Oh my god...

GAMBARE, KEN-SAMA!

daily dose thread?

Why is /a/ so shit tonight?

old

How old is this pasta anyway?

Gomenasai to you too ^__________^

Hé les crétin,

Mon nom est Jean-Pierre, et je déteste chachun de vous. Vous etes tous gros, retardé, des sans-vies qui dépensent, chaque seconde de leur jour á regarder les images d´ane stupides. Vous etes tous mauvais dans le monde. Honnetement, n´importe qui d´entre vous n´a jamais eu de gonzesse? Je veus dire, je pense que c´est marrant de se moquer des gens á cause de votre propres insécurité, mais vous prenez tout á un tout nouveau niveau entier. Ceci est mëme pire que se masturber sur des images sur facebook.

Ne soyez pas étranger: sortez moi votre meilleur coup. Je suis á peu prés parfait. J´etais le capitaine de l´equipe de football, et le démarreur de mon équipe de basketball. Quels sports jouez-vous á part "se masturber sur des dessin de japonaise nue"? Je vais etre direct, et j´ai de bonne baguette francaise (J´en mange tout les jours; putain c´est trop cash). Vous etes tous des crétin qui devraient se suicider. Merci d´avoir écouter.

PD: Moi et ma baguette

Pic related.

this is exactly how i picture this guy in the picture to speak

>>26464777
>I speak Japanese fluently, both Kanji and the Osaka dialect,

How does one speak Kanji?

>I train with my Katana every day, this superior weapon CAN CUT CLEAN THROUGH STEEL

oh u

HEY KISAMAS,

WATASHI NO NAMAE WA ANANIMASU OFFU KAKUSU TO WATASHI WA KIRAI EVERY SINGLE ONE OF ANATA. ALL OF ANATA ARE FAT, BAKA BAKA NO-LIFES WHO SPEND EVERY SECOND OF MAINICHI MITEIRUING AT BAKA PICTURES. ANATA WA SUBETE THAT IS WARUI IN THE SEKAI. HONTO NI, HAVE ANY OF ANATA EVER GOTTEN ANY NEKO? I MEAN, WATASHI GUESS IT’S TANOSHI MAKING FUN OF HITOS BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN UNKAWAIINESS, BUT MINNA TAKE IT TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL. KORE WA WORSE THAN ONANI-ING TO PICTURES ON HESUBUUKU.

SHIRANAI HITO JA NAI DESHO? JUST HIT WATASHI AND BE SURE TO GANBARIMASU. WATASHI WA PRETTY MUCH PAAFEKUTO. WATASHI WAS AMERIKAN FUTBORU NO CAPTAIN, TO WATASHI WAS HAJIMASHTATER ON WATASHI NO BASUKETOBOORU TEAM. DONNA SUPOTSU DO ANATA ASANBOU, OTHER THAN “ONANI TO NAKED DRAWN NIPPONJIN”? WATASHI MO GET HOMO JA NAI A’S, TO WATASHI HAS A BANGING KAWAII SHOJO (KANOJO WA BLOWJOB WO SHIMASHITA; KUSO WA HONTO NI CASH.) ANATA WA ALL KISAMAS DARE SHOULD JUST KOROSU THEMSELVES. DOMO ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU FOR LISTENING.

(SONO PIC WA RELATED DESU, ARE WA WATASHI TO WATASHI NO ONNA)

Episode 10 is the best episode of K-on in the world in a lot of different ways. One of my favorite things it does for me is it takes care of me. It takes care of me by making me smile, giving me a thing to laugh at, and it stays home with me when I'm sick to make me feel better. Another thing it does for me when I'm sick is takes me to the doctor, goes and get me medicine, and when I had double pneumonia, it even stayed at the hospital for 3 days and 3 nights with me. Episode 10 made me feel better at the hospital, when I got shot in my vein. It showed me girls holding hands through all the pain. It shows me fun places like Tsumugi's summer home. At her house we normally play fireworks. We lose most of the time. Another thing we do at Tsumugi's house is go to the beach. Episode 10 is almost always in water because it can make me giggle. Sometimes it shows me cooking on the porch at her house because I smile at it. Episode 10 taught me about guitar. One thing it taught me about guitar was how to tune a guitar. I was in my basement and I was wearing pink Tinkerbell tennis shoes with see through laces. I'm almost sure it was the first time I ever tuned a guitar! Another thing episode 10 taught me was how to get into the bath. I will need this my whole life and I learned some of it in Japan. Episode 10 helps me through the toughest times. It did when I was bored because I had nothing to do. It talked to me through it all. Another way it helped me was when I gave up cottage cheese for lent and it ate it, which made me stronger inside. Jesus gave his life for our sins so episode 10 showed me that I could give up one thing. Episode 10 shows me fun stuff. It showed me Mio in a bathing suit for my third grade Halloween party. It came up with the games. We saw Mio get scared, get the candycorn in the bucket, and we saw Azusa without clothes. I'm lucky it was a fast torrent. Episode 10 is amazing and I just don't thank it enough for everything it does.

beating

>>26464777
Weeboofag. You don't introduce yourself with "sama".

