i want that pocket watch plz link.

I got smacked on the arse with a yaoi paddle by a fat maid.

I told her I didn't appreciate it much, and she apologized. Thankfully.

Also, that's a nice watch.

One year at megacon this guy was running around with a large box on that covered nearly his entire body with a robot-ish face drawn on it (if he was a specific character I have no idea who he was supposed to be) and he was dancing around the lobby area and this pile of larger girls start screaming "HEY MR. BOX MAN, C'MERE!" after a few more catcalls to him they sort of rushed him and knocked him over. The box went all the way down past his knees and it wasn't very spacious so he was essentially trapped without the aid of someone to help him up (shame on me for being too transfixed by the situation) the leader of the girls literally climbs onto his legs and starts trying to peek into the box (essentially looking up into his crotch) yelling "WHO'S IN THERE?!".
I couldn't fathom a way to save the poor dude that did not involve possibly being sat on by a gaggle of beasties, so I snapped a picture and ran. I wish I still had that shot.

>>2724626
The first time I ever went to AWA, my friends dragged me to a yaoi panel. It's not my thing but I figured I could sit through it because every one of them are fans and it was better than wandering around the con alone. (The last time I got separated I was accosted by a guy dressed as Squall from FF8.) Anyway. I spy this socially awkward hambeast from my Asian culture class getting in line to be spanked by the yaoi paddle. When it's your turn they ask you if you want it hard or soft and you're supposed to come up with a clever way to respond.

In front of God and everyone she said "I want it hard like gay cock." and her words were forever burned in to my brain. Please note that she looks like a female version of William Murderface and has trouble with her r's.

Anyway. Later I find out more and more about this girl. Such as:
She wears cosplay to class. Seriously. I was shocked as hell to walk in to the class I have with her to find a fat Xaldin sitting in the back of the room.
Sometimes walks around with a stick of pocky hanging out of her mouth.
Speaks in pigeon Japanese and has called me "kawaii" and "tsundere uke" and "___-sama-san" on more than one occasion.
Tries to argue points of history/culture with our professor based on what she's seen in anime.
Is a furry and her "fursona" is a "Cabbit".
Despite being a furfag AND a yaoi fanatic, she's "against homosexuality in theory" because she's also a Christfag. I prefer it in practice, myself. >:3

I swear to God this girl is like a walking ED article.

>>2724645
I wasn't aware of how entirely fucked up I am until I wondered how hard the guy spanked her.

>>2724645
... I'm so sorry.

Since you can buy yaoi paddles at our cons, you see fat chicks with them everywhere.
Few are brave enough to spank random people, but ya know... there's a /few/... like that maid chick...

Oh, also, I get scarred for life when I see fatties dressed as my favorite characters. I know they're just trying to have fun, but it still bothers me.

>>2724650
Not sure how to feel about this...

>>2724650
The paddle broke. No fucking lie.

>>2724744
You're joking, right?

>>2724744
AHAHAHAHAHA AMAZING

>>2724762
Oh God, I wish I was. Several paddles actually broke that night. Three, I think.

>>2724782
Dear lord.
I feel bad for you.

>>2724789
It was so bad. They said that there would be no porn, but there was a 20 minute slideshow of exactly that. Some of it bordered dangerously on shota and some of it WAS shota. I felt mighty uncomfortable.

Tentative bump?

YES BUMP PLEASE.
I'm in a fashion show with some hambeast weeaboos. They're stupid and stereotypical, but they haven't done anything worth mentioning yet.

Don't really have that many stories, other than this one time I was dressed as Apollo Justice, and a huuuuge Kristoph came up to me and started touching me, shortly before saying, "I like to molest my Apollos, hope you don't mind."

D:

>>2725412
I should add that, yes, this would've been creepy even if the Kristoph was thin and attractive, but this IS a hambeast thread, so...

>>2724645

I will say, the double suffix isn't totally unheard of in Japanese.
I have a lot of Japanese friends, so 'chan' gets tacked on to the end of a lot of names. One of my friends who is younger will then add 'san' at the end, so it becomes "Kazu-chan-san" for example.

I know, it doesn't make it any better, but it's not unheard of.

I wish I had a story to contribute.

But, instead, bump.

I was cosplaying as Rena from Higurashi. Suddenly, a fat weeaboo girl CROSSPLAYING I repeat CROSSPLAYING as Keiichi walks up to me and proceeds to yell USO DA! several times and then starts mimicking the swinging of a bat and smacks me against the motherfucking WALL pressing me with her sweaty and smelly body, wrinkling my costume and messing with my wig.

>>2725412
oh motherfucker and I really liked that pairing too DDDD:

bump

I was a maid at a con once. (Helpin' out ya know?) And this big fat guy started getting all weird on one of the girls. "Your cute, let me see those panties, why wear a skirt if you don't want people to see em'?"

Douche-munch.
I walk over and I'm all "Sir, Please knock it off and act like a human being." He's all "Sure" I turn around and he pinches my butt...
THAT FUCKING DOES IT.

I say "I am going to punch the hell out of you if you don't apologize." "Noway" and I lightly smack him. He just looks all gay and stares at me. I say "Aren't you gonna hit me back?"
He says "Your a girl. You could not take it."

I then open-palm punch(Strike?) him.

If I give him a normal punch, it means I see him as a man and I treat him as an equal. But if I smack him, I see him as just a little bitch who doesn't deserve my hand.

I get him in the nose, eye and eyebrow.
He starts to bleed from his nose and I say "BULLSHITER" I then leave as I realize I may get into deep shit if I get caught.

I am a girl and when I was little my first anime as Sailor Moon and my first manga was Love Hina...

I watched SM around... 5? 4 maybe? And I loved it.
A couple years later I went into a GameStop. (Back when they used to sell used manga there.) I was only 10 and a half... I say the cover and thought "Wow! What pretty ladies!" I got three volumes (Before I knew what volumes ment.) Vol. 11, 12 and 13.

I fliped threw it and saw only a few bad looking things. Somehow my mind only saw "Pretty Ladies"

I then went up to the counter to but them.
I had long, LONG hair to my ass and bangs. I looked like mini Naru.
I had on my "random anime girl I saw on the internet and thought she was to a "pretty ladie" so I printed it on and put it on a t-shirt"-shirt. (turns out the girl on the t-shirt was Aoi Sakuraba from Ai yori Aoshi)
So I looked like a baby lesbo I guess.

The guy at the front desk saw me walk up and said- "So you like Love Hina?" I said "Yeah I guess! It looks so cute!" He said "and you like your shirt?" So I (duh) said "Oh yes! She is BEAUTIFUL!" He rang it up and said "I need your ID." Me being 10 had no ID to show so I had to ask my mama.

She paid and we started to leave.
He then waved bye and I said "thanks! See ya later!"

I got home and read the fuck out of it...
Exploding panties, boobs, srs making out, ass, lesbo... He saw I was 10 and did not even try to stop me...

I blame my being Bisexual on him.
(I guess I should thank him)

>>2728998
Me again.
A few more years later I was in Books-a-million.
I was 15 I think.
My hair was even longer (to my lower butt) and I had it in a really low ponytail. (Where it's like a few inches from the end?)
and I was browsing in the manga section.
I can hear this guy keep laughing.
I turn around to see it's a HUGE african american guy. (Nothin' against! I have AA friends) Ayway. He keeps laughing and I hear him say to his friend "I never thought I'd see a girl cosplay as that version! and in public to!"
He then keeps laughing. I don't anything of it.
I think he's talking about someone else.
He then gets up stands SUPER CLOSE to me and gives me an anime-club card...
I look up at him and he says "Be there..."

He then leaves and I still feel super flustered. (Never had a guy get so close!) I walk over to the seat he saw sitting in to see he left the manga he was reading out. IT WAS LOVE HINA.

And the way I had my hair and clothes I looked JUST LIKE the cover!
I think it was volume 9...
Still shit was scary.
In return. Another pic somebody told me I looked like. (Sans dumb cowlicks)

>>2729025
I just hate it when people think your cossplaying when your just in street clothing

>>2728998
>>2729025
FUNNY SHIT BRA.

>>2728998
How was this a hambeast weeaboo story? Not to pick on you or anything, but this thread had a focus on awkward hambeast weeaboos

I don't have any recent ones so I'll just tell a really old one.Warning it is really long!

Back in 07 I was really into Hellsing and one of my first cosplays(if you can call it that)was Integra.I had been down in bed with mono the whole summer and I was geting sick again while at con so that day I had my running shoes for walking(had my heels in my bag for the gathering).

