I dont have any. Probably because I avoid them like the plague. Have some cupcakes.

Stories go! No repeats! <3

I once went to a con.
It was a horrible.

Underage girls and pimply boys giving out hugs. Fat sweaty land whales dominating the tables in the dealers room and you would literally have to peer between their collective folds of fat to see the tables. horrid cosplays.

it was all bad. but what was bad was horrible.

>>5054229
*wasn't all

does this count?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6y-eQnfnoak

Please post! I've been waiting for a good weeaboo story thread!

>>5051998
Not really a horror story, but it's funny to watch anime kids at non-anime cons (DC, Comic-con, PAX, e3, etc) try and do the marco polo/"youjustlostthegame" shit and everyone telling them to shut up.

This needs to happen more often.

>>5054229
Couldn't have been that bad. There weren't any slutty women with plastic tits all over the place acting like pompous little bitches n' whores who need to learn a lesson were there?

A few years ago a troupe of Taiwanese acrobats had come visit my school to perform. After the performance, there was mingling, letting us ask the troupe questions, take pictures and so on.

Out of nowhere, the school's whole anime club went up and started speaking to them in broken weeaboo Japanese. Shit stuff like "kawaii" and "NANI?" and crap like that.

I wanted to slap the shit out of them. They don't know Taiwan to Japan to their own assholes.

They just ended up confusing the acrobats and embarrassing the school and themselves.

>Much less impressive, I know a girl who wrote up a marriage license to Sasuke (and Inuyasha, I think, but their romance was short-lived). She carried a Sasuke plush around with her every day and flipped shit if anyone touched it while she wasn't looking or dropped it on the floor. Maybe would have been excusable if it was some high quality collector's item, but it was just some shitty hot topic quality plush that she told people she had to resew the seams for many, many times. Also wore Naruto headbands and shit to school. She based her entire senior project on making cosplay wearable for "everyday" sort of as fashion even though all of the designs were totally out there and would definitely result in a talking-to if not more from your boss. Towards graduation, she stopped carrying the plush around and started wearing wigs and full cosplay to school instead. Nice. I remember my freshman year when I was still hardcore weeaboo, I went to anime club once or twice and it was PACKED FULL of people. The presidents graduated and she took over, randomly appointing her friends as...staff members, I guess (I was sitting next to one when she ran over and said "You need to be treasurer for the anime and manga club, okay? I'm signing you up because this is due today"), and in the senior yearbook there are 4 people in the picture, including her. None of them are the staff.

>>5054629
at least they make for decent eye-candy among a sea of fail.

Back in high school I was part of the anime club (mostly to hang with friends and play video games, I liked anime but wasn't really all that hardcore about it). I'd mess with the hardcore weeaboos all the time
"Hey you're reading one of those Anime books!"
"It's called manga, baka!"
"No I'm pretty sure it's an anime book"
shit like that

There was one girl she was pretty mentally disturbed. Pretty fat, cat ears, always a manga clutched in her pudgy hands. Completely convinced she'd become a professional mangaka and move to japan, even though she drew like a five year old and literally made no improvement in all the years I knew her. It wasn't even decent by some anime standards.

She would keep making suicide attempts/threats, but not really serious, just to get our attention. She threatened to jump over the rails of a plaza area that was about two stories high, she ran into the street screeching at the top of her lungs into oncoming traffic (one car that saw her coming from all the way up the block that wasn't even going close to the local speed limit and stopped a dozen yards away before she could reach it) and shit like that. She would also burst out crying randomly in art class. I'm pretty sure it was some kinda bipolar disorder. Last I saw her she was still fat and dreaming of manga-stardom.

There's a whole mess of them that show up at my work (gamestop).

They look greasy and disgusting and never hide their power-level. one of them came in with his dad once and I have never seen a man so crestfallen in my life

In the local mall there are generally swarms of them by the Hot Topic

I guess they go there to spawn or something, it's like there's more every day.

>Check out the freshmen joining anime club
>Yaoi fangirls and chicks with cat ears
>Assume the worst
>My friends befriend them anyway
>They turn out to be pretty awesome
>Everything went better than expected
'

Though I still wish they wouldn't wear their cat ears in public.