>I'm a 27 year old American Otaku
>I am moving to Tokyo to attend a prestigious High School

>I train with my Katana every day, this superior weapon CAN CUT CLEAN THROUGH STEEL

Hey worthless children,

My name is Kinzo, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are men that have no dignity, women that try to be men, and no-lifes who spend every second of their day thinking of ways to steal all my money when I die. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever run a successful business? I mean, I guess it's fun running a mediocre company straight into the ground, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than claiming Krauss is a competent businessman.

Don't be a 19th person. Just hit me with your best stake. I'm pretty much perfect. I've studied magic for years on end, and my skills as a magician can even best a witch. What other hobbies do you have, other than argue who will get more of my inheritance? Unlike you, money throws itself at me, and I have an extremely powerful witch (She just gave me more gold; Shit was SO hidden). You are all failures who should just figure out the epitaph. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my witch.

>>26464840

>Why is /a/ so shit tonight?

It's only 4:38 PM, buddy.

My name is Yamato “Matt” Ishida, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at a scaled-down version of the Digital World. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever have a Digimon that can kill a Dark Master in one-hit? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on Aerisdies.


Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was in an extremely popular rock band, and my Digimon can Digivolve to Mega. What can your Digimon do, other than “sit around all day in its own Digi-filth”? I’m also an astronaut who was the first person on Mars, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO proDigious). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

pastaaaaaaaaaaa

>>26464891
Hey commoners,

My name is Gohda, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day trying to disprove an obviously MAGICAL mystery. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever won a Witch's Game? I mean, I guess it's fun playing PRETEND DETECTIVE, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than marrying furniture.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was head chef of a five-star restaurant, and FOUR Michelin Star winner. What cuisines can you make, other than "eggs and drowning"? I also got re-hired as a private chef to a rich family, and have a banging hot admirer (She just ate my croissant; Shit was SO cash). You are all fools who should just bite your navels and die. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my fan

Well.

>>26464943

Is that the only problem you found in the first line?

>>26464978

We're not all Americans.

>>26464956

>>26464997
>>26464961
Alright, these were good.

Hey Witches,

My name is Battler, and I don't believe in any single one of you. All of you are fake, non-existant, liars who spend every second of their day pretending magic is real. You are everything illogical in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever heard of Devil's Proof? I mean, I guess it's fun making up 'spells' because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than killing my family.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best spell. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the debate club, and starter in the chessboard flipping team. What hobbies do you have other than "give gold to old Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging cousin (She just uu~'d me; Shit was SO cash). You are all fakers who should just stop believing in silly things like magic. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my cousin.

>I own several kimonos, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to Japan, so I can fit in easier.
>so I can fit in easier.

>>26464943
>calling someone a weeaboo in /a/

>>26464997
>>FOUR Michelin Star winner
>>FOUR

>>26465015
>implying that you matter if you arent

>>26465015
It's 7:40 on the east coast US.

First Week Sales
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Bakemonogatari Vol.1............44,500 copies
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Bakemonogatari Success and Triumph

1. Top Summer Anime according to 2ch
2. Top Summer Anime according to Dengeki
3. Weeks Best-selling Novel Series according to Asahi Shimbun Newspaper
4. Second highest selling DVD/BD anime TV series in the first week
5. Most downloaded anime released by GG since year began
6. Hideo Kojima has already started to read Bakemonogatari novel, According to his blog.

hilarious thread!

Bet you can't cut a broadsword with your fucking katana.

>>26465030
>>Battler
>>straight A's

I can tell right away that this pasta has been made ineptly and that the chef should be fired and fed his own fecal matter.

I shall be taking my business elsewhere.

>>26465015
Yes, but unless we have a thriving Hawaiian population here, it's 4:41 PM at the earliest on /a/. You really have to go by West Coast time to differentiate between daytime and nighttime /a/ - otherwise all of the underage faggots over in California or Hippyland will still be here.

>>26464986
ohhhh fuck

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Hey Cyborgs,

My name is Killy, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are monstrous, inhuman, machines who spend every second of their day killing the last human survivors. You are everything bad in the City. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any Net Terminal Genes? I mean, I guess it's fun butchering people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than trying to access the Net Sphere provisionally.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was constructed as a special Safeguard, and have been given a directive to destroy all Silicon Creatures. What missions do you have other than "murder innocent human beings"? I can also regenerate instantly, and have a banging gun (it just blew something up; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my gun.

