15 November 2019
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*drops my phone*

me: please don't be cracked

my phone:
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DUDE i just LOVE the hustle and bustle of the big city, it’s so DYNAMIC and makes me feel like i’m in one of my favourite TV SHOWS. you should totally come on down to my studio apartment, it’s got EXPOSED RED BRICK walls and everything, we can crack open a nice hoppy ipa or three and get crazy watching some cartoons on adult swim! and dude, dude, DUDE, we have GOTTA go down to the barcade- listen here, right, it’s a BAR where us ADULTS who do ADULTING can go DRINK. BUT!!!! it’s also an ARCADE like when we were kids, so we can play awesome VIDEO GAMES, without dumb kids bothering us. speaking of which megan and i have finally decided to tie the knot- literally -we’re both getting snipped tomorrow at the hospital, that way we can save money to spend more on ourselves and our FURBABIES. i’m fuckin JACKED man, i’m gonna SLAM this craft beer and pop open another one!!!
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16 November 2019
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She didn’t respawn in your bed?

Just focus on you bro.
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These five bois are at a bar. A fight breaks out between them. No rules. Last man standing wins. Who will win this?
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”That's Sanic, from new Jersey"
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17 November 2019
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In Joker (2019), there are many shots in which you can see trains, businesses, and even crowds of people. This is because it was filmed in a society.
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what lies in the shadowkeep?
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uhh hello do you know where the worm aisle is
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Drink your milk guys, keep those bones healthy
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18 November 2019
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>go for a walk in the park listening to gregorian chants
>see girl and boy kissing while sitting on a bench
>walk ruined
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Do women really set timers and count how many women they see on screen to enjoy something?
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me during the day vs me at bedtime
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19 November 2019
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loving the overworld in pokemon SWISH it is very beautiful and nice
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he do bo lookin fresh doe
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20 November 2019
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ceo of weebs
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u wan some gummy
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Life hack: If you choose the wrong spaghetti sauce, you can wash it off using your washing machine.
21 November 2019
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Why yes my favorite movie is The Room (2003) how could you tell
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gonna tell my kids that this was death grips
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Baby Yoda no stop we need him to testify
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gonna tell my kids this was nicholas cage
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22 November 2019
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parry this casul
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Men: “Babe, I wish you’d wear sexy panties more often.”

Also Men:
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23 November 2019
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Gonna tell my kids this is what Jesus Christ looked like
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forbidden soup
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hey it’s your uber driver here
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gonna tell my kids this was g-man
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Ppffbfbfpfpfpfpff bbbfbfffpfppfpfffbbbb
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parry this casul
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LMAO this dude fell in love with a girl
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haha they will laugh at my memes
24 November 2019
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>think about vidya I played in 2012
>time to download it and play some
>get excited
>finish downloading
>no I don't think I want to play it anymore
why
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Gonna tell my kids this was Van Gogh
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RADIO EVA × FILA
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how to find wg in berlin 🤡
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guys literally only want one thing and it’s fucking awesome
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Girls looking at themselves in the mirror: Gonna put some makeup on so i look sexy for the date ☺️

Boys looking at themselves in the mirror:
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Hello bitch, nice TITS ahahahahah milky millky milky baby thristy mommy baby want milk suck suck suck suck hahahaha stupid cunt give me those big udders you slut hahahaha tits tit titty me your caveman me use big titty for big bitty hahaha honk honk honk slut cunt mommy honk honk milky baby want more if now honk honk honk pitter patter on those big mommy milkies hee hee hee haha haaaa haaaa can’t stop the milk truck coming through honk honk all aboard the titty train hee hee wooo wooooo00 honk honk honk!!!
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fuck it
cat diaper
25 November 2019
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In reply to this message
CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES!!!
THIS IS MY LAST BITCOIN!!!
Suffocation, no breathing
Don't give a fuck if I sell my alts, bleeding
THIS IS MY LAST BITCOIN!!!

