ZEN TIPS                                                                                                                                          A Collection of Daily Meditations for Happiness and Fulfillment From the Zen Mama

By Betsy McKee Henry

ALSO BY BETSY McKEE HENRY

How To Be A Zen Mama

The Zen Mama’s Book of Quotes

Copyright 2012 © Betsy McKee Henry

www.zen-mama.com

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All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations in critical articles or reviews.

For information, contact: Zen Mama Publishing email: thezenmama@gmail.com

Cover Design by Betsy McKee Henry

Photo credits (used with permission)
Pages 15, 51, 58, 59 and author photo
©2012 John Henry
Pages 7, 9, 12, 16, 19, 24, 38, 40, 44, 49, 52, 56, 61, 64 ©2012 Shutter StockAll other photos ©2012 Betsy McKee Henry

This Book Is Dedicated To My Children:

Max, Charlie and Oliver You are my greatest teachers.

Thank you!

Table of Contents

Foreword

Letting Go

Positive Thought

Mindfulness

Gratitude

Trust

Compassion

Acknowledgements

Foreword

“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”                                                                    ~Zen Proverb

Are you ready to be a student? Are you open to changing the way you look at things? If so, then this book, Zen Tips, is for you!

Since writing How To Be A Zen Mama in 2009, I’ve been traveling on a path to become a more positive person. I don’t find myself as bothered by the day-to-day craziness. I find myself having gratitude for adversity and obstacles because I know they are shaping me for my next step. I’m appreciating more of the free things in life like humor and sunsets. I find myself feeling more compassion for people and doing random acts of kindness. I’ve learned to let go so I can love more and be happier. My hope is that I can pass this on to you as well.

I suggest that you start your day with this book. Imagine a hope, dream or future you want and turn to a page that will answer that thought. Or methodically read from the beginning to end. Maybe you can incorporate this with breathing and yoga and a cup of tea or coffee.

Things to keep in mind as you read the book:

1. First read with a “Beginner’s Mind”. In Zen Buddhism the “Beginner’s Mind” is someone who is open to possibilities and sees the world as obstacle free. Every- thing is possible for a beginner's mind.

2. Think of yourself as being on a path. “Tao” means “The path” in Chinese. Lao Tzu, whom I quote often, was the founder and first teacher of Taoism in about 640 BCE. The proper path in life, says Taoism, is one that works in harmony with reality, the essence of the natural universe. Taoists believe that life should be peaceful and filled with joy. We should recognize and trust our own Inner Nature, and not lose sight of it.

3. Put on the “life pause button”. Read a page and do some deep breathing each morning, be quiet and contemplate as you read.

4. Read each quote with a open, positive state of mind.

5. Remember, “What you’re seeking is seeking you.” ~Rumi. Be open and listen to your inner voice. Your gut feelings will send you down the right path.

I know that if you change the way you look at things, you will become a more positive person.

Sending you peace!

Betsy Henry

Littleton, Colorado                                                                                                                November, 2012

Letting Go of Negative Thoughts

Letting go is admitting to yourself that you no longer need to hold on to a problem that has been causing you pain in your life, whether it’s a person, a recurring thought, a job or a past event. Many people have a lot of emotions to let go. You may feel out of control. You may be having sleepless nights. You may find yourself judging others with your expectations of them. This is a lot of baggage to carry around with you. We need to let go of worry, doubt, fear, anger and other negative thoughts. Let go so you can be at peace.

Today I am making a decision to change. I will not judge the people around me.
I will let go of fear, doubt and expectations so I can fear less and love more.

Letting Go Of A Complicated Life

Every day we make life more complicated. Yet how do we make life less complicated and simpler? Our culture demands that we stay busy, at our jobs, as parents and even while we’re at home. Part of feeling busy is your perception of time. We all have a natural way of looking at time that is part of our basic personality. Do you take your time and go slowly through your day? Or, do you see the world as a busy place? Then it is! Some suggestions: Save the shopping trip for next time. Take the walk you promised yourself. Go out and sit in the sun or watch the sunset at least for a few minutes. If you can change the way you look at your day, maybe you can be less busy and feel like you have extra hours in your day.

Today I am going slowly.  I will be in nature.  I will find time to listen actively to my family.  Today I am breathing in and out slowly and thinking simple.

