Money. Trying to get enough together for Akicon (which I have handled now), then to my trip to Mississippi, then for cosplay and Sakuracon... I know I should be able to do it, I'm just....anxious easily.

I lost my job in an unnamed investment bank a few months ago, I'm unable to motivate myself to find another job. I feel like shit constantly and I feel bad because I can't buy my girlfriend the kinds of things I used to be able to buy for her.

Moral dilemma at work. I'm filling in for someone for the year. My assistant is a middle aged woman who's set in her ways, runs the place like a fucking nazi, and sees nothing wrong with having a shit-ton of illegally copied materials on the premises, even after there was a huge scandal at another district where they fired someone for having illegal copies.

I don't want to get into legal trouble or the whole year of experience I'm building will be worthless and I wouldn't be able to get hired if there were a problem. It's not as easy as going in and throwing shit away though...

Misha Collins.
But what else is new.

I need to get a second job, but there's really no time or money to do that. My current job is 9-6, and pays better than someone my age with no experience normally gets so I can't quit it. However, half of every paycheck goes to college bills and a quarter goes to gas since I have to drive two hours every day for my piece of shit car. Driving two hours a day to and from my parents house is also hindering me from getting a second job. Combo of being to tired at 7, not having the funds to not live with my parents while I'm paying off bills and most jobs having their evening shifts starting well before 6pm make it look like this is impossible. I'm going to focus on finding a weekend job, if people even do that anymore.

>>5020255
You mentioned college bills, and are you still taking classes? I'm confused what the 2hr drive is for: work or possible classes.

Either way, if you are still doing classes, I think your plate is plenty full. Yea it sucks living with your parents, but as I discovered, you can make yourself very sick and more susceptible to illness if you are constantly on the move doing shit. Your body needs rest sometimes too. 3 jobs and 65 hrs/wk. was a stupid thing to do. I didn't even end up any richer since the money went to paying bills and gas to get me to the stupid jobs themselves.

Also, I think weekend gigs are still totally doable. A lot of people who do daytime shifts want to work M-F and have weekends off and weekends off are still a big deal. You could potentially cash in on your willingness to work weekends.

My brother (and my dad to a lesser extent) is furious with me for a number of reasons but principally because I was dating outside of my race (an Asian guy). He told me guys like that would just see me as a trophy since I'm blonde and since I've broken up with the guy I realise he was probably right, but that only makes him more irritated.

All my friends ditched on me at New York Comic-Con. Now I'm going alone for two of the days. :( I even got a hotel room and everythan.

qq thread? lobitah posting in

3...
2...
1...

mom's friend's daughter wants to cosplay, mom mentions that I sew and have cosplayed a few times. mom's friend's daughter is major hambeast don't wanna help her make a costume but my mom keeps bugging me about it.

What do?

>>5020306
Just say you're not comfortable doing so?

>>5020306

they are offering to pay...but the thought of making her a chi costume is too revolting

My mother in law and I hate each other due to an unwarranted outburst she had at my wedding and I keep having realistic reoccurring dreams about her trying to murder me.

It's seriously starting to get to me, and I never thought about her again after I cut her out of my life.

/cgl/, is she going to murder me?

I think I've got a friend convinced to come to San Diego with me and be our Robot. So there's that.

Now I just need to establish a hotel and if it becomes official I can start work on his costume - pic related

And this I think this chick is like...trying to sneak into a relationship. First time I've had a stalker.

Feels weird man.

>>5020318

would but mom is really pressuring me, trying to guilt me, saying"oh honey the poor thing gets picked on all the time this would make her so happy"


>>5020319
Wtf do I charge?

>>5020333
What was the outburst about and what was the wedding like?

>>5020319
Just say no. You are not taking commissions and not running a business.

Don't say that you're too busy right now, that means "I'll do it later."

Don't say your skills aren't developed enough, that also means "I'll do it later."

Just. Say. No.

>>5020338

She flipped out, and I mean crazy person flipped out, because our photography was off schedule by about an hour. No joke, no exaggeration. She wasn't even involved in any part of making the wedding come to fruition, so it's not like she paid for the photography or anything.

When I say unwarranted freak out, I mean unwarranted freak out. She was screaming, flailing and yelling at my entire wedding party. It was so embarrassing.

Our relationship ended with a series of confrontational e-mails and I haven't thought twice about her since I managed to settle myself down. Now I'm having these reoccurring dreams.

>>5020361
any reason why she dislikes you?

My resting heart rate has been over 90 for the past two days and is starting to worry me.

My little sister turn 16 this month and I can't stop crying. She died in a house fire 6 years ago. I keep thinking about how she would look now if she was still alive.