So when I get there some of the people I knew from the day before tell me that this really rude cosplayer was coming to the gathering and I should look out.So I see her and shes wearing this really crappy looking bought cosplay(turns out it was from fan+freind)she runs up to me and the frist words out of her mouth are

"Oh hey anther Integra,I'M BETTER LOOKING THEN YOU!!!!your out fit is all wrong!She never wears black!I'm from the OVA".

I'm was really stunned by this"No I'm wearing the outfit from the manga infact she only wears green in the gonzo show"

Well she still fights with me about how shes right and how much better her cosplay is and how she made it herself,witch we all knew she was full of shit.Then she starts ripping on me for my shoes(already talked about why I was wearing them)

So the shoot starts and I get my hells on and the whole time she keeps bumping into me and hitting me with her gun and I keep falling over everytime.

So after the shoot were sitting down and I pull out this cat hat that I bought and looks at it and pulls out a bunny one.

"OMG YOU HAVE TO WEAR THAT!!!!!"

"um no thanks I'm fine"

"YOU HAVE TOO!!!!!"

So during all of this shit she pulls out this "OMG sooo rare buffy figurine" that she bought for $70.So I'm feeling even worse and dizzyer and I get up to leave and I fall down right one her figurine.Sadly it didn't brake.

Yeah told ypu it was long,and pic very VERY RELATED!

>>2729032
The guy at the front desk was a hambeast.
A hambeast who did not stop a 10 year old from buying soft core porn...

I thought it kinda went, but I guess you;re right.

>>2729074
OH MY GOD.
POOR BLOND.B, I FEEL FOR U DOG.

>>2729028
oh god, this....

>>2729134
thanks man you my dog bro

yeah thats story is a good reason not to cossplay in SD

>>2729141
SD?

>>2729154
san diego

we have one of the worst cosplay sences down here

>>2729154
Standard Definition

needs moar weeaboo stories!!!!

omg theres a girl wearing a swaztica in that picture

>>2729175
I went to BAM the other day and there was a hambeast-girl read hardcore yaoi right in the middle of the hallway...

it had cock in the picture and everything.
She just looked up at me and grunted.

>>2729197
its hellsing cosplay hun

>>2729272

oh right just rememberd, havent read hellsing in a long time

It's more of an anime club story but there was a weeaboo hambeast. She did most of the harassing.

My college does openings for their art gallery every few months. It's a nice little shindig. They do serve food for free so this attracts college students. The usual procedure is you eat the food and go look at the gallery. Well I guess the anime club caught word of the free food.

They acted like retards. Randomly doing the cancan dance and spouting "kawaiijapanesedesukai" all over the place. It was rather embarrassing. The worst was the hambeast.

The food often consists of various cheese trays, cookies, and sandwiches. This time somebody brought in these meatballs. Well, I over heard the hambeast spout off how they look like delicious balls and even arranged the meatballs and some other food to look like a dick on her plate. How do I know she did that? She went around and showed everybody her "artwork".

Then she harassed me personally because I have a Hetalia phone strap. She proceeded to go on loudly about "delicious buttsex" and yaoi. She spouted 4chan memes while telling me about such subjects.

I'm guessing the other members were acting similar as well because security came in and told them to leave. I overheard a teacher say they should be banned for future openings. I can't blame them.

TL;DR Anime club came to gallery opening hosted by my college, acted like retards, and the hambeast made a penis out of food on her plate. Then went on about cocks and buttsex.

>>2729074
Fuckin Otafags.

Mild story: room stuffing with a weeaboo hambeast. When she wasn't pimping out her website in the dealer's room, she was singing during my nap time (I was sick most of the con and often went back to the room to rest). Guess she thought she was awesome cause she didn't stop singing the same two songs for over an hour. She also didn't have a lot of consideration for others when it came to cleaning up her shit or not taking super-long showers when others needed the bathroom to prep costumes or clean themselves.

When I was younger (about 15) my sister brought in this stray from school.
She claimed that she had been thrown out of her home by her folks and so my mother being the kind woman she was let her stay for a while.
She was about 2 years younger then me but had just turned 14.
She was a fat, little retarded weebo. I didn't like her from the moment I met her mainly because she claimed that she was American (we're English) and would constantly tell us about how she was from Wawwwshingtonn Deeeeceee in the most horribly grating voice you can imagine.
She claimed her name was Armisa and she was half Japanese too.
She would sit around our house eating pocky and these Japanese koala biscuits, reading her hardcore yaoi hentai and trying to show another of my sisters who was 5 at the time the pages upon pages of exploding dicks and expanding breasts.
I often caught her in my room randomly, she claimed she was always looking for a pencil so she could draw some 'maaaangaaa' even though I'd given her about 6 by that time, WTF?
About 3 weeks after her living at house and having no contact from her folks my mother decided to call up her parents and find out exactly what was going on.

CONT.

>>2729680

She wasn't American, she was born in Surrey.
Nor was she half Japanese, her parents were both full blooded Britons.
Her name wasn't Armisa, it was Ami and she hadn't been thrown out by her parents.
She'd stolen all her mothers jewelry and pawned it for money to buy hentai off eBay, you can't make this shit up.
Well to say the least we sent that bitch packing as soon as.

About a year later she's moved away but I get an email from my younger sister who originaly brought her to our house.
The link was of "Armisa's" Deviantart.
I now know what she was she was doing snooping around my room all that time.

About 20 peices of my artwork scanned and uploaded to Deviantart with her signature scrawled all over it.

Fucking bitch.

Pic related: It's some more of her artwork, clearly traced from somewhere although she's caliming it's original.

80% of /cgl/ is hambeast though1!

>>2729683

Lol i think i recognize the manga. Isn't that from crimson hero high? The volleyball manga? If not it's probably from the same mangaka.
That reminds me of this copycat from my high school named megan. She'd trace over shit like his&her circumstances, but change a minor detail (ie gave the girl a long braid) and call her original artwork. I also had a friend who traced cat street but changed their clothes and claimed that they were oc's. I lol'd and called her out for it (in a nice way, cuz it was on fb and i didn't wanna sound like a bitch.) she admitted that the characters look too alike and scrapped them as her oc's. Tl;dr i ramble about the minor weeaboos from my golden days which were slightly ot cuz they weren't hambeasts

>>2729699

Happy to be part of that 20% ;D

>>2729683
...that is a fantastic story. Not gonna lie.

>>2729683

That's from Akuma de Sourou.

this girl comes running up to me and grabbed my panda stuffed animal [that was a gift that i was giving to someone at the con] and ran away with it. except she was very fat so she didnt get to far before i got it back. but she started CRYING when i got it back. and security came over and asked what was happening. and she said i stole HER stuffed animal. a friend testified that it was mine, but the security wasnt entirely buying it. by that point i was beyond annoyed and more exasperated so i didnt care how it went. i told the guy it wasnt worth it and walked away. later on my friend [the one that testified it was mine] said he saw the girl do the same thing to some sora's keyblade and she was kicked out of the con.

two words come to mind with this kinda thread

cosplay cybrog

>>2729837

I wouldv'e slapped a bitch.

And a security guard.

Bump for moar.

>>2729874
i couldnt slap her. she just didnt make me that angry, more annoyed and tired than angry.

>>2724645
>she's "against homosexuality in theory"
>In front of God and everyone she said "I want it hard like gay cock."

Oh god this is too funny.

>>2730039
Pussy

>>2729837
>Coming from a big fucking weeaboo that's annoying as shit.

>>2729837
god, they have no sense of FUCKING SHAME. All that fat must inhibit their brains from proper function or something.

HAHA I can't read ANY of these without raging with disgust....

>>2730114

I'm betting most of it is inadequate social skills as children (much younger but when said skills should start being built) and then it becomes worse because their inadequacies are either rewarded, thus encouraged, or not punished by parents, friends, or teachers.

Most weeaboo are social outcasts so parents or anyone of power status (teachers, pastors, counselors, etc.) are hesitant to reprimand behavior like in theses stories. They would rather not make the child feel outcast more or as though the child is not normal. This works against them as we can see. They may gain "friends" or join "groups" but the people they befriend are as socially awkward as they are so they do not learn how to act appropriately in various situations.

I also think some is mimicking of anime characters. Particularly squealing, repetitive phrases, and spazzing out. So they can live as their favorite character.

Just my two cents.