Letting Go Of Worry

There is so much to worry about in our fast paced culture. We worry about our children, about ourselves and where our society is heading. Worry is the bane of everyone. Worry often seems worse than it really is, especially at night. Worry casts a big shadow over the happiness in your life. So ask yourself this question: Can you solve your problem? Yes, then do it! If the answer is no, then let go of your worry. Nothing is worth that much worry. Learn to find balance over what you should worry about. Learn to trust that everything is unfolding as it should.

Today I trust. I am making worry a small part of my life. I let go of worry and trust that everything is unfolding as it should.

Letting Go Of Expectations

All through our lives we’ve been conditioned to expect. It’s our culture. People have expected a lot out of you. You expect a lot of the people in your life. When you let go of your expectations for yourself, you can find peace. Some people think that letting go of expectations means you’re giving up. You’re not giving up; you’re letting go of the attachment to the outcome. If you let go of these expectations, you can be happier with life. And, infinite possibilities open up for you.

Today I am letting go of my expectations for myself. Today I just am.

Letting Go Of Envy

Envy is a craving for something that someone else has, whether it’s a material object or an emotional one. Often you look at others and assume that they have better lives. It may be what someone imagines as a better relationship or successful children. Envy can eat you from the inside. Comparison rids you of all confidence. It can turn into resentment or worse. It is often imagined since everyone has their own strengths and weakness. Rather than com- pare, look to your own life and realize that the grass is very green right in front of you. Just keep it watered!

Today I am feeling gratitude for the people in my life. Today I am glad I am alive, that I live in nature. Today I appreciate what I eat. Today I am counting my own blessings.

Letting Go Of Control

We often worry because we’re craving control over life. Fear is often caused by lack of control and not knowing what the future will bring. Lack of control can also lead to doubt. The need to control comes from attachment to a specific outcome. Yet, a lot of what we worry about and fear never happens anyway. You waste many precious moments spent in worry. Ask yourself, “Is this something I can control?” If the answer is yes, then do something about it. If the answer is no, then stop worrying.

Today I am letting go of fear and doubt. I am letting go of what I cannot control. In doing this I will feel relief and happiness. Everything is happening as it should.

Finding Your Passion

Too often our culture places emphasis on success, money and material success, or external goals. However studies show that true happiness comes from the more intrinsic goals that give us personal and spiritual growth. When you work at something you love, you find yourself in flow. Being in flow, getting lost in what you do, will give you true happiness. If you are a material success yet are not doing what you love, true happiness may be elusive.

Today I am thinking about what makes me happy and contented. Today I am choosing an activity in which I can flow. I am confident that what makes me happy will lead to my success.

Surrender

Life's too short to always be swimming upstream and struggling with problems. That can be exhausting. Going with the flow, like a river going downstream, means you can let go of control and change your reaction. Let go of whatever blame you feel. As you flow down the river, you go around your problems like the water goes around rocks. You gain some perspective as you let go, just as the scenes change on the banks of the river. You might even enjoy yourself, enjoy the flow and the relief of surrendering.

Today I will go with the flow and not swim upstream. Today I surrender.

Letting Go Of Anger

Anger is a form of suffering because the angry individual suffers as well as his or her victims. The word anger itself comes from the Latin term “to strangle”. Anger is like a poison. Patience is the most important antidote for anger. We all have ways to access patience. For some it’s counting to 100. For others, it’s leaving the situation for a moment. To feel anger is to be human. Nobody is perfect. Take some time out. You will find yourself a little happier if you wait a short time to say something that you might regret later.

Today I am taking a moment to let go of anger before I say something I regret. Today I will let my anger turn to patience.

Thoughts Create Your World

The old expression, “Is your glass 1/2 full or 1/2 empty”, is used a lot because it is so true. Do you embrace life? Do you anticipate happiness and successful outcomes? Or do you find yourself expecting the worst and then are surprised when it happens. If you believe that what the mind thinks is often what hap- pens, then you should replace your negative thinking habits with positive thoughts. People like to be around a positive person. This will affect your future and become your life.

Today I am aware that what I think is how I see my world.  My positive thoughts create my world.

Embrace Adversity

Adversity is often seen as something negative in your life. When life is easy, it’s easy to be positive. When tough times are forced upon us it can be a defining moment. While adversity may be unavoidable, suffering is your choice. It’s often the loss of control that is the most depressing. We are stronger than we think. Positive thinkers change negative problems into positive opportunities.

Today I am embracing any adversity in my life. Today I will surf the waves of negativity and see how it is getting me to where I’m going next.