I keep seeing things on PT needing to grow the fuck up and leave her house and I'm afraid of turning in to her. I'm 25 and still living at home but I can't bring myself to want to leave because I'd be worried about my parents. My father's in his late 70's and my mother just turned 70 and they both have had some health problems as of late. Dad has to get two hernias fixed while mom's cervix has disconnected and literally falling out of her. Dad already hurt himself when no one was home once and he got pneumonia and stayed in the hospital for a few days. I really don't want to leave them alone and we can hardly afford a homecare nurse and they're way too proud to even accept that their ages are getting to them.

I want a job but no matter how many applications and calls I make, I still can't seem to get something. I have back problems that I NEED to fix. I have a shattered disk in my lower spine that I'll need pins placed in and I can't get it fixed unless I have insurance, can't get insurance unless I have a job. Can't get a job because I need to get it fixed and a vicious cycle continues.

Despite pain I'm still trying to work out but only hurting myself more. I'm tired of being fat, useless, gross, ugly, a hambeast. I've cut out soda and have been doing biking until my back hurts to where I need to stop. I've been watching carbs and intake so here's hoping that someday soon I can be of value to society.

That felt good to just word-vomit all that up.

I'm in an abusive relationship but I don't want to leave because the sex is so good.

>>5020386
Are you actively making an effort to find a job?

Are you actively making an effort to change your lifestyle?

If yes to both, then you're not like PT.

>>5020364

To be perfectly honest, no. Even though we've had our differences, I've always been really fond of her, and as far as I knew, her of me as well. Her actions on our wedding day seemed completely out of nowhere and caught everyone off guard.

I found out later that a lot of shit went down with her the morning of our wedding as well. One of my bridal party members got to hear her unload about how she feels about our wedding (that we shouldn't be getting married because it's "too soon" - I'm almost 30, my partner is over 30, and we've been together for 8 years), and about what she really thought of me (we'll go ahead and say they weren't nice things in the least). She had it out for me from the moment she got up the morning of our wedding it turns out. I still have no idea what I actually did to set her off. Even confronting her all she had to say was that I was a manipulative, selfish, back-stabbing piece of shit. Like, sterotypical daughter-in-law hate just came out of bloody nowhere.

It really bothers me but I can't do anything about it. I don't want her back in my life, but my partner says I need some sort of closure or else I wouldn't be having dreams like that. As far as I knew I had closure by telling her what she did was inappropriate and that I don't deserve the way she's been treating me.

>>5020419
Are you slutty or trashy in any way? That's the only thing I can think of, mothers are kind of protective of their sons against that kind of woman from what I can gather.

>>5020419
The way you keep saying 'partner'...
Sure your not in a homosexual relationship and THAT set off the mother in law?

(I'm not making judgments, just asking)

>>5020432

Nope, not slutty and trashy in the least. I'd say I'm pretty modest. Honestly, her and I never had a problem in the 8 years that we've known each other that we didn't resolve until that day.

>>5020438

That would be the first thing you would think, and my mom suggested it too, but my partner's mom is really open and supportive. She goes to all the Pride events and even has a PFLAG sticker on her car. That's not her only daughter either, I mean, she has 2 more than can procreate it she's worried about no grandkids.

Someone really good looking from my past has made their way back into my life but is proving to be really fucking creepy. I have a boyfriend and nothing seems to deter this guy's advances. It's really squicking me out and I don't know how to deal with him. I suppose since he's very conventionally attractive physically, he thinks he can get what he wants, but I find his personality to be repulsive so no way in hell would I ever go for him. Trying to deal with it without getting the boyfriend involved because I know it'll just upset him and probably make matters worse.

>>5020456
Might be one of those over-compensating types too, ya know.

Outwardly it's all "oh, whatever makes them happy," but deep down it's "STAY AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER, FREAK!" (I don't mean to wound, just supplying a possibility)

>>5020458
>Guy flirts
>"Well, I guess I can fuck you, if you eat this brick. Right now. Whole."
>Repeat ad nauseam and thank SMBC

I'm building a house!

And I can't make up my mind about how I want the damn thing to look. I've got papers scattered all over my apartment with tiny half assed drawings. Been contemplating making scale models.

Maybe I should have been an architect.

>>5020465

Oh, don't worry. I've resolved myself to what has happened, and I don't really care whether she's back in my life or not. I'd just like the her trying to murder me in my dreams to stop. It's freaking me out.

On a side note, even my partner doesn't know whats up with her. She avoids my partner every time she tries to talk with her about what happened. My partner is pissed and wants to settle her end of things but it's like she won't let her. Her mom has some serious control issues that probably have a lot to do with things.

