pretty much nothing, I'm a shut-in not working nor studying atm. I just browse 4chan and eat when I remember to.
Life is perfect.

Well... I'm at college (which is going well)
I got dumped recently which has made me feel fucking awful
I realised that I want to change the world
And I have a sudden obsession with Paramore...
So it's not that bad

I just started uni, it's pretty great. The only things I want out of life at the moment are my dream dress and a boyfriend.

Well, cheating mainly.

To clarify more clearly, I'm cheating on my girlfriend with several other girls I met online and have met up with.

I know it's an age old excuse but I still feel I love her in spite of my shitty behavior because I view these girls, even though I'm pretending to be in a relationship with a couple of them as fuck fodder and nothing more, whereas there's something more solid and loving about being with my actual girlfriend. It feels like a real relationship and I really do love her, love her company and we're more or less engaged by this point anyway.

I just wish I didn't have this insane sex drive that forces me into doing stuff like this, besides I don't want to do the kind of stuff I do to the girls I 'fuck' to the woman I 'make love to' if you guys understand me.

In before people call me a troll, just wanted to get that off my chest.

I'm studying for my last exam ever, which is next monday.

I'm pretty confident I'll pass the practical exam, but I'm really afraid of the theorical one.

And next Tuesday I start my internship. I really hope they have a decent schedule, because I don't want to stop going to my Japanese class and theatre rehearsals.

Once I pass this drive test on Thursday I will be starting a new job for FedEx Ground.

Dropped out of high school for like the 5th time. Just finished up AWA and I'm done with cons and cosplay... burning many many bridges with people. Trying to decide if I want follow through with my other options in life or just offing myself.
This is pretty much it.

>>5029481
If true, you're a horrible person.

>>5029481
I feel really sorry for your girlfriend, especially if she thinks you're loyal - I understand cheating isn't always black and white and it obviously isn't for you either, but still man.
Not even just your girlfriend, it's pretty horrid that you're stringing along other girls too. It all sounds terribly selfish and just lacking in compassion. Is your head really not stronger than your dick? One day this could bite you in the ass and you'll fall harder than you ever thought you would. And you'd deserve it.
Show yourself, your girlfriend, and those other girls some respect and try and sort it out - there's no real help I can give you over the internet, but it pains me to think of how badly you could hurt someone, and are hurting, with this behaviour.
It's one thing if you don't have a problem with polygamy and multiple sexual partners and all those involved feel the same. It's another when you're being a player and lying to people's faces.
I guess you don't need us to tell you that, but I really hope you can stop that somehow and come clean.

Oh, you know, not much. Trying to find a job so I can pay for school and cosplays and such.
Getting ready for Akicon this weekend, hanging out with friends.
The usual

>>5029481
Just because you love her and are only "fucking" the other girls doesn't make what you're doing okay. If you really love her, knock that shit off. Stop making excuses for your behavior and seek therapy.

If she finds out, she won't see it that way, especially if she goes and talks to those other girls and finds out you're acting like your in a relationship with them, she'll believe you have feelings for them. And you'll hurt her badly. My ex pulled similar shit, and I never really got over it.

I feel the best I've ever felt in years, if not my whole life. It's not a feeling of elation, nor does it need to be. Just feeling chill with everything.

Stupid relationship derps, as always.

For a bit of back story, Boyfriend of about 3 years now (Nym), decided that a polyamorous relationship was the best step towards having The Perfect Relationship about a year ago and so that was a thing. He pushed me to be affectionate with a mutual friend, which lasted about half a year and was chock full of guilt and "I don't really want this" and the like, while he ended up kind of with someone (Delta) he had repeatedly assured me was the least of my worries when I had asked Nym about his feelings for Delta in the past.
Stuff happened, got to the point where I either had to choose to leave Nym, come up with a rational reason for monogamy, or stay in the relationship as it was, and being unwilling to do the first and unable to do the second I was stuck with the third option.
Unfortunately, Delta and Nym's relationship is... less than stable, so I've had to deal with constant "You'll have Nym all to yourself again, I'm done with h--- OH NEVERMIND I LOVE HIM TOO MUCH" from the former. I don't know why it continues to bother me so much, but it does.
Worked out in the end, I suppose, ended up with a fantastic seagull boyfriend who has been nothing but patient with me throughout all of the more recent relationship dramuz.

In any case, last week Delta decided to break things off 'for good' with Nym, which made me far happier than it should've, and then decided "Nevermind I didn't really mean that" while I was out at the meetup yesterday.
Still don't know why it bothers me as much as it does... I feel like a terrible, selfish person for it though.

tl;dr - I'm a terrible person and suck at relationships and kind of want a hug right now.

Other than that, life's pretty okej though.

>>5029489
Maybe, I don't know. I just lose all reason when I get horny. I've always been like this and I've always been kind of unreliable as a boyfriend as a result, as well as engaging in some pretty crazy, messed up stuff when I was younger too that I'm uncomfortable going into on here.

I really want to change though.

>>5029492
I'm terrified of the truth coming out so I'm not going to come clean, at most I'd let the other girls go but I'm scared about them trying to get back in contact with me if I did that.

>>5029496
I'm sorry to hear that, and I know it would hurt her - I feel awful whenever she tells me that she's so glad she finally found someone who doesn't just want her for sex and things like that.

What did your ex do?

>>5029481
Who do you live with? Her? Someone else? Parents?

Preparing for fuckery for the next two weeks at my college:
Two group projects, on top of a very hard exam, and a book critique all going down before the 17th. Shit sucks.

In other news my birthday was last week (didn't really celebrate it until yesterday when everyone remembered it). No1curr'd about it unless they were notified by my Facebook about it, or were my mom and stepdad.
I would've been depressed had it not been for m boyfriend. He sewed me a Lady Rainicorn scarf from Adventure Time that came out quite good, and he got me a few games for the N64. Out of everyone, even my family (who just regifted me pre-opened things that had nothing to do with my interests/hobbies), I felt he was the most thoughtful.

