THE PLUNGER MANIFESTO!
BY: DIzzIE Ó2000!

Our Name: 
Plunger Liberation Party (PLP)

Our Slogan: 
!LIBERATE THE PLUNGERS!

Our Main Idea: 
What is a plunger to you? If you are like the majority of the sheep you see a plunger as a mere tool, used on occasion to clean a clogged toilet. But a plunger is so much more! A friend, a listener, a sex partner, and so on. Plungers are constantly being abused and mistreated, they are deprived and malnourished! They are being kept dirty, behind smelly toilets, and are ignored unless you need to unclog a toilet, while they should be kept happy, and constantly talked to and treated with respect. Would you like a plunger to shove your head in a toilet full of week-old shit and rub you around in it, then dropping you and leaving you behind the toilet or under the sink until the next time the toilet is clogged? 

Brothers and Sisters! We must unite to liberate the plungers! We must help them, and they will help us! We must try to teach as many people as possible on how they and others constantly abuse plungers, we must fight against this horrible, unjust oppression! 
You must treat your plunger with high respect and kindness. Be nice to your plungers, constantly clean and rub them with moisturizer to keep them from cracking, keep your plungers in a nice, favorable environment. Make your plunger its very own home from a cardboard box, or something of this, or greater sort. Talk to your plunger, hear what it has to say! Make you plunger feel happy! Those who abuse their plungers, those who merely use them as plumbing tools, those who never talk or spend time with their plungers, those who keep them in hostile, dirty environments, like under the sink or near the toilet, and those who commit many other injustices to plungers must be made aware of their wrong doings! If they do not change their ways, then we, my Brothers and Sisters, must take direct action! We must march into their homes, and we must liberate the plungers that are being held in captivity there! Such offenders will be placed on an "X List" and they will be forbidden from ever having possession of a plunger again. If a person on the X List is found to be in possession of a plunger, then that person must be eliminated! We will take action, until this horrifying mistreatment of plungers has ended! We will fight to the death, and we will never surrender! We will storm the abusers' homes, we will liberate the abused plungers, and if the abusers' manage to obtain a new plunger then the abusers' will be killed! We shall sharpen the stick end of the plunger and we shall drive it through the evil heart of the plunger abuser! We will not stop, until all the plungers are free!

The plungers that have been liberated from abusers' homes will either be adopted by members of the PLP, or they will be put in special Plunger Charity Banks. Which are simply places where groups of plungers can live together in unison, freedom, and luxury! The PCBs will be able to house large numbers of plungers, and will be sponsored by members of the PLP and our supporters. Meanwhile, the homes of the "triple offenders" (those that have had their plungers taken away from them because of abusive actions and have obtained another plunger) will be incorporated as PCBs, to house plungers (with the triple offenders being dead). 
Once again my Brothers and Sisters I urge you to spread the word and to liberate as many plungers as you can! We will make this a better world for our dear friends, the plungers!
!LIBERATE THE PLUNGERS!

DISTRIBUTION: 
It is our hope that this Plunger Manifesto will reach all the people in the world. While that may seem impossible, we must concentrate on spreading it to as many people as possible. We urge you to make as many copies of this as possible and to distribute it freely, as information should always be free. Make banners and flyers, posters and paintings, all spreading the simple, yet powerful, message: !LIBERATE THE PLUNGERS! Put the posters up in as many places as you can, give out flyers and pamphlets with at least some of the biggest injustices against plungers listed. Make websites and send emails. Reach as many people as you can! Help spread the word and liberate the plungers! If you know another language other than English, we ask you to please translate this Plunger Manifesto into the other language(s) to help reach more people. You should also tell people to email xcon0@yahoo.com for more information. Thank you, Brothers and Sisters, fellow Plunger Liberators! 

email me for more information: xcon0@yahoo.com