>>5020456
I'm sorry to say, but no matter how open and supportive heterosexuals try to be, they will inevitably have doubts about homosexuals. It's just their natural way of thinking. Her mother has found happiness in a partner of the opposite gender and reproduction - that's the "correct" way to live your life according to her, because its worked for her.

Sounds like she was just worried on the wedding day because it's such a final thing - girlfriends and boyfriends break up all the time, but husbands and wives are more permanent. She wants her child to be happy and live a good life, so when the wedding day plans weren't absolutely perfect, it probably seemed like an indicator of the future - that things will fall apart and not work properly in your marriage. Lashing out and laying the blame on you is just the easy way for her to not have to confront her own issues.

I couldn't go to Radiohead. =(

>>5020487

I see what you're saying, but it's definitely not a be-all end-all way of thinking; I just can't see the homosexuality thing being her reasoning. She certainly had it out for me before anything went even remotely awry with our wedding. She is a very judgmental person and may have just been cataloguing every small thing she didn't like about me over the years and it hit the boiling point. How am I to ever really know unless she outright says it though? Even in confronting her she never mentioned anything I actually did, just told me what she thought of me.

Perhaps sometime when my partner is actually able to talk to her she'll be able to get to the bottom of it. It's stable now though; she doesn't interfere in our marriage and she doesn't question my partner.

Dumb feelings and missing someone. He's 4 states away and I can't get in touch with him because he's never online and my phone is shit.

Right now I'm skipping through all my upbeat songs because they're making me shit rage

I'm sad that my fiance and I currently live in separate states.

I'm happy that we'll be getting handfasted/married. I am impatient though, that we won't be moving in together and getting married until after the fall semester of school is over. COME ON ALREADY.

I feel really worthless lately. I can't motivate myself to work on my new cosplays even though I have all the materials/time/etc.

I can't go to school due to financial problems, and I quit my job because I was being harassed by my manager. I feel so...behind in life. Even though I'm only 18 my parents constantly are telling me I'll be left behind by my friends...even though none of them go to college or do anything.

I have driving phobia, and that just makes me feel even worse. I worry everyday about what I need to do. I'm just really depressed I guess.I feel like even if I try I'll never be good enough.

>>5020742
Can relate to you with the whole driving fear and I'm 20 years old. Every time I get behind the wheel of a car, I see what Ling Ling from Drawn Together sees, especially once I get on a small road.

Hell, me not being able to drive has made me feel so behind in terms of my friends and development. ;~;

My ex-boyfriend is being an asshole and is at my neck because I've got a new boyfriend. We've been broken up for over a month now, and in the duration he's already had a new girlfriend, albeit they only lasted about two days. Last time we broke up back in October of last year, he had a new girlfriend within three days of the break-up, so he seriously has no right to have a go at me.
He tells people he still loves me, then treats me like shit. I'm trying to be his friend because I still care about him, but it's hard when he's reverted to being an asshole. If he can move on, why can't I?

>>5020742

I felt like this too all the way up to my early 20's. I just told myself to get on with it. Because if I don't do something I don't get to do anything.

I reminded myself of what I would miss out on if I didn't go live. I'd never meet new people, have some adventure I'd talk about 10 yrs later, never meet some totally cool guy who worships the ground I walk on, try weird foods, stay out late and never have to report in to someone, eat when I feel like it, stay as long as I want to in the fabric store because I didn't need a ride.... ect.

I haven't seen my boyfriend since the first week of July
and I won't see him again for at least another 6 months.
He won't be around for christmas or our 4 year anniversary.
he wasn't here for either of our birthdays.
I hate the military...

I wanna lose weight. I wanna have a body like beckii cruel.

>>5020810
Shit sux. Deployment is military life.

>>5020781
A little cat whispered in my ear you were dating a cute little coloured one. y/n?

>>5020781
Tell him to fuck off. He's clearly a manipulative asshole and you are well shot of him.

I've actually been doing pretty well lately.

However, there's this guy that I've had a huge crush on for a while.
In short, he's perfect. In looks and in personality.
He just seems like this larger than life person. So, I feel unworthy to even talk with someone like that.

I like him a lot, and it kills me that no matter how hard I try, I can never be his ideal type.

That's it. Just boring, "Why don't you like me?!" shit.

>>5020848
what is his ideal type?

>>5020868
No idea.

>>5020868
A girl that's smart, kind, never deals with drama. Also confident and adventurous.
As for looks, tall and thin, like a model. He tends to go for blonde girls and finds European features most attractive.
You can probably guess that I'm not most of those things.

>>5020921
i can't see you changing any of that just for a guy but maybe he'll change his standards for a sweet girl. i hope it doesn't get you too down.

