It's time.

>:[X] Elf girl option. You know, for lonely faggots

:[X] Enjoy an afternoon of fishing with the Tomboy Alraune in the river full of Sahuagin

> [X] Sneak into a 'Monster Bar' and battle Oni's in a drinking contest

disregard cock hungry monster sluts, obtain entertainment

[x] Get loved tenderly by the new Refined Queen Bee exchange student

>>55883148
>implying the Onis are male.

[x] Fight your way through a Lizardwoman tournament to save the Mayor's Daughter dressed as a woman

not only will we see karen, but we'll also get a giant harem of lizardwomen. don't they have to get married to whoever beats them in combat?

>:[x] Pinch the Hikikomori Harpy's mopey face and call her 'Coo Coo Crazy'

Why are there other options.

Reported.
[x] Elf girl option. You know, for lonely faggots

[x] Pinch the Hikikomori Harpy's mopey face and call her 'Coo Coo Crazy'

that's a pretty vague option. let's see where you go with it

[x] Fight your way through a Lizardwoman tournament to save the Mayor's Daughter dressed as a woman

[X] Go sewer surfing with the Ditzy Dullahan and give a starving Brown Girl Mermaid a slice of marshmallow pizza

COWABUNGA

:[X] Go sewer surfing with the Ditzy Dullahan and give a starving Brown Girl Mermaid a slice of marshmallow pizza

>>55883306
Also, >Dat winamp

[x] Go sewer surfing with the Ditzy Dullahan and give a starving Brown Girl Mermaid a slice of marshmallow pizza

It's a fucking two-fer

[x] Elf girl option. You know, for lonely faggots

was wondering when we'd get a new thread, sweet

[x] Get loved tenderly by the new Refined Queen Bee exchange student

Never enough "Loved Tenderly" options

[X] Enjoy an afternoon of fishing with the Tomboy Alraune in the river full of Sahuagin

I love fishing.

[] Go on a date with your Punk Lamia childhood friend and her posse, then crash a Succubus performed concert

>>55882979
>[x] Go sewer surfing with the Ditzy Dullahan and give a starving Brown Girl Mermaid a slice of marshmallow pizza
Didn't you say the mermaid was important?

>[x] Go sewer surfing with the Ditzy Dullahan and give a starving Brown Girl Mermaid a slice of marshmallow pizza

I still haven't read the last thread, actually. I have the easymodo thread opened on my browser for days saying I'll get to it but I've been so busy recently.

Jessiebros assemble
[x] Go on a date with your Punk Lamia childhood friend and her posse, then crash a Succubus performed concert

[X] Accept an invitation to eat dinner with the Reverse Trap Yuki-Onna's parents.. For kicks
[X] Enjoy an afternoon of fishing with the Tomboy Alraune in the river full of Sahuagin

[x] Enjoy an afternoon of fishing with the Tomboy Alraune in the river full of Sahuagin

[X] All of the above, one after another, spread out over the next couple weeks.

5000 posts on easymodo here we come!

or failing that
[x] Elf girl option. You know, for lonely faggots
Because somebody has to save her from The Count.

:[X] Accept an invitation to eat dinner with the Reverse Trap Yuki-Onna's parents.. For kicks

>>55882979
:[x] Accept an invitation to eat dinner with the Reverse Trap Yuki-Onna's parents.. For kicks

Gimme more.

Anyone know what game that song's from?

[X] Go sewer surfing with the Ditzy Dullahan and give a starving Brown Girl Mermaid a slice of marshmallow pizza
Its a two in one combo how can i say no?

>You now realize that since we never fed her the mermaid was forced to move into the sewer to find rats to eat.

[x] Elf girl option. You know, for lonely faggots

[x] Elf girl option. You know, for lonely faggots

[x] Go sewer surfing with the Ditzy Dullahan and give a starving Brown Girl Mermaid a slice of marshmallow pizza

I'm fully expecting to run into Crocodile girls, who just want to be loved

Usually I tally within the first fifteen minutes, but I should probably wait longer.

>>55883472
Just bookmark this so you won't miss anything.

http://bizarreslimeart.tumblr.com/

:[X] Go sewer surfing with the Ditzy Dullahan and give a starving Brown Girl Mermaid a slice of marshmallow pizza

[x] Elf girl option. You know, for lonely faggots

[X] Elf girl option. You know, for lonely faggots

Its been here for ages. I really really want to see what bromont will do here.

[x] Go on a date with your Punk Lamia childhood friend and her posse, then crash a Succubus performed concert

[X] Accept an invitation to eat dinner with the Reverse Trap Yuki-Onna's parents.. For kicks

>>55883741
Because you don't want Rebecca to win?
That's fine... it's total cool that you keep including the option with no intention of ever doing it.
If I were a slightly different sort of person I'd start samefagging furiously now, but I won't.

>[] Elf girl option. You know, for lonely faggots

[] Go on a date with your Punk Lamia childhood friend and her posse, then crash a Succubus performed concert

:[] Get loved tenderly by the new Refined Queen Bee exchange student

I missed you, Bromont.

[X] Go on a date with your Punk Lamia childhood friend and her posse, then crash a Succubus performed concert.

:[x] Accept an invitation to eat dinner with the Reverse Trap Yuki-Onna's parents.. For kicks

[X] Fight your way through a Lizardwoman tournament to save the Mayor's Daughter dressed as a woman

Hold on...

>dressed as a woman

Does that mean the Mayor's daughter is dressed as woman, or we are?