>>2729074

HOLY SHIT I KNOW THIS GIRL

A friend of mine does a really kick ass Integra and this chick was hounding her during the day. Later that night Integra friend was smashed and this chick comes back up to her and asks for a photo. Fat Integra does this stupid serious pose and Integra friend does this drunken douchebag pose. Fat Integra gave me her email and asked me to send her a copy of the photo. I did. With "Friends don't let friends Fat Cosplay" written on her face.

Well, it was my first time in a con, and I wasn't cosplaying, just tagging around with some friends. I think I was around 14-15 at that time. Suddenly, a weeaboo hambeast walked up to me and yelled "OMG! YOU'RE SO KAWAII, YOU'RE JAPANESE ARENT YOU HAUUU~ WHY AREN'T YOU COSPLAYING! DO YOU WANT TO COSPLAY? BECAUSE UMMM... UGUUU~ MY GROUP IS MISSING ONE KEY CHARACTER, AND YOU LOOK JUST LIKE HER, SO KAWAII DESUUU~! PLEASE PLASE COME WITH ME." making all those weird gurgling noises as if she were LIEK OMG 100% MOEEE and pulling my arm with the strength of a tractor. My friends tried to make her go away, but she was so involved in pretending to sing some retarded song in Japanese she just kept walking and dragging me. I got rid of her, but some time later she found me somehow and showed me a sad mess of fabric and stitches, saying "THIS IS THE KAWAII COSTUME! ISN'T IT UBER KAWAII??? PLEASE WEAR IT! UGUUUU~". I was in shock and disgust for the rest of the con.

And yes, those were her exact words. They were etched into my head.

When I was at Momocon 2010 this weird furry chick and her fat fuck of a male friend walked up to me OUT OF NOWHERE and she was like "HEY do you know why he is loveless?" (he had cat ears on and a tail) and I was like "uuuuuuuuuuhh" and she was like CUZ HE HAS CAT EARS. HE'S A VIRGIN. HURP DURP. I just politely went "lolok..." and quickly moved to where my friends were. It was terrifying.

Got three horror stories, only 2 are of hambeasts though.
At my high school there was this dyke who would dress as Shino and where a naruto headband around all day, she would get mad because I said many times how she didn't look like shino. She's gotten into fist fights with one of my friends over naruto crap. (my friend won)
2nd hambeast was at my first convention. Faaaaat, super face piercing Roxas fangirl. Drug this poor skinny acne covered boy in a pink dress around all day on a collar and would bump people out of the way at booths. Bitch elbowed me in the face. I screamed ow (she had pushed me a few times that day already and I was tired of seeing the poor guy in the dress) and she was asked to go outside for a while.

final horror story is of a girl way- WAY too into inu-yasha and FMA. Cosplay to school of Ed on a normal basis, thought Inu-yasha and Ed were real and lived with her, called her boyfriend Alphones. Annoying shit, well all her art looks like it's been traced out of the artbooks from those shows. Saw her at a con and she was shouting Ed lines to get people to move out of her way. Rather annoying.

I'm afraid I have a hambeast story brewing for a con coming up in a month. Big girl, in our anime club (who'da thunk?) just found out I'm going as Seras. She now calls me Seras chan and wants me to call her Rip Van chan. She then proceeded to tell me how she loves Pip and wants to "Rape the first Pip cosplayer she sees" and her fantasy is to have a threeway with a Seras and Pip, with her as Rip Van Winkle
....I have yet to tell my boyfriend who is cosplaying Pip about this girl.

There was a girl who used to hang out with me and my friends at cons and would usually room with us. She was gargantuan, loud and screechy; she was the kind of person who would hug you on a whim and wouldn't let go until you were about to suffocate, and she would always make these squeaky cat noises as she did it. She was also an intensely passive aggressive bitch who would talk behind your back, but I digress.

Anyway, she and I used to cosplay Roxas, which would get her INCREDIBLY mad at me because she thought her ebay bought costume was better and that I was lazy and a conformist for wearing the Org. XIII cloak instead of the Twilight Town outfit. The girl had absolutely no tact or brain to mouth filters.

On the Friday of the con when we were all checking into the room, she had gotten it in her head to have a sword fight with my Oathkeeper keyblade. When I told her not to be rough with it and put it down, she got really sulky and pouted for a while until I left to get a bucket of ice down the hall. I came back to see her hastily stuffing my wig back on the wig head, absolutely ruined beyond all repair.

She claimed that one of my friends knocked it over, but later that night, that friend and another both testified that she had taken it off the head to put it on her greasy one, got frustrated when it didn't fit, threw it over her shoulder on the bed and rolled over on it.

My best friend roomed with an Inuyasha cosplayer at our local con who was on her period the entire weekend and bled all over the bed without telling the girl she was sharing it with.

>>2730301
Shit like this is exactly why I've avoided my campus anime club. Does anyone actually have good experiences with them? It's hambeast central so why join them?

>>She claimed that one of my friends knocked it over, but later that night, that friend and another both testified that she had taken it off the head to put it on her greasy one, got frustrated when it didn't fit, threw it over her shoulder on the bed and rolled over on it.

Why the FUCK didn't you yell the shit out of her ear and smack her across her fat face for that? God these stories make me angry cuz there never is the part when the storyteller says they kicked their asses into next year.

>>2730315

OH GOD

>>2730306
>rolled over on it.

Oh god, I loled.

>>2730328
I did. She pulled two other cute little stunts, but the wig was the straw that broke the camel's back. I was able to buy a new one in the dealer's room and style it, but it didn't look as good as my original did.

>>2730324
It's actually a pretty good club, mostly friends. She's new to the club, her first con too I believe.
I now have to avoid 3 people at a small ass con

>>2730324
The anime club on my campus is the complete opposite. Everyone there is really nice, not hambeasts, and not socially awkward at all. There are a couple of creeps, but they keep to themselves during meetings and sit in the back playing Magic or whatever.

There is a fat, short, small boobed middle eastern girl in my anime club that wishes to cosplay Yoko. This year. At Anime North.
That is all.

I really wish I had exciting stories. Bump for moar.

The only thing I can think of is a while back when I was in grade 12, my friends and I all had a spot where we would sit (and it was a friends of friends spot too, so we were a very large group). Then suddenly these really fat weaboos thought it would be loads of fun to sit near/wish us. They smelled terrible (no really. One of them smelt like poo. I wish I was making this up. Whenever he was near, we could SMELL POO. I don't think he knew how to wipe his ass properly) and one of them wore black lipstick and black everything on her face/body. The other fatter one thought she was "super kawaii" and tried to dress in cute clothes that only helped show off her rolls. They would should KAWAII and all that crap and I saw them at Anime North and wanted to vomit.

>>2730183
Nice

we all called her Fategra

the worst part is that every one wanted her photo and pushed me out of the way,I wasn't a good Integra but I was better then her

>>2729074
That laugh face she has...that alone makes me want to punch her in the face.
BUT NO ONE MESSES WITH MY BLOND BABY!
Time to kick ass.

Btw, if you're ever doing a Hellsing cosplay again tell me, I'll totally join you :3

>>2730505
I still have the stuff for Integra(it a little big now though)and I'm making Luke V. right now all I need it shoes and a wig.

>>2730514
Aughhh, are you serious??
I really wanted to cosplay Victoria at some point...but if you need a Jan or want one I'll make him.
That's only if you want to though ^ ^;

>>2730301

Blonde bomber, can you tell me who is who in that pic? like which one is you etc

>>2730526
...her name is SERAS not Victoria. Victoria is her last name.

SERAS VICTORIA. For fuck's sake. Stay the fuck out of my fandom.

>>2730583
OH GOD SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE!!!!

>>2730583
Do you get upset when someone says Anderson instead of Alexander? Jeezus

>>2730577
sadly I'm not in it because I was behing the camra,but belive I was pretty bad looking

I was one ugly high schooler

I run the anime club at my school and everyone there is a pretty chill bro (no super weeaboos.) Until "Little John" showed up. He was the perfect stereotype: fat, ugly, neckbeard who would want to watch nothing but ecchi anime about 12 year olds. EVERYONE hated this guy.

We wanted to put on a little one day festival thing for the club, and we were taking suggestions and the subject of cosplay comes up. He said "I think all the girls should cosplay mainstream series like Bleach, that way they get the attention they want. When I see non-mainstream cosplayers, I don't know where they're from DUURRR HUUURRRR." He was lucky I was on the phone, or else I would have chewed him out.

Everyone hated him, so we passively made it clear we didn't want him to come back, and he didn't. I was proud.

