*@{%((&=!)(|\'%#'%($(%'$"""$%$'}*}_{_+*
'&                                   -^
7&       HOW TO BE A K-K00L D00D     *:
X#       )()()()()()()()()()()()     }@
!"       !!!!!! {PART 1} !!!!!!!     #$
|~       =======================     %+
&'       BY THE M0ST K-K00L D00D     {(
()                                   )=
=)(&$'*+L+L="I~h)'0'%('$`*+`+!%+?!@]x_?

HAY! THIS IS A K-RAD PHILE THAT SHOULD
TEACH ANY AVERAGE IDIOT TO BE 1 OF TH
M0ST K-AWSUMEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD!1!!
SO READ IT D00D AND LEARN A LOT!!!!!!1
                 {THE M0ST K-K00L D00D}

---------------------------------------
        SEKTION WON! POSTING!!!
        -----------------------

]WHEN POSTING A K-K00L MESSAGE ITZ
REALLY NECESSARY TO USE THE LEFTOVER
20 LINES OF A MESSAGE 4 YER HANDLE!!

]ALWAYS POST YER PRIVATE MESSAGES SO
THE SYSOP WONT GET MAD AT YOU 4
SENDING E-MAIL!!!1!!!!!!!!!

]DO LOTZA TEXT GRAFFICKS AND BACK-
SPACING IN YER MESSAGE OTHERWISE DONT
POST AT ALL!!!!!1!!!!!!!

]NEVER POST THE FONE NUMBER OF A K-K00L
BBS WHEN YA ADVERTISE IT BECAUSE GEEKZ
AND LOZZERZZ WILL KAWL IT!!!!!!!!!!!

]A K-K00L D00D DOEZNT KNOW WHERE HIS
CAPZ LOK KEY IZ AND HOW TO UZE IT!!!!!

]WHEN MOMMY SAYZ TO BE IN BED D00D JUST
ACT LIKE YER ASLEEP THEN GO DIAL OUT
WITH YOUR K-RAD NETWORKER!!!!!!!!!!!!
{IF YOU DONT HAVE A NETWORKER THEN
 YOUR A LOZZER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!}

]ALWAYZ POST YER NEWEST WAREZ EVEN IF
YOU DONT HAVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!

]IF A SYSOP WONT GIVE YOU FULL SYSTUM
AXESS THEN PAGE HIM ALL NIGHT AND LEAVE
HIM LOTZ OF FEEDBACK!!!!!!!!!!

]SEND HATE MAIL TO GEEKZ AND LOZZERS!!!
(HEREZ AN EXAMPLE D00D!!!!!)

---------------------------------------
LETTER FROM:THE M0ST K-K00L D00D
POSTMARKED :XX/XX/XX

HEY D00D!!!!1!!!! YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE
YOU AND MY FRIENDS HATE YOU DICKWEED
AND YOU BETTER QUIT CALLING THIS BOAARD
KAUSE ME AND MY K-K00L PIRATE/PHREAK/
KRACK/HACK GROUP WILL CUM AND KICK YER
ASS ALL OVER YER MOMMAAA!!!!1!!!!!!!!
PUSSY!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            {THE}
                             {M0ST}
                              {K-K00L}
                               {D00D!!}
---------------------------------------

]K-K00L D00DZ ALSO WRITE PHILES AND GET
OFF THE SUBJEKT LIKE IM DOING NOW!!!!!!

]ALWAYZ UZE THE "ANONYMOUS" MOD ON A
BOARD WHEN POSTING A MESSAGE!!!!!!!!!!!

]ALWAYZ UZE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING WORDZ
IN UR HANDLE!!!!!!!!!!

]THE  ]PIRATE  ]KRACK  ]PHREAK  ]KILLER
 ]MACHO  ]MASTER  ]LORD  ]KING

---------------------------------------
    SEKTION 2!!! SPELLING OF WORDZ!!
    --------------------------------

]K-K00L D00DZ DONT SPELL LIKE NORMAL
PEOPLE KUZ THEY R TOO K-K00L!!!!!\!!
HEREZ A FEW HINTZ ON HOW TO SPELL LIKE
A TRUE K-K00L D00D!!!!

]"F" IS ALWAYZ REPLACED WITH "PH"!!2
]"PH" IS ALWAYZ REPLACWD WITH "F"!!
]"S" IS ALWAYZ REPLACED WITH "Z"!!!/
]"OO" IS ALWAYZ REPLACED WITH "00"!!!
]"X" IS ALWAYZ REPLACED WITH "ICKS"!!!

---------------------------------------
SEKTION 3!WHAT K-K00L D00DZ DO FOR FUN!
 -------------------------------------

]ALWAYZ MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A SEKTOR EDI
TOR HANDY WHEN SOMEONE GIVEZ YOU A KRAK
ED WARE!!! THAT WAY YA KAN PUT UR NAME
ALL OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

]PRANK KAWL BOARDZ YOU KNOW ARE DOWN!!!
BUT DONT ANSWER WHEN HE PIX UP TH FONE
OR HE MIGHT FIND OUT WHO YOU R!!1!

]MEET AWSUM CHICKS AT THESE RAD PLACES!

       -*)> MOVIE THEATERZ <(*-
       -*)> SHOPPING MALLZ <(*-
           -*)> K-MART <(*-
          -*)> WALMART <(*-
        -*)> BURGER KING <(*-

---------------------------------------

WELL THATZ IT D00D!!!! WE HOPE NOW THAT
YOU KAN JOIN TH RANKZ OF THE M0ST
K-K00L D00DZ IN THE UNIVERSE BECAUSE
FRANKLY THEREZ MILLIONZ OF US!!!!!!1!!!
IT TOOK ME EGGSAKTLY 2 DAYZ TO WRITE
THIS FILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            {THE}
                             {M0ST}
                              {K-K00L}
                               {D00D!!}

LOOK 4 "HOW TO TRAYD LIKE A K-K00L
D00D" WHICH IZ {PART 2} OF HOW TO BE A
K-K00L D00D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

---------------------------------------

THIS WUZ A SEKTOR EDITOR PRODUKTION!!!!