#=------------------------------------------------------------------=# #=- -=# #=- LEARNING TO SPEAK GEEK -=# #=- Written by: -=# #=- ARMCHAIR THIEF - AXE MURDERER -=# #=- Modified by: Lord Psycho -=# #=- In 80 Columns -=# #=- -=# #=------------------------------------------------------------------=# Living in the society of today, you might have to use many different languages to communicate with the other people around you. Most of us are normal "ENGLISH" users, or maybe a slight variation of. Lately, I have heard many people question words that to my knowledge are no really words. In fact, these phrases are so bizarre, that we decided to call them a completely different language all together. After months of hard research is and around the Bulletin Boards of Houston, we think we can finally make a educated guess at what his weird language means. Most commonly refered to as "GEEKS", these are the aliens that speak a language we have no name for as of yet, but in this documentation, we shall refer to it as "GEEK SPEEK" (the two E's are for alienation purposes). The following semi-words and "F"rases were taken from the language, "GEEK SPEEK" and we shall try our damn best to define them for you... #=------------------------------------------------------------------=# First of all, GEEK -(geeek) A disgusting little creature, usually between the ages of birth and 13 years of age. He likes to play D&D and get in abuse wars and lose by doing nothing more than spitting out 4 letter words that he read from the bathroom walls at his pre-school graduation dance (if he made it that far). A Geek also likes to say the following: #=------------------------------------------------------------------=# AWWSUM -(ah some) An adjective to describe anything put after it or in the same idea meaning interesting or appealing to ones personal tastes. Compare to NEATOW or NEATOE. EX- "My k-k00l commputor is AWWSUM". COMIC BOOKS -(commick buucks) A Geeks favorite pastime, besides bugging other users. Usually his handle on a BBS comes from a character in his comic book. EX- "The X-Men is the best COMIC BOOK around". COMMPUTOR -(cum pew tore) Geek Speek for the artifical intellegence normal people refer to as COMPUTER. EX- "I just bought me an awwsum Timex COMMPUTOR". May vary in spelling. DOOD -(doud?) A Geek Speek term for DUDE, which is somewhat of an english slang term. For more info, please see DUDEZ. EX- "He seemz like a pretty k00l DOOD". DOWNLOAD AND RUN -(dounload ahnd ruhn) A act practiced by Geeks everywhere, where as a Geek will immediately download a program, and then run like Hell with it, never bothering to think to Upload a file, or that he has hurt the feelings of the SysOp terribly. Once the act is committed, Geeks usually have to practice typing "NEW" upon trying to enter the BBS again. DUDETTE -(dood et) The female gender term for DUDEZ. See DUDEZ and DOOD for more detailed information. EX- "Hello dudez and DUDETTES". DUDEZ -(dood is) Molded from the decent person's slang term DUDE, meaning an all round decent person. See reverse gender, DUDETTE. EX- "What's going on, DUDEZ?". FONE -(foune) A telecommunications device known to normal people as a PHONE. EX- "I have a Radio Shack FONE" FREAK -(freek) The Geek term that represents the englsh term PHREAK. A is a person that abuses phone priviledges, and loves it. Geeks try to be one, but usually fail by spelling the word wrong, and also fail at being a pirate. EX- "Like hey dudez, I'm now a FREAK". IZ -(eez) A slang geekish term refering to the english term IS. EX- "That k-k00l game IZ neatoe". K-K00L -(kay kohl) An adjective that is the higest of all classes of terms to describe anything that appeals to the Geek. It is higher than the term AWWSUM, and usually more eye catching. Please take note of the zeroes in the word K00L. We think these are substitutes for an OO but further research is needed to confirm our suspisions. Old legends tell us that the K has something to do with the memory in the computer, therefor saying that it is COOL and the K signifies that it has to do with computing of some type. EX- "I think the Timex is a K-K00L commputor". MEGA -(mehgah) Geek prefix usually meaning lots of, bunch of, or whole shitload. Most often used in "I just got some MEGAcodes for MCI" The codes are old, and were stolen from another board. May also be used as "I have MEGAwarez" The warez are old, and he probably bought them. NEATOE -(neet toh) The lowest class of AWWSUM. If a piece of software is just OK, then it's just NEATOE. If the software is a valuable piece of trading, then is goes to the upper class NEATOW. The highest class of software is AWWSUM. EX- "It's alrite...just sorta NEATOE". NEATOW -(neet toh) Meaning closely to AWWSUM, but of a lower class. See also NEATOE. EX- "That game iz NEATOW". PHUN -(fuhn) Refering to the english term FUN, meaning that something done was enjoyed, or maybe in the case of software that a game was fun to play. EX- "That k-k00l game is really PHUN!". SPUD -(spuhd) Not too sure what this is or means Please don't confuse with the term STUD...Don't think it comes close to that. Only example at this time is "That dudez a SPUD". (baffling) TIMEX -(time ex) A past maker of sorry computers, whose watches have three times as much intellegence as their computers, and four times as much intellegence as a Geek. EX- "My TIMEX is k-k00l!" TRADEZ -(trade is) Noun meaning the act of swapping software or information about computers. Originated (we think) from the noun TRADES (plural) Compare also to WAREZ. EX- "I just got some awwsum TRADEZ". TRADZ -See TRADEZ. UPLOAD -(oup load) This is known by normal people, and Geeks, but Geeks don't and probably never will take part in this ritual of Bulletin Boards. It is the act of giving a program from you to another BBS system either for gaining access to the DOWNLOADS or just being friendly. EX- "DAMN YOU! UPLOAD SOMETHING...(SysOp)" WAREZ -(where is) A term used for the noun SOFTWARE, or any program for use on a computer. Originated for the second half, WARE. EX- "Hey dudez, you wanna trade some k-k00l WAREZ?" WARZ -See WAREZ. #=------------------------------------------------------------------=# COMMON GEEKISH STUFF If you see: We think it means: ----------- ------------------ 00 (two zeroes) Unless used in number, OO ----------- ------------------ PH Usually were an F goes ----------- ------------------ F Usually where a PH goes ----------- ------------------ Z (as plural) Replacement for S, ES ----------- ------------------ #=----------------------------------------------------------------)] Well, that's about it for now. BUT REMEMBER: if you see any other terms that you haven't the slightest idea what it means, then please drop some E-Mail to: ARMCHAIR THIEF or AXE MURDERER and it shall be investigated to the fullest so that we can better help the world and ourselves to discovering what the Geek means by using this alien language. If enough terms are generated (it depends upon the Geeks to make new terms) then an amedment shall.