>>2730526
fuck yeah!the girl who was supposed to be my jan hasn't goten back to me I think she flaked out on it

and I don't think my boy friends to cossplay jan

>>2730725
Fuckyearrr!
It's still rocky about my going to AX, but I'm pretty sure I'm going.
Would it work for then? :3

>>2730736
FUCK YEAH!

I just need to find some way to make my guns...or spray paint some nurf ones : P

>>2730743
Yay, omgg :D
Augh, I was looking at the guns. They don't look so bad...and I could borrow some airguns from my friend and just safety proof them...but I don't know if the airport would be alright with me taking them :'3c

I like how threads on this board dont die every 2 minutes

bump

>>2730324

I'm actually the secretary of my university's anime club, and my boyfriend is the president. We're a large group of friends with no "weeboo hambeasts" to be seen. It's wonderful. :)

We're actually planning on having a "Ridiculously Basic Japanese" panel at a convention this summer so we can teach weeaboos the basics of Japanese. xD

>>2731175

>xD

Back to Gaia with you

>>2731175
sorry, but IMO that's a HORRIBLE idea. You'll definitely get lazy ass hambeasts at such a panel who'll interrupt your class spouting shit like "I KNOW THAT WORD/GRAMMAR RULE ALREADY! TEACH ME SOMETHING ELSE" while spouting bullshit trying to look cool.
Please, don't do this to yourself and your loved ones.

Anime expo 09. Spanked by a hambeast with a yaoi paddle.

Good lord, this makes me sad to be fat. I would NEVER do shit like this to someone, not on purpose. Geez, what happens in most of these whales heads that make them think they can do this shit? Least I was raised somewhat properly. :/

Also, I'm afraid of fat, rabid yaoi fangirls. :/ OMGcon a few years back, got circled in by a bunch of Narutards, and a whale of a Shikamaru came up to me (this bitch was nearly twice my size, and I was dressed as Chouji), had her groupie friends that surrounded me hold me in place, and forced me to make out with the...thing. After some struggling and praying to any higher power that was listening for the strength to break free, I did, and ran to the bathroom and threw up. Urgh.. Told this one before, but might as well again since it has been along while.

>>2731370
...wait, the fat Shikarmaru made out with you?
O GOD I'D CUT MY LIPS OFF IF THAT HAPPENED.

>>2731394
Yeah, I would have if it wasn't for the fact that I had nuked the fuck outta my lips with anything I could find. lol

my best friend in highschool was a hambeast... ;;
-she lived across the street from taco bell and still drove there (less than a one minute walk)
-thought she was sailor moon and that luna REALLY would come for her
-had dolls of tuxedo mask and said he was her boyfriend
-was always really loud and talked about her sexual dreams about anime characters.

>>2731370

Dude, I would have been dragging those fucks by their ears to con security and reporting some sexual harassment. =/

>>2731450
I probably would have if I was abit older at the time, and had more confidence. Being 15-16 and new on the con scene, I started out a shy puppy.

>>2731436
Wow, your friend puts a new meaning to lazy. O_o

>Good lord, this makes me sad to be fat. I would NEVER do shit like this to someone, not on purpose.
Seconded.

well i've got a bit of a story to share with you guys, although it's probably about a different fandom...

So there I am at AX, in a Jrock cosplay. I'm not joking when I say this, but every few minutes i'd have hambeasts dressed in lolita and fat weaboos in general come up to me and hug me and shit, telling me my hair was just like "Mana-samaaaaaaaaaa"(it did look like it but still) in a really fucking annoying voice. I mean, you would think that people would have the manners to ASK you for a hug, but no, they just walk over to you and hug you....There was even a fat lolita chick who PICKED ME UP OFF THE GROUND, and me being 6ft2 made that pretty surprising. The worst part? I had a camera strap around my wrist and when she picked me up it fucking DROPPED, breaking my fucking camera, and the bitch just went like "oh whoops" and walked away, not even giving me an apology.

also later that day i was walking around the main entrance going back to my hotel when I made eye contact with some fat weaboo that was like across the fucking hallway, who ran up to me and shouted out "OH MY GOT I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!" That was pretty fucking weird, considering that happened a second time later that day.

sorry it was a pretty long story and my grammar is probably off, i'm tired

not my story. someone else on here but i thought it was great.

>girl and friends end up in a group with some bitch ham beast
>go back to hotel room on day
>ham beast is using a monster huge dildo on herself

i coudnt stop laughing when i read that

Oh gawd, was that the horse dildo/tentacle one I told?

This thread frightens me...

>>2730114
That's not fair. Not all hambeasts are lacking in brains. Just a good majority of them. Being part of 80% isn't easy. That's alot of ass, yo.

>>2731584

lol i dont remember. it was like a month back about group horror stories. either way i had nightmares about the ham beasts grunting and moaning while pleasuring herself with this horse cock sized dildo.

>>2731570
>>2731584
what

explain. now.

>>2731643

oh ya, some girl and her friends where in a group together, think they went with there club or something.

anywho.... at like the last second they got paired up with this bitch ham beast girl. said she was a fucking pig. ate all their food, wouldnt share her food, cloths everywhere, pretty much the whole nine yards.

so one day at the con the girl and her friends where tired so they went back to the hotel room to rest a bit when they open the door and there, on the girls bed (girl that told the story i might add) ham beast girls was fucking herself with this MONSTER SIZED blue dildo.

girl ened up sleeping in another room if i remember that night

>>2731680
-shudder- Mental scarring ensued.

>>2729100
>>2728998

>>soft core porn

Are you sure that was Love Hina?

>>Exploding panties, boobs, srs making out, ass, lesbo...

Are you sure that was Love Hina? I mean, I have all of it, and don't think of it that way at all...

>>2730301
Rip Van is tall and skinny, how delusional is that hambeast that she pictures herself as her?

>>2731639
>>2731680
Oh okay, yeah. I was in that thread too, with something like that. Haha.

Went to a local con, got a room over the net. Got paired with two cute twins, and a hambeast. Just explored the con the first day, not much to do but joke around and stuff, and then there was the rave at night, which was a joke. That night, we (twins and I) told the ham beast we were headed to the rave, and will be back whenever. Went to it, shit sucked. No good music, small area. They wanted to head back, so we did. When I opened the door of our room, I saw a sight no one should see. This sweaty blob of rolls and rolls and yeast, grunting and making shlopping sounds as she used this..horse/tentacle dildo thing on herself. My eyes, they burnt for the rest of the con.

lol, I'm so proud of my larger friend for NOT being like these weirdo hambeasts. We have to MAKE her go ask for hugs at cons, because she's normally too shy to do anything. Plus she's normally to herself, and usually only acts out around us, (Not horribly, but a little more hyper and fun to be around way) her good friends.

I got one, and it sucks.

So @ ?? con (censored because some staffers watch this board)) this dirty, raggy looking mexican woman comes and tries to hit on me while i was in line with like 300 people to get a ticket. She kept hitting on me (after i told her to piss off) turns out she was trying to hit on any guy (and even a couple chicks) to get someone to pay her way in

So here comes the fun part, after i told her to piss off these 3 lovely spics come out of nowhere and beat my ass down, turns out it was her friends. they did it to one other guy too who called her a slut and was going to get staff. Fun part came right after they targeted me, cops came and tazered the hoodlums, which went into even more laughs when one of the guys starting seizeing. The females spic whale got away

Best part: later that night during day one of the con there was a crowd outside the hotel in the parking lot, there she was with a black eye, broken nose and bawling like a bitch, turns out she hit on this one chick who was bi, and both her GF and BF (she went both ways at the same time apparently) beat the bitch senseless

After laughing like a maniac i went back to my hotel room and drank the best tasting rum ever

Hey guise, I'm going to ask here cos I don't wanna start a new thread and this seems an appropriate thread as any.
It's been years since I've last been at a con, and I need you fine folks to share with me your wisdom: What are the odds of a non-cosplaying con attendee being accosted by some paddle-wielding fatty-chan or other variety of retarded con-goer who doesn't understand personal space? My boyfriend has tentatively agreed to come to Otakon with me this year, and he's already apprehensive enough about the experience as it is (flying down, large crowds, etc), and the last thing I want is him being smacked in the ass by a acne-encrusted, socially-inept hambeast D:

>>2731826

I am now in love with /cgl/

>>2731826

Wow,that's actually kind of sad.

No weeaboo story here,but this random woman came up to me and my friend this one AX and out of the blue,asks us for speed. I didn't know what to say,and my friend was about to answer,but I just pulled her away quickly.

>>2731826
Can we be friends?

