"Don't cry, fatty." said the angel, or rather, said Yoshinoya-sensei who was currently cosplaying as an angel. "Like a bear about to enter hibernation, you have eaten everything you can get your chubby mits on in preparation for the coming winter, where you will consume your own massive grith over the course of-"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Hiro sobbed hysterically and swatted Yoshinoya out of the sky.

Yoshinoya plummeted down towards earth, bursting into a fireball upon re-entry.

"Don't cry, Hiro." said Sae. "You'll never be too big to be my friend."

"You don't look all that much bigger to me," said Yuno, watching as Hiro's left bun was pulled into a black hole.

"Yoshinoya-sensei smells like fried chicken." said Miyako.

"G-Girls..." Hiro sobbed. "You're the best friends I could ever have!"

Hiro bent down to give them all a hug and crushed the entire eastern hemisphere, killing everyone.

The End.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6967933/1/Hidamari_Sketch_x_Dreamland

.... continue.

What a cop-out.

Well, that was amazing.

Yuno was lying in bed, sleeping peacefully, when a scuttling noise woke her up. Her eyes cracked open sleepily. There was a large dark spot on the ceiling. Yuno reached over and switched on the lamp, then screamed.

A giant hairy spider was clinging to the ceiling above Yuno's bed. It lowered itself down on a piece of thread, swinging heavily over Yuno who had pulled her covers up to her nose and was shaking like a chihuahua on crack.

It had Miyako's face.

"Wh-Wh-Why do you look like Miya-chan?" Yuno stammered through chattering teeth.

"Because I ate Miya-chan." said the spider.

"WHAT? NOOOOOOOOO!" Yuno cried.

"But it's okay," said the spider. "I liked Miya-chan. It's okay to eat someone if you like them."

"N-No it's not," said Yuno.

"Yes it is."

Defeated by the spider's logic, Yuno fell silent.

"And I like you, too." continued the spider. It lowered itself a little more until it was swaying gently just above Yuno's lap.

"S-Spider-chan..." Yuno stammered, blushing.

Just then the bedroom door banged open. Sae stood in the doorway, clutching the end of a rolled-up futon.

"Stop right there, criminal scum!" Sae shouted, pointing an accusing finger at the spider. "You didn't eat Miyako, you're just wearing her face!"

Sae unfurled the futon and Miyako rolled out onto the floor.

Miyako sat up dizzily, holding her head. She had no face.

Yuno and the spider stared at her for a moment, then stared back at each other. The Miya-spider's face contorted into a hideous expression. It hissed and bared its sharp fangs at Yuno, swiping at her awkwardly with its front two legs.

"Oh no, what do we do?" cried Yuno.

Sae whipped out a shotgun. "Duck!"

>>49070157

Yuno flopped backwards onto the bed and pulled the blanket over her face. Miyako plugged her ears.

BANG!

The spider plopped down onto Yuno's lap and, amidst Yuno's hysterical screams of terror, scuttled off across the floor and up the wall where it lodged itself in a corner above the window. Bunching all its legs in tightly, it hissed down at them with Miyako's face.

Sae cocked her shotgun and was about to fire again when Miyako held a little piece of paper up in front of her.

Not in the face.

"Tch," said Sae. "We need to turn it around so I can shoot it. Yuno, it likes you, right? Go stand under it and be bait."

"What?"

"Do it for Miyako!"

Miyako gave her two thumbs up.

"O-Okay..." Yuno slid off the bed and moved to stand with her back towards the window, trembling from head to toe.

"That's good," said Sae.

The spider was watching Yuno intently with Miyako's hungry eyes, but didn't move.

"You need to appear more enticing," said Sae. "Try hiking your dress up a bit."

"Wh-What?"

"Come on! For Miyako?"

Miyako gave her two thumbs up and nodded.

Trembling, her eyes shut, Yuno gripped the bottom of her dress and slowly lifted it several inches.

Just then, Hiro passed by the doorway and, seeing what was going on inside, came rushing in. "Oh my Gosh!" she cried. "Yuno has such skinny thighs!"

Drooling hungrily, the spider couldn't ignore its urges any longer and lunged at Yuno.

"RUN, YUNO! RUN!" shouted Sae and Hiro simultaneously.

Yuno screamed and ran towards the door with her eyes screwed shut, her hands over her head. "Not my face! Not my face!"

When the spider skittered past Sae, she shot it in the butt and it exploded.

Miyako's face floated gently to the floor like a flower petal. It was easily re-attached with some paste and staples.

The End.

>"Yes it is."
>Defeated by the spider's logic, Yuno fell silent.
Where can I learn such arguments?

This is all I have. Feel free to give me more batshit insane ideas to write about.

>>49070566

It's certainly different, I'll give you that.

The second story is obviously about Yuno's repressed sexuality and her lust for Miyako (the Miyako-spider trying to "eat" Yuno and Yuno enticing the spider with her body). It's almost as DEEP as Eva.