>High school, sophomore year
>In my youthful foolishness, I had purchased and was wearing a Naruto shirt
>School lets out, I take a quick trip to the bathroom while wearing the shirt
>Some younger kid sees me wearing the shirt as I was washing my hands and starts gushing over
>I shrug off each comment and only remark that the show is 'pretty cool'
>He starts telling me about his fan-character who is like Naruto but has a Dragon inside of him instead of a Fox. Also, he has a 'Lightspeed Juutsu' that lets him move at the speed of light 'n shit.
>He follows me out into the hallway
>He follows me out into the parking lot
>He tries to get into my car

NO

>>5054886

THIS.

I befriended some people who do this. They're pretty chill and I've known them before that happened so I won't judge them.

here's one thing that happened recently:

>draw art for high school
>draw picture making fun of the while animal tail fad we were having
>Slew of people came after me about it
>I did not give a shit.
>Try to threaten me
>One of them says to meet in in back of Kmart to fight.
>I agree
>Told the school and they were put in suspension and no longer allowed in anime club.

Not interested in fighting fat weeaboo, they would literally crush me.

>>5054886
I know that feel.
I have a friend who's a yaoi fangirl and has the whole cat-ears-obsession.
Love her to death but she can be embarrassing as hell sometimes...

>Go to anime convention
>Yes, I know, a convention
>Cosplaying as Kamina
>Hear some screaming around the corner
>Turn around corner
>Find a bunch of female weeaboos squeeing over any naruto cosplayer nearby
>They had all group-glomped some poor 14-year-old
>They see me
>I feel safe, they won't know who I am
>Flex abs
>They scream
>"Saaaaassssuuuuuukkkeeeeee!"
>All start running toward me
>Fifteen of them, one of me, decide the odds aren't worth it
>Turn and run
>Flip-flops flipping like flop, yo
>Almost make it into more populated area of con
>One managed to tackle the back of my cape.
>I collapse onto the floor
>They pile on me
>I taste blood
>Darkness
>Wake up, still covered with landwhales
>Now I've lost it
>I know I can kill
>Next thing I know, I'm a bear
>Maul all of the landwhales
>Take a flying leap and blast off
>Achieve godhood
>Everythingewentbetterthanexpected.bear

>>5054896
>He tries to get in my car

That is the highest level of stranger danger right here.
Just because someone wears a shirt from something you like doesn't mean your not best friends.

>Anime con
>me and friend think it was fun, despite the fact every stall there sold pretty much the same crap
>go to leave and he thinks it would be fun to go up to random girls and offer to hug them without saying anything, due to alot of people with these "free hug" signs
>i tell him to go first, so he goes up to one of them offering a hug and as she goes to open her arms he walks past her
>realise this game is better than the con in seconds
>we do this for the rest of the con till its over
>he gets arrogant and claims"if i get this girl i win"
>goes up to this huge, whale, weeabo girl
>start to accept he is going to brag about 'winning'
>he goes up to her with his arms open, she looks him up and down and says "no" then walks past him
>his face dies, i laugh louder than i ever have
>cons are brilliant

>>5054938
>weeabo girl

I don't think she's one. If anything she sound normal.

>>5054923

Was than an intentional DtB OST reference in there?

>>5054971
>naruto and bleach obscure
>HAHAHA

>Be young
>Like naruto
>Go to con with bros and get super excited that I can buy my very own naruto ninja headband
>blow what little savings I have on it (and a bunch of other stupid junk)
>wear it around con
>decide to wear it to school on monday
>friend convinces me not to

Best friend I ever had

>>5055003
Are they still friends with you now?

>>5055003

Had sure implies you stabbed him in the heart and ditched his body in the middle of an ominous countryside lake.

Or at least that he ain't your friend no more.

>>5055012
Fuck yeah

>>5055016
Oh lol, bad wording on my part.

>>5055019
Give them a hug, and thank them at random times.
They saved you from public embarassment.

Walking from one end of the convention to another, I'm not looking where I'm going and talking to my boyfriend, when he goes, "HEY!" and puts his arm out in front of my face. I turn for a split second to see a sheathed sword about to collide with my face, if it hadn't of been for my boyfriend grabbing it.

Basically what had happened was that old cheesy sitcom joke where someone has something huge draped over their shoulder, a 4 foot sword for example, when they turn around suddenly and hit someone on the head.