:[] Get loved tenderly by the new Refined Queen Bee exchange student

Aww yea

[]Go on a date with your Punk Lamia childhood friend and her posse, then crash a Succubus performed concert

:[] Fight your way through a Lizardwoman tournament to save the Mayor's Daughter dressed as a woman

Its been forever since I have been able to catch one of these threads!

:[X] Go sewer surfing with the Ditzy Dullahan and give a starving Brown Girl Mermaid a slice of marshmallow pizza
Well it looks like another thread where rebecca doesnt win

[x] Go on a date with your Punk Lamia childhood friend and her posse, then crash a Succubus performed concert

[] Go sewer surfing with the Ditzy Dullahan and give a starving Brown Girl Mermaid a slice of marshmallow pizza

Sounds awesome.

:[X] Go sewer surfing with the Ditzy Dullahan and give a starving Brown Girl Mermaid a slice of marshmallow pizza

Sounds good to me.

[x] Go on a date with your Punk Lamia childhood friend and her posse, then crash a Succubus performed concert

The lack of a colon made me do it.. and Jessie is always relevant

[X] Enjoy an afternoon of fishing with the Tomboy Alraune in the river full of Sahuagin

Kari's a pretty cool guy.

>>55883741

[x] Elf girl option

Haha, no. [x] Go sewer surfing with the Ditzy Dullahan and give a starving Brown Girl Mermaid a slice of marshmallow pizza

Rebeccafags better stop samefagging

Voting ends at 23:00

>>55883884
Use your imagination.

:[] Accept an invitation to eat dinner with the Reverse Trap Yuki-Onna's parents.. For kicks

c'mon!!!!!!

X] Sneak into a 'Monster Bar' and battle Oni's in a drinking contest

ROUND ONE, FIGHT!

:[] Sneak into a 'Monster Bar' and battle Oni's in a drinking contest

[x] Accept an invitation to eat dinner with the Reverse Trap Yuki-Onna's parents.. For kicks

>Hey Yukiko, I liked you in Pretty Penguin Massacre
>Oh, you watched that?
>TWICE!

[x] Go sewer surfing with the Ditzy Dullahan and give a starving Brown Girl Mermaid a slice of marshmallow pizza

[x] Accept an invitation to eat dinner with the Reverse Trap Yuki-Onna's parents.. For kicks

>>55883838
If my count is correct, then at no point has the elf been winning. Though it is close at the moment, with Janet only leading knifey by 4 votes.

>Accept an invitation to eat dinner with the Reverse Trap Yuki-Onna's parents.. For kicks

every fucking time until you like it

THE FINAL DECISIVE THREE MINUTES....

[X] Pinch the Hikikomori Harpy's mopey face and call her 'Coo Coo Crazy'

:[] Elf girl option. You know, for lonely faggots
ComeON!!!!

[x] Elf girl option. You know, for lonely faggots

[] Sneak into a 'Monster Bar' and battle Oni's in a drinking contest

holycrap barely made it

>>55884121
IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

Oh, and I haven't voted...

[x] Dinner with Yuri's parents.

Already voted for Mermaid, but with one minute left...

>:[x] Elf girl option. You know, for lonely faggots

Maybe 8 votes/min?

[] Go on a date with your Punk Lamia childhood friend and her posse, then crash a Succubus performed concert

[x] Accept an invitation to eat dinner with the Reverse Trap Yuki-Onna's parents.. For kicks

Alright, time to count up them votes-

[x] Go sewer surfing with the Ditzy Dullahan and give a starving Brown Girl Mermaid a slice of marshmallow pizza

>>55884097
Yeah, you're right. Rebecca was in the lead for about 3 seconds right at the start.

I'm never going to get a Rebecca thread without samefagging, am I?

>>55884191
Maybe if there aren't any options I'm interested in next time.

[]Go on a date with your Punk Lamia childhood friend and her posse, then crash a Succubus performed concert.

:[X] Go sewer surfing with the Ditzy Dullahan and give a starving Brown Girl Mermaid a slice of marshmallow pizza
Made it just in time!

>>55884191
I vote for whatever option I feel Bromont would write best.

Rebecca......... Not feeling it.

>>55884191

Even if you samefag enough to get the "Elf girl option", it wouldn't mean the girl would have to be Rebecca.

It could be her sister, or her mother...

Or that one elf woman that was raped in that one hentai. You know, that one. With the rape. And the tentacles.

>>55884273
Rebecca doesn't have a sister.

That's her brother.

Whelp, looks like you're going surfing.

Poor Kelly, she lost by but a vote.
To think she was that close away from having her own thread, hahaha.

>>55884191
>>55884219
The real reason is that Bromont always writes the Rebecca option as a joke option.
The other girls all get awesome wording in their choices and Rebecca only gets
;[] Elf girl option, [insult to the voters here]

I know it's part of the running joke but it's still unfair...

>>55884329
Well, he could be more accurate

>Lose your money to that filthy knife-ear

>>55884311
;_;

>>55884311
One day... one day... but until then lets hear about wacky adventures in the sea

:[] Go sewer surfing with the Ditzy Dullahan and give a starving Brown Girl Mermaid a slice of marshmallow pizza

>>55884311

What if I delete my vote, would that mean Mermaid/Elf would be tied?

Then you could flip a coin .

>>55884329
Elves are a gateway monster girl of the worst kind. They’re a bland species, a clusterfuck of nature loving and ancestor worshipping that isn't very well done by any aspect, but which attempts to compensate for its weaknesses by adding in excessive outsider hating and LONELINESS. The normal anon can see this as the shit it is, and may enjoy it, hate it or be indifferent to it, but all the while recognizing that the species itself, regardless of their opinion, is plain bad.

