/:=--------------=\^/=--------------=:\ \ <%> Geek Expose '85 <%> / / Written by The Data Disintegrator \ \ Slapped together by Rat Fink / / [C] 1985 The Main Vision \ \ Modified By: Lord Psycho / / In 70 Columns \ \:=--------------=\^/=--------------=:/ Hey you, yes you! You out there... you know who you are! You are that little computer geek who caused so many things to happen in the past. You are the one who did these things: o Over PHREAK on the lines so [if you know how you little shit!] they bust people now! o Leech off of AE lines [local and long distance] so they change their passwords or do worse yet! You are also that little whiner who whines to mommy about only 2 drives and a single 10 meg with only a 1200 baud modem... [of course yer parents bought it all for you... you are too fucking young [wetnosed snot to have a job!]. You, yesssss YOU!, you caused these things and post messages like the ones below in my next message... they show what a computer geek is and what to do about them! [Dwarf Lord pay close attention here!] READ ON! Numb: 245 From: THE GEEK [please substitute name] Subj: GEEK SHIT HEY RAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!!!!! [please take note of the geek's new hobby "!!!!!"]YOU ARE A FUCKING [the GEEK learned a new word!] ASSHOLE [thus expanding his vocabulary to all of 3 words.] WHY DONT YOU [notice, no apostrophe] JUST FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFF, I THINK YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF PUSSYSSSSS FUCK YOU!!!!! [the only grammatical thing the GEEK gets right are his "!!!!" exclamation points!] I CAN POST WHATEVER I WANT TO DATA DICKINTEGRATOR!!!! SO YOU JUST FUCK OFFFFF I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE SO I WILL KICK YOU ASS!!!!! [the GEEK is about 4' 2" and weighs about all of 89 pounds... his age matches his I.Q.: 5!] LATER............... HEY, HOW DO YOU GUYS BACKSPACE ON THIS BOARD??????????????????????????????????? L8TR C000000LLLLL DUDZ!!!!!!!!! [the GEEK has the nerve to ask a nice question after he posts stuff about yer mother and other asssorted members of your family!] Compiled: HEY RAT PUSSY!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE WHY DONT YOU JUST FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFF, I THINK YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF PUSSYSSSSS FUCK OFF!!!!! I CAN POST WHATEVER I WANT TO DATA DICKINTEGRATOR!!!! SO YOU JUST FUCK OFFFF I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE SO I WILL KICK YOU ASS!!!!!! LATER............. HEY, HOW DO YOU GUYS BACKSPACE ON THIS BOARD????????????????????? L8TR C000000LLLL DUDZ!!!!!!!!!! The GEEK is attempting to log on to a favorite board... [cool one where all the real !!men!! hang out.] ENTER PASSWORD (OR 'NONE'): ~~~~~~~~~ [loosely translated "HEY SYSOP"] [INVALID PASSWORD, TRY AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND.......] ENTER PASSWORD (OR 'NONE'): ~~~~~~~ [loosely translated "244GEEK"] [screen clears and beeps!] ON-LINE: THE GEEK [for the 300 time today!] WELCOME, TODAY IS SUN AUG 5 1985 SORRY, NO MAIL FOR YOU TODAY [of course] [?=Menu] COMMAND: [here is the list of commands the geek does...] C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C ,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,1,S,Q,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C, C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,1,P,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,[message was 1 sector long] C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,C,OFFLATER,BYEBYE,HEY WHAT'S WRONG!!!???,FUCK YOU SYSOP, YOU'RE A FAG, [sysop breaks in] HEY, SYSOP..... YOU C00L PIRATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT'S UP?????????????? [Click] dial tone is heard! The GEEK has now learned something new! [hooooooraaay, whoopie, and there was much rejoicing !] Entry: [tap tap tap tap tap] [loosly translated as "HELP!"] [BREAK] SYSOP HERE... what's the matta son?? HEY C00L DUDE... GOT ANY NEW WAREZ TO TRADE????????????? yep, got THE HACKER'S UTILITY DISK... 422 sectors! what you got? ZORK 1!!!!!!!!! 139 SECTORS!!!!!!! well, maybe not... got anything else?? YEAH! I GOT A NEW GAME YESTERDAY!!!!!!!! BERZAP [fairly new that is!] 374 SECTORS............ well, I kinda do need that on account of I trashed my copy of it.. OK. You upload to drive 1 and d/l of drive 2.. (>l Current: S6 D1 V0 New: S6 D2 V0 [duh!] DISK VOLUME 254 *B 422 THE HACKER'S UTILITY<422> *B 021 DDD ][ 134 sectors free <24k> remaining (>s Send: THE HACKER' UTILITY<422> S <422> AE: successful transfer (>Hang up? YES!!!!! Goodbye...p [click] [2 DAYS LATER] Entry: [tap tap tap tap tap tap] GUESS WHO??? [BREAK] hey you little geek I know who this is! you are a geek and you know it! if you ever call again I will call the police. [the GEEK being stupid believes this!] Now just get off of my line.... go and help the world, hang yerself... you are a geek! [click, the GEEK hangs up scared shitless!] NEWSFLASH: THE GEEK DIES BY ELECTRICUTION FROM FAULTY [cheap] COMPUTER EQUIP- MENT! Thus endeth my story of the computer geek and his little freinds! WATCH out for 'em... they are everywhere.... the antidote for a geek is: [drum roll please] IGNORE HIM AND MAYBE HE'LL GO AWAY; IF HE DOESN'T, THEN YOU GO A SHOOT HIM IN THE FACE WITH A 12 GAUGE SHOTGUN! bye now! [The Data Disintegrator]