>>something that some moron thought would sell like hotcakes....and did to the regret of humanity

probably something llike this

btw, nice comic
want to see more

I guess the phrase "I'd hit that" took an odd turn in someone's head and went "Hey, let's make a paddle with Yaoi written on it!"

So they made them and sold them and now we're stuck with them.

some one hit me with a yaoi paddle ONCE.

I punched her in the stomach just hard enough to get the point across and told her that next time I wouldn't be so nice.

I had a girl break my waist armor on a costume before with one of those things. I told con security, and they took her badge away and kicked her off site.

Those fucking yaoi paddles are ASSAULT as far as I'm concerned, and I'll be damned if any cunt ever hits me with one.

that girl isn't fat enough, has no greasy hair and/or dark roots, and she has TWO eyebrows

I say this artist has never been to an anime con.

Another comic from the artist.

a group of slaves and masters at yaoi con with paddles and everyone said "ohhh that looks kinky....LETS DO IT!" and that my children is how yaoi paddles came to be.

Yaoi paddles havent found their way over here yet, thankfully. Looks like Im still safe.

>>1787288
They're from Anime News Network. They're probably trying not to alienate their target audience too much.

This story has been told before.
I was at AX walking around when some little brat came up from behind and spanked me out of no where with one of those fucking things. I screamed at her and she ran off giggling, then did it AGAIN an hour later.
I grabbed the thing from her and pitched it into the street, where it was run over by 2 cars and a bus. Needless to say it was destroyed and the girls went wailing to the AX staff to told her to GTFO after I and a bunch of witnesses said she attacking me without permission.
Aaaahhh satisfaction...she cried for a good hour.

European anons, do you have people with yaoi paddles at your cons?

German anon here, I've never seen any at our cons, but I'm SO VERY AFRAID that these... things... will find their way to us

I think its exclusive to america and our fascination with physically abusing people in the ass area with foreign objects

>>1787298
Like I just wrote, we dont have them in Denmark yet.
Im sure I saw a picture from a recent danish con, of two girls running around with a yaoi paddle... So I guess I'll know whether or not they have 'finally' found their way to my silly country, in november. :|
Not looking forward to it.

I help run conventions in Texas, and the second i see them being sold, i nicely ask them to stop.

damage usually had been done though, giggly middle schoolers were already swinging them around at anything with a cosplay on.

>>1787309
On the other hand, if *I* started selling them in Germany, I'd doom our cons but I'd make a tiny fortune and I could spent it on Pocky and cat ears and stuff.
I think I should do that.

>>1787317
>cat ears

NO.
And as long as you dont go to danish cons, you're welcome to sell them in Germany.

>>1787325
But I need cat ears to express my otherkin soul
I'll stop that now.

>>1787316
Who are you? I know most of the organizers of Texas cons, don't recognize your name.

London Expo had them last year, but there were no real incidents I heard about (especialy compared to the stabbings at muslimcon).
The prop and weapon rules at most UK cons are such that they'd be confiscated on sight.

I could see /cgl/ doing this.

>>1787419
They already do.
Turn on your DS in the middle of the Fanime masquerade and you will get a shit ton of butthurt anon bitchery.
I just draw naked female torsos over and over again and see what people say.

>>1787298
they were being offered at YaYuCo in 2007...but hardly anyone bought them, so I guess we're safe so far...

>>1786493 Is it something in some Yaoi Manga that somehow got materialized into reality

Probably not in the stuff translated into english right now.

>>1787317
hey, don't even think about this without aking me first!

making money of other people's misery is MY business!!!

>>1787419
>>1787431
Oh man, I heard about some of the funny shit that went on during last years Fanime Masquerade.
I want someone to screen cap it this year, I hear the skit list is looooong.

>>1787564
As long as they aren't all the fucking Haruhi dance like they were last year...
Ahh...so many boos...

I wanna know why no one's perfected the 'hetero bat'.

>>1787316
how does it feel to be a part of the group of assholes who fucked with con legend Kevin Lillaird

>>1787881

Assault and Battery.