However, these very aspects that try to smear over the shit of its core make it a breeding ground for aspie, unsociable underageb& faggots who engage in every kind of faggotry both online and in the real world. The copy pasted characters all trying their hardest to look lonely, misunderstood, stubborn, the whole not accepting humans and everything about Elves fuels their escapist fantasies, while the pity-party characteristics, pointy ears, and overall preachiness of the species make it fit just right with the mary-sueish drives of your average preteen and his sense of unwarranted self-importance towards the world. Exactly the kind of shit that makes little kiddies and underageb& retards eat this shit right the fuck up.

Elves are basically THE species to attract the most hated monster girl fanbase known to /a/, which is why, regardless of individual opinions, it is the responsibility of every anon to troll the fuck out of Rebecca and everyone who likes it, and ensure that no Elf threads ever encourage the newfriends to show their faces here.

>>55884311
Phew, she sure dodged a bullet there. Considering how horrible her short appearances tend to be for her, I don't even want to imagine the suffering she'd face if she got a whole thread.

>>55884449
Do try and keep this joke to a minimum, any more than one pasta of this per month is too much.

>>55884449
you mother fucker

You know the sad part is Rebecca really is my favorite girl.
She was since I first saw her in the introduction threads.
I'm not just doing this as part of the joke, I really do love Rebecca.

I'm not saying she shouldn't be trolled because her terrible luck is part of her charm, I just can't understand why people seem to hate her so much. They can't ALL be trolling as part of the joke can they?

>>55884311

YES

>>55884600
Please tell me this is someone stealing your name. No one is this big of a fag.

>>55884600
You didn't even try on this one.

You're not even Rebecca Fag.

>>55884600
HEY! Stop that.
Pia is the most popular girl, stop instigating the wrath of the entire fanbase like that you assbag.

>>55882979
Hmm... guys, can you navigate me to some page where i can see all entries in that bestiary? In english preferably.
I have seen only about thirty of them, and OPs one was not there, so i have not seen all of them.
Much appreciated.
Have succubus in return.

>>55884600
not cool.

>>55884600
>Tries to delete his post so no one else sees it

>>55884598
Who the fuck cares, I just want some monstergirls.

>>55884642
Yeah, it was posted a few seconds after Rebecca Fag posted. It was just a bad troll.

>not voting for dinner with the Reverse Trap Yuki-Onna's parents
Damn I wish I hadn't missed the vote...

>>55884936
I did.

>>55884936
I tried.

>>55884936

I dodged.

By the way, does Bromont still play League of Legends? Did he ever play at all?

>>55884997
>>55884972
>>55884936
It's okay Yurifags, at least you know you'll get your thread eventually.
The important thing is you didn't ruin the spirit of the thread by samefagging.

And so, you commanded your loyal android companion, of which she requires every byte of programming to keep herself from murdering you, to give you a piggyback ride around town.

"BWAHAHA, FASTER KNAVE, I WISH TO HIT THAT FLYING CAR WITH MY STICK!", you kick your heels into Hilda's sides while flaying around a branch.

"...", Hilda quietly accepts her command, while running countless simulations in her head of which ways she could 'accidentally' lose her balance or bust a joint and inflict the maximum amount of damage on your frail human body.

This has become the surefire way you choose to travel around town now, you're not sure how it got started, but you have to say, it beats taking a subway.

A few minutes ago, you received a call from that air-headed blonde headless girl, which sounds way more awesome than it actually is, asking if you wanted to join her for a surf session.

Being of sound heart and mind, you chugged a forty and told her to blow it out her ass. Then called back quickly and apologized, saying you'd be glad to meet her and surf.

...Despite not ever actually surfing before.

Oh well, you're a quick learner. If you can out ice skate a Yuki-Onna, surely you can out surf a dollar ham.

"Hilda, make a left up ahead"

"There aren't any lefts to make, you dolt"

"Then make one"

!

Hilda easily smashes through the fence up ahead.

So anyway, Janet, the Dullahan, told you to meet her at the spot the two of you first met. Which would be the industrial river. You wonder if that's where you're going to start off, and also wonder if you should've brought your own surf board despite not having one.

But mainly, you're wonder why Hilda's hair is giving you an erection. You'll never find that answer, but you'll never stop looking.

>>55885084

Yeah, fucking elf girl fans.

>>55884936

i vote for this every fucking time

>>55885097
>You'll never find that answer, but you'll never stop looking.
Too.. too deep.

>>55885097

>You wonder why Hilda's hair is giving you a boner

>open me in winamp
fuck yeah i love that theme

>>55885232
Who would wonder this?

What song is in the OP?

>>55885084
This is the eleventh thread since the basketball thread. Nothing is certain anymore. Even Rebecca had a fair chance at winning this time around. Of course, her winning would have still probably been a loss as far as she's concerned, but still.

Point is, can't really take any eventual progress for granted. Not until the VN, anyway.

>>55885658

YOU ARE RIDING ON THE BACK OF AN ATTRACTIVE ANDROID GIRL.

AS THE WIND BLOWS THROUGH YOUR HAIR AND THE SUN CREATES FABULOUS SPARKLES AROUND YOU, YOUR DICK QUICKLY HARDENS AS YOU WATCH THE ANDROID'S RIGID HAIR FLOW.

THE HAIR THE HAIR THE HAIR THE HAIR THE HAIR THE HAIR.

YOU WONDER WHY BONER.