Cut my gains into pieces
I've reached my last bitcoin
Suffocation, no breathing
Don't give a fuck if I sell my alts, bleeding
Do you even care if my alts die bleeding?
Would it be wrong?, would it be right?
If I sold my bags tonight
Chances are that I might
Mutilation outta sight
And I'm contemplating suicide
Cause I'm losing my gains
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my gains
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
NO WHITEPAPER IS RIGHT
NO ADOPTION IN SIGHT

IM SELLING AND IM CRYYYYYYING

I never realized I was buying too high
Till it was too late and I was liquidated within
Hungry, feeding on hope and livin' in /biz/
Downward spiral, where do I begin?
It all started when I lost my wallet
No gains for myself and no hope for another
Searchin' to find entry upon a higher level
Findin' nothin' but questions and wojaks

Cause I'm losing my gains
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me when buy
Losing my gains
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me when buy

Nothing's alright, nothing is fine
I'm sellin' and I'm crying
I'm crying, I'm crying
I'm crying, I'm JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUST
I can't go on living this way

CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES
THIS IS MY LAST BITCOIN!!!!
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26 November 2019
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платье для кота 25.11.2019 13:21:21
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Imma tell my kids this was Ariana Grande
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Б
Бобратим 26.11.2019 06:55:17
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Nep 26.11.2019 09:15:15
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.nullf 26.11.2019 07:06:17
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Fuck it
Baby Yobama
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dota just got killed rip
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quentinen and tarantined by writtin directino
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27 November 2019
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28 November 2019
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gonna tell my kids this was sekiro shadows die twice
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perfect date
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29 November 2019
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Girls during winter: YESSS it's gonna be christmas soon i'm so excited

Boys during winter:
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Bare minimum requirements to have a gf
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It's early 2011. You're in 8th grade. You just got home from school. You boot up your 360 and got Black Ops in the tray. You pop some pepperoni pizza rolls in the microwave. You see your buddy James is online. You invite him to a party. You two match up with randoms in "Five". You guys buy the M14 over the Olympia. You try and do the table glitch but it doesn't work anymore. You do the Eminem phone Easter egg. You don't shoot the pig. You desperately try to run away from the Pentagon Thief but he still catches you. You drink all the sodas and get pack-a- punched weapons by round 10. The 4 of you make it to round 36 before heading off or doing regular multiplayer. Life is good.
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Me and the boys missing out on teenage love
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30 November 2019
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

COOMING, I AM
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I’m gonna tell my kids this was aphex twin
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when my aunt asks me if i found a girlfriend yet
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"Wow Anon, you're so funny! I'm so glad we met

....oh here's my Boyfriend to pick me up, thank you for taking me out to lunch!"

"No worries, Stacy! Thank you for the dinner."
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1 December 2019
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“Hey bro you gotta listen to that new Post Malone song.”
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Ernest Hemingway once won a bet by crafting the world’s saddest short story:
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ĐØØ₥₲ɄɎ Ⱨ₳₴ Ɇ₦₮ɆⱤɆĐ ₮ⱧɆ ₴ɆⱤVɆⱤ
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>Having a strong opinion about anything
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hey 🅱️itch 🐶, no 🙅 nut 🥜 november 📅 is finally 😏 over 😫, time ⏰ to release 😋 all those hard-earned 💸 🤑 cummies 🍆 💦 💦 now at destroy 🔨 dick 🍆 december 😩!! the rules 👌 are simple, 1st ☝ day, nut once 🍆 💦, 2nd ✌ day, nut twice 🍆 💦 💦, all the way 🏃 till december 31 📅 where 🤷‍♀️ you nut 🥜 31 times 🍆 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 in a day 😩 😩, which is 🤔 a total 🏷 of 3️⃣1️⃣ nuts 😱. get your 👈 1️⃣ong 5️⃣chlong outta your thong 👀 and 😎 get 🤗 stroking ✊ 🍆 💦 😋!!!
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2 December 2019
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