Choose A Good Day

You have a choice today. Will you see the world as a hostile place or a friendly one? Each morning is a gift. Today you can be like the toy we played with as children, a viewfinder. When you’ve had enough of critical and doubtful thinking...especially self-doubt, there is nothing better than clicking the view finder...advancing to the next picture...finding your next view! Look, without attachment, and go on to the next picture...It’s easy, it’s fun and it’s good for you!

Today I am creating my own good day and the future. It’s up to me to change it from a bad day to a good one.

Positive Attitudes Are Contagious

Have you ever had a day when you just felt like whistling? Everything is going your way. It’s beautiful outside. Traffic doesn’t bother you. It’s not just your lucky day; every day is lucky. This kind of attitude is contagious. People want to be around smiles, laughing and a positive attitude. People want to be around a per- son who sees two sides to every story and is an optimist. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone. Negative thinkers are left alone to brood. Positive people attract the same back into their life. Is your attitude worth catching?

Today I will bring my positive thinking to others and know my thinking is contagious.

Possibilities

Many of us have heard the saying that within every acorn is an opportunity to become a great oak tree. I believe that this is true. That within every crisis is an opportunity to become your greatest self. Adversity is a gift. It helps you to appreciate what’s good and important in your life. Maybe you have a lot of responsibility in your life. Are you going to let those responsibilities limit your possibilities? The possibilities that you make for yourself come from your beliefs. You can have it all! It’s time to stop seeing the world as a limiting place. Instead see the world as a place of possibilities.

Today I am seeing possibilities where I once saw problems. I am going to see this day as a day of possibilities.

I AM

“I am” affirmations are powerful. “I am” is a positive visualization. You say the affirmation even if it’s the opposite of what you’re thinking. The visualization enters your consciousness and then your subconscious takes charge and transforms you. Your brain believes whatever you tell it! Try one of these or make up one of your own:

I am calm. I am success. I am prosperity. I am stress free. I am debt free. I am organized. I am healthy. I am filled with energy. I am living my dream.

You write the next “I AM” statement that fits you!

Today I am watching my thoughts through positive affirmations and affecting my destiny.

Replace Your Negative Thoughts

Negative thoughts can be like a disease infecting you. Negative thoughts are the chatter in your head in the middle of the night or when you’re feeling anxious. Buddhists call that chatter in your head “Monkey Mind”. To appreciate and understand positive thoughts, you often have to have the negative ones first. Thinking positively takes practice. Just as negative thoughts can become habits, these positive practices can become habits. Acknowledge your negative thought. Then say, “I am letting that thought go”. Then change that thought to a positive one.

Today I am letting go of any negative thoughts and replacing them with positive thoughts. This is my new habit.

Authentic Happiness

Joy and happiness are a choice. A do-it-yourself project. Happiness is often thought of as exciting yet elusive. For many, happiness is a burst of joy you feel that doesn’t last long. Material things, romantic love and accomplishments can give you that fleeting joy. Money can bring fleeting happiness, too. For me, true happiness comes from peace of mind, inner joy, contentedness, gratitude, compassion and kindness. This kind of happiness can come from helping others, following a true passion and being with people that love you unconditionally. Focusing on simple pleasures, enjoying the outdoors, spending time with loved ones or a pet, reading a book can also bring this long term happiness. You know just what brings you inner peace and contentedness.

Today I am catching happiness by doing something I love.  I am taking a moment for myself.

The Joy of a Smile

I have always been a big fan of smiling. I even made up a “Smile Theory” long before I’d ever thought of having kids or being a Zen Mama. While I was in high school I thought that when your brain is happy, you smile. I figured that the reverse must be true then, too. If you're unhappy or depressed and you smile, then you should make your brain happy. The research supports this. Try a Duchenne smile - turn up the corners of your mouth, show your teeth and crinkle your eyes. Do this for 18 seconds as you say today’s meditation. Try a good, hearty laugh, real or fake. You will be telling your brain to be happy.

Today I will smile no matter how I feel and tell my brain to be happy.

Breathe

To start being mindful, we must first be mindful of our breath. Breathing is something we do unconsciously and shallowly. We don’t get enough oxygen to our brain and all our body parts. We should be more conscious. To start being conscious you must first notice your breath. Next breathe deeply through your nose, deep into your belly and count in your mind, “One”. Then, let your breath flow out naturally, go with it’s natural rhythm through your mouth. Continue from number 1 to 100. If your mind wanders (which it will), simply come back to your count and continue. You may never reach 100 but you will have breathed deeply and consciously.