I'd wanna spend some of the money I got on cosplay and lolita things, but I have to save the money for gas/food/more college things. It upsets me in some ways because it didn't feel like a "birthday" this year, but it's whatever.

>>5029533
We live together.

>>5029539
making this /cgl/ related
I had the same committment problems, and believe it or not what helped me out was cosplay sex. You can pretend she's another girl, a 2D one at that, that way. Do you two both cosplay? Anything from the same series or whatever?

>>5029547
I see, that's a good idea, my girlfriend fulfills all of my fantasies anyway even though she's kind of shy and reserved on the outside. That's one of the things that's so endearing about her because she said she'd only do those things for the guy she wanted to marry.

>>5029548
I travel around for my job occasionally (about twice a year) and I'm in a big city anyway, from where three of the girls I see are from. So we just meet up on weekends and I tell my girlfriend I'm going to see a few friends or something like that.

>>5029552
I love it when my posts disappear!
Makes sense. Does anyone else know what's going on?

>>5029552
post her tits or GTFO

Money troubles. I want to start buying lolita stuff, but tuition and books come first. I was going to rely on my tutoring job for income but the office recently faced budget cuts, so I can only work five hours a week now.

At least school work is calming down.

>>5029552
dude, tell her you love her, right now. Say she's the best girl you've had and you dont deserve her. She wont get the context or anything, just another things boyfriends say, but by saying it you'll know it's true and it'll probably help with your problem.

>>5029531
Had sex with lots of different girls, even now I don't know how many others there were in our times together. Most were just hook-ups, but he told me there was only one other and I believed that.

I'm a perfectionist, and the whole thing gave me self-worth and insecurity issues when it comes to relationships. I'm better now, but still working on it.

>>5029481
I am calling troll because not only are you getting people worked up to make this thread about you, but how stupid could one be to NOT see how to fix this problem?

Break up with her. Why? Because you're a pathetic sack of shit trying to seek validation for being a pathetic sack of shit.
You're fucking around with more than just her "feelings," while you sleep around with other women. God knows what kinds of horrible STD's and STI's you're bringing home to the "one you love" on your DICK, dude!
You wanna get some freaky infection from sleeping around with other women and making out with herpes-infested mouths? Fine and dandy, but don't get your innocent girlfriend involved.

The only reason why you have an "incredible sex drive" is because you haven't been caught...YET. You think you can keep getting away with it. If you knew your girlfriend had the chance of eventually catching you in the act, you'd stop. Oh yeah, you'd stop realllll quick.
You're not sorry for what you're doing. All I'm reading from you are crocodile tears because you're afraid of losing the pretty sweet deal of sleeping around with whomever you desire, while still having a loyal support to lean on when you get home.

>>5029573
She's out at the moment, I have the day off work today and she'll be working for another few hours (she works at a nursery).

But I will do when she gets back, thanks anon.

>>5029577
I'm sorry to hear that, I'd hate to put the woman I love through that, she's already really fragile due to the fact every one of her ex boyfriend's cheated on her, when she says she's terrified of me doing the same but glad I'm not like them, I feel awful.

How did he manage to cover all those girls up though?

>>5029584
I'm not going to defend my actions, I know they're shitty, and I know I'd stop as soon as she found out too. I'm careful enough not to get STDs though.

I do like the arrangement I have now too, I wish I could just stop doing it, but I can't.

>>5029481
I can't wait until you give her an STD. Hopefully you'll get AIDS because that's what you deserve for being a slut and I hope she gets it too. Clearly your girlfriend is retarded if she hasnt figured out what's going on. Oh wait maybe if you're super lucky you'll stay with her forever and you'll have a kid and the kid will be fucked up by an STD-that would actually be more favorable. Then you could look at your retarded infected kid and wife for the rest of your life. Goodluck!

>>5029593
Hey now, that's going too far. Insult me and wish death on me all you want, but I won't have you insulting my girlfriend. Understood?

>>5029600

Because you sleeping around on her is totally respectful amirite? You have no fucking place to talk.

>>5029592
honestly, you're just being selfish. don't ask the internets for forgiveness when you're not even interested in stopping. do the kind thing and get rid of her, every day you wait to pull the rug out from underneath her makes it worse. let her break her heart, get over you and meet someone who won't fuck her over.

i wish her the best.

>>5029592
>I'm careful enough not to get STDs though.

LOL. Whatever. Just make sure you go for STD testings twice a month. Or won't you because you're afraid to see if you've already got one?

> I wish I could just stop doing it, but I can't.
No, you can. Every man has the self-control to keep his dick in his pants, just like how every woman has the self-control to keep her legs closed. Unless of course you're not in the most perfect mental state. In which case, pay yourself a visit to a mental evaluation ward, or a shrink.

If you're not going to do either of these things, then there's nothing more to say to you. Just resign yourself to being the lowest form of scum on the Earth.

>>5029600
>insult my girlfriend.
>implying cheating on your girlfriend isn't enough of an insult.

>>5029600
>cheat on girlfriend
>post on internet board full of women
>surprised when hated

>Girl cheats on boyfriend
>OMG POOR THING YOU MUST HAVE SUCH A SHITTY BOYFRIEND TO MAKE YOU HAVE TO CHEAT ON HIM LIKE THAT

>Guy cheats on girlfriend
>OMG YOU FUCKING SUCK YOU HORRIBLE PERSON

Stay classy, /cgl/

>>5029610
>being surprised by this on a board full of women

It's the female /adv/ here.

>>5029610
I don't know about any other anons here, but neither of those circumstances are okay in my book. There shouldn't be double standards.