You finally arrive at your destination, now apparently a few seconds early. Arriving early is for squares and premature ejaculators, had you known you'd arrive so, you probably wouldn't of had Hilda bulldoze across the picnic field to save time.

Well, atleast you have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to eat now.

A couple minutes go by... It looks like Jan's going to be a little late, or at the very worst, not showing up. Maybe you should call her- Hold on, how did she know your phone number in the first place-?

"HEAD'S UP!"

!

A severed human head resembling Janet's suddenly flies directly at you. You manage to catch it out of reflex, but still get mildly freaked out.

"NYUH! DAMN IT, JANET!", you yell as you raise her head up to yours and leer at her.

"Hahaha, you're like, too easy, dude", the emerald green eyed head snarks back at you.

You feel something poking you on the back shoulder. You turn around, and see Janet's headless body, twiddling it's fingers apologetically.

"YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID, BAD BODY, BAD!"

"Uh... Can you give my head back?", Jan speaks up, now being held inside your armpit.

"YOU CAN HAVE THIS BACK AFTER YOU'VE DONE YOUR HOMEWORK, YOUNG LADY", you explain while you taunt Janet's body with her missing head.

>>55885769
THIS HAIR THIS HAIR THIS HAIR THIS HAIR THIS HAIR THIS HAIR THIS HAIR THIS HAIR THIS HAIR

ROY MUST SMASH

>>55885760
Judging by his current rate of Progress if Bromont keeps these threads up until the VN comes out we'll have about 300 more to look forward to.
I like to hope eventually he'll run out of ideas for non-Rebecca options.

>missed voting
>kelly almost tied for surfing
It can't be helped.

>>55885831
If he runs out of ideas for non-Rebecca options he would just use the plot for the Rebecca threads with a different girl.

>>55885831

>run out of non-Rebecca options
>Bromont

...I hope that wasn't just a challenged you issued

>Well, atleast you have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to eat now.

>>55885772
God please tell me we atleast kiss Janet or something. Sex would be golden because i see janet as one of the few girls who would actually love Roy legit and not be after his sperm.

>>55885772
>That entire exchange.
Oh god, my loyalty...
Why is Janet so awesome?

>>55885956
She's already given him head.
...
God damn that was awful.

>>55885956
Yeah, I like her and would like this.

Or sex. I would also be happy with that.

>>55885993
yeah i'd just off myself now if i was you

>>55885772
>>55885976
Also
>Well, atleast you have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to eat now.
I'm entirely fine with that at this point. At least I got a Rebecca cameo.

In before Janet gets wipedout and drowns because she loses her head.

>>55886121
... How do you give CPR to a Dullahan?

>>55886121
More like in before lots of Rocket Power cameos.
Gonna be a lot of beefage.

Well Im going to play the Maji de Watashi ni Koi Shinasai! VN for a few hours before coming back.

You should try it bromont if you haven't already as you would like it

Calling it now, if we pick the Rebecca option she'll go Yangiri and kill us.

>>55886172
Hoses.

>"NYUH! DAMN IT, JANET!"

i love you

>>55886421
Realistically between Roy's luck bonus and RAZZLE DAZZLE and Rebecca's terrible luck penalties, she couldn't hit him with a fucking chain gun.
Though, I must admit Yangire Rebecca trying to kill Roy and failing miserably would be hilarious, but I'm going to maintain the hope that Bromont will give her a real thread if she wins.

>>55885993

what? when?

>>55886560
she should use the Razzle Dazzle Rootbeer cheat then

She could max her stats then

>>55886561
Its a pun.

>>55886561

>>55886561
>Janet throws head to Roy.
>Roy catches it.
>She has no given him (her) head.
It was a terrible pun, hence the admition to how awful it was immediately there after.

>this thread
also where did you get that pic of that Sahuagin OP?

>>55886561
What's it like being denser than a neutron star?

After shooting Janet's head back onto her body like a basketball, you command your android you go back to your apartment room and do the robot nonstop until you return.

You'll stop being an asshole to her as soon as she stops plotting to kill you in your sleep.

"So, you wanna go... Surfing?", you turn back to Janet, who upon further realization, is wearing a wet suit.

"Yeppers! Well actually, I just felt like going to the beach today"

"The beach? Then... Why are we standing on top of a river?"

"Well, silly, how else do you think we're gonna get there?", Janet explains as she readjusts her head onto her body, and hooks it in place with her heart shaped choker.

"By... Taking a cab or something?"

"Listen, I do this all the time, so don't worry, alright?"

Upon actually looking down, you notice Jan's wearing a white and blue wet suit. She adjusts a pair of purplish goggled onto her face as well, apparently in preparation for something.

"That just makes me worried"

"You do wanna surf though, right?"

"Sorta. I mean, I'd try it, but my heart's not really into it"

"Dude, your heart totally has absolutely three hundred percent have to be into it, or you won't really like what happens afterwards..."

"Why's that? What exactly are we gonna do here?"

"Well, ya'see, around THIS time there's a massive wave of liquid that comes rushing through below you, and it stays that way until it reaches the beach!", Janet explains while stretching her body.

"I noticed you said 'liquid' instead of 'water'"

"Well... I found out that the wave is actually made of recycled sewage-"

"And we're using that to SURF!?"

"It's not like it's SEWAGE sewage, it's clean and stuff"

"The point, your head, ZIPPO", you sweep your right hand over your left, to help explain.

"Chyah... I thought, you having a body suit and the fact that you went swimmin' here before and all... You wouldn't mind as much"

"That why you asked me to come along?"

