Wizard for two years.

>>65129635
What powers have you gotten?

>>65129688
>powers
>superhero shit
Go watch Zetman or some shit

>>65129753
Well I'm sorry what spells have you been able to do?

Anonymous, this is yourself. Using my mage powers, I've gone back in time to fulfill the stable time loop where I tell you being a wizard is fucking awesome.

Keep on trucking, partner. I am literally swimming in magic bitches. Because I changed their density to be a liquid. So they're, like, slimegirls now. And I, no, WE are swimming in them. And it is fantastic.

I achieved wizardry status not too long ago, I'm am currently studying black magic and transmutation in order to find a way to become the little girl. I'll post results if I ever achieve this for future generations.

>>65129560
no worries, you're pretty much "in the zone"
just don't do something stupid like pay for it. from a physical standpoint, sex feels the same as masturbation

>>65129926
>I'll post results if I ever achieve this for future generations
Then ask the mods to make it a permanent sticky at the top of the page.

I'm sad to report that I failed the task and I'm now a druid.

Jesus /a/ is old

>>65129926
>>65129981
If you lose your virginity as a post-wizard little girl, do you lose your wizard status?

For a minute I thought you meant that the show was 3 years old, then I would really feel old.

13 more years.

>>65129983

Sorry, you're gonna have to leave. No sluts allowed in this thread.

>>65129926
>become little girl
Take me home, mister wizard.

Hello /a/. I have come back through time to stop a malicious dark mage from turning innocent little girls into sexually aggressive slime girls. I hear he's in this thread. I challenge you to a wizard duel, dark mage. If you remember our little rundown in 2036, you'll know where to meet me.

6 years to go

just turned 30 this friday. didn't feel anything special.

>>65130084
Good luck, I'm behind 7 spell wards.

fucking magicians

>>65130125
You still have to train your circuits. It isn't automatic, you just get 1 MP and you have to build it up yourself after that.

>>65130125
Were you...touched as a child? By an uncle perhaps?

>>65130125
>Doesn't have an INT score high enough for even cantrips

>>65130165
Have you forgotten our last battle, when I used my hammer to break your wall of space time? You're mere seven wards stand no chance, fiend!

>>65130084

>you'll know where to meet me.

I'm here for the gangbang

I can't comprehend someone that will willingly eventually turn like 60, be near death, look back, and say 'Holy fuck. I never lived.'

There's a good reason in that one Simpsons ep where the fat comic guy is about to die, the last thing he says in revelation is "oh i wasted my life".

If you're hitting 30 and haven't partied like a retard in some for or another, you've missed out on a lot. I'm 1 year away from it and I'm regretting not doing a LOT of shit. And I'm a god damn introvert.

>don't pay for it

This advice comes from morons who have probably tried it, were all nervous and clumsy, and the experience sucked because it wasn't an epic porn fest like they expected. The point of sex is it gets better the more you do it because you get better at it like everything else. Obviously its better if its with a person you love, but since you're going in there knowing it's a whore, you best be popping a fucking viagra and using your hour to it's fullest.

Yes, I know I'm talking into the wind here. Fuck you /a/.

5 more years
Can you be a father and a wizzard?
If I donate my sperm to a girl (no sex involved) so she can get pregnant, can I still be a wizzard?
Not that I intend to do that. I just always wanted to know.

>>65130125
I'm guessing you're wizardry potential was stolen one night by a succubus. I feel sorry for you, /a/non.

>>65130084
> I have come back through time to stop a malicious dark mage from turning innocent little girls into sexually aggressive slime girls.
Stop? Why don't you help him finish this faster?

>tfw never going to be a wizard

>>65130282
Fuck you too, faggot. Get out.

>>65130289
The world is not ready for sexually aggressive slime girls.

>>65130282
Dust in the wind....
All we are is dust in the wind.

>>65130398

I thought it was airborne mini dust y'all.

So there are apparently 250 days until my 30th birthday and I don't see myself losing my virginity any time soon.

95% of /a/ will die non-virgins.

How does this make you feel?

>>65130461
Feels good to know that only the worthy will become wizards.

>>65130282

Don't try to speak for all of us. There are many of us who simply don't care for anything like that. Socializing is easy, I just prefer not to do it.

Millions of people have sex every day, it's not some hard or unobtainable thing.

>If you're hitting 30 and haven't partied like a retard in some for or another, you've missed out on a lot.

What are you, 12? Partying like a retard isn't the only way to live a life.

>Obviously its better if its with a person you love, but since you're going in there knowing it's a whore, you best be popping a fucking viagra and using your hour to it's fullest.

Just leave, you fucking slut.