>>5020940
Thank you. And I'm not too down about it, it just hurts sometimes.

But! Even though I can't change myself to fit that mold, he makes me want to be a better version of myself.
I figure, if I can be a person that I'M proud of, hopefully he'll like me back.
However, I'm not holding my breath.

>>5020821
yeah i hate it.
the worst part is he enlisted without discussing it with me first..
he just called me up one night and was like
"Oh by the way I enlisted in the Navy and I'm gonna be gone for 4 years"

I fucking love Mad Men.

And I fucking love when I get to meet you people, outside of the drama and petty bullshit.

>>5020830
See, this is what I was talking about with my friend earlier, I just can't. Obviously I'm not in love with him still, but I still really value him as a good friend, if anything I just want to know WHY he's being a douche.

>>5020823
M-maybe...

The test I just took in my Comparative Animal Behavior class... Shit was ridiculous to study for, but I know for a fact I at least passed. Hopefully with a B. Also, my boyfriends birthday is today and I'm trying to decide where to take him for dinner... And having difficulty.

Crushing on a girl that I have a snowball's chance in hell with.

The bit on my mind is that I'm going for it anyways.

>>5020211
Midterms which are surprisingly soon. Deciding if and what I would cosplay for ikkicon. My car window mysteriously fixed itself, I'm on the case.

I've been thinking about my next con, and all the sewing I have ahead of me.....

Some Jap is trolling the hell out of me irl. The things I would do to punch his tiny dick..

I have classes with this guy who's really fun and intelligent and I love spending time with him. We don't have a romantic relationship because I already have a boyfriend.
The thing is that I noticed he has a thing for one of my friends and it seems like she kinda likes him too. I know I'm being selfish but I don't wanna share him with her.
I'm a cunt, I know.

I'm moving to Atlanta for school tomorrow for...4 years.

I'm getting into a program I want to do and have a career in for the rest of my life, but it seems none of my friends and family are happy for me. They all seem....disappointed. As if I'm doing something wrong. Granted, I'm the first person in the entire history of my family to go off to school, but wouldn't that make someone even a little happy?

I just...want someone to be proud of me. And say hey, good luck! You'll do great etc.

never really had any praise before

I haven't been to a con in ten years (i'm only 24 don't freak out), and I just have no idea where to start. Well, that's not entirely true, but blindly choosing the nearest one to my house is what turned me off so badly in the first place. I want to jump into the community, maybe even volunteer now that I have the means and everything, but it feels a little daunting right now. So I'm going to workout like a good meathead because at least the iron makes sense, haha

>>5021350
Well, you're hardly discovering cancer cures, are you? Lots of people, much smarter and more talented than you go to much better schools every day and are much more successful. Let's see at least a degree and then you can receive a pat on the head for your mediocrity.

Your constant need for validation for the most trivial things is probably what's stopping your friends and family from feeding your ego.

>>5021350
I know that feel, anon. I had the same thing. I was never praised, just told "do better". When I was a music major, my parents were proud of me, but I was miserable. I finally told them "I'm changing my major whether you like it or not" (they were paying my fees), and now that I'm a psych major, I'm much happier and they support my decision. Give your family time. It's a new experience for them, too. If you're feeling really ballsy, ask what they think and figure out why they aren't as excited as you.

>>5021350
Hey, Anon, good luck! You'll do okay

>>5021350
Wow, what are you moving to do? I would have loved to move further away to do the course I'm on...
That said, this anon thinks you're going to do awesome!

>>5021362
Pharmaceutical and Biomedical so yeah no curing cancer here! Just making people who have it have a less shitty time! But maybe in the future, which is unlikely.

It's not even an ego thing, it's more of a "why does everyone seem pissed at me for going" kinda deal.

When my friends all left for college I was very happy for them. College is a big step in life towards your future, not to mention the money involved, but everyone is acting like I killed their mother in front of them.

>>5021392
Hey no way, Biomedical Science here!
Just speculating, but maybe it's just that they don't know how to tell you they're going to miss you?

>Sorry for huge mass of text in advance. Just needed to rant...
Two years ago, I had a fairly serious emotional breakdown after my grandfather died to stomach cancer. I lay in bed for just over 3 weeks before my school even noticed I was missing, at which point I was put onto a "depression watch" and given counselling. I've mostly recovered from that point now, but occasionally all of my neuroses will hit me at once and I go right back to that state again.
Earlier this month, my uncle committed suicide. He had, earlier in life, been on medication for depression, but had come off it and appeared to have made a full recovery. To everyone who knew him, he was always smiling, cracking jokes and making people laugh. The fact that no-one knew anything about the way he felt... It really scares me.
I understand exactly why he hid it from them, though, because I'm pretty sure I'm using the same logic; I don't want to be a burden on my friends and family, and them knowing about it will cause them to treat me differently...
I'm not saying that I'm considering suicide; it's just something that's been weighing on my mind a lot recently, and it's made me feel better to just be able to let it go. So, thank you for that.