My theory is that people have more sympathy for a girl when she cheats because they assume she did it based on emotional reasons whereas a guy would cheat solely for physical purposes.
But, I digress...
>inb4 200reply argument
>cheating is not okay

>>5029600
they're only insulting your girlfriend because she enables guys like you. it's nothing personal.

>>5029613
>implying

>>5029600
Your girlfriend is fair game. You're cheating all over the place and she hasnt noticed, she has to be pretty fucking stupid to not know what's going on not to mention a piece of shit if you need to go around getting attention from other girls. She isnt good enough. If you can't fuck her the way you want then it's useless being with her. Go find a girl who can please you in all ways. Be sure to tell your girlfriend that you cheated on her before you leave her though, that way she'll realize how useless she is and either step her game up or give up and hang herself.

>>5029618
>implying I'm not right

>>5029620

>>5029623
>implying you aren't buttmad at the truth

i told my cat i'd cuddle it and only it
and then i cuddled my dog
does this make me a bad person

>have a big test today for Geology
>stay in all weekend to study
>wake up early today to study
>go to class
>sign on door
"Class cancelled"
>;______;
how about you OP?

>>5029629
Okay, you got me.

>>5029605
I once before, and once after I've had a fling or seen one of the girls I see.

And yeah, deep down I do have the self control, but it's fucking hard.

>>5029604
She deserves someone better than me as far as the cheating goes, I'm not going to deny that, but I want her for my own regardless.

>>5029606
I don't do it to intentionally hurt her.

>>5029609
Why, have ALL of you been cheated on or something?

>>5029617
How the fuck do you mean, enables?

>>5029619
She's just kinda naive as far as I go, she thinks I'm different from her ex's so she takes me on trust.

Oh fuck off, everyone criticizing this guy is a damn hypocrite. You need only go to /soc/ to see what your average seagull is like: A slutty, whorish camwhore who meets men off the internet and fucks them.

Nerdy girls are TRASH.

Ugh I don't know what to say, I fell in love with this girl on the internet and she holds none of the same feelings back, I'm using just the chance that I might get to meet her as a way to improve myself but well, realistically I know it will never happen. I've told her to just tell me plain and simple to tell me that I have no chance with her to just stop or at least try to stop all these feelings I have and all this hope I have for maybe trying to date her. But well, she doesn't want to say it, she says that "things can always happen" which tears me up inside because it keeps that hope alive but the problem is we live so far apart and well, it just wont happen.

I just wish I wasn't such a big bitch to be honest. She knows how I feel and how I'm using the chance to meet her as a way of self improvement but well, she says it would be stupid to remove my own way of motivation but I kind of see it as if it's removed now, I can find a more healthy source of motivation. Also I feel that if I do get better and she eventually says there is no chance, all the progress I have made would just collapse because I would just get depressed.

Sorry for ranting on /cgl/

>>5029643
Did some nerdy girl cheat on you and camwhore with a bunch of dudes or some shit?

Sorry, not all femanons camwhore, cheat, and meet men off the internet to fuck.
9/10, got me to respond

sick. sick and I have to go class. ._.

want to stay home. can't.

If you stop responding to this garbage they'll stop making these shitty /soc/ threads.

>have shitty job
>looking for slightly less shit job
>require slightly less shit job to rent place and live paycheck to paycheck

Oh, and I'm a permavirgin friendless loser but I'll be damned if I can't get the "Flat/Apartment with no people and an internet connection" dream to come to true.

Just gotta play the hand you're dealt I suppose.

>>5029639
Yeah, so she's stupid and can't put two and two together. I mean HONESTLY this is working out for you because you have a sweet girl who will never leave you because she loves/trusts you while at the same time being batass blind which means you can do whatever the fuck you want and she'll never know. I can see why you stay with her. A person like you NEEDS a stupid bitch. A pathetic whore who will let you get away with anything.

"I'll stop when she catches me"

No you won't. You'll sit there and watch her sob for a while then you'll go fuck someone else, come home, and fuck her again. Whatever emotions she has doesn't matter to you. It's almost like she isnt human, right? Do you really think you love her? She's that 'save' spot in a video game that you check into to make sure things will be alright no matter what. To ensure that no matter what happens you're still the winner. She's not a person. Well, you don't treat her like one-so isnt that the truth? I think you think she's different because she makes your heart flutter. Your reality is that she isnt. She's just another fuckhole with a mouth that isnt occupied with cock and she's probably one of the stupidest girls one could ever meet. I'd say I sympathize with her, but all of it is her fault anyway. If she knew how to please you properly she wouldn't be in this position. Hasn't she been cheated on before? Clearly the common factor in this equation is her. She deserves everything you're doing and everything that happens to her as a consequence of what you're doing.

>>5029459

Well, currently I'm reading this thread and laughing at that cheating story and its replies. Aside from that, I just quit attempting to get that Big Bang achievement easteregg on the zombie map Moon. We all rage quit after that last match because we were nearly done and then a QED ruined everybody's day. Sigh, I can't even remember how often we've played this map by now. There's always something that keeps coming up. Like tunnel 6 never getting breached. Not getting the weapons you want. Astronaut zombie spawning in our midst while filling the tubes... Etc, etc. And then aside from all that, it's also due to two team mates who somehow get distracted way too quickly, causing them to go down for silly stuff which then ruins everything. Ah well. We'll get it someday.

Have also been playing the BF3 Beta. Huge fucking bugfest, but for some reason still enjoyable. Recon class is godly. Bringing death to all by sniper.

>>5029672

Aside from gaming, there was school. I overslept today so I missed out on two classes. They weren't really important, but I still felt a bit bad. A girl sat next to me during one of the classes I did attend. She was nice and we were having a conversation about nothing really. But it didn't go anywhere, because I wouldn't know how to anyway. Still, it was kind of fun to talk with her. Even if she's not the most intelligent one.