>>65130461
Feels fucking shitty. I got with some random girl while super drunk, years ago, and will now never gain wizard powers or get laid again

>>65130282
For all of human history, people have managed to live rich, fulfilling lives through endeavors that don't involve getting drunk and fucking.

>>65130631
That is simply untrue, getting drunk and fucking have been the two most important motivators for just about all of recorded history.

God I love Sena's butt

>>65130674
Yea, fire was pretty much invented for the sake of building stills, and the wheel was invented so guys could impress women with their sweet rides and get them out of their mammoth pelts, and so on and so forth for all of human progress, with the exception of the George Foreman Grill of course.

>>65130565
Do you have to remain abstinent after becoming a wizard?

>>65130606

what i love about anti-social introverts, such as yourself, is that altho you feel very comfortable in your little hole, and have convinced yourself that that sort of BS is the truth, you LOVE it when you're exposed to 'life' just a tad.

But fuck it. I know you'll just keep throwing retarded arguments at me. Have fun never knowing what it's like to unload a full burst of cum into a girl who's begging for it in your ear.

>>65130631

Yes, I'm sure they have. Good for them!
The ones fucking and drinking had twice as much fun. But anyway, i wasnt even talking about just fucking and drinking. Those are only parts of 'living'.
Going out to experience life while you're young, able, full of fucking energy, etc, is much different than trying to do it as an old man. Whatever, have fun making up stupid reasons why you'll waste your time.

>>65130882
Of course.

>>65129926
I'm looking forward to your findings.

>>65130019
Wizards must remain virgins (I'm skipping the technicalities here), and true little girl status is incompatible with wizardry. If you become a little girl, your little girl form will be unable to conduct your wizard powers, reducing you to Christmas Cake level.

There's a couple workarounds. The most common is to give oneself the mere appearance of a little girl. By being an accurate fake, rather than an actual little girl, you can retain your powers just as if you had taken on the form of a raven or something. Alternatively, and with greater risk and reward, you can make arrangements for your little girl self to become a magical girl. It's also possible for a wizard turned little girl to become a witch through mana theft, so be cautious.

>>65130284
It is possible for your mana to be drained from donated sperm. In fact, there have been cases of witches running sperm banks to steal magic from donors. If you truly wish to create life, consider crafting a homunculus from your genetic material.

>>65130284
An interesting question. We must consult the Library of the Sages at once!

>>65130693
.sena

>>65130882
Yes, any contact with humans of the female variety will damage your mana pool permanently.

Any sexual contact and you're, well, fucked.

>>65129560

Is this pic from Gurenn Lagann?

Can we get a yoko thread going?

>>65131016
is dis nigga srs

>>65130893

>and have convinced yourself that that sort of BS is the truth

Same to you, buddy.

>you LOVE it when you're exposed to 'life' just a tad.

'Life'? The partying that you described earier? No thanks. Like I said, plenty of ways to live a life, just because everyone else parties and acts like retards most of the time, doesn't mean it's the only way to live a life.

>Have fun never knowing what it's like to unload a full burst of cum into a girl who's begging for it in your ear.

Wow, your life must be amazing, considering that seems to be the most interesting thing that it has going for it.

>>65130893
What I love about people like you is that you think you know what's best for everyone and think you're always right. Not everyone shares the same views on life and how it should be lived that you do. I'm sorry is this revelation may shock you, but it's true. You sound as if you have a high sense of moral rectitude....

Are you female perhaps?

>>65130893
Getting an education is a worthy use of time. Building a career is a worthy use of time. Partying, is a useless leisure activity that offers nothing but temporary enjoyment.

In 10 years, all that partying will mean absolutely nothing. It's as much a waste of time as playing video games or watching anime. When you're old and have calmed down, all the "skills" you learned will be worthless.

It seems we have a female in this thread that is jealous we are aspiring to something greater than bodily desires of the flesh and not giving into breeding with wretched Whores of Babylon such as herself!

>>65130988
Which is alright, because demon girls are WAAAAAY better than your typical 3D whore. Ageless, interesting, mischievous, smoking hot...you just gotta be knowledgeable about the type. Like, seriously, watch out for Succubi. Just like normal whores, they're just in it for your mage energy. Yuki Onna are safe so long as you have an escape route and change your charge to ice elemental. Speaking of elementals, I was with a flesh elemental once. It was mind-bendingly orgasmic, so long as I kept the pale which hid her true form up. My favorite so far has been this faerie who did unimaginable things using her diminutive size.

>>65131410
I saw a mermaid and a lamia going at it once. Interesting does not begin to paint the scene.

I'll never be a wizard.
I'm too attached to the idea of raising someone to be better than me. It would be a waste to know despairs, life lessons, hopes and catharses and not guarantee at least one young soul a chance to skirt their feet across those waters as they ride towards future far brighter terrifyingly broader than mine.

