[0:00.00]I heard there is no Christmas|In the silly Middle East
[0:04.80]No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus|They have different religious beliefs
[0:09.50]They believe in Muhammad|And not in our holiday
[0:13.69]And so every December|I go to the Middle East and say

[0:19.78]Hey there Mr. Muslim|Merry fucking Christmas
[0:22.98]Put down that book the Koran|And hear some holiday wishes
[0:27.78]In case you haven't noticed|It's Jesus's birthday
[0:30.98]So get off your heathen Muslim ass|And fucking celebrate

[0:36.58]There is no holiday season|In India I've heard
[0:40.25]They don't hang up their stockings|And that is just absurd
[0:43.93]They've never read a Christmas story|They don't know what Rudolph is about
[0:47.93]And that is why in December|I'll go to India and shout

[0:53.93]Hey there Mr. Hinduist|Merry fucking Christmas
[0:57.04]Drink egg nog and eat some beef|And pass it to the missus
[1:01.72]In case you haven't noticed|It's Jesus's birthday
[1:04.84]So get off your heathen Hindu ass|And fucking celebrate

[1:10.29]Now I heard that in Japan|Everyone just lives in sin
[1:13.60]They pray to several gods|And put needles in their skin
[1:16.91]On December 25th|All they do is eat a cake
[1:20.34]And that is why I go to Japan|And walk around and say

[1:26.88]Hey there Mr. Shintoist|Merry fucking Christmas 
[1:29.85]God is going to kick your ass|You infidelic pagan scum
[1:34.31]In case you haven't noticed|There's festive things to do
[1:37.28]So lets all rejoice for Jesus|Merry fucking Christmas to you

[1:42.11]On Christmas day|I travel 'round the world and say

[1:47.44]Taoists, Krishnas, Buddhists|and all you atheists too
[1:50.60]Merry Fucking Christmas to you