"Like no~ I asked you to come along because you're a pretty cool dude", she says as if she's flirting with you.

"I see... I AM a pretty cool dude, so your reasons are sound"

"You totally don't have to if you don't want to, I'll understand"

"Oh no, I'm still going to do this. I just usually measure the level of alcohol in my system beforehand for hand-eye coordination purposes"

>>55886658
kenkou cross made it last week at most.
it got translated pretty fast

>>55886729
>>55886705
>Arg, thar be a shit-storm a brewan.jpg
Literally in this case.

>>55886736
>>55886736
sweet a new monster to to avoid. I can't date Very jealous types.

>>55886629

oh i got that now its just that i barely found the thread and i read that before bromonts post

>>55887011

feel pretty stupid now though, cant believe i shamed myself in a bromont thread

>>55887188
It happens to the best of us.

A thought crosses through your mind once more.

"Uh... I don't have a surf board there, Sleepy Hollow"

Janet looks to you with a teasing face, a slight sparkle dings in her eye. A most worrisome ding, one might say.

"No problemo, I brought along a spare board just for you~"

The Dollar Ham walks over to the side of the walkway, and picks up a dazzling surfboard next to her surfing board that inexplicably matches her swimsuit's color palette.

"This here is the 'Crazed Diamond', I sell them at my Dad's gun shop!"

"Really? How swell"

Janet knocks her knuckles against the back of the board, which somehow seems to trigger it.

!

The rims light up, signalling the board is at full working capacity.

"THE newest line in surfing technology, the 'Crazed Diamond' is a surfing board that emits a wave of vibration behind the surfer, allowing for an everlasting momentum that could, like totally, let them surf for as long as they wanted! Provided there's water behind them, and all!", Janet showcases the board's glowing orange rim with glee.

"Well, that's... Kinda cool"

"My surf board, the 'Platinum Star', functions the same way. The funnest part? We can speed up! We can make the wave behind us pick up speed the longer you stay on!"

"That... Sounds like it could be dangerous"

"Think of it like an arcade game! Only you know, you wipe out in this game, you might break something you don't want broken... Not like you'd want anything broken, of course. Hahaha", she rubs the back of her messy blonde hair.

"Well, I don't know how to surf. You think I'll be fine?"

"...Probably not"

"Thank you, your words of encouragement make my heart smile"

I haven't read any of these threads but I will go check out the archives now to catch up.

Quick question though, have we actually fucked anyone?

>>55887532
Why can't I hold all this JoJo?

>mfw when I missed voting.

>>55887572
Yes we have. We fucked that Jessie real good.

>>55887572
Nyohoho. Just wait for it.

>>55887532
>"Uh... I don't have a surf board there, Sleepy Hollow"
iv'e been waiting for this moment

>>55887572
Yes. Lamina and arachne. And fairy blowjob if that counts. And a butterfly girl and zombie girl, but those don't count.

>>55887707
Are they archived anywhere?
I wish to read them

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD SOOOOOOOOOOOOO RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!! XXXXXXXXXXXDDDDDDDDDD
OMG NEWFAG HE DUSNT LIEK MY /B/ STYLE HUMOR OMG NEWFAG

>>55887745
http://bizarreslimeart.tumblr.com/

>>55887765
... actually you're a newfag for not just hiding the thread and moving on.

>>55887707
Whoah, zombie girl? And it was bad end?
Must have missed that one.

>>55887847
its in the "Get drunk and fight zombies with the tsundere dark elf" thread

>>55887892
Dark Priest.

>>55887940
yeah that.

>>55887892
Oh fuck yeah. Wow okay, I'm a little out of it today.

>>55887532
>
"THE newest line in surfing technology, the 'Crazed Diamond' is a surfing board that emits a wave of vibration behind the surfer, allowing for an everlasting momentum that could, like totally, let them surf for as long as they wanted! Provided there's water behind them, and all!", Janet showcases the board's glowing orange rim with glee.

Shine on you crazy diamond.

"So when's the wave due, Surfer Steve?", you nudge Janet in the shoulder while adjusting your eyepatch and backwards cap.

"WAVE DUE SOON, FELLOW SURFER!", the ditzy girl picks up her surf board and flicks her purple goggles.

"Really? When-"

"NOW!"

A rush of green liquid comes pouring around the corner of the city river, signalling the amount of shell that needs to be kicked.

!

Janet grabs you hand and pulls you excitingly to the edge of the bridge that overpasses the artificial river.

...Normally, you don't really care if chick holds your hand, but right now it's really off putting for some reason-

"ROY! JUMP!", Janet yells as she hops off the side of the bridge with her board in hand.

"FREEBIIIIIIIIRD!", you roar as you jump off after Janet.

Luckily, you've thought ahead. Those laser skate shoes you always wear also has a magnet-like feature that allows you to stick to metallic surfaces. It helped you win your skating battle with Yuri, whom you wish could see you right now.

!

You place the board on your feet in mid-air, and collide into the sewer wave. The board makes a weird vibrating sound the second you make it, as if it's locking itself in place.

"HAHA, I MADE IT!"

...

You begin to lose your balance, the board tipping with you.

"OH FUCK!"

!

But Janet's casually surfing next to you, keeping a magnificent display of balance on her own board. She manages to push you back up straight, or rather shove you.

A second soon, and you dread to think just what you'd be drinking.

"HEY THANKS, I APOLOGIZE FOR ASKING YOU TO GIVE ME HEAD EARLIER"

"BUT I DID GIVE YOU MY HEAD!", Janet yells back, with a confused face.

