cool story bro

My stomach churned as I dug into one of my pockets and found exactly fifty bucks, I scanned Mari's face for signs that she might be joking. There were none. I sighed and stumbled into the kitchen pausing momentarily to close the open window and place the toppled pot plant back onto the windowsill.

"I wish you’d use the door once in a while" I grumbled while splashing some cold water onto my face.

"Boring" Came the response from the living room.

That's exactly the kind of response I'd expect from the tangled mass of contradictions known as Mari. I've known her for a few months now and I haven't quite managed to figure her out yet, her own apartment is a dump yet I've frequently woken up to find her cleaning my place. Just two days ago I walked in to find her hanging shelves, I don't know where the tools or the wood came from but I'm now the proud owner of a pair of "hand crafted Mari shelves" which now home my album and movie collection. I remember how Mari scolded me for not keeping albums in a proper order and for leaving discs laying on the side instead of putting them back in their cases.

"I'm going for a bath" I declared to nobody in particular as I headed towards the bathroom.

Thanks for delivering!

>>20873836
I like where this is going...

Upon entering the bathroom I immediately undressed and began filling the bath with hot water, I'm usually more of a shower person, but it's probably not a wise idea for someone with my current blood/alcohol level to be standing up for too long, besides one of the reasons I moved in to this place was because of the unusually luxurious bathroom and its Jacuzzi-esque bath so why not enjoy it once in a while? I tossed last nights clothes onto a pile by the door and slowly lowered myself into the bath, after getting used to the temperature I cautiously stretched out with the intention of spending the next half an hour soothing my aching body.

After what must have been around five to ten minutes I heard the sound of footsteps rapidly approaching the bathroom door, the door exploded open with the familiar creak before crashing into the wall behind as Mari strode into the room her face contorted into a look of monstrous rage. My immediate reaction was to cover my manhood as Mari angrily undressed, hurled her clothes on top of mine and without so much as a single word got in the bath and sat down beside me.

F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5

do want

I'd whine like a bitch about the horribly out of character fanfiction, but I guess we don't really know what Mari is like

>>20874001
You haven't accompanied our "let's figure out Mari's personality threads" recently. This is the fruit of it.

Why is there fanfction of a character we don`t know anything about?

>>20874001

>out of character fanfiction

Implying there are other kinds of fanfiction

>>20874032
>implying that you have enough reading comprehension to know otherwise

in b4 authors vs fans

Overdone setting, still Mari's personality is win.

i'm ignoring the fact that Mari is an eva character and just enjoying this story for what it is
it's pretty entertaining

OP, you're not posting more? ;_;

>>20874158

I'm writing it now.

>>20874238
Take your time, I'm not going anywhere.

Try to steer away from all the stuff that's already been done with Asuka's personality.

E.g.
>"Boring" Came the response from the living room.

Mari mumbled something about a "fucking game" as I felt my face turning redder and redder. Despite the surreal situation I've found myself in today this kind of thing isn't especially unusual, this isn't the first time Mari's undressed in front of me and this isn't even the first time we’ve been naked and in close proximity, what I've always found difficult to grasp is how carefree she is. Mari always hassles me about being "uptight" and not being willing to "live a little" but I guess that's just how she is.

"Uh... Mari?" I probe as she gazes angrily at the dripping tap.

"Your game is garbage." She coldly uttered.

"It’s not the game, you're just a terrible loser." I jokily responded without properly considering the somewhat vulnerable position I was in.

Mari shot me a look of death before bursting into hysterics, "Seriously though" she coughed "the game IS garbage."

"Really?"

"Really… I crushed it." Came the response.

>>20874408
so....we lost...the game?

That's it for today I'm afraid. I only had a few hours to spare and I've already written and rewritten the next part a bunch of times and it's just not really working for me. I'll save what I've done so far, spend a few hours away from it to decide what to do next and post again tomorrow.

Sorry for blueballs. There wasn't going to be porn anyway. Probably.