Today I am breathing deeply and consciously. I am paying close attention to my breath.

The Little Things

Do you appreciate the simple things in life? Maybe your life is so crazy that you find yourself forgetting what the little things are? Sometimes being away from something you love or having it taken away, can make you appreciate it more. Take time to talk to your loved ones and appreciate the place you live. Spend time in a garden. Hug your child a little longer than usual. Pick up the phone and make that call you keep putting off. Love the laundry and dishes. Don’t wait for something bad to happen to appreciate the simple things in life.

Today I am observing what the simple things are in my life. I will take time to appreciate them and feel gratitude.

Embrace Others

It’s easy to be busy and not pay attention to our loved ones. If you stop for a moment and actively listen, the people in your life will bloom. Give subtle compliments. Remember your last conversation and ask questions. Let go of the normal expectations while you talk with them. Don’t be angry or nagging. Mindfulness does not react to what it sees.  It looks and observes. The people you know may not be in your daily life forever, whether it’s off to college, a new job or something more permanent.

Today I am giving my full attention to all the people in my life. I will look them in the eye, put away the cell phone and computer and concentrate on them.

Eat Mindfully

We often eat without thinking. We wolf down our food quickly because we’re hungry. The faster you eat the more you eat and the less you taste. Instead, breathe in the smells. Really taste your food as you eat today. Look for beauty in the food and feel gratitude. Set your silverware down between bites. Mindfulness uses the 5 senses. Touch, look and smell first. Then taste and chew slowly. You’ll find you enjoy your food more and its flavor. Mindfulness while eating is paying attention to your food and your senses.

Today I am eating mindfully. Today I will put down my spoon between bites. I will chew slowly. I will only eat if I am hungry. I will taste each bite.

Small Steps

Do you feel your life is out of control? Sometimes if you start with the little things, everything else will fall into place. If you need to un-clutter your life, start with baby steps. Don’t go to the store every day. Don’t try to do everything on your list. Just pick a few to totally finish. Get up early. Go to bed early. Try to simplify. As Lao Tzu says, “The journey of a thou- sand miles beings with a single step.”

Today I am getting up early, enjoying the sun- shine and my coffee. I will do the dishes and a quick tidy up. I will choose just a few small things to do. My life is simple today.

Kindness

Sometimes we judge others against our standards. We immediately jump to conclusions. And, we for- get that everyone out there is fighting some kind of battle. So today, let go of the normal expectations while you talk with others. Let go of “perfect”. Expectations come from wanting to fit in. Remember, mindfulness does not react to what it sees. It looks and observes. Be kind and don’t judge the people you know or the people you don’t know. And, if you have the choice between being judgmental and being kind, choose kindness.

Today I am not judging those around me. Today I choose to be kind.

Nature

Our culture is in such a hurry. Slow down today and spend a moment outside. Too many people are staying indoors. It’s time to get outside and get your children outside. Go for slow, mindful walks. Sit in the sun. Find beauty in the spider webs. Try to get out every night for a few minutes during sunset. Enjoy the snow and cold, even if you don’t normally like winter. Look at the petals on the flowers, admire a spider web, and don’t tell yourself how much work there is to do in the garden. Go out into nature, be slow, don’t look at the clock. Really see everything.

Today I am spending time in nature. I am moving slowly, observing without judgment.

See Everything

We often go through life without really seeing. Imagine you have a camera and you’re seeing every little thing through the lens. Imagine how beautiful a leaf looks up close. Look up close at a piece of granite with the different colored rocks inside. Observe the sun coming through windows and making shadows.

In the second part of this quote, you must imagine seeing things for the last time. Imagine the emotion if you knew you’d never again see a red leaf. If you knew this was your last day on Earth, wouldn’t every- thing change and be miraculous?

Today I am seeing everything as if for the first or last time. I am appreciating being alive.

Live In the Moment

Have you ever been somewhere else in your mind when you should be right where you are? Have you ever started driving and then ended up at your destination but don’t remember much about the trip? Maybe you’re thinking about shopping while you should be listening to your child. Don’t be on automatic pilot! Follow this Swedish Proverb so you can live more in the moment.

Today I will go slowly. I will be aware and present during my day as I drive, work and interact with people.  All good things will be mine.