>>55888226

>"BUT I DID GIVE YOU MY HEAD!", Janet yells back, with a confused face.
>confused face

that feel

>"Like no~ I asked you to come along because you're a pretty cool dude", she says as if she's flirting with you.
>...Normally, you don't really care if chick holds your hand, but right now it's really off putting for some reason-

Chyeah! Just, like, shag already dudes.

>>55888226

>"WAVE DUE SOON, FELLOW SURFER!", the ditzy girl picks up her surf board and flicks her purple goggles.

>"Really? When-"

>"NOW!"

GET OUT OF HERE STALKER!

I honestly have no idea where this is going. And no intention to sleep. Its like I'm 18 all over again.

>>55888690
Think about it. Roy and Janet are sewer surfing.

We're gonna meat some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtlegirls.

Fuck I forgot, how does Janet look like again? Specifically the hair. Gotta be messy and short with how much its thrown around.

>>55888587
Are you _insane_? Folks selected the _ambiguously_ 'let's fuck her' option in Selphie's second thread, and we got arachne-raped as a result. This is Janet's second co-star thread, with no solos to her name; if Roy tries to stick it in tonight, Janet won't be the only one with a detachable head before the end of this thread. Roy will find out what a male praying mantis feels like, while Janet becomes befuddled over why he got so quiet all of a sudden, especially right after all that loud yelling and screaming he was doing...

There are times to think with your dick. This is not one of them. Share wacky adventures, overcome whatever psychological issue of hers that she wants to brood over with us, and _then_ find out how well a beheaded girl can deepthroat.

>>55888848
My body is ready

>>55889001
Yandere Janet. All of my boners

>>55889001
I'm with this guy.

Janet is for chilling with, not fucking. Putting Roy's penis in any monstergirl who will let him is not a wise plan.

The wind shoots through your hair, water splashing everywhere as you race down the city's river way. Though measured in miles, at this speed, you and Janet could surf your way there in a matter of minutes.

A rush of adrenaline starts surging through your body, a certain feeling of euphoria slowly follows. It's hard to describe, but imagine you're tipping back in your chair, and you lose control and tip back too far knowing you're going to fall, but at the last moment, you manage to stop yourself.

A certain feeling of vertigo, some might say.

The two of you shoot into a tunnel-way, the ceiling's rigged with yellow tinted neon lights that light up the darkness, reflecting itself on the water's surface and illuminating the way.

The water's surface changes from a greenish color into a more copper brown color. It doesn't look dirty, but rather, it's matching the artificial flooring built underneath.

The dripping and loose pipes along the way send an echoing sound that fills the tunnel with the sound of making you want to pee.

But, the mopey surroundings really kills your buzz..

?

Janet's leaning onto her neon blue rimmed surfing board in an odd position, as if she's adjusting something?

!

Suddenly, 'Sewer Surfin' begins to echo throughout the tunnel-way. The sound's originating from Janet's surfing board in full surround sound quality.

"YOU DIDN'T TELL ME OUR SURFBOARDS CAN DO THAT!"

"Yours can't, MINE can-", Janet races over to your left, "By the way, if you wreck my 'Crazed Diamond', I'm going to make you pay for it!"

"EH?"

"So, don't crash, alright?", Janet pats you on the back.

You feel yourself go a little tipsy, but step right back up. She's trying to help motivate you, really. But it still makes you nervous.

Approaching you is a fork in the tunnel system.

"WHICH WAY IS THE RIGHT WAY!?"

"They both go to the beach, one's just longer than the other! I'm going down that one!", Janet points to the tunnel on the left.

...Now, you COULD follow Janet, but without her around, you're free to hog up as much room to yourself. Which could be safer.

[] Follow the wet-suit wearing Dullahan down the longer tunnel
[] Take the shortcut tunnel, with the funky lighting and show the ladies by the way you surf, you're a woman's man, head full of scurf

>[X] Follow the wet-suit wearing Dullahan down the longer tunnel
IF we fuck up, it's best to have someone nearby to pick us back up.

>>55888872

[] Take the shortcut tunnel, with the funky lighting and show the ladies by the way you surf, you're a woman's man, head full of scurf

Roy is the scurfiest mother fucker we know

Bromont, for this decision, I must know.

How bodacious of a body does she have?

[X] Follow the wet-suit wearing Dullahan down the longer tunnel
You never know what mite happen in the longer tunnel

[x] Follow the wet-suit wearing Dullahan down the longer tunnel

More character development.

[x] Follow the wet-suit wearing Dullahan down the longer tunnel

better safe than running into mutants or crazy sewer monstergirls that will rape us

[x] Follow the wet-suit wearing Dullahan down the longer tunnel

>>55889261
>[X] Follow the wet-suit wearing Dullahan down the longer tunnel
Despite possessing all kinds of RAZZLE and DAZZLE, sewage is effected by neither.

Let's do this the safe way.

[X] Take the shortcut tunnel, with the funky lighting and show the ladies by the way you surf, you're a woman's man, head full of scurf

[] Follow the wet-suit wearing Dullahan down the longer tunnel

You can watch her ass the entire time, plus i'm like 95% sure the other way leads to bad end.

>>55889402
This.

[x] Follow the wet-suit wearing Dullahan down the longer tunnel

>>55889238
>Suddenly, 'Sewer Surfin' begins to echo throughout the tunnel-way.
FINALLY. Now we can get started.