>>1787881

I will do this. Because I often feel like the only female whom hates yaoi!

what would /cgl/'s bat say?

on one side "Jelous Fattie"
other side "lol, butthurt"

>>1787939
I'd have thought it's be "jealous fatty" on one side and "whiteknight" on the other, maybe.

I'm always surprised that ANN hosts this comic, since it's actually pretty accurate and pokes a lot of fun at the Weeaboos.

>>1787973
i feel like the buthurt would be best. becuase that is what is going to happen.

Truth be told I love being paddled. As hard as their arms can muster. I'll be damned if I don't act like I hate though.

>>1787388

Haha oh wow. Don't know if I want to do work in the Artist Alley more or less now.

The convention I help run has classified them as "sex toys", which means any dealer who sells them to underage kids gets the boot.

I'm still thanking god that we dont have yaoi paddles in our country. I'll smash someone on the head with that thing if I got smacked in the ass.

Any bitch who even touches me with a Yaoi paddle is gonna regret, but they will get fucked up...hard. And it will be worth getting kicked out of whereever it happens.

i wish girls with yaoi paddles would try to hit me, i would retaliate by offering a hug, but groping their ass

I actually did not know people there hit TOTAL STRANGERS with those pads...i had always tought they have them to have fun between friends D: never that way...

Thanks god i'm venezuelan and we have small boring cons (karaoke, cosplay (uterly shitty ones) and videogames...and just plain that) and stores are so poor they always sell the same things...and not those things.

I only ever had one guy try to hit me with one...
: /
blocked with the inside of my arm and got a bruise.

>>1788039
Are you kidding?
I work Artist Alley in the HOPES of getting commissions like this.
I charge more then $10 though.

Wow actually I've never seen anyone hit someone with a yaoi paddle before. But then again, I go to one con a year and that's AE.

\(o.0)/

But I'm guessing it's like that anon said a play on the whole 'I'd hit that'

>>1787903
who is Kevin Lillaird, sorry im kinda new to the cgl scene. I understand why the paddles are stupid, and if i got hit with one with out permission, id chase the stupid fucker down and break it.

>>1788804
There WAS a website called fansview.com
It was one of the first anime convention coverage websites with almost immediate updates. I used to tell my mom to look for me at the site when I went away to a con because Kevin would ALWAYS be at any con I went to with his camera. He's a nice guy and didn't deserve what happened to him.

And speaking of what happened to him, I still don't know really anything than something about him falling or something, people assuming wrong things, cops involved, and now his site is GONE. Wtf??

i seriously dont get it at all. First time I saw one, I just sort of stood there like an idiot trying to figure it out until the chick asked if I wanted a picture. I said yes to seem like less of a creeper...Still have the picture, and still have no idea.

>>1788874
Wait, wat?

They just write YAOI on a literal paddle?

Not even like.. a spanking paddle? But an oar?

That's retarded.

>>1788874
I'm ashamed to recognize that picture as being taken only a couple blocks from where I sit right now. D=

>>1788874

Why the fuck do Reno cosplayers do this pose?

Reno never does this fucking pose.

>>1788872
What anon said.


Any update on Kevin? I liked that guy, he was cool.

>>1788956
Because most Yaoi Reno cosplayers are skanky attention whores who think it's "cool" to pretend to lick cunt when they're trying to portray that Reno is actually hot for his fellow male team members and/or Cloud.
If that makes any sense.
It doesn't?
Exactly.

This thread is lacking resolution.

>>1788987
I agree, The reason behind yaoi paddles is that people just want money, you put "yaoi" on a freaking stick and dumbass fangirls will go nuts over it....thread over, go back to your shame filled lives.

The only Yaoi paddle that I've ever seen at a New Zealand con was brought over by an American... We all had lulz posing with it, but I think everyone is far too lazy over here to make our own.

Though, someone was trying to sell Yaoi baseball and cricket bats on the NZ cosplay forums.... Dont know how they went.

>>1788987
I had never bothered to think of the origin of yaoi paddles. We can safely guess that 1) they originated in the US, and 2) probably are only 3-4 years old.