After school I went to the gym and broke a new PR on squats. It felt glorious. Even though now my legs feel bad. Very, very bad. Stairs are demonic inventions. Aside from the legs, bench was okay. Barbell row was great, but now a new PR. Will probably get one next week.

Oh, and I've also recently been making some decisions in regards to my very first cosplay ever. I've been lurking here for some time now, yet never was really doing anything cosplay wise. So that felt a bit bad. But now I've got my very own project. Babby's first cosplay. Now to see if I can actually put it together. Considering I don't have any sewing skills or designing skills in general.

And, well, that's all I can think of for now. So now you people can continue with this discussion.

>>5029669

>>5029652
Just go to /soc/. None of the girls there have any respect for themselves.

Life is good! Losing weight still, plateau is gone as I lost 7lb this week somehow. I didn't even change my diet, it just went out the window.

Uhm, University is good, meeting people this year unlike the last. Studies are going well.

Sorting a trip to Russia next year with a girl I kinda like. Might ask her out next week. Eitherway, life is good. Hope you lovely guys and gals get everything in a positive light. Y'all deserve the best!

I feel nearly bad posting this on an anonymous website but damn I need to get this off my chest.
I'm in university, second year out of three, and I don't have classes on Thursday or Friday. My job's only every other Saturday and I'm starting to get very very bored.
Usually I'm already one lazy fuck but I'm getting such a lack of motivation that I don't even want to try and do my homework anymore. It's also really bad that I'm slowly starting to stoop as low to depressing thoughts, because I seriously don't know what to do with myself anymore.

I hate feeling like this, I hate feeling depressed over absolutely nothing, and I can't tell anyone because this is just ridiculous. I honestly don't know what to do about these thoughts though.

>>5029708

You need to think positive! Just consider - you're at University, you're working and you're healthy. Those three are things are amazing to have in this day and age!

As for your boredom, you need to think of finding something to do that you enjoy. Go out with your friends, join a society, chill outside and just watch the clouds pass, read a book... It's difficult to try and do but it helps with those thoughts, first hand experience!

I wish you well <3

I had a good weekend! I spent Friday with my boyfriend for his birthday (made him sugar cookies with bacon on top instead of cake and he loved it). I'm giving his gift to him on Tuesday when it comes in from the mail. Saturday was just a day to be lazy with the boy, smoke and watch him play Fallout. Then we went out to dinner, came back and hung out more. Yesterday, I went to my parents house really early (they live half an hour away), had breakfast with them and went shopping with my mom and basically got a wardrobe makeover. Yay not just t-shirts in my wardrobe anymore! Then I went back home, hung out with the boyfriend, drank some beer (my mom bought me a 12 pack of Newcastle and a 12 pack of Octoberfest for the boy), studied a little bit for a test today before going to bed. I leave for class in an hour, then have class until 3:45, then a break, and then a test at 7. After the test (we're allowed to leave after), most likely going to go see my LARPing friends, since they have fighter practice at the same exact time that I have class.

The rest of this week is one more test on Thursday, Knott's Halloween Haunt on Friday (can't wait to see my friends on streets/in mazes), then a party on Saturday at my house for one of my friends. I'm excited as fuck for this weekend. Also, My birthday is in 23 days, so I'm excited about that. Fuck yeah turning 21.

>>5029708
get a hobby, perhaps? do you already have a workout routine, because your schedule sounds perfect for that and it helps combat depression.

>>5029710
Gosh. Thank you so much for being so nice.
I actually know this, I've gone through it before, but it gets difficult when most friends also have school/university to worry about and live an hour by train away. I don't want to bother anyone because basically, there's nothing wrong.

I just feel like I'm doing everything wrong. I used to enjoy reading or writing, and now I feel like I just can't even live up to the expectations of myself anymore. Same with cosplay, actually. Ugh.

Thank you for the advice though, I'm glad there are such lovely people out there.

>>5029719
I think I actually should get a workout routine. I'm in good health, thankfully, but I really should get off my ass and do something. Any tips for that?

>>5029723

I can help with that as that's exactly what got rid of my depression.

There is a lot you can do really but what is your aim? Endurance, strength, looks?

Either one has different routines you could do! If you wanna talk over a messenger there is that, or you can just mail me. I love penpals either way!

>>5029481
I see what you're getting at, since I'm pretty much the exact opposite (i.e., no sex drive whatsoever) and I still love her completely even if I'm not interested in her (or anyone else, really) sexually.

>>5029735
Well first of, I wouldn't want to bother you with me constantly talking nonsense, but I would love to just chat with someone new. If you have time that is.

>>5029758

No bother at all! My mail is above, send me a messenger or we can just keep it with e-mail. Born to help people, so look forward to a mail!

>>5029765
Woops okay. I tried to add you, I hope that worked? Or if that's okay with you.

One of the bad things about my mom is that she's not fully mentally stable...and gets into these irrational states.

I got a cold from being underdressed in the cold and on and off sleet at the Ren Faire Saturday and my mom yelled at me to stop being pitted about being sick (we were there so long due to my friend being self absorbed) and told me to stop acting like this because I was doing it to punish her, and why wasn't I thinking of her feelings. When she gets like this, she's like a teenager. I'd asked her out to lunch with my boyfriend and I so she wouldn't have to eat alone, and then she refused to let me go to the bank and do some things I needed to do.

I mean, I'm glad she didn't tell me she hates me as a person like she usually does, but I spend so much time hiding my feelings, trying to put her first, and avoiding conflict. I know I fail as a caretaker for this, but I can't hide it all the time. Especially when she forces me over and over to drop whatever plans I had for this friend because "she has no car" and a ton of other reasons.