Be Grateful to People

We are often thankful during holiday times to the people in our lives. But are you grateful on an every day basis? We often take our family and friends for granted. We especially take for granted the people we don’t know. Do you know the name of the garbage man, the mailman or other people who do you a service? A smile, a thank you or a kind word will acknowledge your gratitude today. One simple action can change someone’s day and maybe even their life.

Today I am grateful to the people in my life. I will feel gratitude for my family and appreciate the people behind the scenes who make my life easier.

Your Short Time On Earth

If you imagine life as an old woman or man, you would understand so much. You would know the reason bad things happened to you. You would understand what you really wanted out of life. Imagine it’s your last day on earth. What do you want your memories to be? With whom did you spend time? No one knows how long their time is here on earth. Live your life now. When are you going to live each day to the fullest? When will you finally get your “dream job”? When will you find time for your family? How about starting now?

Today I will not wait until something happens, like an accident or disease, to fully appreciate my life. I will not wait at all. Today I am starting to live my life to the fullest.

Abundance

Negative thoughts often indicate that something is lacking in your life. “I am missing ______ in my life.” Or, “I won’t have any abundance until I make more money.” Or, it could be lack of love or recognition. Do you think of yourself as having a good life? What is your definition of abundance? If it’s about material things, you need to change your way of thinking to acknowledge that you have much good in your life rather than the opposite. Count your blessings. When you acknowledge the abundance, you’ll see that you had it all along! The more gratitude you have for that abundance in your life, the more you will attract your way.

Today I am abundant.  I have everything I need and more. I have a good life.

Gratitude For Nature

The older I get the more gratitude I have for the outdoors. Nature is soothing to the mind and body. Being in nature reduces stress. Exercise gets the creative juices going. Native Americans and other indigenous people were always thankful to the Earth and the animals that live here. Let your breath be taken away by the beauty you find in nature.

Today I am seeing the beauty of nature like flowers, sunsets, earthworms, snow and the full moon. I thank the Earth for the seasons, the rain, the wind and the clouds. I thank the sun for always being there.  I am grateful to be part of this living planet.

Health + Contentment = Confidence

What three things could be better? What could bring more happiness in life than health, contentment and confidence. All three are necessary for a vital, long life. Sometimes you don’t appreciate your health until its gone. Don’t wait until you, or a loved one, gets sick to appreciate the importance of health! Contentment is true happiness. And, confidence will get you through tough times in your life. Start having gratitude for all three now.

Today I am grateful for my health.  I am glad to be content with my life and know that nothing is lacking. My confidence will see me through the best and the toughest times.

Adversity

There is always adversity in nature. Volcanoes, tornadoes, hurricanes and forest fires are examples of extreme adversity that often clears everything out. Yet nature comes back, often better off than it was before the disaster. The weak links are destroyed and the forest or garden is stronger. This summer I was amazed to see how soon my plants began to recover after being demolished by a major hail storm. Nature adapts, improves and is stronger after adversity. You can be, too.

Today I am grateful to all the adversity in my life. I will say, “Thank you ________ for entering my life. You’ve given me an opportunity to grow and I’m very thankful.”

Affection For You

Why is it that being grateful for ourselves and giving ourselves affection is so difficult? Why is it that we are always hardest on ourselves? I hear people say, “I don’t like how I look in pictures.” “I wish I was different.” “I am so sorry that I’m bothering you.” So many people apologize all the time when it’s completely unnecessary! When you feel inferior about yourself, you will give others permission to treat you in the same way. You deserve your own affection and that of others.

Today I will have gratitude for myself. I love myself exactly as I am. Others have respect for me because I deserve respect myself.

Nothing Is Lacking

For me the definition of authentic happiness and peace of mind is contentedness. Not the crazy joy we some- times feel or the feeling romantic love gives, but contentedness. A warm blanket in winter; delicious soup, a cold shower; a tidy, pretty vegetable garden; a really good book; a hug and kiss; planning a trip; coffee with a friend. All these activities give me a feeling of contentedness and peace. Do I feel any lack on a day like that? Not a bit. In fact, the whole world belongs to me. What makes you feel content?

Today I am content.  I have everything I need. Nothing is lacking.

Everything Is A Miracle

Did you know there is scientific evidence that gratitude can increase happiness by about 25%? In the book, Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make Your Happier, scientist, Dr. Robert Emmons, writes of gratitude. Research shows that practicing gratitude helps you to bounce back from adversity, be more creative, have stronger immune systems and healthier relationships. Wow! What a miracle! Wouldn’t Albert Einstein have been impressed with that science?