>>2731871
Despite what these stories might make you think, it's actually relatively rare. As long as you don't look like the sort of person who they'd "get along" with, they'll probably leave you alone.

Don't make eye contact.

>>2731826
That chick and her hos are badass.

>>2731893

>>2731887

lol ok.

>>2731826

>>2731826
By sucks, I think you mean awesome. I don't know which parts I liked more, the tasering or the bi's dual mates.

>>2731826
O LORD, MENTAL HIGH 5 TO WHOEVER BEAT THAT BITCH DOWN. I LOVE STORIES WHERE THE OFFENDER GETS A GOOD SMACKING.
>>2731871
Are either you or your bf really good looking? By that, I mean you regularly get strangers who tell you you're good looking, or get random compliments all the time, or get hit on a lot. If not, then don't really worry about it. They usually only target people who are more attractive than the average folks.
If you're really worried though, you can
1) Wear really casual clothes, jeans and sweater. No revealing clothes of any kind
2) Avoid anything that might be "cool". Just stand with the crowd and be 1 with the crowd.
3) Always hold hands with your lover, or at least have a lot of physical contact.
I've noticed that those who get glomped/inappropriately touched are usually
1) people on their own, looking like they're not doing anything
2) cosplaying (especially cosplayers of the more popular series)
3) Thin and not strong-looking. Very attractive, etc.
Very broad generalizations, but if you do what I wrote previously and avoid what I wrote above, then you should be ok. Good luck!

>>2731911
No, no, I mean, the girl who got hit on, and her boyfriend/girlfriend who kicked the bitch's ass are badass.

>>2731934
well just in general suckery is kinda what i ment, i mean even if someone walks away from one just fine, no one likes a beat down, but yeah the karma was great

>>2731795

dear god oh god the images

how long did it take her to notice you saw her?
or did she keep on a-chugging with that dildo? dear god

>>2731826

wow.

>>2731795

>>2731893
>>2731938
Thanks guys

I've seen OP's steampunky pendant thing on this post the last three days and I'm kinda hankering for sauce on it now.

>>2731947
Oh, she noticed. She just kept on going. Ugh.. We stayed out of the room for about an hour after the beast went out to stroll for "booty" :/ The room stank like a garbage dump after that..

>>2731990
SHE NOTICED AND KEPT ON GOIN?!

jeez i guess she has no shame
well you wouldnt if you looked and acted like how she was described i guess
thats disgusting
i feel so sorry for you

>>2731985
Same... ;-;

Not a con story, but;
I go out in lolita sometimes. Nothing OTT (a skirt, blouse, and bolero maybe.)
So the other day I went to the bookstore to buy a book. It was a poetry book, and the poetry section is in the same aisle as the manga section. So I was standing there looking for my book, and all the sudden this putrid smelling hambeast comes up and tells me she loves lolita, and asks me what brand my skirt was. I thought it was a little odd, because if she loved lolita like she said she did, she definitely would've known an Angelic Pretty skirt like the one I was wearing.
Anyways, I told her AP and she said, no lie, "Oh, I've never heard of them. Have you heard of Bodyline? I love them! So kawaii!" And proceeds to pick me up/hug me yelling "KAWAII LOLI-CHAN!".
I don't have the heart to be mean to people, so I just suffered through it, composed myself, and got the hell out of there. Then I took my outfit to the dry cleaners because I didn't want her stench on my AP.
Never wearing lolita to a bookstore again.

I once had some guy with a Yuri paddle ask me to sign it as my character (Princess Zelda). I was all "...uhh..suuurre.." and he handed me the pen and said "Only thing is! If you sign it you have to let me spank you with it."
Me: *hands him back his pen* "Pass."
Later that day he came up to me and was all "Pleeease Princess?"
Thank god my rather large and manly friend cosplaying as Ganondorf took that opportunity to show up and weird paddle dude left.

Don't have any stories (thankfully) but I do have this photo.

Bump.

>>2732276
lol@ the guy on the left

>>2732215

Oh wow thats pretty terrible

>>2732276

If she didnt eat so many fucking hamburgers more people would hug her. inface there might be ques if she was fit and wearing something nice

>>2732130
I raged.

Didn't happen at a con. I'm not sure if that makes it any better though.

>>2729683
>She'd stolen all her mothers jewelry and pawned it for money to buy hentai off eBay, you can't make this shit up.

lol, wow.

>>2732484
OHHHHHHHHHHHHH

MY

GOOOOOOOOOOOD

>>2732276
More pics like this. I need to know what to run the fuck away from.

>>2732276
>Looks at picture first time and laughs at the hambeast.
>Looks at it a second time and laughs even harder at the Azn's response.
>Looks at it for a third time and sees it's the London MCM Expo.
>Slittin' wrists.

>>2732484
This guy is a sick fucker.

>>2732484

>>2732484
People who write fanfiction sure have a lot of time on their hands.

>>2732604
Why would anyone be a fan of that?

>>2732484

That was glorious. I would read this man's book.

>>2732627
Troll harder.
Even disregarding the content that was nothing short of painful to read. He's an awful writer.

>>2732608
Agreed. Why would anyone make that terrifying shit up, do not want.

>>2732130
The bookstore: a natural infestation pit home to many a hambeast

>>2731716
Yeah... It was Love Hina...
I could not find the exploding paties scene tho...

Ah, sweet memories.
lol @ me finishing this when I was 10.

>>2733070
You're thinking of mahou sensei negima.

>>2728998
it sounds like you were already bisexual.

>>2724645
what the hell, why would i want to go to a yaoi panel to be hit with a wooden paddle. i've only been to one, and we all watched gay rape porn together. shit was awesome.

OhayoCon 2008. I'm dressed as Touga, and somehow, somehow, this MASSIVE Utena snuck up on me and crushed me with a bearhug. Then I made the mistake of doing the "fighting over the guy" picture with her and Nanami, and Utenasaurus nearly ripped my arm out of the socket.

The only laugh I got out of it was after the con when I found out her alias was "Lil Utena." Why do so many fatties insist on having "Lil" or "chan" in their aliases?

>>2732276

>>2733077
No, there was exploding undies in LoveHina too.

>>2733082
Yeah your probly right.

>>2731871
if he's cute, he may be in trouble. if he's asian, he's in BIG trouble.

>>2732017
my guess is she WANTED to be caught. she's that desperate for attention.

>>2733070
...nice.

>>2724636
You cowardly bastard.
Death by hambeast. That's not a good way to go man.

I am a scrawny, homosex guy who often gets mistaken for a middle schooler despite being 19 years of age. She is a tubby, pimply shota fanatic that bumped in to me at AWA. She ran at me full-on and tackle-hugged me because I was dressed like Tai from Digimon. She then proceeded to talk about how "rapeable" I/he was. She spent the rest of the con hanging around with my group of friends and I, forced herself in to our hotel room and proceeded to make repeated, weirdly sexual remarks about me.

She mentioned her OMGAZN fetish and was somewhat disappointed to learn that I was Korean and not from the Glorious Nippon. Lulz ensued when she tried speaking Japanese to me anyway. She tried to get me to "make yaoi" with this underaged Ash cosplayer. She kept suggesting that I wear Lolita clothes and other "moe" things.

It gets worse. A friend stupidly mentions what university we go to and she goes "OMG I DO, TOO!"

>>2733233
The con passes and suddenly I have a Facebook friend request from her. At the time I thought she was weird as hell and a little annoying but otherwise harmless so I accepted.

Turns out I was wrong as hell and I am never putting personal information such as my AIM contact on Facebook again. I am never going to write comments and messages on my friend's walls that would help people with too much spare time figure out my school schedule ever again. She started IMing me constantly and waiting for me outside of classes.

I started getting annoyed with how clingy she was being, but my friends all tolerated her because she was old enough to buy their underaged asses booze. She drops out half way through the semester but still waits for me outside of classes every day.

Meanwhile, she's getting creepier and creepier and begins enjoying such things as handcuffing me to random objects and commenting on how hot vulnerability is. Shortly before this behavior starts, I get myself a boyfriend who is absolutely amazing.

>>2733234
She then started trying to get us to make out for her, asked us if she could video tape us having sex because she liked "irl yaoi" and asked personal questions about our relationship. I think the weirdest question she ever asked my boyfriend was if my body looked as childish nude as it does when I'm fully clothed. (This wasn't the first time that she made comments that made her sound like a pedo. I've already mentioned that she's really into shota and made several comments about my underaged-looking-ness.)

She also asked if he was turned on by my "innocence and purity" and commented on how we're going to have "beautiful butt babies" because he's black, white and Cherokee and I'm Korean.

