| Do's |
Don'ts |
| Pretend to be shocked at its extent and longevity |
Sabotage spying facilities |
| Demand it be reduced to a comfortable amount |
Stalk, threaten or harm officials, their families, homes, vehicles,
workplaces |
| Accept secrecy of "comfortable amount" |
Preach obsessively about excessive secrecy |
| Trust official spy justification |
Colbert-mock official spin |
| Be satisfied with least highly classified information |
Praise disclosure of most highly classified information |
| Condemn and ridicule spying |
Admit to spying at home, work, online |
| Apologize espionage excessively |
Schadenfreude spy failure excessively |
| Relish national security and spy reporting, fiction and non-fiction |
Rage against and engorge media complicity |
| Resign top secret spy job |
Tell top secrets beyond NDA-protected pension |
| Accept secrecy of national security expenditures |
Cheat taxation, hide wealth, smear officials, support enemies |
| Fret national security maniacally |
Advocate anarchy, raise black flag, slit throats |
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