It's selfish, but I'm the one who actually busts my ass for her. I want my needs to matter for once. I'm suppose to go to class tonight, but seriously considering skipping. I'm sick, I've been working on homework for days straight aside from cgl and ren faire, and I just don't feel like I can deal with shit.

Wah wah wah.

I'm repeating a school year at a school which I thought would be full of other repeaters, but the majority of people in my class are three years younger than me and all through the first few days that put a sort of gap between them and I. People grouped into cliques quickly and before I realized it (after about two weeks) people were already firmly in their own little groups, and some of them already knew each other. I'm a fairly shy person anyway but will gladly talk to people if they talk to me yet I just can't strike up conversations with other people first. Even if I shakily say 'hi' while walking into a room and there's a small group there they'd say the same and that'd be it. I do some work but can't bring myself to join in on the conversation as I feel like it's too late. It's only the start of the fourth week and I feel like it'll be like this until June. Hell, today a guy I talk to there (who actually talks to everyone) who is a busybody and has no tact said, 'I feel kind of sorry for you the way none of the girls seem to talk to you'.

Usually I'd just say 'fuck it' and hang out with my own friends at the weekend or meet them for tea during lunch but most of them have gone abroad for the year as part of their various uni courses so I'm not really left with anyone. Sure there's facebook but I'm too sadfrog.jpg to go on it half the time and while my friends are telling me AMAZING stories of their trips abroad I can't say how ronery I feel because that'd be petty as fuck and raining on their parade.

>>5029793
I wonder if this is repeating a year in high school still, or university? If it's high school.. It's a year, probably, and then you'll be done. You can look forward to doing other things, with other people, and hopefully study for your own interests.

It's really a shame that your peers are younger than you but you honestly shouldn't feel like it's too late to communicate with them! I'm sure you're a lovely person, and striking up conversation is hard, but you must always remember that you have friends already right? They surely like you, I'm sure other people will as well.

There's an issue of shyness, but if you really want to change something, just start with a few casual chats of how their weekend went and such. It's difficult, yes, but it's definitely not too late to try. And your friends are your friends for a reason, if they ask you how you've been, you can always tell them you're a bit lonely.

I'm trying to decide if I want to stay in school or abandon a full-scholarship. School makes me really unhappy, I never go to class, and as horrible as it would feel to throw away this opportunity, I really feel it should go to someone who wants it.

On the flipside, I doubt I'll be able to live on a minimum wage job.

I also have developed my first internet crush. How do you people do htis regularly?! It's hard knowing he's so far away.

>>5029784
I'm so sorry to hear that. But I must tell you, you're a wonderful person for putting up with so many things from your mom. It's really strong and I admire that.

You should be able to think of yourself every once in a while, surely you must have friends who like you and who want to be with you. If you decide to screw college for a day, then do so. It seems like you're at your end.

Don't give up though. You're wonderful for just doing all of this for your mom. I know that the oldest advice is to do things for yourself, and just let your mom down every once in a while, but I'm sure you know this, and I'm sure it's hard.

Yaaaay got back from the doctor's office.
My iron and B12 are dangerously low, and I need to start taking pills or get a B12 shot every month.
My doctor sucks so hard though. I asked if he would be willing to help me manage my pain (my disorder's symptoms include horrible pain that doctors have compared to renal failure/end stage renal cancer pain) but he gave me a medicine I'm already on, and can buy at the pharmacy. Most doctors have no clue about what the disease is even is, and know far less about how to treat it.

Tons of the women and men in my support group are using percocet, vicodin, oxycontin, morphine, or methadone to relieve pain. I'm stuck with naproxen and advil right now. Fuck, even T3s would be better than this bullshit candy medication.

>>5029984
That B12 injection is a bitch. It's big red and gloopy.
I have them every three months,

May aswell contibute :-

>Find out I'm epileptic after a bang on the head,
>2 years later finally stop having seizures as I'm on the right medication
>End up in hospital after bleeding profusely out of my arse (Pleasant right?)
>Find out may have crohns disease
>Can't eat anything dairy, meat, spicy or processed as it comes out literally 10 minutes later
>Currently having a flare up, unable to drink water without shitting, another two days like and my GP is sending me to hospital.

Other than that all is well and dandy.

Well, I am currently trying to befriend this one girl I like, but unfortunately during the same weekend I started talking to her I had all hell break loose on my families end and it made my mind do cartwheels due to stress and I fear the aftereffects of this have left a bad impression on her, so now I sit here pondering what words I could use to try to fix said situation. I'm not quite good at these types of things, but I suppose it can't be helped.

>>5030047
You could simply say "Sorry if I seemed a bit brusque/grumpy/weird this weekend. My mind was preoccupied with family trouble, and it had nothing to do with you personally".
A lot of my friends and family are upfront like this, and it makes things so much easier for someone as socially awkward as I am. I don't know your situation, though, maybe she's too much of a stranger to mention any kind of personal problems to.

I got two hours of sleep last night, and less than 20 in the past week.

Fuck having to wake up at college at 7AM, yet not being able to fall asleep until 3-5AM. Plus I go to the gym to lift weights monday, wednesday, and friday, so shit's probably killing my gains.

>mom died 4 months ago
>been stressed as fuck
>finally got my massage therapy appointment done with after 6 months of going without
>will have to reschedule again soon because the 30minutes wasn't enough to get the knots out
my back is feeling a bit better now, but it's still far from 100%. usually my guy gets most of the big ones out, he did a great job as usual but there's still plenty this time

>>5030019
I think I'd tolerate the injections a bit better, since it doesn't pass through my digestive system.
I can relate, although I don't have crohn's. It's similar, but with my bladder, not backside.
>drink decaf tea and eat an apple
>pain for hours afterwards, pee like a chihuahua
Can't eat spicy, dairy, soda, tea, coffee, processed junk, preservatives, most fruit, anything with high acidity. Everything seems to end up in a flare.

