Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy,
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's largest prick!
So three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas,
Hooray for you one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your pulsie, or your cock;
You can wrap it up in ribbons,
You can slip it in your sock.
But don't take it out in public
Or they will stick you in the dark
And you won't come back.
                      -- Eric Idle