>>26464997
>>FOUR Michelin Star

JESUS VOLCANO CHRIST. FOUR STARS?

I FUCKING WANT TO EAT GOHDA'S FOOD.

>I train with my Katana every day, this superior weapon CAN CUT CLEAN THROUGH STEEL because it is folded over a thousand times, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth.

>>26465120

>>26465067

>Implying that America isn't the most worthless country in the world

>>26465046
>>26465081
>>26465111
>>26465151
I like where this is going.

Hey Gallians,

My name is Ty, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are underaged, overconfident greenhorns who spend every second of their day looking at stupid-ass uniform skirts. You are everything bad in Europa. Honestly, have any of you ever invaded anything? I mean, I guess it's fun staying out of wars because of your neutrality, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures in the official artbook.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much immortal. I was captain of the recon division, and point man on my scout team. What combat roles do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn militia bakers?" I also get straight A ranks, and have a banging hot commander (She just killed half your squad; Shit was SO HAX). You are all Darcsen scum who should just surrender your base camp. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my commanding officer.

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Bastard Sword" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.

Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.

Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:

(One-Handed Exotic Weapon)
1d12 Damage
19-20 x4 Crit
+2 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon)
2d10 Damage
17-20 x4 Crit
+5 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Katanas in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = Katanas need to do more damage in d20, see my new stat block.

>>26465233
No drinking on duty, Ty.

Hey Faggots,

My name is Enju, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are short, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever even made a doll? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun fighting each other so you can meet Father because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to Dolls on Bokuchan.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was Rozen's apprentice, and a master Doll-maker. What kind of dolls do you make, other than "the kind you blow up from the porn shop"? I also get straight A's in Doll smithing, and have a banging hot maiden (She just got 5 Roza Mysticas; Shit was SO Cash). You are all junk who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

>>26465046
>>26465081
>>26465111
>>26465151
>>26465220

Lol'd

>>26465249
inb4 endless recursion of time.

THIS ENTIRE THREAD IS TROLLS AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON

>Greeting with Gomenasai.

>>26465346

Hey Guys,

You probably remember my name is John, and I want to apologize to every single one of you. I'm pretty sure most of you arent fat and are probably cleverer than I said, and if you guys want to look at pictures and stuff, then that's cool, everyone has a different life. The world is here to be shared, and I'm happy to share it with you guys. Most of you have probably got pussy before, anyway... I had a look around and there was a picture of a bitch being plowed by a guy with "RON PAUL /b/" written on his dick. I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people... I do it myself, but not as well as you guys. I actually met my bitch through facebook, so I guess we're all a bit nerdy sometimes.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I deserve it after what I was like. I resigned from the football team and took up chess, and quit basketball when I realised the only people playing were niggers anyway. I also tried jacking off to an anime girl, which actually isn't all that bad. I only got straight A's because my mom fucked the principal, and my hot girlfriend is actually just a blow-up doll (She just popped; Shit was SO shit). You are all just reasonable people who should disregard what I said to you, don't become "an heroes" LOL (am I a newfag or what?). Thanks for listening, no hard feelings, right?

Pic Related: It's me and my blow-up bitch. We're both really, really sorry

Is this a copypasta thread. Alright then:


This happened in high school, so in hindsight I feel like it was a pretty irrational move, but I think what I did was justified.

Anyway, whenever I went to art class there was another class next door, about 2 years above our class, that would enter and leave around the same time. Without fail, every time we waited outside of the class for our respective teachers this girl would make fun of me. She would always point out the shape of my head and then all of her friends would laugh. It infuriated me.

One day I'd had enough, so I followed her around from a distance during recess while she went on some errands and shit. I was pretty good at staying hidden, so when she was descending one of the larger flights of stairs I ran down the hall as fast as I could and kicked her in the back. The tumble she took looked incredibly painful, and she was screaming quite a bit, and I almost felt bad for a moment, but then I just turned around and got the fuck out of there.

She was off school for a while. A month or two maybe. No one ever found out it was me. Still, she had it coming.

I guess my penis is folded over 10,000 times then because it cuts through the defenses of women everywhere. And by Penis I mean gun, and by Defenses, I mean floorboards under which they are hiding.

>>26464777
HI KEN SAMA I AM HOLIC SAMA I AM WEEABOO GAIKOKUJIN AND I LIKE ANIME AND MANGA. WE SHOULD HANG OUT SOMETIME AND DRAW MANGA TOGETHER AND JERK OFF ON IT. I'LL BE JOINING YOU IN A YEAR WHEN I GO TAKE MY LEVEL 2 JLPT TEST IT WILL BE A GREAT TIME

:3

>>26465445