The kid hears my boyfriend and turns around. My boyfriend says something like, "You need to be more careful, you almost hit her." and the kid is like
YOU WANT TO BUY MY SWORD, IT'S REALLY COOL BUT MY MOM SAW IT AND GOT MAD SO NOW I HAVE TO SELL IT, WOULD YOU BUY IT FOR 40 BUCKS?!

We were taken aback, but the kid obviously had some sort of autism and we ducked into a crowd after telling him no.

Weeks later we saw him at gamestop where he supposedly hangs out all day talking to the people who work there.

>>5055036
Ha ha, will do.

does anyone have that one with "ninja-chan" with the kleptomaniac and knives in the ceiling? also the one with the handicapped girl who was almost murdered?

sorry if it's too much trouble, just wanna show a friend. thanks.

>>5055086
I think you can find them on weeaboo-horrors.deviantart

>>5055102
oh awesome, thanks so much

bump

>Tells me that when her daughter is born, she is going to force her girl to dress as Mini Moon until she's 18

Wouldn't that be child abuse?

>In Borders browsing comics
>Group of three teenage girls in the aisle with me
>Girl 1: "Kya~! Ritsu is so moe~"
>Girl 2: "Shota catboys are the best!!"
>Girl 3: "...Hey guys, is it socially acceptable to talk about shota in public?"
>Girl 1: "...Ahaha... I guess not!"
>Girl 2: awkward laughter
>subject dropped

>>5055657
we can only hope the chid will turn on her like a neglected pitbull.

>>5055767

best
wording
ever

>>5051998
Dear God..

When I first got interested in anime, I was introduced to a girl, who my friend said I should talk to because we now have 'similar tastes.'

I'm a friendly person, she seemed nice, I made friends with her.

A day after I had befriended her, she began telling me this bullshit about how she has this wolf-person living inside her, I was a bit weirded out, (I had never met a weeaboo or ever attended a convention before, so I was completely oblivious) but what the heck, she seemed like a nice person, so I blew it off.

But it got continuously worse, she started hitting on the person I was interested in, she constantly told me about how her anime character is with every single main male anime character under the sun, and how they have 'children' together, she tells me how she was raped on multiple occasions by multiple people, and how she has the spirit of wolves living inside her. She's a chronic kleptomaniac, she has made up facebook accounts and constantly talks to her made up japanese friends, and has dated some of the most ugliest creations on this planet.

It got to the point where I refused to invite her to any of my social gatherings, she threw a bitch fit, and end of friendship... thank god.

It was at that point that I realised that a fair amount of anime fans are absolutely batshit crazy.

Alternately, I do have a pretty damn good weeaboo story.
>On a school trip to London
>See the most gorgeous woman I have ever laid my eyes on
>Spend day wondering if I'll ever see her again
>Get bored, wonder into Waterstones
>Check the Manga section
>See her there flicking through them

Fuck yeah.

>>5056034
F5F5F5F5F5F5

I have dug around in my memory and now have a story to tell you if you want to hear about it. It's about a European born, American raised weeboo who thought she was a fairy and who led to my depression or tldr

>>5056067
i wanna hear.

>>5056067
Go on...

>>5056077
fair enough, I do warn you that I have not typed it out before hand.

>>5056084
that's what the f5 button is for

1/?
It all started freshman year of high school. I had just transferred to a new school and so I didn't know anyone and was desperately trying to make friends. Seeing as I came from a pretty hick town before I didn't know that you weren't suppose to decorate your journals with anime and vidya game characters. So I did. No one really remarked on them since no one really cared, but it is now I met S.

I was drawing in an anime style one day in English and someone commented on it saying that it was nice. This person said I should talk to S, who I had noticed and who I thought was a bit mean tbh, because she liked that kind of stuff. I replied that I was too shy and this girl walks over to S and tells her to go talk to me because I liked anime but was shy.

S wanders over after class and we get to talking, finding out that we like the same older anime and one that was airing on tv at that time, Yu Yu Hakusho.