One of my friends was murdered in a random attack almost two months ago. She was murdered by the driver of the bus she was on - beaten unconscious as she left the bus, and left in a ditch where she drowned.

I really, really miss her. She was always there for me whenever I needed somebody to talk to, and even though we hadn't spoken much recently, it was still..I don't know how to put it.

I...Don't have many close friends. Those that I do have mean a lot to me - I will drop everything I'm doing to help them out with something, or to repair their computers or networks.

She was the sort of girl who would walk into a room full of perfect strangers, and an hour later everybody would be best friends - she brought together completely disparate groups of friends.

Her memorial service was on Sunday (She was buried in Poland, where she was killed - she loved it there), and....Out of all of her dozens of friends, just six turned up. Lets call them me, E, R, L and Y and D. Some people had reasonable excuses - one friend was in the operating theatre all day, and ok, that can't be helped, and others contacted ahead of time and wrote letters to her parents, but...

So many of her friends just...didn't bother. They went on about how much they'd miss her, but when it came to it, they couldn't be arsed.

Maybe my anger is misplaced - maybe I'm looking for an excuse to be angry at somebody regarding her death. But I feel betrayed - I feel like they've betrayed her memory. I don't know - I haven't had much sleep recently, every time I lay down I just get this flood of memories and regrets - things I wish I'd said, things I wish I hadn't.

I just want my friend back - I wish she'd never got on that bus. I miss her so much ;_;

Picture related; It doesn't matter anymore.

>>5021420
That's so sad anon. Did they even get a reason out of the bus driver as to why he did such an awful thing?

And six friends.. well I don't think that's awful. I don't even know if that many would turn up to my funeral! The important part is the people that really cared were there. Try not to be too angry at everybody else.

>>5021420


The worst part is, she was scheduled to come back to the UK just a week after she was killed. She'd been working in a museum over there, and doing art studies to improve her uni grade.

She'd had articles published in national news papers, and her interviews with artists had been aired on international radio.

She had so much potential, so much going for her, and now....gone.

Picture related; That's her on the right.

Still - they got the bastard a day or so later, miles away from Krakow where he killed her; He confessed. So that's something.

>>5021420
>>5021420
your post made me cry I'm so sorry

>>5021437

Lots of her Polish friends went to her funeral; six of her British friends, including myself, turned up for the Memorial.

They didn't get a real reason out of him - apparently she lipped off when he failed to stop at her stop. He had a history of violent behaviour, and had been arrested (but not charged) for battering his former partner.

Fucker shouldn't have been driving a bus.

I find myself unable to be honest in my relationship anymore because I am scared/anxious of the reactions I might get. Not flat-out lying, but rather forced to secrecy. Like I can't say where I am going, what I am doing, thinking, planning, wanting, etc cause if it doesn't please or isn't 'approved', I just get grief for it. Yeah, a relationship is a partnership, but if I say I want to go hang out with friends for a weekend, I shouldn't need permission, and I shouldn't be condemned for it when I rarely hang out with friends as it is, and I certainly shouldn't be nagged, accused (that the friends mean more), guilt-tripped, and threatened until I finally give in and say I won't go. It's extremely unsettling to have to close myself off like this.

Just been thinking on how to make myself better, in all aspects, in order to compete with my enemies. The people who hate me are all better than me in some way or another, naturally smarter, more beautiful, more confidence, etc. and don't seem to struggle with anything, whereas I am always struggling in one way or another, and only seem to float on by. I'm succeeding, but not as much as THEY are succeeding.

But it seems the harder I try at everything, the worse I get at everything. I don't know where they get the energy from, when in comparison I'm tiring myself out. Why can't I be as awesome at everything as they are?

Still, I can't just not try, and I can't afford to give myself a break. I'm going to have to extend my days even further and just. keep. going. I can't let the people who hate me be better than I am. I have to be better than them at all costs. Busier than them. More intelligent. More fashionable. Skinnier. More well-traveled. More disciplined. Just everything. I can never be happy with myself otherwise.

And then, all of this trying to be better than other people is so childish. I know it's not a contest. But when it comes down to it, being better than them, and having a bunch of good qualities as a consequence of that, is all I want for myself.

>>5021445
>>5021452
>>5021420

I know she'll never read this, but Kia, I'm sorry I never told you how much I appreciated your friendship and your patience with me when I was being an arsehole.

I will never forget you, and I will always miss you and feel an emptiness whenever I hear those songs.