Are you on medication for crohns, and have they given you anything for pain? IIRC it's not like celiac, where you can just manage it with diet, you need other treatments too yeah?

>>5030122
Anon I am so sorry to hear that.
Do you have support from other family and friends?
Have you thought about seeing a grief counselor, and getting into some relaxation classes? Yoga and meditation might help with your stressed out back.
Sending e-hugs for you.

>>5029723
My favorite workout isn't really a workout at all, more like a lifestyle change. I have an mp3 player full of really invigorating music and a small set of dumbbells. I do some squat, curl, press combinations until I feel a little burn then take a brisk walk with my music. For me, they key is walking no matter what the weather is like, when I go out in the cold/rain/sleet, I feel more like I've accomplished something, hence lessening my sense of idleness. A pair of dumbbells you can easily work with while still getting your heart rate going is also a great thing to leave by your work area, just throw in a few arm curls every once in a while as a page loads or something.

>>5030191
thanks
I do, although I've been at the point for a while where I just want to get on with my life and not be expected to cry everyday. It gets really awkward when someone brings it up. ex: "how have you been doing with the whole situation, is your dad ok? It must be hard I can't imagine"
I did twice but I don't really like going to psychiatrist and the like, I already know everything they're going to say, so it doesn't do much for me.
Though I'm finally getting a gym membership(not for weight loss) so hopefully my back won't get so tight again. last time I left it alone, I tore and strained some muscles in my back and had to take t3's. Ever since then my back has been just awful.

Well I messed up on my stats exam earlier. I studied a good amount of time over weekend and was feeling great up until I realized that I had taken the majority of my time on the first few questions and ran out of time before getting more than half way. Now I’m just trying to review for another exam later this week and a debate I haven't even prepared for. As of lately I’ve been having some sexual dreams involving one of my closest guy friends. I feel like I’m actually developing feelings for him but I’m already with someone I would never want to cheat on.

I'm socially awkward, so I have a hard time meeting people and getting them to like me. So I have difficulty in the friend making department... And I'm gonna be totally forever alone. I think I'm a nice person once i get to know someone... But no one wants to get to know me because I make an awkward initial impression. Feels bad man.

Also I need a job. Like so freaking bad. It's not even funny how broke I am right now. Oh good lawd.

I've gained weight (probably water weight/muscle) but it just feeds into my ever-growing eating disorder. I've been eating 1600-1800 calories, which is decently under my maintenance, but i feel like every calorie i take in above 1400, it turns into fat.

I need to increase my mileage on my bike, trying to train for a 60 mile race this month. Don't know how i'm going to do it. but i'm going to try.

I keep eating shit when i go mountain biking. It personally doesn't bother me because i like the challenge, but my father told me hes going to take me on 'easier' rides from now on so i don't continously beat myself up (my legs look like a war zone)

I'm trying to branch out and meet people and socialize, but its a little harder than i thought because NO ONE my age lives near me, or they all smoke dope/do drugs/are always drunk/ are boring, and the people my age who i actually like are across town, i don't have a car, i can't bike there, and they wont visit me.

And finally, my stomach issues are acting up and its really hard to even stay motivated to eat. Or i just say fuck it and eat junk like bread, simple carbs and fat because its the only foods that don't upset my stomach.

TL;DR whine whine whine oh god i'm such an angsty teenager, waaahhh.

I don't have very intense feelings for anything really, not school, not my family, not my boyfriend, not cosplay nothing. I wish I felt more for my boyfriend though he's attractive and calm and makes a decent living but I still don't have very intense feelings for him. I don't have any feelings for anyone else either so it's not like I want to date anyone else either. I don't hate him or anything I just feel very meh about him as if he stayed in my life that'd be cool but if he wasn't in my life that'd be cool too.

I hardly feel anything and I wonder who wants to be saddled with such a feelingless blob as a friend or girlfriend anyway...

>>5030284
Kill yourself, it's the only way.

>>5029644
For anyone who thinks they could help, does anyone know how I could break myself away from this girl and like "un fall in love" with her?

>>5029644
>>5030298

Sorry to say, but... It sounds like she's leading you on, bro. Unintentionally or otherwise.

As for how the "un fall in love"... Eh, I don't think that's quite possible. Perhaps meeting an even better girl?

But if she's really having such detrimental effects on you, the best would just be to forego all contact. Just a thought.

What I would do is basically tell her that this can't go on any longer and that it's either everything or nothing. And if she indeed replies with "nothing" just remove yourself from the internet, go do some awesome adrenalin inducing stuff in real life and just get your thoughts off of her.

But hey, that's just me. And I ain't no expert.

I CAN'T GET THIS DELICIOUS MOTHERFUCKER OPEN

I got banned because some fug gordita is jelly.

>>5030427

a few years back, i snubbed a really awesome dude after leading him on because i was retarded or something. too immature for a relationship, i guess. it was my own fault and there's nothin i can do about it. feelsbadman.

>>5030438
a jelly gordita sounds kinda good, honestly. can it have peanut butter too?

>>5029459

I'm sitting behind my laptop, doing absolutely nothing productive.

>>5030180

Sorry about the late reply, but yeah, /toilet troubles

Check us with our fucked up diets! Although I'd be devastated without fruit aswell. It'd mean living on tofu and boiled rice / other exciting combinations,

And not yet, my gastroentrologist(sp?) only decided it might crohns early August. And now it's the tedious process of pin pointing whereabouts it is in my body (Apparently it can anywhere from the mouth to anus) and catching my bowels all angry, which is a lot harder to do than I thought it'd be! I mean if I could waltz into my local hospital and say "I've just had the shits and bled for several hours straight, could you please investigate." It'd be a-okay, But I seem to have been called in when it's all settled down and normal.

TL;DR Hospital has provided my Gastro with enough evidence yet for him to put me on medication.