>>5056034

>a few days go by, Creepguy gon' creep
>really starting to stretch my patience

>one day, realize that all of my friends are absent for assorted reasons
>everyone except Creepguy
>awwwwwwwww fuck

>he plops down right next to me as usual
>you cannot imagine the awkward silence
>he breaks the silence with: "You're a really nice person."
Me: Thanks, [Creepguy].
>I kinda felt guilty about thinking so bad of him earlier, because he's really just trying to make friends, and he doesn't know any better

>buuuuuuttttt then he started giving me a shoulder massage out of nowhere
Me: Uh....dude...what are you doing?
Him: Everyone says I give good massages, just hang back.
>NO SIR I DON'T LIKE IT
>Because I'm not a wimp who lets things go way too far like 90% of horror story victims here, I snap right up and throw his hands off me
>I just...run out of the damn cafeteria

>next day, in the hallway
>talking with my boyfriend in the hallway
>we kiss a little
>look behind him
>Creepguy, standing at the end of the hallway...staring
>jeeeesssuuussss fuck this will not end well

>Next day at lunch, everyone's back, I decide not to mention yesterday
Him: "So was that your boyfriend?"
Me: "Huh? Oh, uh, yeah."
>He looks genuinely disappointed, and leaves the cafe
>He's gone from school the next two days

>Finally see him in the hall again
>Oh hey it's Creepguy no big deal juWAIT A SECOND WHAT'S HE DOING IN MY LOCKER
>He sees me and takes off, running
>I check my locker
>A picture of my boyfriend with his arms on the shoulder of another girl in the school courtyard

DUHN DUHN DUHN

tbc

>>5056104
2/?
So we continue to talk and get to know one another and find out that we both like to write and that she is writing a fan fiction involving YYH characters. We exchange stories and I read her YYH fanfiction. I should make a point her to say that it was actually tastefully done and was an interesting read. I did notice however, that the character Fuko, the pixie, bore a resemblance to dear S. Fuko was a buxom blonde that was light on her toes and who had Jin as her love interest.

I kept reading and figured that anyone who was not apart of the original series was most likely a friend of S. Upon giving the writing back to her I asked her about this and she said that yes the other characters were based off of friends. I thought that this was great since someone else also liked to place themselves in series and I thought that through this we could bond. If only I knew then what I knew now...

Later on in the school year S invited me over to her house, a ten minute walk from my place, after school in order to meet the other friends that existed in the story. Apparently these four had known each other since middle school and were really close. I felt incredibly lucky that she was including me in something. I was finally going to have a group of friends!

I arrived at her house and nothing was particularly weebish about her room. She had a few drawings pinned up over her desk that she had done but that was it. I met only one of the other girls that day, her name was A. While getting to know girl A, who was anorexically skinny with a hime cut in her brown hair and who was about 5'9", I kept hearing S and A call each other Pixie-chan and Neko-chan. I asked what they were on about and was told that they were nicknames from S's story.

>>5056146
MOAR, GOSH DARN IT.

>>5056147
Of course being the 14 year old weeb that I am I think that this is great. I tell them that it is amazing and carefuly try it out, not wanting to anger them because hey! I have friends now! They both welcome me calling them neko-chan and pixie-chan as well as names.
for S: pixie-chan, Fuko
for A: neko-chan, Mee-chan, Raikorai (or something)
In anycase they both decide that I now need a name for them to call me by. Well, we already have a pixie and a neko, which is fine by me, I didn't want to be either one of those. I think about it for a little bit and come up with Nixie (a water elf) because it's one of my favorite mythological creatures and I wouldn't mind being one. They then tell me that S's character controls wind and that A's character controls lightning and that I should control something. Naturally I pick water.
They tell me that we can now call each other these names whenever and this seems pretty great to me. I am now nixie-chan,or Merus (my story name for the fanfic that I now get a part in).

At a later visit we are joking around while reading Fruits Basket and calling A mee-chan. I joke that S and I need a regular name -chan, mee being the last part of A's name. However, S and I have similar endings to our names and we joke that she is then Ayame, I was Shigure and A was Hatori. Thankfully we did not call each other those names in public. At this point in time S tells me that I need a love interest in the fan fiction that she is writing. I, of course, tell her I want Kurama and she tells me that that is A's husbando. I shrug it off because I don't really care and instead chose Touya, big mistake.

