Real 911 Calls, "BELIEVE" it or not!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1.  What is your emergency?
    Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown
            house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
    Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why?


Dispatcher: 9-1-1.  What is your emergency?
    Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham
            and cheese sandwich.
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
    Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen
            table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had
            taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
    Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and
            tired of it.


Dispatcher: 9-1-1.  Fire or emergency?
    Caller: Fire, I guess.
Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?
    Caller: I was wondering...does the Fire Dept. put snow chains on
            their trucks?
Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?
    Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains
            on my tires and...well...do you think the Fire Dept. could
            come over and help me?
Dispatcher: Help you what?
    Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!


Dispatcher: 9-1-1.  What is the nature of your emergency?
    Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an
            eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
    Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one.
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
    Caller: Honey, I may be old but I'm not stupid.


Dispatcher: 9-1-1.  What's the nature of your emergency?
    Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two
            minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
    Caller: No, you idiot!  This is her husband!


And the winner is..........

Dispatcher: 9-1-1.
    Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing.  I'm all out of breath.
            Darn...I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
    Caller: I'm at a pay phone.  North and Foster.  Damn...
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way.  Are you an asthmatic?
    Caller: No.
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble
            breathing?
    Caller: Running from the police.
.