Bein lonely. Kickin' dirt around :<
I don't know why but I can't stop thinking about wanting a relationship and I can't even be with myself for a while without getting all depressed. Even things I used to enjoy for myself I feel like I'm just doing for other people. I think I've completely lost touch with myself.

>>5030478

Wish you the best, getting yourself back in touch with life can be difficult. I know you can do it!

>>5030427
That cheered me up :)
thanks

>>5029459
I'm pissed about my soda, but I'm glad it cheered you up hahaha.

I have more.

I got a ton of stuff to do and I'm so burnt our from doing so much stuff previously for 14 hour days for two months that I no longer want anything to do with stuff but professors love stuff and treat you like their stuff is the only stuff you have to do and GOD FORBID you shouldn't have four exams and three projects due in three days two of said projects you're not even provided all the info for until 5 days before they're due. holy ballshitcuntfuck.

>>5030513
Here, take my cat, he will open it for you.

Life's good, man. Might choke a bitch sooner or later if anyone gets all up in my grill, but other than that, I'm cool~

Brb, 6 hours of history homework.

>>5030460
Sorry to hear that :< It took me 7 years to get properly diagnosed, mostly because it's really unheard of, and the doctors thought I was lying about the searing pain I had.
I did NOT know you can have the disease throughout, even in your mouth.
I hope you can get some relief soon!

Bought 5 acres of land. I'm in the middle of getting a building permit for my house. Got a promotion at work.

Stuff's pretty good.

>>5030540
Thank you, it's a fucking nightmare at the moment. But yeah /medical advances. Hopefully they'll sort it soon. I'm just sick of people saying "Well I've got IBS it can't be that what you're going through." ... My Aunt's the worst for it. Seriously. IBS and IBD are two different things.

Family issues everywheeree. My parents can't handle their problems themselves,like trying to solve things by talking, without getting into a fight(not physical, but there's so much yelling it's ridiculous). Living with my parents has started to drag me down and I wish I could get an apartment soon, but with the hours I have, the waiting time for an apartment it's not gonna happen. I wish I could get more hours, because then I wouldn't have to think about it as much. It probably wont happen because of the budget the store gets. It's one of few distractions, besides the gym though....
I've been trying to look for a second job or a full time one with a nice pay, but no luck.

I wish I could hug all of you. Here's to better days ahead, everyone!
Shine on, you crazy diamonds.

I'm in a tough spot. I think I'm in love with a girl (I at least want her to be happy and to be there with her), we've made out and cuddled before, but she has a boyfriend. Now, she's so awesome, and it feels like it's more than just a physical thing and I really just want her to be happy and to relax, but I'm afraid that I might end up making her life worse due to this. But she makes me happy too and I love being around her too. I also don't know if her boyfriend is renting out their apartment too or just hanging around (it's shared with other students). If the former, I doubt he'll be going away any time soon.

I mean, fuck, what do? On the one hand, I made a girl cheat and added a pile of guilt on her plate but on the other, the moments we have ("intimate" or not) are some of the greatest my forever alone ass has had. Thoughts?

>mfw I try to figure out what to do

>>5030574
Ahahaha wow no way! I also have IBS, alternating pattern, but it's livable and for the most part, painless. Can also be completely controlled by diet.
Have you mentioned to your aunt that there's a big difference that's tangible unlike subjective pain? BLOOD. If you have IBS and are bleeding, it's probably not IBS unless there are hemmorhoids.
I hate when people try to say "it's the same!" with diagnosis's.
>sad =/= depression
>anxiety about tests =/= anxiety disorder
>chronic upset stomach =/= inflammatory bowel disease
>asthma =/= emphysema
and so on
When my family and friends were first told about my disease, they went crazy with it.
>well I pee a lot too
Really? At my worst I go 60 times a day
>sometimes I get cramps
No, I do not have cramps. I have HOLES in the lining of my bladder, a good deal of the pain is neuropathic(I think that's the right word).

It's just ridiculous.

I found out that my ex never took away my 'maintainer' position on the LJ community I helped her manage even though we're not on speaking terms.

On one hand it's full of cliquey cunts who deserve to get their private big kid playground fucked up, but on the other someone will inevitably confront me and I don't want to deal with that.

>>5029459
Did some chores, cleaned the house. Just drew some pics of Lion-o. In life, I'm taking courses at the Animation Guild which is fantastic and I'm learning tons! I'm hopefully gonna spend the next two months putting together a good portfolio and apply to Cal Arts. Time for lots to do and lots to work!! GUNS ABLAZING!

Well, I just finished a job interview for Chapters, which I am very happy of. But. Also am going in for eye surgery on my right eye to get rid of two stys.

>>5030019
jeeze, that really sucks. i don't know anything about that condition, but i really hope everything gets better for you.

>>5030734

>two

my god, I had one once and it was horrible. I hope your recovery is swift!

Nobody listens to me. Nothing I say ever matters. I speak up, and nobody listens even then. Nothing I say is remembered or acknowledged.

So then I shout, they hear me, and say "Gee, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

I can't win. Maybe I can get a job where silence pays well. Either that, or I'm good at sneaking up on people/sneaking into places.