If I could somehow take your place, I would.

My best friend is moving. I know it's only a town over so she'll still be at our school but it just makes me sad for some reason. She's also moving away from me and closing to our other friends. I know it's a stupid petty thing, but I'm really going to miss being a five minute drive from her. I thought I was going to burst into tears when she told me today, It makes me feel worse to know that even she doesn't want to move. They're moving into a condo, and her mom wavers between saying it's so much nicer than her currently house, and that is doesn't feel like home.

sage because i'm not even the one moving so i need to shut up and get over it

I'm really worried about one of my best friends.

She took a small vacation to visit her family over the summer and flew back the week before Fall semester was to start. While she was on the plane, her fiance killed himself, with no warning and no note (we knew he was depressed due to an abusive childhood, but he always hid the extent of it from everyone).
A mutual friend came over so they could go pick her up from the airport together, and found him. She's never really lost anyone close to her before, and never like this. She missed the first half-week of classes to go to his funeral. When she got back, her small class load was too much, and she was given permission to go down to half time and was starting to do better.
One of her other friends took time off from work to stay with her. He drove her around, and escorted her to every class. Roughly two weeks ago she started fainting at random, but luckily he was able to help take care of her. After he had to go back to work, she fainted again at school and someone called EMS. She was finally diagnosed with PTSD, and psychogenic non-epilectic seizures. She's taken a medical withdrawal from school.
She's so, so close to being able to graduate and really wants school to help her keep direction and work through this, and now she feels so lost. She lives in a house with a number of other people, but she keeps telling me she feels so isolated. She hasn't been able to sleep more than a few hours at a time over the past month, and we're all having to remind her and force her to eat/drink enough water/take her vitamins. She's trying so hard to function, and now her own body won't let her.

I'm there for her, and she knows that I am, and I know there's really nothing that I can do to make this better, but I want to so bad, and I hate it. She's one of the nicest girls. She doesn't deserve this pain.

>>5021639


Guy above who's friend was murdered;

The only advice I can offer you personally is...be there. Don't be clingy about it, but try and spend time with her, even if it's just sitting around doing nothing, or you reading and her doing her own thing.

She'll appreciate it - the feeling of isolation is not nice.

Petty problems.
I'm procrastinating badly in school and I don't want to have to take four years rather than three because I can't afford it.
I'm also in love with someone on campus that I don't even know that well.

Almost a year since me and my ex broke up.
Still completely and totally in love with him.
And I don't know how to fix it.

>>5021664
>I'm also infatuated with someone on campus that I don't even know that well.

>>5021677

What was the cause of the breakup, may I ask?

I'm a beta fuck who's too shy to ask out my best friend, in case I get rejected.
Now's the part where you tell me I simply need to man up, and get the hell off 4chan
Cosplay-wise, I'm seriously questioning wherever I can raise £140 pounds within a month, to go to my next con with said best friend.

>>5021677
I know that feel.

This guy that I was seeing this past summer who ended up just playing me with some other girl is probably about to do it to another girl I know (told her he likes her). He apologized a lot to me and has been acting like he's changed, but I'm very skeptical. This girl talked to me about what happened between him and I, and I told her, but I think she's still going to risk getting played too. I don't know what to do, but I'm almost certain he's about to pull his same bullshit all over again. I don't want to see my friend get hurt, but I also don't know how to go about this without seeming like I'm just being nosey.

Wanting a friend of mien to purchase the damn hot glue gun sticks that he owes me. He used a ton of them for a costume because I'm a beta guy like all hell.

On the other hand I'm dealing with a depressing period in my life(just turned 21 recently) and broke up with someone about 4-8 weeks ago. Didn't see it leading anywhere. But she was good friends with a lot of my friends and me and her both had the same social circle so kind of worried.

On top of that there is a girl I liked who I now have feelings for again (she had "friend zoned" me once) we usually get along pretty well but I'm just afraid to ask her out again so close to the breakup and then due to the fact of I've had an addiction issue with porn as of recently and it's very hard to fight it most of the time. I'm worried that if I tell her this at some point she'll break off all ties and that I'll spiral.

On the plus side of life though at least I have a good few friends and I'm getting a full costume started. First time doing armor so it should be very fun.

