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!REE/1SM5NY 09/19/11(Mon)18:07 No.54888076>>54887570
>>54887130
The third brief is indeed excessive and clumsy, thanks for pointing that out for me.
There
are quite a few problems in the writing due to my negligence, much of
which I only noticed when the video was released and out of my hands to
tunnel vision over, and after reading the comments posted here, and in
/jp/, bless their souls.
Also, there is some very clunky and stiff
writing due to how the writing process went for this tech demo of sorts,
as Alavaria wrote the larger portion of the text shown, while I was
sent in to add a bunch of lines here and there, including the entire
scene at the very end, which I pretty much rewrote entirely, hence why
it was possibly a bit less clunky than the rest of the demo, even though
I still think it was pretty sketchy.
>>54887168
Personally,
I'll take any comments or opinions I can get, the harsher the better.
These faggots I work with never yell at me so I slack off a lot.
>>54887570
>>54887571
>>54887596
>>54887741
Even
though I will sound traitorous, because I am, I also found the MC to be
pretty stiff and unrelatable when I first started editing, especially
with things like that 'star drowned' line and the use of 'party' in the
other, among other things.
As editor of sorts, I apologize for
the quality of the writing presented, but I will try my best to work
with the main writer, who has been busy with doctorate studies, and hope
you'll keep the comments up so I don't slack off. |