>>20874408
>"Really… I crushed it." Came the response.

IFSHE CRUSHED MY VALKYRIA CHRONICLES, SHE'D DIE

>>20874457

I swear that was totally unintentional.

Sage for ronery. Countered by bump for decent writing skills.

F5 F5 F5

>>20874408
...you lost me

>>20874478
But I want sex with Mari...
Ok, cya tomorrow.

We are WATCHING

I'll need more Mari pics for tomorrows update, can anyone deliver?

>>I awoke in my clothes with a foul taste in my mouth
That's better than the other way around, I suppose.

>>20874571
http://danbooru.donmai.us/post?tags=makinami_mari_illustrious&searchDefault=Search

So why are we having a fanfic about a character you know nothing about? As far as I can tell, this might as well be Asuka.

>>20874616

Why not? Mari's a blank slate so for now she can be whatever we want her to be.

>>20874478
...you...you...you...
I'd be angrier if I didn't know their might me delicious text tomorrow.

>>20874478
Nah, Porn or no porn, It's okay with me

>>20874478
when the story's complete, could you please upload the doc file to rapidshare/megaupload/whatever you use?

contrary to popular opinion, this anon has things to do and cannot sit at a computer all day

>>20874640

My thoughts exactly.

I popped a boner.

>>20874478
That's cool. See ya tomorrow.

>>20874610

Thanks a lot.

>>20874725

Certainly. I thought I'd follow a time honored tradition of feeding everyone the story over the course of several days to give the readers something to look forward to every day.

>the fact that she most likely jumped across the balcony and then gained entry by squeezing through the open kitchen window instead of simply using the front door doesn't even surprise me anymore

That made me smile. Mari's a kooky gal.

>>20874833
I just hope Shinji doesn't come out from the closet wielding some sharp object just when climax is about to happen

>>20874883

Would this be a bad time to admit that I wrote that one too?

>>20874833
Also, fanfiction.net, I'm not sure but I think yours would be the first Mari fic there.

The narrator is actually Mari's split personality. Sorry for spoiling it OP.

Who is writing all this?

I have a world class hard on right now, whoever you are.

>>20874914
No, But it does give as a bit of an idea what the end would be

Gainax is going to make her an unbearable bitch and these stories will be a cruel reminder of what could have been.

>>20874946

I definitely won't do that this time. Besides, I only did that before because I ran out of interest in the story and just couldn't be bothered to end it properly. I have a lot of interest in Mari so there won't be a cop out 'troll end' here.

>>20875022
Nah, That was a classic, Mio coming out of the closet killed the boners of both tripfags and Anonymous alike

>For many guys of my age this would be a fantasy scenario but for me this is just a regular occurrence

JEALOUS RRRRAGE

Why the fuck are people so obsessed over a horribly designed character who no one knows anything about?
And when did /a/ turn into a place for shitty fanfiction?

>>20874982
Mari is a bro. /a/ has spoken.

>>20875076

Go back to your shitty K-ON threads.

>>20875091
/a/'s hopes and dreams vs Anno.

>>20875076
Porn.

>>20875111
You read fanfiction. I don't even have to argue with you as you're at the fucking bottom of the barrel when it comes to the scum of the internet.

>>20875123
Indeed

Fuck Anno

>>20875076
pornfics are an integral part of /a/

>>20875140
NEWFAG

>>20875174
No. Fanfics are the various germs that are busy decomposing the dead corpse of /a/, which was killed by the cancer that was shounen, yaoi fangirls and homosexuals.

>>20875190
See? You now have Gaiafags and fanfic readers calling the old people newfags.

>>20875140
HA, you haven't been here very long have you, chief?
lurk moar

>>20875201
Just since late 2003

>>20875195

>talking about /a/ as if he's been here for years

>>20875195

>>20875152
"Would you like Mari to live?"

"I'm sorry, I just cannot do that."

>>20875213
Then you should know your retarded bitching isn't going to change shit.