I hate myself. I'm not sure why, but I can cheer up for a day or two, but then... it all just comes back. I can be positive, and I know it's not something that bad if it goes away, but when I see my friends, I just remember how amazing they are, and how they excel at everyone over me, and that I have absolutely no talents, no likable points, and I just get angry and push them away, then break down crying in private. My friends are starting to leave me and think I'm a bitch, and I know this is my fault, but I can't stop it. I just want to make them proud of me, and I've been working harder than I should to make them like me more. They liked me fine before, so why do I want to impress them so badly? I want someone to just hug me tight and let me cry for awhile, since that seems to be what I need to maybe be nicer, but...
That's the other problem.
Physical contact freaks me out and makes me uncomfortable. In my head, I love the idea of cuddling and hugs and quick kisses, but in real life, I fear to be touched. For the first time in my life, I'm going on a date in two weeks and I'm terrified I'll push this guy away just because I'm uncomfortably frigid. I'm scared.

I really want to play some P&P games.
Maybe ask a girl out, but she is always with her friends, never uses facebook, and also has no cellphone

>>5020374
Cherish the time you spent with her.
Sounds cliché, but make sure your memories are happy.

>>5021688
He wanted me to move in, and basically told me "Move in or break up"
I told him fuck off because I don't appreciate being bullied into choices. I really shouldn't want him back, but I do. I really do.
My life is better without him, I'm doing so much better. But I always feel like it'd be better with him there because we were so great when we were together. Then just one day he dropped that on me. Now he's got a new girl and apparently isn't the same person he used to be.

In all honesty, I think i picked the wrong college. there are so many things I love about it, like the Location, the price (i have a scholarship) The easyness of the courses outside my major, the campus, etc. But, I'm here for art, and I feel like they're not teaching me anything at all. it is really freaking me out, because I'm not what I should I do. I've been thinking of transferring to SVA, but I dislike the location, it's expensive, and supposedly overrated. Also, I've been thinking of doing animation, which my college doesn't even offer. Not to mention, the campus life is dead at the current college I go to. I'm not sure what it's like at SVA, or any other school, but I don't see how much worse it could get.

the guy that i really like saw his best friend die right in from of him last week. now he's quit his job and is moving across the country because he's so fucked up about it. i feel so bad for him, and its really heartbreaking to think that we probably wont ever see each-other again. we were becoming such good friends, im going to miss him so much, and also i just feel SO terrible about what happened to him... i cant stop thinking about it, ive been crying every night all week.

>>5021797
Anon. Are you me?

>>5021797
You need to do the hard thing and confide in of your friends as to how you're feeling. It will be one of the most difficult things you can do but... it can help. It will help. They will understand. It may take time and a long process but you can get back what you lost, you can be nicer by simply being.

As for that feeling of people more talented than you? I know that feel I've felt it plenty of times in my college and I have always had and carried through this motto for those moments:

"There is always a bigger fish. All it takes is a little more skill to catch that fish."

Basically someone may be good at making costumes or modeling or drawing? You can get to their skill level with hard work. More importantly though is the simple fact.

Everyone is different, and through our differences we are great. Not just great, marvelous, spectacular, magnificent. All the best things a guy or girl can do we've done in our lives 100 fold just by existing. Million of years of evolution just to produce you.

If you want a specific example of this then I can point to you. You, just you, 1 in all of the human race, of all people in this thread, on this board, just gave me insight into how a mate of mine feels, she's very afraid of intimacy as well. You have given me insight into her and given me an "Oh." moment, a moment where something that was not clear suddenly is.

So yes while you may not be as talented or as good at something as they are just remember this:

Friends, are always going to be there for each other. Though thick and thin, doesn't matter if you haven't talked to them in three years or seven. You can always catch up any time, any day. And you know what else? You're gorgeous. Yes you. You see it took over 13.7 billion years for you to get here, imagine that, everything everywhere, molecules and electrons all battling it out just over what your nose will look like, or what type of body or how tall or short you are. Billion of years, all condensed into one form. You.


Also wow, first time going over field.

Walking away from these people and this whole cosplay thing in it's entirity would be the easiest thing to do right now. Honestly? I've been in limbo since I agreed to do it again because it doesn't feel right to me anymore. This most recent experience has served to remind me how much I absolutely love making stuff - it's just the part where I go to a public place and wear it that gives me horrible anxiety. There is no attention whore left inside me. That careless girl must've been replaced by this adult woman who's dreading the inevitable awkwardness she's committed herself to taking part in. This time I'm looking forward to being done with the con far more than I am to participating in it. Still, I must remind myself that this is the direct result of my having made the wrong decision. I walked back into it for two reasons; one is a person that is no longer part of my life, and the other can be addressed in many different ways - none of which require my continued activity within this hobby. I jumped back in impulsively without an ounce of common sense and now I've got to crawl back out and run as far away as possible.

I am feeling pretty terrible because I found out recently that I hurt someone in my past and had intention to. I feel like a awful person, though I absolutely did not do it on purpose. I just want to keep everyone happy around me all the time, so it's disappointing to know that I failed at some point and they dislike me for it. I was an awkward teenager, and I'm sorry.

