A COMPLETE GUIDE FOR PEDOPHILES
BY: DIzzIE Ó2001

A Brief Introduction
All right, before I start getting the hate mail, the death threats, the angry letters from pissed off Christians and other dumbfucks, the subpoenas, etc…Let me just tell you motherfuckers that all information can be used in two ways: for example a phile on how to break into cars can be used by the robber to break into your car, or it can be used by you to make sure that your car is secure, kapish? And anyway, I write about whatever the fuck I want, so fuck you.
    This phile will describe various ways by which pedophiles can "please" themselves. Ideal jobs for the pedophile, ideal places to see nude kids, and so on….Enjoy, you twisted penguin, you:

Places To "See" Kids

*The Pool. Go to a local swimming pool on a hot summer day when the pool will be completely crowded. You are bound to see a bunch of little kids, many of whom will sometimes be nude, or at least getting a diaper change. If they're not nude then they might at least be wearing bathing suits that are too big or too revealing. If the swimming pool does not have one of those special kiddie pools and hence the kids are swimming in the normal pool and the parents are not paying attention, you can always "bump" into a kid or two, gently ramming them against the pool wall…The foam bubbles in the jacuzzi also provide a pleasant cover for your actions, sadly little kids are usually not allowed to go there. 

*The Beach. The conditions at the beach are almost the same as at the pool, so many of the same tactics apply. There are only a couple slight differences, those being that there are usually more nude kids at the beach (due to the fact that they usually get shitloads of sand in their swimsuits and start crying and interrupt mommy's acid trip). Also you can get a snorkel mask or swimming goggles so that you can see underwater, and then just swim under the kids so you can see their little feet and their….Then if you are feeling particularly frisky you can reach out and touch a child and then quickly swim far away. When the kid complains to a parent the mom or dad will probably just say that it was their imagination, or maybe a fish or some seaweed, they'll never suspect that it was some horny pedophile who's jacking off on the other side of the beach by now.  

*The Hospital. Get into the children's wing of the hospital, at some late time in the night when the kids are all sleeping, just laying there, so vulnerable…Of course, the kids are sick so you might not want to get too physical.

note: many pedophiles seem to consider that a playground is a good place to see kids. This is untrue because you will look strangely out of place there, due to the fact that there are less people there than at the beach and the parents will probably see everything.

Ideal Jobs For Pedophiles

*The Babysitter. This job seems almost too good to be true: you get to be alone with a little child for several hours!? The challenge is to be subtle, casually bumping into the kid every now and then. Or you can wait until the kid falls asleep, don't forget that you can put a mild sedative into his apple juice. 

*The Swimming Instructor. Get a job at the YMCA or some other organization that offers swimming lessons for your kids. You'll constantly get to hold the kids, molding them into proper swim positions, just don't make it look too obvious, as the parents will most likely be watching. 

*The Kindergarten Teacher. This is even better than the swimming instructor and the babysitter because you get to be alone with the kids for a long period of time, and there are lots of kids. Once again don't forget about the old "sedative in the apple juice" routine to make naptime extra long today. 

*A Doctor. Specifically, a doctor that delivers babies. [This is for those of you who are into the really young shit]. 

Well, that should be enough to get your "juices" flowing, parents: if you're worried about you kids then instead of trying to suppress and ban philes like this you should be using this information to protect yourselves and your children, and pedophiles: hurry up before the parents wise up!

Yet another controversial phile comes to an end, email me for more of my philes at: xcon0@yahoo.com