>>5056146

>Anticlimax: The girl in the picture was my boyfriend's twin sister. They're pretty close, and me and her are good friends. If Creepguy had half a brain he would've known this.
>He really expected that this would make me break up with my boyfriend
>But then I realize
>This means that Creepguy took this picture without either of those two noticing
>Oh goddamn that is stalkerish
>Also realize that if he has the combination to my locker, he can tamper with it at will...and probably has the combo to my boyfriend's locker, too
>Run to my boyfriend's locker
>Open it
>Oh, god

Inside was a dead squirrel. A dead fucking squirrel. Just, what the fuck. No words, only bluaarrruugh.

>find my boyfriend
>says he smelled the stink in his locker, and he didn't want to open it in case it was something toxic or some shit
>tell him about Creepyguy
>we're both outraged
>we find out he got our combos from the friend that brought him to the table - she worked on the school paper, therefore had access to student records
>He said he wanted to "leave surprise gifts" for us, like Asperger Claus
>Fucking bastard
>Me and bf hunt him down after school
>We meet him
>I scream at him to knock it off with his damn shenanigans, that I am NOT interested in him, and he better damn well fuck off before we get authorities of some kind involved
>he stands there in shock, crying like a baby
>feel a little bit bad again, because you know, retarded puppy, etc.
>then

He fucking honks my boobs. Just gropes 'em right there.

So my bf socks him in the gut, and he goes down. Said he was gonna knock him in the kisser, but he didn't want to get sued for breaking a jaw.

Guy changed lunch periods, the friend that brought him into my life has abandoned his creepy ass, and whenever I -do- see him, he gets scared at the thought of consequences for his actions.

The end.

>>5056185
Where the fuck did he get a squirrel from?

>>5056185
she gave him the locker combos? Your friend's a fucking idiot

>>5056195

Well he WAS absent for two days.

It wasn't roadkill, so I think he killed it himself, with a BB Gun or something.

>>5056185
Thank you for making me believe /cgl/ could be interesting.

>>5056201

She's not dumb, the creep just played the "waaah I'm autistic, feel sorry for me" card, and she is one of those girls who can never say no to anyone.

>>5056184
4/?
S then tells me that I have to create a whole family for Merus and that I have to create history between Touya and myself. I just kind of look at her and then slowly agree. I kinda figured that she was a bit crazy at that point but wouldn't know how crazy until later. So this all continues until I get to meet the next two characters in this lovely fanfiction.

Their names started with S's as well so I will just call them by their character names, Synthae and Raykour. Synthae was a death demon of some type who had a relationship with Hiei and Raykour was just kinda there being some sort of sidekick to Synthae and controlling thunder...idk...
Synthae seemed to take an instant dislike to me and Raykour was so passive that I kinda wondered if she was on drugs. Anyways, I met them and we had an okay time, exchanged DA's (that I just refound) and continued on in life until Sophomore year.

>>5056203
All I can imagine is some kid hiding in a tree for two day fucking hunting squirrels.

>>5056185
>Inside was a dead squirrel. A dead fucking squirrel.

There...are no words.

>>5056255

Oh god, this would be the perfect mental picture if the guy wasn't so fat the tree would collapse under his weight.

>>5056257
I feel for you honey :( I had a very close friend in high school who did the same thing. Treated me like shit and abused my family to escape hers. I am now wary of Koreans, they puff themselves up too much and bring those around them down.

>>5056264
Well that's probably why it took two days,his fat ass kept breaking branches.

>>5056257
I eventually hung up the phone and went downstairs. My mom asked me if I was going over to S's and I broke down telling her what S had told me. She told me that I must have done something wrong. I replied that I didn't think I had done anything that awful.
Cue angst.
I call it that now because that is what it was. Yes S had stopped being my friend but A still talked to me, trying to fix things, and Synthae and Raykour tried to include me on things. That is until Synthae told a lie to A over MSN that made her tell me that I was the spawn of the devil and that I should kill myself.
I thought about it, the next day driving to school. I have to drive under an overpass and thought about crashing the truck into the concrete post.

I made it to school and broke down to my English teacher who had at that point been confusing me and S by name and which hurt me everything he did it. He led me to the councelors office and they called me mom who, when I got home, tried to comfort me, bless her heart.

