04:28
eternal classic
holy fuck I just remembered about the Japanese exchange student Yusuke who came to my school and was in my friend group. So Yusuke was in dark Grey grades in Japan (apparently their grading system was shaded from black to white, black you failed school entirely, white was high pass, extra help with college etc. That's how he explained it. He was one shade away from black) and his school cut a deal with him to come to Australia: participate in extracurricular activities, do not get arrested, do not get deported, you must attend every class. If he did that, then he would pass final year of high school and therefore, school itself. so Yusuke was in the high school musical we do biannually and he was literally THE best comic relief character. He had like 3 lines but they were full scale broken English lines and he got major props from the audience. at the musical after-party, he pulls me into a room and goes "have you know cocaine?" and I'm like "yes Yusuke, I do indeed know cocaine" and he was tryna get me to find some but coke cost about $300 a point in my cosy hometown. I did have a ten pack of pingas so we went line for line and I watched him jump on top of a couch and onto the coffee table but the table didn't break so he just ended up fucking his back up. anyway, three weeks to go until he goes back to Japan with the rest of the exchange students: my friend groups chillin at lunch and the deputy principal comes over to us and condescendingly and loudly and slowly asks Yusuke to come with him. at the end of the day my mate comes up like "you seen Yusuke? He didn't come back to class" so we freak out and text him. Yusuke texts back "expelled from school for horny" and we are just like "what in the fuckin hell" so we go over to his host families house. Yusuke has been paired up with the super christian kids family and when we rock up, his mum only notices me and not the five other dudes with me (I used to absolutely crush her son in piano eisteddfods when we were in primary school and she frothed me) and is like "oh! What a pleasant surprise!" and I'm like "hey Mrs Wilson is Yusuke in?" and shes like "oh hmmm I'm not too sure honey, Yusuke has committed a sin recently and I don't think it would be appropriate for him to be seeing anyone until he's had a think about what he's done". Long story short I convince Mrs w to let us see him for ten minutes only. We storm into the room and are like "what happened what hapoened" and he just sighs and goes "on drama musical night, I sleep with two girls at same time and now I deported and expelled" and we found out the motherfucker had a threesome with the deputy principals sons girlfriend and one of the exchange students at that after-party we were doing pingas at. so we're freaking out like knowing full well we're complicit in this, especially me. suddenly a light bulb goes off and I'm like "we live in a democracy. We're gonna get you back in school". That night I make a petition spreadsheet on publisher and print out like 20 pages and spend the whole next day at school with my bros going class to class getting people to sign a petition to get Yusuke unexpelled. school has about 750 students, we had 30 pages of signatures because we had to use the back of the ones I'd printed out coz we got so many signatures. I strut into the deputy principals office and slap this pile of signatures on his desk while he's having a meeting with some dorks mum and he's like "what is this about?" and I'm like "read the title" and it says "Yusuke shouldn't be expelled for being a sick cunt. Get Yusuke back in school" and the dp laughs a bit and goes "you didn't go to class at all today did you" and I'm like "Nah I was getting my friend learned again". Anyways Yusukes expulsion gets revoked and he cries heaps and thanks us all for getting him back in and whatever. couple weeks later we all say goodbye and everything, real emotional.