Her harassment started getting really excessive. Once, at a party I got a little too drunk and went to lay down in one of the bedrooms without telling anyone. My boyfriend said that he walked in to find her with her hands in my shirt. I don't remember it because I was passed out, but I believe him so I nicely told her to step off. She didn't listen. This annoyed my boyfriend so he told her off as frankly as possible and because of that she decided she didn't like him anymore.

>>2733236
She behaved jealously and would still come around to hang out at my house all the time. I felt bad for her because she had a shitty homelife so me, being the spineless faggot I am, let her.

One day, I was hanging out with my boyfriend and she showed up at the house. We were drinking beer and playing Mario Kart when she arrives, bearing food from our favorite Japanese place. At the time, she was really in to Naruto so if course it was all ramen.

My boyfriend is fatally allergic to shrimp and she had gotten ramen that had come in to contact with some. He took one bite and started having a serious allergic reaction almost immediately. I gave him his epi pen and told her that he needed to be taken to the hospital as quickly as possible and asked if she could drive.

She refused and went off about how she wasn't a "cab service" and was tired of hauling my ass around everywhere just because I have a medical condition that makes it dangerous for me to be behind the wheel and she has OCD and never lets that effect her life and blah blah blah... Honestly, if one of my parents' cars was there I would have risked it and tried to drive him.

>>2733237
Instead, I called an ambulance. I was kind of on the verge of crazed panic and she was certainly no help because she was bitching about how the neighbors are going to think this is some kind of drug/alcohol-related emergency and assume she's up to no good because she's here or something.

So yeah. An Eatbeast who once admitted to being a borderline pedophile felt me up and nearly killed my boyfriend. Needless to say, I don't speak to her anymore.

>>2733239
I wonder if it's the same person.

I staff conventions and go to local anime clubs and shit. I have had run ins with the fat hambeasts. Most current one is at college, this fatass nasty self-proclaimed virgin yaoi twilight fangirl kept trying to get with me. I'm in a long-distance relationship (loli'manerd) and kept telling her I was taken. She did not believe this and would try to cling on me with her greasy, McDonalds hands and flirt with me. I got to the point I had to cuss her out to get her away from me. Her friends told me I made her cry on a daily basis, but they kept encouraging her to come confess to me. It finally ended after an hour-long session of me cussing her out and telling her I'd rather die than date her.

>>2733254
A companion comic.

>>2733233
>>2733234
>>2733236
>>2733237
>>2733239
I would feel bad for you, but.... you're a dirty butt fucking faggot, so go die.

>>2733266
Pfft, why so homophobic Anon? Dad abuse you or some shit?

>>2733270
because you are disgusting, and no my dad never abused me, neither did any other male. But you keep spreading your aids and being a burden on society.

>>2733266
THIS IS THE BEST POST I HAVE EVER SEEN ON /CGL/

>>2733277
While the assumption that most homophobes are just trapped in the closet is a fallacy, I can't help but think that that's the case here.

>>2733266
trolls in my cgl?

>>2733277
lol how are gay people a burden on society

It was last year when I came across this weeaboo in college when I met this seemingly innocent weeaboo. Her name was Jenn. I was at my part time job (in the fun cafe) and things were kind of slow, so I put on The GazettE. The next thing I notice is this strange emo looking chick come rushing in demanding to know who put that on. I spoke up and said It was me and she flipped out and started telling me everything she knew about J-Rock and how she loved it.

It was nice to meet someone who also loved Rock music. But I kind of found her annoying after she got a job with me. Than one day she asked me if I was asian. I lied and said that I was part Chinese, after that she didn't talk to me that much. But my japanese friends started coming in to get coffee before class and BAM she started speaking broken japanese to them, not long after she forced her way to hanging out with them.

>>2733233
>>2733234
>>2733236
>>2733237
>>2733239

This is the best/saddest/creepiest story ever.

>Hambeast weeaboo

I met Bloody Zoro once.

>>2733288
multiple reasons, you tie up the government with your "equal rights" shit, they have better things to do then give you faggots any rights. Secondly you have your shit parades all the fucking time which is a fucking annoying shit filled fuckfest that clogs up the streets in my city. You ever see straight parades? no because we arn't fucking attention whores that prance around proclaiming our straightness. You are the reason aids spread and due to your hiv rates you are a burden on the healthcare system.

>>2733239
It was a good story, but I just can't feel bad for you.

You basically let her do all that shit, so you don't really have much of a right to bitch about it.
Just because you are a fag doesn't mean you have to act like one.

Being as nice as they are, they allowed her to stay. And its a favorite past time for my Friends to discuss people, so trying to fit in, Jenn brings me up and starts saying how I am a wapanese and I know nothing about Japan. After she stopped talking they all looked over at me who was sitting behind her. I have to admit that I was pretty angry. But before I could say anything my Cousin spoke up and told her flat out that I was as much japanese as she was. I guess she was feeling really embarrassed, because she just got up and walked away. After that she told me she was sorry and she wanted to be friends again.

>>2733304

>>2733316
I think OP realized that most of it was his doing for letting it happen since he admitted to it. From the sound of things he had mutual friends with the girl and having been in that situation, it's kind of hard to shake someone when its like that. Especially if you feel bad for them. It doesn't excuse being a door mat, but I've been in a situation that's a less excessive version of this. It's not always so simple.

>>2733304
lol I'm not gay. Just saying. I'm not even the person you're picking on.

So basically you're whining that they want equal rights and have parades sometimes. BAWWWW

>>2733316
I didn't post for people to feel bad about me. I know what I did was stupid now and I shouldn't have put up with her terribleness just because I felt bad for her and we had several friends in common. I should have been firmer than "I'm hanging out with you anymore if you're going to keep doing stuff like this. What you did wasn't cool."

>>2733347
faggot

>>2731826
Bro, you know how to end a story.

>>2733351
Looks like someone is still angry that they used to idolize James Dean until they found out he liked it in his ass.

>>2733361
who

everyone shut the fuck up about gays and the government. i want more hambeast stories, not this faggotry.

i was sitting in the lounge of the hotel i was staying in talking with some friends, well i hear this loud noise up the stairs infront of us and down rolls this hambeast. Apparently she was trying to molest some guy who passed out up there and the guys girlfriend came back and pushed her, and she fell down the stairs.

in middle school, i was quite fat and stupid and weeaboo (but it's okay, I've dropped like 60 pounds and hate anime with a passion now). in 7th grade i didn't have many friends, mainly because i believed that IF THEY DIDN'T LIKE ANIME WE CAN'T RELATE, but then i somehow managed to befriend this girl in art class that was the biggest god damn retard I'd ever met. she topped me by miles and miles as far as the weeaboo shit is concerned and made me super ashamed to like anime. Her name was, I shit you not, Texas. her name was actually Texas. it was really ironic because she literally was the size of Texas. She always reeked of like, ramen and grime and her teeth were seriously jacked up. she'd constantly read inuyasha manga in class (I never read any) and rambled on and on about how amazing rumiko takahashi is or whoever the fuck. although i really liked to draw anime and was very good at it for being like 13, when I needed to draw something not anime for art class I was very capable of doing so. Texas on the other hand would always fucking baaaw about WHY CAN'T I DRAW MANGA, IT'S AN ACCEPTABLE ART FORM!! and for all her projects would just draw some static anime chicks no matter what it was supposed to be about. I was so embarrassed to be her friend because she'd always be spouting random Japanese in public, like when somebody'd do something stupid she'd shout "BAKA NA!!!" and "baka da yo!!!!" and shit. I remember in gym class one time, we had a speaker come in and asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up and Texas raised her hand and said "Japanimation!!" in gym she also used to go on about how skinny her calves were, but she weighed like 250 pounds so like... lol. the only redeeming part about being in school with her was that she was the slowest runner so we all knew that as long as we ran faster than Texas, we weren't going to be last. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh

>>2729683
Lolol. Can you give her DA?

I think I might be able to write a book with all of mine.

First, most memorable hambeast was when I was the ripe young age of 14. So basically I was cosplaying some busty character (not naming out of shame now but tits, I have them) and I'm very skinny. Somehow a "I LOVE YURI" sign had ended up on my back. This is hambeast lesbian code for "OMG HOT CHICK WANTS ME."
I did not want.
She was a cat girl... And weighed about 300 pounds. She was eating... And she s-s-said (sobbing now at painful memories) "LYKE OMG. I WOULD TOTS MAKE OUT WITH YOU IF I WASN'T EATING. NOMNOMNOM."
She then con stalked me... ;-;

>>2733411
not related to the topic, but I was always outrun by the fat kids in high school... no matter how hard I tired. BAWWW.