Today I am choosing to see everything in life as a miracle. I will see miracles in my own life in return.

Time For Change

You are ready to change your life! I like Byron Katie’s four questions to help you attack each problem and see it differently.

1. Is it true?

2.  Can I absolutely know that it’s true?

3.   How do I react when I think that thought?

4.  Who would I be without that thought?

Yes, “Life isn’t fair”. But you can’t wait for a person or an event to change before life gets fair. Maybe, just maybe, if you change your thinking, then your life will begin to get better, little by little. You can’t wait for life to change first. You have to be the change you want to have in your life. It’s your thinking that causes your suffering, not the problem.

Today I am changing the way I think. Because when I change the way I look at things, the things I look at change.

Unfolding Perfectly

Do you believe that everything is unfolding as it should? It’s easy to accept that everything is happening as it should with the good times. It’s difficult to accept that everything is happening as it should with the bad. As we get older, we can look back and see why certain events happened and why certain obstacles were put in our way. The challenge is to accept that we will understand “the why” someday. Does that mean you do nothing, sit back and let life happen to you? No, it means embracing the challenges rather than finding yourself feeling depressed, angry or sad.

Today I am letting the universe unfold as it should. I am embracing my challenges with a positive attitude.

Opportunity For A Change

Life is filled with change. Change isn’t always what we want. Life is also filled with opportunities. Change refreshes and stimulates our lives. Have you ever heard the saying, “Without change there would be no butter- flies”? However, sometimes we are so attached to the past, even when it isn’t all that great, that we fail to see the new opportunity sitting right in front of us. So we focus all our attention on the closed door. Remember that there are an unlimited number of doors out there. Maybe the next door is a better one! Just take a walk down a different street. You might surprise yourself!

Today I am letting my old door stay closed. I am open to all the possibilities behind the new door.

Trust The Universe

This quote is from a book called, The Alchemist. It's a fable about a young man who dreams of treasure and goes on a journey to find it, only to realize it was there all along. In many ways this quote describes the law of attraction. The law of at- traction is based on the thought that “like attracts like”. There is no scientific evidence that this works. But I have seen it work time and again in my life and the lives of others. The mind, like a magnet, can attract what it wants, positive or negative. If we send out anger, frustration and jealousy for instance, that is what we attract into our life. If you are happy, optimistic and calm, that is what you will attract into your life. The universe has an abundance of good to bring into your life. It is up to you to receive it by your positive thoughts.

Today I will train my mind to be calm, positive and optimistic.  I am attracting good things into my life.

Go For It “With Beginner’s Mind”

As adults we are taught to live a safe life. Have a job with a good salary. Get a house. Have a family. And yes, these are all good things. However many adults find themselves unsatisfied with how life turned out. Where are the dreams, the adventure and the optimism with which you started the adult journey? Zen Buddhists called this optimism the “Beginner’s Mind”. The Beginner’s Mind is innocence, emptiness, and simplicity. The opposite of Beginner’s Mind is the “Expert’s Mind”. The Expert’s Mind knows too much, is set in its ways, is fearful, unexcited and wants to play it safe. Try this exercise: If time was running out, what would you do differently?

Today I am imaging that time is running out. I am regaining my “Beginner’s Mind” and start living my dreams.

You’re The Author Of Your Own Life

You are the sum of what you have done up until now in your life...your good deeds, adversity, relationships, education, travel and jobs you have had. You may think you had no control over who you are. But that’s not quite right. You are the author of your life. What character are you? Are you the leading man? The best friend? The villain or the Super Hero? Maybe you’re just the understudy watching the show and waiting for your big chance. Think about what you would like to be and write that part for yourself. You may be just acting at first but as time goes on, your part in life’s play will become your reality.

Today I am deciding who I want to be in the future. Today I will start to become that person.

Paddle Forward

Think of yourself as a boat on the sea. You might be dependent on the sailors of the boat to get you where you need to be. But when you control the boat, the sails or the paddle of the canoe, you control your own destiny! You can’t sit back and let life happen to you. You get to move yourself through life. Be brave and strong and never look back. Move forward through wind, rain and sunshine. The canoe is a perfect metaphor for going through life! We need to put our past be- hind us and move forward regardless of what life throws our way. Learn to be self-sufficient. Then you’ll be okay if you ever find yourself on your own. We face life when we paddle our own canoe.

Today I am paddling my own canoe by letting go of the past and moving forward. No one can do that but me.