[X]Follow Janet

[X] Follow the wet-suit wearing Dullahan down the longer tunnel

[x] Take the shortcut tunnel, with the funky lighting and show the ladies by the way you surf, you're a woman's man, head full of scurf

>bromont thread
>safe route
>mfw

[] Take the shortcut tunnel, with the funky lighting and show the ladies by the way you surf, you're a woman's man, head full of scurf

lets wreck that board

>[X] Follow Janet.

[X] Follow the wet-suit wearing Dullahan down the longer tunnel

Let's get that character development goin'

>>55889334

i love the way she looks

[this] Follow the wet-suit wearing Dullahan down the longer tunnel

You never know, she may need help if her top comes off.

>>55889352
Well, my good sir. She, the woman in question, upon further recollection, I would without hesitation, that it is of my estranged opinion, after much deliberation, would say that her body is quite... Radical.

>>55889670
Donny, shut up.

You read this in Raph's voice.

>>55889648
>dullahan
>top comes off

[x] Take the shortcut tunnel, with the funky lighting and show the ladies by the way you surf, you're a woman's man, head full of scurf

[X] Take the shortcut tunnel, with the funky lighting and show the ladies by the way you surf, you're a woman's man, head full of scurf

>>55889334
That reminds me, WHERE THE HELL IS PIA?!

For curiosity's sake, what Ninja turtle would you always play? Me, Don.

[X] Follow the wet-suit wearing Dullahan down the longer tunnel

Looks like... Following Janet won?

>>55889772
Leo. I'm a fag like that.

[X] Follow the wet-suit wearing Dullahan down the longer tunnel

>>55889764
She died in the last thread.

>>55889772
Every anon would pick Don. Just as every anon would pick the blue Power Ranger.

>[X] Follow the wet-suit wearing Dullahan down the longer tunnel

[x] Follow the wet-suit wearing Dullahan down the longer tunnel

I like >>55889325's reasoning, especially since she already saved Roy from crashing and bur- er, slashing, earlier. Whereas if we pick the other route, it might be fine, but then Roy won't have an audience for any good stuff that he manages to pull off.

Even if picking the short tunnel potentially gives us more time at the beach to razzle dazzle mermaids and hit on squid girls and such, I don't really see any advantage to it.

>>55889706
That pun clearly went over your head.

>>55889865
WHAT?!

>>55889903
Hey man, I identified with the Blue Ranger because of my glasses. It couldn't be helped.

>>55889865
I thought I actually missed that for a second there

>>55889764
I wonder how FUCKED Rhonda is.

>long ago in a distant land, you were flung into the future

>Each day is a challenge not to get yourself raped


[X] Enjoy an afternoon of fishing with the Tomboy Alraune in the river full of Sahuagin

Seems like a pleasant day.

>>55890212
I think you're a little late.

Yeap

> [X] Go on a date with your Punk Lamia childhood friend and her posse, then crash a Succubus performed concert

>>55890403
Ever so slightly late. Just by a few minutes.

So could a robot girl count as a monster girl? We have our robomaido in a monster girl universe.

>>55890509
here.

Would this work?

>[X] Follow the wet-suit wearing Dullahan down the longer tunnel

Follow her! I believe she knows the safe way!

>>55890509
So you want to have sex with a femal Marvin the robot who would make depressing comments about the futility of sexing a hunk of plastic and metal and is plotting to harm/kill you as you put your dangly bits in places they don't belong?

>Jessie option doesn't win

damn

>>55890632
Well if you put it that way, it's actually kind of hot.

>>55890654
It usually doesn't. But when it does, oh yes, it wins.

[x] Take the shortcut tunnel, with the funky lighting and show the ladies by the way you surf, you're a woman's man, head full of scurf

I surf in real life so i wont fall, why would i make this an option if i didn't think it was safe?

>>55890632
Your logic only makes my penis harder.

>long ago in a distant land, you were flung into the future
>I think you're a little late.

That's like your opinion

"I'M STAYING ON YOUR ASS!"

"ALRIGHT, BRACE YOURSELF! I'M TAKING THE HARDER ROUTE!", Janet yells back behind you, the pink trail of vapor leaking out of her neckline.

"OH SWEET, DOES THAT MEAN WE GET THE BEST ENDING?"

"THE WHAT, NOW?"

"NEVERMIND! IT'S NOTHING!"

The two of you veer to the left, taking the tunnel with the white walls with green stripes. You wonder how far you've gone inside? Considering this is the first time you've ever been in the Madness tunnel system, you're not quite sure.

The bright glowing lights on your surfboards become a blur as the two of you race down the empty industrial tunnel on nothing but the water behind you.

"WOOOOO!", you yell as you shred across the 'water'.

"YEEEAAAAHHH!", Jan yells out, stereotypically,

Though the momentum is supposed to last... The tunnel-way begins to narrow. The smaller the supply of water, the less frequency and less amount of momentum you can garner.

You take a quick look behind you. It's nothing but total darkness. You've kinda lost track of time with all the excitement, haven't a clue how far in you are. It's a good thing the system is so linear or you'd be a little worried of getting lost.

?

The Dullahan shuts off her music system for some reason or another.

Janet seems to be focusing on the action at hand, remaining silent as if she's trying really hard on concentrating. She didn't seem so tense before?

Whatever the case, the two of you are still going a radically fast pace throughout the empty tunnel system. The calming drips of the pipes and echoing water movement fill the atmosphere with a sense of isolation.

You forget for a moment that Janet is there, imagining this as if you decided to go at this route alone. It'd make your heart leap out with a sense of unnerving quietness.

