Its a full episode of party in your moms basement, in a can, in a plastic container.
Gramma won't let you out? Moms a cunt? Raves are full of braindead drug addicts?
THEN BRING THE RAVE INTO YOUR LIVING ROOM! AND FEED IT. AND CARE FOR IT. AND MAYBE, JUST
MAYBE IF YOU PROVE YOURE RESPONSIBLE, YOU CAN KEEP IT.

ELECTRO-MOCKHAUSE-RETARDDROOL-BOUNCYSOUNDS-CORE-MO`CORE-TEKNOPORN-MR.T-HIP
-HOOOP-SWAG(STFUALRDY)-WHATVRUNDRGROUNDISNOW-BASSTECTICLES-MIDIFUCKINGRAPE

All this and more, in a sleek, compact, botox injecting model. Easy to conceal, 
be discreet, refuse to finish songs.

Are you Sick of sifting through Petrabytes of shit in search of one good house track?
I mean seriously, just one fucking 3 minute song that doesn't make you think of bulky
homosexual germans from 1992 or your younger sister after she got that stupid adapter
to play her black-hole-culture iPhuck tunes in your moms jeep all summer? SEEK NO 
FURTHER, AND STOP TOUCHING YOURSELF THERE.
Lucky for your sorry ass, RUBBER MUFFIN has taken everything you'l ever need to pretend
your a huge music nerd (lawlimanerdbtitsnotkewlolkitis) / producer next time your at
the what-the-fuck-is-an-ID NIGHTCLUB trying to impress lauren loose lips.
Yep, all the super newkskewl cuntemporary ableton-is-the-future-fuck-the-beatles music
styles compressed into 30 minutes, with just enough satire to justify your pretentious
cock enjoying it.
Wait? When does the joke start and the music end? Who the fuck knows? Just take this pill
(free with hardcopy purchase, ask your local music refuse for deets) and everything will
be ok. And soft. Really fucking soft.
Do you like hip-hop but are a blatant selft hating racist that is most likely a cowering
closet homosexual channeling his hate and fear of being gang beaten by his friends for
smoking sausage? With enough swagger to fuck a horses face with (and WIN), you won't even 
have to listen to 49 cents to be a g! LUCKY FOR YOU, RUBBER MUFFIN HAS BESTOWED YOU WITH
WINMOCK-HOP. WHOOTAH.
Are you sick of wanting to listen to 140 half time beats, but being afraid of even fucking
saying the word dubstep? Great, we have a 120 second segment for you, sit down a shut the
fuck up.
Do you enjoy breakcore, but hate the sudden side effects such as EXTREME IRRITABLE BOWEL
EXPLOSIONS? or SPONTANEOUS REMOVAL OF THE UNDERWEAR AND/OR GENITALIA?
GREAT! Lucky for you, RUBBER MUFFIN has gently mastered in seamless transitions between
bearable measures and fuck-it-i-didnt-need-teeth-anyway-core, allowing listeners to 
"bounce to the beat" and "get jiggy with it" before suddenly blowing thick chunks of
digested KFC the fuck through their banana republic toasted uranium seed print slacks.

No matter where your from, who you are, what you did, this shit will tickle your dick.
(as long a you love me)

made from 100% recyclable wet pussy, on the fly, in the moment, like VIPs, without
any regard to the law, cause thats how Gs roll, no planning, in some dingy crack shack
just because it felt good.
Kinda like when your dad got your mom preggo at 16, and decided a good name was "Merlew",
right, Geoff?

RUBBER MUFFIN
5UP3R 5H1FTY D4NC3 JUNK COPYRIGHT THE MOTHERFUCKING FUTURE
BECAUSE FUCK YOU, THATS WHY.
LOVE, RUBBER MUFFIN. 


Much love, baby