No Regrets

“Coulda, woulda, shoulda.” It was a phrase I heard growing up. Recently I saw this quote, “Coulda, woulda, shoulda, did!” You don’t want to look back someday at what could have been. It’s kind of like asking yourself the question, if you were at the end of your life what would you like people to say about you? If you are 50 now and you’re going to live to 80, you only have 30 more years. What will you do with that time? You can’t live life in reverse. You don’t know if you’ll live a long life. You need to TRUST that everything is happening or not happening the way it’s supposed to. You need to start doing what you want to do with the rest of your life!

Today I will live as if it were my last day because someday I will be right!

The Center Of Your Being

We all have an inner voice at the center of our being. Some call it a gut feeling, others the soul, common sense, the heart or maybe it’s the universe or God speaking to you. It’s as if two people live inside us. There’s the one with the ego; that’s the one with the successes and the failures. The inner voice, the timeless part, follows intuition and knows. It’s where wisdom and knowledge live. It’s where dreams live. The inner voice is faith and inspiration. The inner voice knows there are no coincidences. If I follow that voice, life seems to go seamlessly. To reach that inner voice, one must find time to be still, whether by meditation or walks in nature. To reach that inner voice we must let go of the opinions of others. You have your own way to contact this voice. You know the way to connect.

Today I am connecting to my inner voice.  I will find silence and journey within.

A Clean Slate

Wow! Every day I get to start over. My life is a clean slate. I have 24 brand new hours. I choose how my life will unfold. You have this choice each day. All of us can get into a rut in life. But you’re never stuck in that rut. Each day you have the chance to pull yourself out. As you do that, realize that not everyone around you is able to get out of their rut. As Plato wrote, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” It’s easy to judge and pity those around us. Real compassion is not pity. Pity contains judgment. Real compassion is to feel empathy without judgment. Maybe your smile or holding the door open for someone will help them to get a little bit out of their rut. It’s never too late. Each day you have a choice to see the world and its inhabitants in a different way.

Today I am looking at everyone I meet and realizing that they are going through something, too. While I don’t know what it is, I will feel compassion without judgment.

The Three Treasures

Lao Tzu, the ancient Chinese Tao philosopher, sums up a calm, purposeful life in three words: simplicity, patience and compassion.

Simplicity makes life easier and less stressful. The opposite of simplicity is complicated. Many of us live very complicated lives that bring anxiety into our world. As Leonardo da Vinci says, “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” Patience makes life so much more calm. Patience can keep you from anger, frustration and worry. It’s keeping a good attitude while you wait for a conclusion. Compassion connects us to the people in our life and even people we don’t know. It’s empathy without judgment. It’s the cornerstone of love.

Today I am beginning to add the three greatest treasures into my life: simplicity, patience and compassion. I am making my life and the world a better place.

The Future

Do you ever think about what life, our families and society would be like if you were no longer here? You actually affect the future in so many ways. Giving of your time or money can affect the future. If, you are raising children, you are actually raising your great grandchildren that you will never meet. If you have a service job like a fireman or a teacher, you may not ever know how, but you definitely affect the future. And your act doesn’t have to be something big. Sometimes it’s something small, a kind word or a smile. Your kindness can be like a ripple starting with the present and heading towards the future.

Today I am affecting the future.  I accept this responsibility with pleasure.

Light A Path

Once my son was heading off to camp and I had to write a letter for him to read in case he felt homesick. I had to write something to make him feel better. I wrote that he should find someone sadder than he, and make that camper happier. By doing that he would make himself happier, too. You may not realize it but every time you help others, you make your own life more meaningful. Helping others fills your life with purpose. When you help others, you are helping yourself. We are all on this planet together and are all interconnected. True compassion has it’s own reward.

Today I am lifting up another’s spirit and in doing so am lifting up my own.

The Golden Rule

The Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”, is a personal ethic of reciprocity and is present in almost all organized religions.

Islam: “No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself.”
Judaism: “What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellowman.” Hinduism: “This is the sum of duty; do naught onto others what you would not have them do unto you.”

Buddhism: “Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.”

Today I am following the Golden Rule. Today I will open the door for someone.  I will smile at a stranger. I will treat others as I wish to be treated. And I realize that this creed is present among all cultures and religions.

Kindness For All

This man we met at a California beach was giving away his precious gift of abalone shells. Kindness doesn’t have to cost anything. Kindness can be given to those you know with a compliment, a smile, a chore done for some- one, a meal or just a listening ear.