This unfortunately is not very useful.

Has anyone ever cracked someone with a yaoi paddle and got fucking dropped in retaliation?

At the risk of sounding like a faggot, where can one buy one online? Tried eBay, Amazon......I want one for the local S&M Group, as a "conversation piece" along with the Fraternity Paddles.

>>1786493
Yaoi paddles were created by the Aniti Christ, Chris T. Susej of Earh 3 with the sole intent of making us all a little more hateful for his eventual return. His first "miracle" will be the elimination of said paddles, which will make all congoers suck his vagina out of relief and gratitude.

Also, remove the speech from the last panel and that comic is gold.

>>1787388
... I must do this.

>>1789231
they hentai/yaoi/yuri dealers usually have them at a cons. i think you are a huge retard for wanting to buy one though. you can get a boat paddle like that at a store and write yaoi on there for prolly less money.

GIRUGAMESH

GIRUGAMESH

My friend was cosplaying Deidara despite my warning. I was plainclothes as I'd only brought 1 costume and I had passes for 2 days.

Hear a yaoi fanbrat screaming but my brain is fried after the first day and don't put 2 and 2 together until far too late. Turn around to see some Narutard (in what could loosely be described as closet Sasuke) wielding a yaoi paddle with a target lock on said friend's ass. All I can do is try to shove her out of the way, which I don't do because, well, she's right next to the stairs.

Suddenly another friend who'd disappeared to go grab a drink pretty much materialized out of thin air and intercepted the fantard and puts her in some kind of partial headlock.

Huffy narutard informs us she's going to get us kicked out by staff. Unfortunately staff was 20 feet away and saw the whole thing.

Rumor is that at sakuracon they were banned because some weeabrat hit venue staff with it hard enough to leave a mark. VENUE STAFF. those guys are like all 50+ and all think we are faggots anyway so lets give them an edge to hate us more. she giggled and thought it was lulzy till SPD arrested her for assault.

>>1789413

But I can't get to a con, and i'm like half a continent away from the nearest body of water.

>>1787365
>>1787903

TheSockNinja on most forums. I'm running Anime Overload's game room, have helped with cosplay staff at lots of places, and have filled in with loads of other departments at a smattering of conventions when staff was short. Only departments i've never worked in was Security (or "safety" as it's now called) or Registration. That may change come Ikkicon though...Mike's been asking for help and i'm inclined to do so.

Yaoi paddles are the bane of my existence. Every time I see one of them(the yuri ones too) I get the urge to just break the piece of shit. YOU'RE NOT RANDOM, YOU'RE NOT FUNNY, YOU'RE NOT CUTE, NO I DON'T WANT TO BE HIT BY IT, NO I DON'T WANT A PICTURE WITH YOU HOLDING IT/HITTING ME WITH IT. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!

>>1789710
I'm sorry but when I read that I just pictured Chris Masters teleporting in and putting a 13 year old in a Master Lock, then one of the staff members counting her out.

>>1788956

I think he's shown doing it on a poster once.
And they only buy the merch to look cool.
That's why.

is it possibly a reference to the sound people make when hit with the paddle haha

>>1789710
Unfortunately for the Narutard or you guys?

>>1789956
She complained about security, security came over and when she explained her case was all "lolno".

She didn't get thrown out (as she hadn't actually done anything wrong, being prevented from doing so) but the paddle was confiscated and she got a warning.

Good ending for us.

>>1789977
Complained TO security, rather.

>>1789921
Awesome friendly hispanic guy, 6'3", 210 lbs of more or less muscle. No Chris Master but I'd be freaked the fuck out if he put me in a headlock.

>>1788446
you should smack their ass instead

>>1790163
D: MY EYES.

Went to a few cons on the east coast with no paddling incidents.

I've never seen one of those at an Australian con.

>>1790163
looks like the uglyest dominatrix evar

>>1791259
Think security at aus cons are way more uptight then america. Thank fuck for that. Fujoshi bitches fuck me off.