>the dead corpse of /a/

Oh fuck you. /a/ is far from dead.

Call this fucker. He's a child rapist and I think it'll be funny if you fuck with him.

Thank you.

:)

407-230-1401

In any event, I don't really care for fanfiction but I'm a gainaxfag and Mari gives me a massive hardon.

Try to finish this story in a timely manner

>>20875247
Why not? That's what 4chan used to be. People bitching about the rest of the retards on the internet. Now 4chan consists of the very same people it used to insult.

Seriously, fanfics? What the fuck?

SALAD FINGERS

>>20875258

Why the fuck are you talking like this is a new thing on /a/?

>>20875271
I'm not. I've been bitching about this shithole for three years.

So, what's next? Draw some anime style pictures from Twilight? Write some Harry Potter meets Naruto crossover slash fanfiction? ^_^

>>20874021

I spent the days playing kotor from morning to night, do fill me in.

>>20875258
Who cares what it is so long as you can fap to it? I'd rather have fap fics than reaction face threads and 5 gets. Go bitch about those or just fuck the hell off of 4chan if you don't like it.

>>20875318
Gainaxfags are busy lapping up Anno's stale cum. That about sums it up.

>>20875258
Short version:retards bitching against retards

>>20875337
How the fuck do you fap to fics? Are you turned on by shitty writing? What the fuck kinda fetish is that?

>>20875305
>Turns out I have no rational argument so I'll just thread shit like a SA goon

>>20875366
Dude. You're fapping to poorly written fanfics about a random, poorly designed character you know nothing about. Is that good enough for you?

Fuck yeah Mari!

She's gonna be such a bro.

Then she'll die. ;_;

Suddenly trolls! Everywhere!

>I've been bitching about this shithole for three years.

fucking lol

>>20875393
Fine by me. It'll be like fapping to a porno movie only in written form.

>poorly written

I thought it was written quite well actually.

I was about to write a short, sarcastic bit about anonfags sucking Anno's cock, but then I realized you faggots would probably creams your pants reading it, and I'm not going to give you that pleasure.

>>20875490
Well, fuck me. Just like the Twilight fans think Twilight is a brilliantly written masterpiece.

>>20875540
Apparently you don't understand the concept on which 4chan was founded.

Why the fuck are people so obsessed over a horribly designed character who no one knows anything about?
And when did /a/ turn into a place for shitty fanfiction?
Fanfics are the various germs that are busy decomposing the dead corpse of /a/, which was killed by the cancer that was shounen, yaoi fangirls and homosexuals.

I've been bitching about this shithole for three years and why not? That's what 4chan used to be. People bitching about the rest of the retards on the internet. Now 4chan consists of the very same people it used to insult.

Fucking new content! I want repeated memes because my aspergers riddled brain cannot cope with anything new.

>>20875548
You mean sharing images? I don't think you posted a fresh, new image along with your every complaint.

>>20875615
Oh yeah. Fanfiction is brilliant new content. Completely original.

Jesus Christ...

>>20874616
Asuka would never do something as crude as paraphrase "get nekkid and jump into a bath with a male she didn't like", she must have been hella-bored to kiss Shinji in Eva.

>>20875548
To talk about and indulge our hobby?
gb2/b/

>>20875523
>>>20875490
>Well, fuck me. Just like the Twilight fans think Twilight is a brilliantly written masterpiece.

/a/non was just pointing out that two opinions conflict. your obvious statement that "fans of fanfic" are fans of their fanfic displeases me.

>>20875654
I honestly don't know if I'm getting trolled here, shit!
Please say yes...

>>20875615
I know the guy who drew that picture, and considering he actually does have Aspeberger's... is that you Dadaph?

It's funny because the guy who started off as a troll is now the one being trolled.

>>20875723
Except I'm not a troll. The fact that you think you have to be a troll to hate fanfics, shows how fucking far this place has sunk.

>>20873799
>I croaked.
ribbit