Kindness creates community and all human beings need to be part of a community to be truly happy. People who are part of a community are healthier and live longer, too.

Today I am spreading kindness to all I meet. I am part of my local community.  I am also part of the community called Earth.

Be The Change

Can one person or a small group really change the world? Here are some of the individuals, who had a dedicated small group working along side them, who come to my mind: Gandhi, Rachel Carson, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, Oskar Schindler, Joan of Arc, the Dalai Lama, and Nelson Mandala. I’ll never forget Mrs. Tuhy, my dance/choir teacher from middle school. She saw something in me and lit a spark that has never left me. Yes, every day quiet individuals and small groups are changing the world through their small acts of kindness and their vision for a more peaceful world. There are heroes everywhere, every day, changing the world.

Today I am, in my own small way, changing the world. I will look to others who have changed the world for inspiration and silently thank them for what they have accomplished.

The Ripple Effect

We’ve all done it. Kids just love it! How fun it is to throw a rock in the middle of a pond. Sometimes you make a big splash. Other times the rock enters quietly into the water. There is a middle where the circle is perfect. Then the tiny, perfect ripples go out from there. Soon, the ripples are far re- moved from the original entry point. The rock has settled to the bottom of the pond. Kindness is like that. Some people make a big splash when they give kindness. Others do it quietly without any expectation of thanks. Just doing an act of kindness is thanks enough. It offers the giver a sense of peace.

Today I am doing as many small acts of kindness as I can without expectation of thanks. I may never know how far my ripples spread, but just knowing they can spread, gives me peace.

Practice Compassion

The real key to true contentment and happiness is helping and loving others. That is unconditional love. What is unconditional love? Just that, love without conditions. Unconditional love is letting go of the expectations, tolerating mistakes, being there for conversations, and appreciating differences. The people in your life will flourish with unconditional love. Give unconditional love to people you don’t know. Just send out thoughts of love as you pass someone by in a store. It may sound crazy, but it works. And the amazing thing, as you give out unconditional love, it will come back to you, ten fold!

Today I will love everyone with whom I come into contact. I will send out feelings of love and compassion, and receive it in return.  I will know true happiness today.

This is your new beginning and your opportunity to bring peace to yourself and into the world.

Acknowledgments

To My Parents:
As Randy Pausch, writer of The Last Lecture writes, “I won the parent lottery.” Thank you for always being there for me, encouraging, editing and loving everything I do!

To My Facebook Fans:
I was ecstatic very time I saw a “Like” or “Share” or “Comment” on one of these posters. These inspirational posters were originally designed for Face- book. Thank you for all the your encouragement and inspiration you've given me so I could give it back to you!

To My Blogging Buddies:
Thanks for your constant support and inspiration. It’s something I look forward to every day and it means so much to me.

And, the best for last, John:
There would be no books without you. You helped me so much by saying on that fateful trip to Boulder, “Just do it!” And I did! Your amazing photography, layout and sense of design can be seen throughout the book. You provide sup- port every day, but most importantly you give me unconditional love.

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

~Lao Tzu

Table of Contents

ALSO BY BETSY McKEE HENRY

Copyright

Dedication

Foreword

Letting Go of Negative Thoughts

Letting Go Of A Complicated Life

Letting Go Of Worry

Letting Go Of Expectations

Letting Go Of Envy

Letting Go Of Control

Finding Your Passion

Surrender

Letting Go Of Anger

Thoughts Create Your World

Embrace Adversity

Choose A Good Day

Positive Attitudes Are Contagious

Possibilities

I AM

Replace Your Negative Thoughts

Authentic Happiness

The Joy of a Smile

Breathe

The Little Things

Embrace Others

Eat Mindfully

Small Steps

Kindness

Nature

See Everything

Live In the Moment

Be Grateful to People

Your Short Time On Earth

Abundance

Gratitude For Nature

Health + Contentment = Confidence

Adversity

Affection For You

Nothing Is Lacking

Everything Is A Miracle

Time For Change

Unfolding Perfectly

Opportunity For A Change

Trust The Universe

Go For It “With Beginner’s Mind”

You’re The Author Of Your Own Life

Paddle Forward

No Regrets

The Center Of Your Being

A Clean Slate

The Three Treasures

The Future

Light A Path

The Golden Rule

Kindness For All

Be The Change

The Ripple Effect

Practice Compassion

Acknowledgments