>>65130369
>going back in time to try to change things
Shit, how incomplete is your study of time magic? Everyone knows you can't change fate, fag. The best you can do is set up a parallel universe and run amok there, which you shouldn't give two fucks about. Or he does try, and you stop him. I doubt that.

>>65131658

Adopt a kid. Volunteer somewhere. Become a teacher. Plenty of ways to impact a young child's life and steering it into a bright direction without having to spawn another human being.

>>65131658
But you can totally do all that with a summoned familiar.

>>65131797
A child should have a mother and a father.

>magician

but OP I already am one, its a sweet gig, when can I be a wizard

>>65131876
Life isn't fair

>>65130125 here

>>65130199
i got molested by a high school girl when i was in kindergarten. probably thats why

>>65131123
>>65131148

See, these morons' answers were predictable, but this guy;
>>65131225

Just takes it to a whole new level of fucking retarded.

Guess what asshole. You'll never be 19 again. You'll never be 25 again. You'll NEVER get those years back. I love it how you kids have some sort of image of dumb jock stoners a-la stiffler-style when ever someone mentions 'partying' or 'living life'. No it's about experiencing things you'll never be able to do again. The hilarious part is, some of the biggest party life people I know are the people with the highest and most expensive education (medical/engineering).... so i have no idea wtf you're talking about.
But like i said. Have fun with your lifestyle. I hope you can look back in 50 years and say 'Fuck that was awesome'.

>>65132007
You just can't leave us hanging tell us how.

>>65132079
Took you a while to shit that out.

7 and a half more years. I'll be dead before then though.

It's funny seeing the butthurt females ITT.

The thing about them is that they constantly need attention otherwise they feel worthless. Thus, this thread is an affront to them because it's sending the message that they're not needed.

Females are become more obsolete by the day. Sex in fact can be simulated and even feel better now with toys. I was on some forums some years ago where they review toys, and normalfags were saying that some models made sex for them feel absolutely terrible in comparison afterwards.

And this will only get worse, as things like robotics and holograms improve.

>Have fun with your lifestyle
>Have fun never knowing what it's like to unload a full burst of cum into a girl who's begging for it in your ear.
>Whatever, have fun making up stupid reasons why you'll waste your time.
It says to have fun but it won't leave us alone. How do we make it disappear?

>>65132079
Typical American teenager. And people wonder why America is so shitty.

>>65130282
>The point of sex is it gets better the more you do it

I'm going to have to be real honest with you...
I think the point of sex is reproduction.

Sorry to burst your bubble.

If I came in a girl's mouth, do I just become a Stand user?

Many anon, myself included, are overlooking possibilities. It would be exceedingly easy to hit 30, and then become a wizard and an hero on the same day.

>>65132302
Only if you when guy when you said girl. Because jojo is for fags

>>65129560
I turn 40 in 1 day, 9 hours and 2 minutes.

Think I'll get any good spells?

>>65132079
>No it's about experiencing things you'll never be able to do again.
Who cares?

You think, right now, that you'll give a shit about all the girls you fucked when you're fifty. Wonder if you'll actually give that much of a shit when you're really fifty. Probably not. The past is the past, it's irrelevant after it's over. It's really fucking irrelevant decades after it's over.

I sometimes feel like I'm wasting time, but when I get that feeling, I don't think "man I should really go out and fuck bitches", I think "man, I should really read a book, or learn a skill, maybe learn a new language", something productive. When I look back on my younger days, I sometimes think I wasted time, but I don't think "man I lost the chance to do all that shit that only younger people can do", I think "man, I could have been improving myself in ways that benefit me now and into the future".

And it doesn't matter if the people you know are in expensive education. That was never the point. The point was, it's the education that's valuable. The partying is a meaningless leisure activity. There's nothing wrong with leisure activities, but they aren't important.

>>65132214
One thing I'm noticing between both you victimized guys and the female is that you're all assuming it's mutually exclusive to party or build a life.
There is no reason to, so why limit yourselves?

>>65132155

had to watch Mysterious GF X.
:3

>>65132258

The best part is, I'm European and moved to Canada. But your awesome powers of stereotyping just proves how much you lack in experience.
Thanks!

>>65129560
Just under 7 years to go.
I will remain vigilant.

You crazy kids and your lack of existential nihilism... Life is a got dang sandbox, do as you please. Inherent value and meaning? Fuck that shit, lies and delusions, defense mechanisms, to cope with the sheer scope of it all. Toss it, lads, you don't need it.

>>65132142
my cousin who's in high school and staying with us came with her friend. it was hard to recall, but i was left with her friend and she asked me to show her what's in our basement. stuff happened, and i had to wash my hands after that because the smell was strong... long story short, i never had a girlfriend till after i graduated from college. sucks to be an oldfag who's only hobby is collecting anime and mango.