I have never dated anyone before, but I have this guy friend that we seem to do that awkward smile, glance at the ground, and make chit chat flirt thing going on when we are alone. Another friend of mine says they always pictured me and my guy friend ending up together and its odd because some times I can see myself married to him too. I have thought about asking him out but I don't want to for a few reasons. Like the fact he was the first kiss of one of my friends and then he would probably end up mine too. He isn't the most attractive man, he is starting to bald and he isn't fit or anything. He could probably be good looking if he tried though. He is the nicest guy I've ever met though. We dress up together to drink tea. He is bit of a push over and will let a giggly bunch of girls put make up on him. His goal in life is to be a father. He once said he wish he could marry rich so he could be a stay at home dad. I want a romantic man but I've only seen him go out of his way once to be romantic. He brought a rose to his girlfriend on her birthday, but that was years ago. I'm scared that we'll start dating things will go really wrong and that we wont be the best of bros any more. I'm also scared that thins will go perfectly because I would have never been with anyone else and will always wonder if I made the right choice. Not to mention that I'm worried that the nice guy act is just an act and that deep down he is just like all his guy friends

>>5030760

STEAL ALL THE QUEENS JEWELS

>>5030721
Have some Lion-o

No job and a massive headache-hangover thing from sleeping in too long for the last month. No real hope to find work around here.

Doing well in school, got a raise at work, cosplays are coming along. Life's going pretty awesome.

>>5030757

Thanks. I have an eye condition that makes me sensitive to bright light and prone to stys.

I'd really like to start dating again. I'm in the right place, and it be nice to go out on a date or have a SO. There's no one really around that I'm interested in. It's not a major bummer or anything, but it be great if I met someone nice and could go out.

I pulled my tampon out too early

>school
basically, i have a 3.36 and in my third year. afraid i won't be able to get into grad school.

>work
tl;dr finally got a job and am afraid i'm going to get fired

>friends
lol, i seriously have none.

>love life
in a ltr with a guy who is getting more distant. compared to his exes, i THINK i'm getting royal treatment despite the constant downgrading, but i'm suspicious he's flirting with other girls. i think he treats unattainable girls better than people he's dated 'cause he's a shallow asshole. at the same time, i find myself being super harsh on him and holding him to standards that are probably too high... i feel like i'm kind of breaking him. it seems like he loves me more than i love him, yet i pay more attention to him and treat him better than he does to me (even though i am really mean.)

aaand going to the gym more, but i've kind of stopped pole dancing. i should go do that now.

>>5030883
>3.3 GPA

Why the fuck couldn't you get into a standard grad school, unless you're shooting for a competitive or Ivy League one?
As long as you retain above 3 you should be good.

I just got fired. I was almost over it, but speaking with my dad made it worse and now I'm back to crying. Told me some shit I really did not need to know right now.

Hopefully I'll be able to pick up another two jobs quickly. The suicidal shit I'm feeling is...weird. I'm self-aware to how ridiculous the feeling is, but that doesn't help with dealing with it.

Money is really my only issue. Not that I don't have enough of it now, but last year I didn't have a job for a long time and fell behind on student loan/credit card payments. As a result I have two charge offs and a handful of late payments on my credit report. I need to move into an apartment closer to work come this January, I'm moving with my boyfriend. I'm worried my credit will make it damn near impossible for us to find a place to rent.

>>5030936
were you the anon who posted here yesterday right after you got the call? what happened?

>>5030893
speech therapy is pretty competitive, it seems. i'm going to try really hard to do well on the GRE's, but i'm a poor test taker for sure.

>>5030936
i hope you feel better, anon. i'm sure you'll find a job. i wish i could tell you how to deal with it. maybe play with a dog or cat. that shit always cheers me up

I kicked out of my parents house. Got my car taken away from me.

I have to choose living with my boyfriend, or family but never being able to see my boyfriend.

I make a living, as a nurse. Mother accuses my boyfriend as a dog abuser, loser, frugal, & deceiving. My mother doesnt know him. Also bitched how I dont do shit in the house (I have 3 jobs and volunteer to help her clean houses for free) FUCKING BULLSHIT. I told her i'd do my own laundry.

He isnt fucking any of that. His fucking dad is letting me borrow his car for work. He loves dogs, makes more money than my mom and doesnt deceive.

I want my mom to fucking stay out of my business, give me my car that I was paying for back and fucking let me be independent and live for myself.

I'm depressed and super mad because my younger brother who has some mental disease or something went into a blind rage, got out his baseball bat, and hit my dog.
What was his rage about? He couldn't figure out how to play his fucking baseball game on the PS3. He killed my dog over some game.

Me&my sister told our mom tons of times he needed mental help, primarily after several attempts to kill us. At one point I told him I didn't want to have a pillow fight with him because it would end badly, so he chased me around the house with a bat and I ended up locked in my room, him beating against my door with a bat for a few hours because nobody was home.
It's bad when I'm scared to be home alone with my brother because of fear of death.

I just hate him so very much.

>>5031006
Please be joking, please tell me he didn't fucking kill a dog over a game. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?

What the fuck, something has to be done about him, seriously.

>>5031006
I don't even know what to say. That's just insane. That brother of your's needs some serious help. This dog incident alone should be more than enough evidence of that.

Homework homework homework, but atleast I get to see Epic Meal Time this week at my school.

I also am getting to that point where it's kinda sorta really been too long since I was in a relationship...

So I'm catching up on my college work for a "digital journalism" class, which means I'm writing blog posts like mad, many of which involve news or commentary on news (naturally.)

One quick glance at TIME and the NYT put me into a fucking frothing rage for a few hours of hate-filled writing. It is absolutely fucking amazing how the institutions everybody sucks off as the GREAT AND MIGHTY PILLARS OF PERFECT SHINING TRUTH JUSTICE AND JOURNALISM spew political opinions IN EVERY OTHER FUCKING SENTENCE.

This isn't "bias," this isn't "shoddy journalism," no this is "AND THIS ARTICLE MEANS THAT POLITICAL PARTY IS BAD AND OURS IS RIGHT FOREVER AND EVER AMEN." They don't even bother to hide it anymore and then they turn around and tell us they're the NEWSPAPER OF RECORD.

Can you fathom, for one second, the fucking ARROGANCE of these motherfuckers? They really think their shit doesn't stink.

>>5031066
I know that feel, lol.

Same thing that's always going on with me: nothing.