>>2733304

>You ever see straight parades? no because we arn't fucking attention whores that prance around proclaiming our straightness.

because nobody gets all butthurt about you being you, straightfag. gayfags don't have that luxury.

>You are the reason aids spread and due to your hiv rates you are a burden on the healthcare system.

so, no straight person has ever had HIV or AIDS, ever?

>>2733720
I'm sorry, but
Butthurt fags, haha, get it? Cuz they like it in the butt?

I'M SORRY I JUST HAD TO LOL.

>>2733720
AIDS is the problem of two sects of society: Whores and drug addicts.

Once in awhile you get a AIDS baby but that's because of the two problems above. Isn't it God's way to getting rid of the riff-raff?

>>2733795
>God.

Lol.

>>2724567
SAUCE ON THE PIC!

>>2733795

>>2733797
There is no god on /cgl/. The existence of hambeast weeaboos proves this.

>>2733799
This!
Please?

YOU KNOW WHY I LOVE THESE THREADS?
its because i know somewhere, out there in the vast internet...theres a forum filled with hambeasts.
and they are all bitching about how some skinny pretty bitch stole all of the bishes at a con or was hogging all the "yaoi men" to themselves.

and for this, i lol heartily.

>>2733906
The very idea of this makes me laugh.

>>2733254
>>2733256

what the fuck.

just.... what the fuck.

Sauce on pic PLEASE!! I need that watch!

Desperate Anon is now desperate D:

>>2733824
I, of course, wasn't talking about you. You're completely worthless. Though not unlike the real God but at least there was lulz in the Old Testament.

>>2733987

It's probably on etsy.

lawl.

>>2734045

Good call kinda Anon.

Not a hambeast story (I'm the fat one, really) but I think this is okay to go here. (Some people might recognize the story, but I'll censor some bits for anonymity.)

So, at ____2009 my boyfriend and I ran into this girl (separately) who we had known sort of for a while, who was dressed as Phoenix Wright. My boyfriend complimented her outfit and then had to go run off and do something (we were staffing).

So then later I went on break to go buy stuff in the dealers room with my friend, and that girl comes up to me and asks, "Hey, does __(boyfriend)__ think I'm cute?" I was like "What? D:" "Yeah I know you guys are a couple (and at that point we had been for almost 5 years) but are you bi? Do you like girls? Would you ever sleep with a girl?" I was completely dumbfounded.

So the whole con, if she wasn't following me around, she was following him around. Any time she saw me without him she asked me, "Where's ___?"

For months now ever since then when we go to our club meetings she follows him around, even to the bathroom. =___= I'm just too much of a wuss to actually say anything, and he's too passive. Next month's meeting he's going to, though, if she does that shit again. (If he doesn't I'll have to.)

>>2733239
Oh god that's awful. Was your bf okay?

>>2734045
So far no luck. And it's not a watch. It looks like a pendant.

OP here...I've had the watch picture saved on my computer for a while now. I don't know where it came from. Sorry.

>>2734244

> Next month's meeting he's going to, though, if she does that shit again. (If he doesn't I'll have to.)

and how many times have you told yourself that?

>>2734561

Not at all yet, to be honest. I've been waiting for him to say something to her, but he just won't. If he doesn't I don't have much of a choice.

>>2734244
>>'m just too much of a wuss to actually say anything, and he's a pussy
fix'd

>>2732276
>>2732276
lol that dude's facial expression is priceless

I was browsing through the stories yesterday and then today I had an encounter with the hambeast at school. Today was a school spirit day and our color was yellow and the hambeast wore a yellow pickachu hat.
Not much to say other then I thought she was nice but now after reading >>2731680 >>2731795 I can't look at her.

I used to be friends with this hambeast of a girl and she was absolutely terrible. I haven't thought about her until just recently, however, because she's been trying to start shit with me on the Internet.
While I could sit here and write novels about her and all the stupid things she did (like putting a dating ad out for herself on CraigsList, saying she only likes 'hot Asian boys that are into anime, like me'). But here is my story in general.
At a convention I was staffing for, the location was in a nice hotel. The day before everything was supposed to happen, I was running through checks of the hotel rooms for different events and when I was done, I went to sit in the lobby for a break. Because the convention had not started, there were a lot of business people walking around and old rich couples. Normal people.
Well, hambeast-girl was talking really loudly, screaming about buttsecks and decides to 'freak out' my little brother by sticking her chest out in front of her and gyrating up and down, causing her massive fat-tits to fly EVERYWHERE. I can't even begin to describe how they were flapping around, but to help give visual aid, I will say that she was not wearing a bra in a thin, stretchy shirt. I avoided that shit for the rest of the con.

>>2733277
>>2733266
0/10, die in a fire and remove your stupidity from the gene pool.

>>2734927

Jesus.

>>2733411
i don't respect you for hating anime. in fact, it's pretty obvious that you only hate it because you don't want to be seen as a weeaboo. and i don't respect anyone who says with a straight face "all anime sucks" when they can't possibly have seen every anime ever made, and most of them base that opinion on pokemon and dragonball z.

>>2734927

Craigslist? How old was she?

>>2734927
>putting a dating ad out for herself on CraigsList, saying she only likes 'hot Asian boys that are into anime, like me

oh god, who has that screencap of the neckbeard with the craigslist ad saying he wants a beautiful asian woman who speaks japanese and likes anime?

http://quizilla.teennick.com/tests/7274224/are-you-a-qweeabooq

DOO IT FAGGOTS, and SCREENSHOT THE RESULTS SO WE'D KNOW YOU'RE NOT A FAGGOT YOURSELF.

>>2735040

She just turned 19.

>>I've noticed that those who get glomped/inappropriately touched are usually
1) people on their own, looking like they're not doing anything
2) cosplaying (especially cosplayers of the more popular series)
3) Thin and not strong-looking. Very attractive, etc.

All of this always gets me unwanted attention. Not trying to sound self-centered, but I am good-looking and quite thin and I ALWAYS get hit on by niggaboos when I get separated from my friends/bf

>>2733204
Oh god I think I saw this happen to you, it sounds familiar. I am so sorry. I interrupted a girl once for a picture when she was taking off her shoes but I'm always really polite and wait patiently for them to finish or tell them they dont have to get up or anything.

>>2733454
I know you. I know this story. The girl was eating roasted walnuts. And you were cosplaying Naruto. Or Sango. My memory fails me, but I know who you are.

>>2735063

>>2735049

>>2735049
lol

>>2735330
>>2735348
Shit, that means I'm the most "weeaboo" person right now. Lol fuck.

So way back in high school, I was going through my weaboo-to-otakufaggot transition and HATING everything that was mainstream at the time (after 5 months of Naruto, I gave that shit up like a beached whale), I ended up going to Animu-club because after the loss of Gamer's club at my school, I didn't have a reason to not go home and be badgered by mom about liking DEVILPICTURES. This Philippine hambeast instantly takes attaches herself to me because at the time I was dating her ten out of five stars friend (READ:HURRIHADAKAWAIIGURLFRUNDLOL). After the breakup she thinks its a brilliant idea to start attempting to flirt with me and by flirting with me I mean CREEP ME THE FUCK OUT NIGGA. she begins to make obvious sexual remarks and would tell my other friends the things she would do to me if she had me for a night. Which included but was not limited to: Strap-ons, dildos, zoophilia, necrophilia, and GURO. Actually scare for my life, I try my best to have nothing to do with her. She however, had my AIM so she would pester me constantly until I blocked her and reasoned that I stopped using AIM. She eventually straight up began to ask me to "make hot love" with her, at which point I vomited so much in my mouth that I a doctor would think I had acid reflux or something.
Come momocon 2009, sure enough, she had successfully convinced my ride back home to allow her bluewhaleass into the car. The only thing keeping me from her was my good friend Chris, the faggot. She kept attempting to make contact with me but my and Chris's mindless bantering about Beatmania and other stupid shit prevented her from opening her whale mouth. -to be continued-

Hah, I honestly thought I would get a worse score than this.

>>2735368
Not anymore unfortunately. I will say though, my room is rather terrifying.

LULZ. I thought I'd be WAY worse.

