).
I'm the anon who posted about my anxiety in the "what's on your mind" thread last Thursday.

I had my biweekly appointment with my psychiatrist Friday and we decided to try Zoloft (anti-depressant often used for anxiety) along with my Lamictal (mood stabilizer) to try to combat the anxiety, because that's what's triggering my severe depression. I'm scared though, because I was on Lexapro a few years ago, which is in the same family as Zoloft, and it made me suicidal. I have to be very, very careful in monitoring my thoughts.

I'm praying this helps because this semester has been a living hell for me.

for me anime takes away the crushing lonliness I have on a day to day basis.Im home alone, all day, every day. dont know how to drive, so thats out of the question, so Im either sleeping, playing wow or watching anime. its stupid but its my life right now (which I totally hate) I just moved somewhere new so I dont know anyone, and dont really know how and where to meet people my age. anime and video games give me something to do so Im not constantly drowning in loneliness

I'm pretty sure I have cyclothymia.

And I've known a few sociopathic cospalyers.

I'm pretty sure my over inflated ego feeds my narcissism. Oh and lotsa daddy issues.

Sexual and severe physical abuse from stepfather when I was a teenager has made me a very insecure person, and I was diagnosed Borderline at 19.
I wouldn't be surprised if I'm an aspie.
My anime time has been blocked out with World of Warcraft lately.

Depression, weird phobias, social anxiety. I'm also sociopathic.

Social anxiety which leads to panic attacks, and have frequent major depression episodes. I was also molested when I was 5.

I enjoy anime, manga, comics, cartoons, vidya, sci-fi/fantasy novels and TV shows, and have since I was a child. It's just so much easier to lose myself in another world.

I have a low self-esteem, trust issues with people, and depression/anxiety.

When I was 6 my immediate family and I moved to the U.S. I had to leave the rest of my family behind, and have never felt a close sense of family since. They live on the other side of the world, and I always had school or other shit to do, so I've only been able to visit 3 or 4 times in the past 14 years.

My mom would never be around growing up because she was always working, so my grandma brought me up. She's in her 90's now and it makes me depressed as fuck. I miss her. She was like my mom growing up.

No one would ever talk to me at school because I was quiet. Like everyone else I was bullied by random assholes. My feeling of self-worth really plummeted in middle school because I was made fun of, didn't have many friends, and whenever I liked a guy, he wouldn't even consider me. Not one guy I liked until high school liked me back.

I had to move from Florida to California after my freshman year of high school, leave all of my close friends, and haven't had the feeling of a best friend since. It's probably because I live in a part of California where people are fucking idiots. I miss the feeling of having a group of best friends. I've felt really lonely ever since. I was better at making friends until that move to California, since then I've just felt like I've been at a stand still. It's been 6 years since I moved here, too.

I also haven't been single since junior year of high school and feel like shit if I'm not in a relationship. I'm scared to be alone, and I hate it. I just feel like shit about the person I am and feel like I could have done better.

I also have trust issues with people and feel scared of being criticized, so I stay quiet and disconnected from people. I always feel like people will talk shit about me behind my back. I don't know why.

Thanks for listening to me bitch, /cgl/.

Borderline personality disorder and anxiety. Blood test tomorrow to make sure my heart isn't broken! :D

PTSD that my family suspect has developed into a manic depression, social anxiety stuff, and paranoia.

I'll start going to a psychiatrist in january so I can figure out what is really wrong, and fix it. :<

Borderline personality, depression, possibly ADD. I have a friend online who says she has asbergers. I dunno she gets mad so easily I have to avoid arguing even If I know I'm right.

adhd other than that just good old fashioned depression exacerbated by alcoholism.

I was very depressed when I was a teenager. I was constantly bullied during school and literally every time I tried to speak with a teacher, they would tell me either, "Those girls just don't understand you because you are so quiet. You should talk to them more." or "Boys tease you because they like you."

I also had a hard time confiding in my mother about my depression because she would taunt me about it. She absolutely refused to believe I was being bullied. One day, I came home with gum in my hair and she said I did it to myself to get attention because she was positive that everyone loved me at school. Another time, I came to her and asked if I could speak to a therapist because I was afraid of the suicidal thoughts I had been having. She laughed at me and said, "We can BOTH kill ourselves! Let's go up into the bathtub and slit our wrists together because our lives are soooo hard."

I stopped confiding in her, met some amazing friends through cosplay and learned to trust them instead, grew up and the depression eventually went away. I've never been happier.

I've never been to a professional or been diagnosed with anything, so I don't know if I actually have any mental disorders. I was bullied in school and my friend's brother sexually abused me when I was young.

All I know is that my mood changes all the fucking time. I can be fine for half a day, get irritable and angry at the most insignificant comment and then in the evening the most intense depression and emptiness comes on. It's always at it's worst at night. I can't sleep because my mind won't stay quiet, and I get the urge to knock myself out just so I can get some peace. Every humiliating experience or wrong thing I've done in my life bombards me at once, and I'm torn between crying my eyes out and screaming with rage. I eventually pass out with my music on full blast, wake up and repeat it the next day.