PYLINERS:
Monty Python Pith For Every Situation


Hello, I'd like an argument please.

Doug and Bob are metropolitan policemen with a difference.

One thing is for sure, the sheep is not a creature of the air.

Uh-oh, who's the little number with the nightie and the whip, eh?

Who-ho-ho!!  This is no Tupperware party!

"It's hot enough to boil a monkey's bum in here, your Majesty."

On second thought, let's not go to Camelot.  It is a silly place.

I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse!

Bring out your dead!

Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake.

I fart in your general direction!

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!

Constable Clitoris and I are from the hygiene squad.

Brother Maynard!  Bring out the Holy Hand Grenade!

Penguins don't come from NEXT DOOR!  They come from the Antarctic!

I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

I'm not supposed to go mad until 1896!

It's silly isn't it - our being so close to one another in the
soft toy department all those years, and never daring....

I'm sorry I had to bring the goat - he's not at all well.

Monsieur Sartre?  Etes-vous libre?

Now.....I eat the banana.

El llama es un quadrapedo.

The palindrome of Bolton would be Notlob!  It don't work!

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

When some great homicidal maniac comes after you with a basket
of loganberries don't come crying to me!

NO ONE expects the Spanish Inquisition!

And just what are the commercial possibilities of Ovine Aviation?

Stop!  This is getting too silly!

There's more to this redistribution of wealth business than meets the eye!

Is this the right room for an argument?

My claim is that I can burrow through an elephant.

And now - number one - the larch.  The larch.

Which of these three trees has Mr. Peterson hidden behind?

Have you come to arrange a holiday, or do you want a blow job?

I would like to see Cardinal Richlieu's impersonation of Petula Clarke.

You lived in a paper bag?  You were lucky.

Is this a five-minute argument or the full half-hour?

And now - two unsuccessful encyclopaedia salesmen.

I sentence you to be hung by the neck until you cheer up.

A spokesman for the parrots said he was very glad no parrots were involved.

Can Karl Marx bring something new into this game?

Coal mining's a very fine thing father - something you'll never understand.

And then even the police began to sit up and take notice.