>>65132428
I never even said that. I am content with my lifestlye and will continue to leech off of my parents until they die. I don't even care if you're living a superior life or not, just don't force your shit on me.

>>65132489
>partying
>experience
These is what retards really believe.

>>65132424
>There's nothing wrong with leisure activities, but they aren't important.

This is a terrible viewpoint.
Your fucking education and ever grand wisdom is useless if you can't even enjoy leisure.
Mind you, this is coming from someone that likes to do all that (reading books, self-educating and improving)

Five years ago since April. I still can't believe I'm a quarter of a century old.

But then again my mother says I honestly still look like I'm 19, though that might have something to do with never having worked a day in my life, or having any major stress on a regular basis.

>>65132550
I see this as one option, but if I can find a job that pays just enough, I can move to a small apartment or rent a small house for cheap. Tons of those things where I live.

>>65132550
How is something forced on an imageboard where nobody has an identity?
Doesn't it just mean you're easily provoked?

>>65132498
Existential nihilism is for fags. Existential ennui is where it's at.

>>65132550

I doubt anon is forcing.... it's more like.... "Hey bro... how about you give some other stuff a shot? You might like it."

>>65132643

>You might like it.

Fuck you.

>>65130893
>you LOVE it when you're exposed to 'life' just a tad.

Bullshit.

>>65132643
I think that's not the same thing as writing three paragraphs.

>>65132711

No thanks dude, I only like cute girls. YOU OOGLY.

>>65132584
What the fuck is this "if you can't even enjoy leisure" nonsense? I do enjoy leisure activities. That doesn't make them valuable. Anything that doesn't cause a marked improvement in yourself or the world around you is a waste of time. That's just the way it is. To pretend that unproductive leisure activities are a good use of your time, that's delusional.

>>65132410
You go archmage at 50 years, you'll probably have your grimoire by then.

What's your favorite show this season?

>>65132643

>you might like it

You must be new here, faggot.
Everyboard is a variant of
"I had fun once, and it was horrible"

Followed by "So hows the flavor of the month/new slavshit/r9gay, lifting...."

Why do preachy normalfags even come to this board

>>65132772

Who the fuck said anything about valuable?
Your YEARS are valuable. Didn't think someone with such a vocabulary could be so fucking dense.

Go outside dammit, get off my fucking lawn!

>>65132859
I don't know man. Their time could be better spent helping people who are actually seeking help in /adv/ or /r9k/ but yet they come here. I still haven't figured out why though.

>>65132859
Because /b/, /soc/, or /v/ are too disgusting or shitty, even for them.

>>65132853

Ahahah. So true.
Actually, i'm pretty oldfag at this point. I'm actually amazed this thread hasn't 404'd yet. Mods are onto these threads like flies to shit.

It's probably from the 500 reports.

You fuckers can't handle the truth. It's the one thing that seems to reeeeeeeeaaaaally get under /a/'s skin.

>>65132904

The depressed faggots in /adv and /r9k just want to whine and make up excuses on how they'll never achieve the advice we're giving them, step by step.

You guys are more fun, you fight back with vigor.

>>65132859
To try to make up for their insecurities by blogging about their "superiority" over anonymous neckbeards. We're actually proud (elitism) of what we do so they come here instead of some place like /r9k/ where they're all sad sacks of miserable.

>>65132867
>valuable
In what sense? I know it sounds all whiny, but we are just insignificant specks, and that's just on a global scale. We might as well not even exist, we're so insignificant, cosmically.

Don't confuse this for me hating humanity or not caring. I believe in humanism and the like.

>>65132867
>Your YEARS are valuable.
Cut the stupid platitudes. Everything you've ever done is over. All that matters is what you got out of it. Warm memories are poor consolation.

>>65129560

Jesus fuck OP. 3 years 7 months here as well.

Born Nov 1985?

Dear Extroverts,

We don't give a fuck about you. What you like, or how much fun you had doing it. Because we just had 10 times as much fun sitting at home quietly reading a book.

Love, Introverts.

>>65129560

Oldfags never point out they are one.
Nice try.

>>65132967
Most people on /a/ have actual legitimate interests and hobbies, even if we are lazy and have huge backlogs.

People on /soc/ have nothing but their own weak emotions, they have no interests or hobbies beyond endlessly posting on their shitty boardtrying to lure out "girls" on the internet to sate their pathetic egos.

There's nothing more pathetic than people who's only "interests" are other people.

>>65132821
Sanakarea or Fate/Zero, Close second being Space Bros.

As for being an Archmage and obtaining a grimoire...someday anon, someday.

>>65133066
Amen to this.
Get the fuck out normalfags.