It's already starting to make you feel a little detached-

[X] Follow the wet-suit wearing Dullahan down the longer tunnel

I honestly didn't think much of Janet until Tottori's art... all of my penises!

Janet pokes you on the shoulder, as if to shake you back to reality. She's staring at you point blank with a half-tilted head.

"You all right, Roy? Going kinda quiet there", Janet asks in a worried tone.

"I'm fine, really. Just a little... Iunno, lost I guess"

"Lost, huh?"

"Yeah, 'lost' is how I'd describe it. Even though it's such a straight path"

"No no, I know what you mean! I'm totally lost too"

"Ah- What?"

"Well, I've never actually gone down this way before"

"Then why'd you choose it?"

"Well, if you don't try new things, life starts to become sooooo bland and stuff"

"Stagnate, you mean"

"Huh? Well, I don't know what that word means"

!

You can feel the bottom of your board brush against the tunnel's bottom surface. You're starting to slow down...

Oop, browser reset.

>>55890887
AWW SHIT

>>55890887
uh oh

[X] RAZZLE DAZZLE THE SEWER SYSTEM

>>55890887
God dammit, Janet.

>>55890859

>It's already starting to make you feel a little detached-

"That pun was terrible."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves now."

DOHOHOHOHO

Oh man, fuck this thread, I'm seriously claustrophobic and I'm already kind of panicking for Roy.

Also, calling it now, we'll meet a tribe of slimes made of sewage.

Well at least Janet won't meet her demise alone.

Slimes are my favorite......but i never considered sewer slime.

Can i expect fapping materiel here?

>>55891102
I'm not sure if I'm okay with that.

I mean, slimes are cool, but slimes that reek of garbage and human waste... not so cool.

Whatever, there is surely a way out of this that doesn't involve death or ruining the stan- surfboards.

Jumping into a Bromont thread 4 hours late.

>>55884169
>>55884154
>>55884146
>>55884002
>>55883856
>>55883808
>>55883801
>>55883715
>>55883706
>>55883557
>>55883265
>>55883054
These people still believe that a Kelly thread would be anything more than an extended cut digitally-remastered version of the normal PBJ-stealing, throat-punching, face-puking antics in glorious 1080p with director's commentary.

pic related, the ice cream is the imaginary love story you autistic fags have fixated on but shall never, ever have.

Suddenly a giant chocobo made of snow pops up in front of you. What the fuck, you didn't even SEE that thing.

Janet passes you and you fail to beat your previous best time on this minigame.

THE END

Rather quiet in here.

You and your esteemed surfer colleague come to a screeching halt in the middle of the tunnel-way. It's not dry concrete, the water's still up to your shins. If it were a little higher, perhaps the two of you could continue onwards on your boards.

But it looks like it only get's narrower and dryer the further it goes down.

"...This IS supposed to lead out into the beach, right?"

"Chyeah, but I've got a map, so don't worry so much. Such a nervous wreck~"

Janet picks up her board and walks over the tunnel's walkway on the side and climbs up a nearby ladder. She sits down on the walkway's rim, and digs out a map system located on her board as well and flicks the switch on.

A 3D lay-out of the tunnel system projects itself in front of you, a little dot indicates just where you are... And you're not even half way out. You're approximately 28 miles inside the tunnel system. You COULD turn back now and walk/skate the rest of the way back to the entrance, but that'd take the fun out of it.

"Hey, Roy... Take a look at this!", Janet points to a detour.

Hmm... A little ways down the tunnel, to the right, there's a water drainage corridor that leads into the water recycling area. Cut across that, and you'll half the travel. Plus, the water system appears to pick right back up there, so you'll grab yourself another handy momentum.

It's twelve something, if everything goes to schedule, you should make it to the beach-line before two.

"Seems like a good way to go, right?", Janet asks as she slips the map system back onto her board.

"Beats taking the scenic route"

You climb up to Janet with your board in arm and the two of you begin your trek down the back-tunnels.

>>55891623
I'm watching anime while I wait for Bromont to post.

I wish IM@S and Penguindrum subs were out.

Bromont thread? Whelp it's not like I was gonna sleep tonight anyway.

Positng in Ron Paul threads while waiting

>>55891662
>Suddenly quiet 2 hour walk in the dark with a girl who's known to have feelings for you.
Fuck the beach, this is more fun.

Alcohol and animu while waiting for bromont to post. I'm ok with this.

The two of you walk down the tunnel's walkway, though dimly lit, the lights about you begin to turn noticeably red. Red's such a poor choice in light tint...

Janet's purple goggles seem to be glowing in the dark, which is pretty cool, all things considered.

But the atmosphere grows silent, nothing but the sound of water trickling and the waterfall of blood rushing inside your head can be heard.

"...Kinda quiet down here, huh?"

"You can say that again, Roy", the Dullahan agrees while adjusting her goggles.

"How about you turn on your sound board?"

"Only works when we're surfing... Kinda saving whatever power's left on this thing for the map. Ya'know, in case we wanna go back"

"That kinda sucks"

"Beats shelling out the cash for batteries"

You make idle conversation with Jan, the echoing silence is annoying you. Despite Janet's more delicate and jewelry wearing appearance, she's pretty fit for a girl in her... Ah... Deposition. Those blonde ditzy types always seem to be run out of steam faster than they can shovel it. Guess being a Dollar Ham helps with that as well.

"Say, Jan?"

"Yo?"

"What's it like being a Dullahan?"

"What'daya mean?"

"I mean, what's it feel like to take off your head and put it back on?"

"Feels like taking off your head and putting it back on"