>>2735402
The car ahead of us, a group of friends that were leading us home, however, crashed into a guard rail and prompted hambeast to BAWWW her eyes out and tell her parents that everyone had been in the accident. Said parents freak the fuck out and start yelling at the driver of our car to take her home immediately, instead of following up on our friends at the hospital an hour later. In some form of god's disgusting humor, the car's defogging broke and we ended up chilling at a 24/7 Kroger waiting for the driver's parents to pick us up. Didn't help that hambeast's insane parents kept calling and demanding that we roll her fat ass home. During this time, she FUKKEN SRSLY SWEARS GUIS that she foresaw this accident like she was a fucking psychic. After having enough of this bullshit, roughly a week later, I go off on her at school, telling her I wanted nothing to do with her and she should stop injecting bacon into her rolls. She then actively ignores me and proceeded to post fat-girl angle pictures post comments on my facebook to "show off".
In revenge (in some way/shape/form), my friend got a hand of my phone and got her to send "sexts" to us while we were all wasted off our asses. She has now completely refused to look in my general direction, much less breath in my vicinity. Feels good man.

>>2735448
Haha, I was just gonna ask at what %age do you start being a weeaboo.
YOU NOW NEED TO TRIPFAG AS MOSTWEEABOO LOL.

You guys are weird.

>>2735454
Lol I liked the bacon insult.

Hot damn.

>>2735402
Oh I know this girl. I had a class with her and me, her, and one of our mutual non-anime liking friends sat together. One day she told us about how she was a pedophile. Our non-weeaboo friend proceeded to flip her shit (as any normal human would) and we both told her basically "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU." Following this she stood up, said "FINE IF YOU CANT ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM" and to that we said "WTF YOU SAID YOU WERE A PEDOPHILE" and she, I kid you not, went and stood with her face in a corner in the classroom (it was basically free time, so it wasn't during an actual lecture). The teacher didn't give two shits (fuck yeah coaches) and we were just like GOOD GOD.

And I can testify to her wanting to do weird shit to this anon. She would bring handcuff everywhere. Fuzzy pink ones. I wish I was kidding. Also for her always bragging about her sewing skills, girl does NOT know how to hem. AT ALL.

>>2733239

I have NEVER raged SO hard on 4chan. OMFGGG FUUUUU. ps im bi :/

>>2735152

BULK UP THEN FAGGOT.

>>ps im bi :/
Noone cares.

>>2735505
I have tried. I make a legit effort to gain weight, but both my parent's families have a history of high metabolism. I eat and it just...doesn't GO anywhere. The only issue is I'm a shut-in that gets no exercise. And therein lies the problem...

Small hambeast story. My friend made a little Na'vi on a string and was having fun just floating it around, not even getting up in people's faces with her "Hey! Listen!" She basically just bothered myself and our other friends with it unless other people came by and wanted to play along. So this Hambeast comes along and smacks the hell out of the poor light, going on about how no one likes Na'vi and that she was going to blah blah blah.... So my friend, being less passive than myself, let this girl have it (verbally). Seriously, breaking other peoples shit? I may not like the billion fat Narutos walking around, but i wouldn't break anything they made.

So, I'm at a con (Ohayocon, forget what year), and I'm with a group, and the group is composed of friends, friends of friends, and so on and so forth. The group's 'head' was a nice Greed cosplayer, and so he, being a nice person, let this fat FMA-obsessed-gothy-loli-wanna-be weeaboo in that bought her costumes at Spencer's (ya know, the plastic packaged 'naughty' that go on sale around Halloween? yea.) and/or Hot Topic. She made sounds like a cat, and dubbed herself the name of 'Slay Kitty'. I gave her a fair chance, thinking that she seemed just a girl that liked having fun. Her 'fun' got a little out of hand...

We were winding down, it being Saturday of the con, and were just chilling as we waited for the dance. I was carrying on a nice conversation with the Greed, talking about the day, when she butted in with saying how hot she was going to look at the dance in her leather (it was actually the cheap peather) outfit and proceeded to just be an ass. I ignored this, being a nicer person about it and just kept my mouth shut. She started getting a bit too wild, so I playfully calling her out to give the Greed some space, and she took it way too seriously and SLAPPED me across the face. cont.

Not really cosplay related, but definitely hambeast related. I'm a fairly attractive guy in my mid twenties, who is big in the AMV scene. I hold panels at several major cons, and without fail there is usually a hambeast to interrupt the panel, or worse, wait around for me until I'm done to try and accost me as I leave the VAT. Fortunately I have a good group of friends who don't really tolerate that behavior, so I can count on them to bail me out. I've yet to do cosplay, but I want to do a really epic steampunk cosplay as soon as I've built some props. I think I'll carry a big ass cane to beat down the weeaboos.

>>2733304
watch out we have a raging hambeast in this thread.

>>2735402
You should talk about her "cosplay", too. (because I know who you are talking about and since when has she been friends with Chris?)
Or just the things she wears in general.
And how "all these guys" want to fuck her.

>>2735624

My vision was blurred a bit because she had slapped my temple, but I backed off, saying "WTF" and the Greed as well as the two others standing by started in on her, saying "what is wrong with you" while she put on the look of a puppy that didn't know what it had just done. I insisted I was fine, though it was just because I didn't want to make a scene and draw the attention of security. I shook it off and ignored her. Bitch didn't even apologize to me.

Anyway, we went to the dance, but stepped out because it was hot. So, we all agreed to meet at the pool and go for a swim. Guess who tagged along? And in a bikini, no less...

She was always 4 inches from the Greed, being obsessed with him and clinging to him whenever she got the chance, even when he was clearly trying to get away from her. The Greed and I were trying to talk once again, and she flew out of nowhere and wrapped her bulky arms around his neck, and clung there as he was trying to swim (to get her off). I decided to call it a night and said my goodbyes, then left.

Needless to say, she found some other guy (a not-so-good-looking Scar cosplayer), and they both repeatedly thank him for 'hooking them up' when he says he didn't do anything. Well, at least she's happy... .___.

>>2735402
>>2735454
>>2735486
LOL wow SAMEFAGGING much? Easy on the caps dude. Oh, and if you want to be more convincing next time, try altering your writing style a little.

That bitch makes me rage though. You should've harpooned her.

>>2735701
Actually I'm totally different from them. But we all used to be friends with her.

Wow, I like how all I've ever gone to is furry conventions and this type of shit has NEVER happened to me. I think I'll stay away from animu tard central for now. D:

At least furries are to shy to do 90% of this heinous crap, I'm lucky if I get a scrawny guy in a wolf shirt asking me if I want a hug. Well, I guess thats not lucky, but at least it doesn't smell like week old garbage and eau de ramen and leaves if you tell it too.

Oh, and all the stories about hambeasts breaking shit, I would have FUCKED them up D:<
Bitch don't touch my stuff!!!

Okay, I wish I was lying about this, but I assure you. 100% true weeaboo hambeast story that left me with a literal SCAR afterwards.

So anyway, in Middle and High School I was friends with this girl, and SHE was friends with this awful, pitiful hambeast. She was fucking huge (length AND width-wise), a gigantic dyke, super hardcore into kawaii yaoi buttseks and just really, uncomfortably hardcore into horses. Like, drew anime-style horses on fucking EVERYTHING.

Anyway, she was one of those gigantic social retards who thought that the harder she hugged you, the more she LIKED you! And she wanted in on me pretty hard despite my repeated, very clear refusals to date her. After we were departing our mutual friend's birthday dinner, as we stood in the parking lot, she fucking LIFTED ME UP in this vicious bearhug and squeezed as hard as she fucking could. She had me pinned in this awkward position that put a lot of pressure on my left breast, and as she squeezed I felt this horrible pressure and pain and I started squealing wildly for her to let me go, that she was hurting me.

I felt this awful tearing, like something was literally SNAPPING inside of my left breast, and went totally limp with agony and started sobbing. She finally let me go and I ended-up crumpled on the ground holding my chest.

: | She literally shattered my tit. A scar formed internally and I had to get surgery to have the mass removed later that year. TRUE FUCKING STORY.

>>2735701
lol If I saw all that I would have yelled the same shit.

>>2735846
D: This is like the worst thing I have ever heard. I am so sorry! Jesus, I would have stabbed her in the fuckin head.

>>2735846
You could probably have sued her or charged her with assault for that.

>>2735902
I would have shattered her fucking head

>>2735902
See, I really SHOULD have, but I was like 16 at the time and I was stupidly embarrassed that I needed surgery just because a fat sweaty nerd had hugged me too hard. : \ I wish I'd sued her ass, really, that surgery didn't pay for ITSELF after all.

>>2735846
What happened after? Did you tell the cunt off?