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07/27/09(Mon)14:57 No.23392572I
mentioned it here before, but the latter part of my secondary school
life was atrocious. For the first three years, it was excellent. Had a
nice group of friends. The downside was, they were all skinnier than
me. I felt horrendously overweight at 134 lbs. When I was around
fifteen/sixteen, my self esteem just plummeted over it. I couldn't
concentrate on anything, and I was just so depressed. I developed an
eating disorder, and it was good for a while. All my friends commented
on how, 'skinny I looked lately', and it felt good. Too bad I began to
get worse as time went on. In my fourth year, I began to isolate myself
from everyone; I always thought that my friends were trying to get a
one up on me. This all stemmed when they sat me down one day and told
me how bloody worried they were over me. I ignored them. Parents
noticed, awkward times ensue. I refuse to snap out of it.
In
fifth year, I've pretty much distanced myself from all those skinny
friends, and I'm alone. Nobody wants to make friends with the 'creepy,
anorexic girl'. It's about this time I start getting into anime, and
I'm envious of how thin everyone seems, like it's natural for them to
be that skinny. Manga is worse. In my sixth and final year, I was
pulled out of school to be sent to a stupid little eating disorders
ward, where I stayed for about seven months. It was horrible, and
utterly soul draining. They refused to let me leave until I gained 20
lbs. When I finally reached my target weight, I was free. However,
everyone else was after finishing school, all those important tests,
and were going to college. This was last Summer, by the way.
I'd
to repeat my last year, and I couldn't slip back into my old ways
because my parents were watching me like a hawk. All this year, I've
been working towards those silly college entrance exams, and I took
them in June. I'm crossing my fingers now to get the points I want, and
hopefully in college, people won't see me as a creepy, anorexic girl
anymore. |