>>be 11
>>go to my first anime con, super excited
>>walking around lonely and awkward for an obscene amount of time, occasionally asking people for pictures of their costumes, etc.
>>meet an overweight vocaloid cosplayer doing a shitty genderswapped Miku Hatsune
>>she's at least 16, but she hangs out with me anyways
>>I'm staying terribly quiet most of the time, still really nervous
>>she invites me upstairs
>>I say yes. Momentary retardation is my excuse.
>>we go, maybe three other people are there, but they're playing a video game
>>her and I are on the other side of the room. I get nervous.
>>she starts holding my hand and commenting on my breast size(I developed early)
>>try to make a run for it
>>she wraps her arm around my shoulder roughly and keeps me back.
>>somehow she ends up licking my face.
>>she licked my face.
>>she put her tounge on my chin and dragged it upwards, over my lips and nose and to the center of my eyebrows.
>>she licked my fucking face.
>>I escape, using some sort of goddamn magic brought on by sheer disgust.
>>Never see her again.

>>5056224
>Synthae and Raykour

So very googleable

>>5056292

Dangit man this dude put a dead goddamn squirrel in my boyfriend's locker, stop making me laugh so much about it.

>>5056304
S continued to avoid me and now I had no friends. I desperately turned to my classmates who had noticed that S and I had stopped talking. It came to head one day at lunch when she started talking about 9/11 and how it wasn't a big deal. Now, I will tell you now that my father works for United, it was a big fucking deal in my house. I slammed my fist on the table and turned to her (she was sitting behind me) and bitched her out about how she should have respect and how just because she was heartless didn't mean she had to spew her shit everywhere.
I realized we would never be friends again then.
The others in my class kinda ostricized her from that point and I didn't get help until senior year for my depression after completely breaking down and trying to throw myself through a wall.
I haven't talked to A, Raykour, or Synthae for 6 years now. S contacts me over facebook now and again to complain about her life. She seems to think that we have some sort of friendship. I usually tell her she's a bitch and brought whatever situation on herself.

I sadly, have never fnished YYH or Dragon Knights, bot she ruined it for me.

>>5056319
aw shit fool

>>5056319
Pffffft

That's troll art right? This whole thing is some super elaborate troll?

>>5056322
That really sucks. I didn't go through anything nearly as bad, but when I was in 8th grade I reached out to some girl who just moved here and offered for her to eat with us after she ate by herself for the first week. She joined Marching Band our freshman, then told me to never talk to her again. Never told me why. That was really distressing for me, especially with the lack of closure.

I can't imagine, but it must have been 10x worse with someone you were so close to. That must have been hard for you.

>>5056341
no she created that...
>>5056331
it was torture, but thank you for the sympathy.

>>5056322

you havent spoken to them for 6 years but do you realise that they still call each other synthae and raykour online? buahaha

synthae: http://depressedego.deviantart.com/
raykour: http://raykour.deviantart.com/

>>5056185

Thank you for actually having some (metaphorical) balls. Same can't be said for 95% of the people writing these stories.

Seriously, you people need to quit fucking worrying about hurting someone's feelings. You give these creeps an inch and they'll take a light-year.

>>5056382
I figured they probably still did...
http://fukothepixie.deviantart.com/
she hasn't updated for 3 years

>>5056321
I love making people laugh.

>>5056314
I know it doesn't change the horror of your story, but you were alone at a con at age 11??

>>5056185
>>He fucking honks my boobs. Just gropes 'em right there.

I laughed really, really hard because it was out of nowhere.

>>5056255
HUNGER GAMES

bump for more

>>5056184
My nickname for like 6 years was Ayame, because I love Iris's. So embarrassing, making it worse was every anime fan ever would associate it with ____character of whatever anime they liked most. Ugh.

>>5056185
I fucking lost it. That ending is god damn hilarious.

I feel sick, jesus

Part 1 (I seriously hope people get the joke/enjoy it)

Okay, so basically me and 3 other buddies go to this convention near Las Vegas, but we decide it would be a great idea to spend the night in Vegas just us 4 guys. Now I didn’t really know everyone all too well, but everyone assured me that we would be back in time for the convention. Okay, but it’s vital we’re back, see one of us, Doug, has a crucial spot in the masquerade and another one of us, Stu, has his partner waiting for him to work their booth in the artist alley (Mind you his partner is this bitch who totally started selling their products to another company) Anyways, we get there and then the last one of us, Alan, shows his true self. Basically, he becomes this totally new, crazy weeaboo always telling us to join his spirit wolf-pack and shit. I ignore him, but anyways, that night we all get drunk and when we wake up we can’t remember ANYTHING. Not only that, but with 1 more day until the convention, Doug is completely missing. Also, our super expensive hotel is trashed.