I fucked up, I fucked up, I fucked up.

I need advice, though. You can call me a bad person, or whatever. I don't care, I just need legitimate advice.

So I had a boyfriend that preferred his hand to me, and it really fucked me over. And before him I dated two guys that cheated on me, so I started dating my current boyfriend and I've been a paranoid bitch ever since. I was really insecure and really bad since the beginning, and ever since the summer I hung out with a different friend to give him space, got his birthday wrong, ditched him, and lied to him. I never cheated or would cheat, but he is excessively upset with me; and I understand why. We broke up for a week and then got back together, and we've been together still for a month. I've been great, less bitter due to previous shit and being very good for him. But he says he can't see my good and won't see my good behavior truly, until next summer or something big happens and I react in a more positive manner. I don't know what to do, I haven't been doing anything bad as of late and now he's ignoring me. What do I do? How do I mend this relationship? I know everything is my fault, but I actually really care about him. Call me whatever you wish, but I want this to work. Please may I have some advice?

>>5022010
*I had an ex boyfriend that..

bump

>>5022010
It can't all be your fault because he either has to forgive you and ditch the baggage or leave you. If you keep making yourself feel like shit, you're only going to make yourself insecure and miserable. Forgive yourself for your mistakes, do your best to be a better person and ask him if he can put what was done behind you and try again. It's unfair of him to string you along, punishing you for your past mistakes if he has no intention of forgiving you.

>>5022010
Stop being a whore?

Well. I'm admining for an RP that a lot of furries frequent.

'Nuff said.

>>5022045

I would love to say this to him, but he'd never listen to me.
I feel so hurt, he asked me back out. I didn't do anything good, but I didn't do anything truly awful either. I had no evil intentions as well. What do I do?

>>5022070
I'd be very hesitant, you don't want to live your life under a cloud of guilt and doubt. Maybe a little loneliness is worth being comfortable with yourself in the long run.

>>5022081
Seriously this. Not to get all militant lesbo on you, but you will be amazed at how much you don't need a man in your life every single second of your existence. Try taking a break from dating and focus on why you keep sabotaging relationships. Fix yourself up before you ruin another one.

>>5020365
Resting heart rate between 100-120 here :|
Ultrasound, EEG and whatever the fuck that other test is said I'm fine, just overactive system.

>>5022098
any drugs, caffeine, sugar, anxiety, etc? also, things like calcium carbonate can elevate your heart rate. are you on any unusual supplements or anything? lastly, some people are just chronically anxious without any specific emotional triggers, one of the symptoms is elevated heart rate.

I am in love with the guy I work with, and I can't bring myself to act on it.
He said he's just started dating someone else, but when we're at work he just confuses the hell out of me. He doesn't talk much to other people, but he talks to me a great deal. Plus, he's always "accidentally" making physical contact with me, like taking things out of my hands and brushing his arm against mine when he stands next to me (and you might say, "You're reading into that too much," but seriously, I thought so too the first few times he did it. But when I say always, I mean more or less always). He also makes comments that lead me to believe he's watching me when I'm not looking (like mentioning things I was doing out of boredom that I didn't think anyone saw).
And I am seriously attracted to this guy. He's hot, we have the same cynical sense of humor, he's into interesting things, he's incredibly smart, and we seem to get along really well.
But I can't bring myself to mention him that I think he's beautiful and would love to go out with him sometime. First off, there's the girl he's dating. Secondly, he's about six or seven years older than me (don't know exactly, but judging by his appearance and the fact that he mentioned his younger sister was as old as my older brother, who is four and half years older than me). That might not especially matter though, because we're both in our twenties. Thirdly though, and probably what's stopping me the most, I'm wimpy as fuck when it comes to stuff like this.
Whatever. I already know I'm destined to die alone. T-T

>>5022192
Fuck, my overwhelming urge to use emoticons got the best of me I see! Disregard that "T-T" face please.

>>5022192
i bet his girlfriend is made up to get you jealous >.>

if you're gonna die alone, why not ask him out for a drink, you're at no risk of losing anything...

>>5022228
Unfortunately, if she's a fabrication, she's a rather elaborate one, with a name, grad school major, undergraduate college, hometown...
And if he were willing to go to such lengths just to make me jealous... I dunno if I'd still be interested.
I am going to ask him out sometime, though, I am going to force myself to. I just need to grow a pair first.

>>5022228
Unfortunately, if she's a fabrication, she's a rather elaborate one.
And if he were willing to go to such lengths just to make me jealous... I dunno if I'd still be interested.
I am going to ask him out sometime, though, I am going to force myself to. I just need to grow a pair first.