>Bottles and food and Alan’s hentai manga everywhere
>A stain Lolita dress on the floor and a girl sneaking out of our hotel
>Broken EVERYTHING
>A tiger in the bathroom
>AND A MOTHERFUCKING BABY with Naruto lines on its face

Part 2

So of course, we’re freaking out. We don’t know anything that happened, and so we go out to try to find the baby’s mother and Doug. We find out that I was checked into the hospital. We drive there, not in our car, IN A MOFOING POLICE CAR THAT WE APPARENTLY STOLE. Anyway the doctor sends us to some chapel. There we discover that Stu (Who by the way is missing a tooth) got married to some chick last night and when we see the pictures, it’s a Narutard Neko. OH LAWD. So anyways, we find her address and track her down. Jade- we discover her name is- says “OHHH DESU NYAA~~ STU CHAN I MISSED YOU AND LITTLE SASUKE-LIGHTPAW!!” Fucked up right? But anyways, she’s dressed in full out cosplay, terrible I may add, and while we’re trying to get info out of her, that dumbass weeb Alan is talking to her about their inner cats or whatever. Anyways, in the middle of Alan showing Jade how to contact their spirit animal, the cops break in through the door! They haul me, Alan and Stu to the police station. We are told if we wanna get out in time for the convention, then we’d have to let them taser us in front of a huge group of students. But Alan couldn’t just take the taser normally, oh no, he got the taser and stood there, un-blinking and screaming “CHIDORI 1000 BIRDS” until the officer tasered him again and he fell. We then went to the impound to get our, shockingly well-conditioned car back.

Part 3

So we drive the car around and suddenly we hear this banging coming from the trunk. Thinking its Doug, we open the trunk out. A barely naked Pixyteri comes out of our car and starts attacking us with a yaoi paddle before we can explain! Not only that, but as we’re driving the car back down the road, Alan decides to tell us he put drugs in our drinks on the roof, date rape cause he thought it was ecstasy which he wanted us to take so we would all pretend to be shinobi with him. WHAT A FUCKING DUMBASS. After this, we had no choice but to go back to our hotel room, and who do we find waiting for us? None other than VIC MIGNOGNA. Apparently that fucking tiger in the bathroom is his pet tiger, Ed. And we have to take it back to his house. So we stick some drugs in instant ramen to get the tiger asleep, though it wakes up in the car. We have to push the car (rather than risk driving with Ed swiping at us). When we get to Vic’s house, we push our way through the FullMetal Alchemist fan stuff to get to his TV. There he shows us security videos of us 3 and Doug all sneaking the tiger out of the mansion. Meaning Doug was most definitely still alive.
However, bringing our car back to the hotel, we are attacked by now fully-dressed but still unsmiling Pixyteri. She says we took her purse which had all her Tinerme credits in it- $8 000 worth. She also says she has Doug and if we don’t give her the purse then she’ll stab pocky in his eyes or something equally as horrible. So we take our troubles to wig-styling and as it turns out, Alan is a motherfucking wonderful wig stylist. So we make over $8000 off the people going to the convention the next day within the Vegas area and take it to Pixyteri at the decided place.

Part 4/Finale

So we give her the money and she takes Doug out of the car. But noo, this isn’t our Doug, this isn’t even the right gender (Though I can see how this person could be confused) it’s Peacock Feather. Great. Alan says THIS is the drug dealer who sold him the bad drugs. By now we had about 5 hours until the convention; PF says something about a yaoi scene on the roof of a building, making Stu realize Doug is on the roof!! So we rush there and Doug is indeed there! Not only that, but he has Pixyteri’s original credits for Tinerme with him. We speed back to the convention in our highly damaged vehicle and make it just in time for the masquerade, much to Doug’s fellow judges’ joy. Stu breaks his partnership with the person who he shared a booth within the artist alley, I was happy to see my wiafu at the convention and we all stayed the fuck away from Alan who had been the fault behind my major hangover.

(PS I sincerely hope this isn't stupid and sounds as funny as it did in my head)

He who shall not be named. All of the awards.

This is the best thing ever.