DEMONSTRATION OF RUNNING DOWN A CHAIN

A lecture given on 31 August 1950

The tape recording of this lecture has not been found. A transcript has been located and is reproduced here. Without the recording we have not been able to verify the accuracy of the transcript. All of LRH’s comments projected to the audience are set in parenthises.

Handling Control Circuits

Here is an interesting gadget. It projects what a person writes up on the screen after he writes on the little table. I know that when one audits a person as a demonstration, if he has a method of conveying information to the audience without the person who is being audited seeing that information, the student can learn a lot more a lot faster, and will be able to integrate more of the information received in Dianetics.

LRH:
All right. I am going to try and give you a straight test. I am sure an inventory has been run on your case?
PC:
No.
LRH:
No inventory?
PC:
No inventory.
LRH:
Have you ever lain down on a couch before?
PC:
Yes, almost 90 hours.
LRH:
Okay, that’s fme. Are you almost clear?
PC:
No.
LRH:
What is the matter?
PC:
Nothing, except that I hare got a lot of aberrations.
LRH:
Have you ever run an engram?
PC:
Oh, yes.
LRH:
Lots of them?
PC:
Yes.
LRH:
In basic area?
PC:
Yes.
LRH:
Ever get one off with yawns?
PC:
Yes.
LRH:
How’s your sonic?
PC:
I don’t have any. I have word . . . Impressions.
LRH:
Who said you were like your mother?
PC:
Oh, I have been told I was like my mother and my father.
LRH:
Anyone ever tell you you were yourself?
PC:
Yes, they said I ought to be like myself— ought to be myself, rather....
LRH:
"You ought to be yourself," implying that you weren’t being yourself? Did your father and mother ever quarrel and say one was like the other’s parents? PC: No, my father and mother were separated.
LRH:
Is that grief charge off?
PC:
Some of it.
LRH:
Who’s dead?
PC:
Well, I have had grief charges on death.
LRH:
How about any pets?
PC:
Please don’t put me in my dog’s valence.
LRH:
Okay. The charge is off it, isn’t it?
PC:
No.
LRH:
Not off the dog?
PC:
No, because I am still very fond of my dog. I mean by that, I could still do a bit of weeping over my dog.
LRH:
Was he a nice dog?
PC:
Why, sure. Wonderful little dog.
LRH:
How old were you when he died?
PC:
40years old.
LRH:
Okay. Where were you when the dog died?
PC:
I was in Mexico.
LRH:
Dog killed in Mexico?
PC:
No. The dog was put to sleep while I was gone.
LRH:
Okay. Who told you about the dog?
PC:
Don’t talk about the dog now.
LRH:
Why not?
PC:
It wouldn’t be a very good demonstration if I start bawling. You have never seen me bawl.
LRH:
Who told you to be ashamed if you cried?
PC:
Oh, my father and other people.
LRH:
Did you like your father better than your mother?
PC:
No, I liked them both equally. My father’s not living. I have got my father’s death, too.
LRH:
Shut your eyes.
PC:
Okay.
LRH:
Who told you your father was dead?
PC:
Oh, my sister, after I came out of the hospital.
LRH:
After you came out of the hospital?
PC:
Yes.
LRH:
Were you feeling well when this happened?
PC:
Oh, pretty well. I had had an operation and pneumonia, but I was feeling pretty well.
LRH:
Where are you when she tells you?
PC:
I am in the apartment, and my sister is standing here by me. Do you want me to describe it? She’s wearing a red and white checked sort of house dress with a ruffle around— no sleeves, just a sort of ruffle thing. I can see her very clearly. She looks quite a bit like me, so I suppose I’m in her valence part of the time. But at any rate, I am very thin and pretty weak after the operation and pneumonia, so my sister apparently has receded a telegram which I don’t see for some reason or other. I don’t believe that she has it now. It’s been received while I was in the hospital and kept from me. My sister is telling me, she says, "I have some bad news for you, "and she doesn’t seem to think that I am going to feel too much about it. As a matter of fact, they all feel at this particular period in my life that I don’t feel anything about people, which isn’t very true. But I try to cover it up. So, she says, "Dad has died." I feel pretty shocked about it. I say, "Yes? What did he die of?" And she says, "Cancer of the stomach. "I feel pretty shocked, so I go to my bedroom and cry. When anything happens I cry. Crying is my safety value. Always keeps me safe when these things happen. But, at any rate, it helped and so I go to my bedroom and cry some. I think of my father, and I think of the difficulty he has had with life and the problems he has had, and I feel very sorry for him. And although there have been many numbers of times when I have felt let down a great deal, nevertheless I don’t hold any rancor because I realize that life’s been a little bit rugged for him, so I think of these things and I sit on the bed....
LRH:
(Charge is right on top. Somebody has scolded her about crying. Notice how defensive she is about it.)
PC:
I am exteriorizing a little bit about this.
LRH:
Well, how do you feel about this now, as you are sitting there? Who’s with you? Anybody with you? You have just walked out of the room.
PC:
No, I don’t like to especially cry in front of other people, because that’s dragging my trouble on their heads. It makes them feel bad, too. There’s no reason why we should all feel bad about it. So I try to be by myself, if I can, because I think that the other guy should be considered as well as myself, as much as possible. So, I am sitting on the edge of the bed. I don’t feel the least bit like crying, really, and at this moment I have cried a fair amount. But Father and I had had a breakdown in our relationship several years before.
LRH:
(All this justification about tears, a prenatal, probably.)
PC:
so I feel toward my father like I would toward a great big child. I feel sorry for him, and I am fond of him, but our relationship is very different than when I was a girl. I don’t know what else to say about it. What do you want me to say? I will say whateueryou want me to.
LRH:
(Note wiggling toes.) Is that statement there, "Whatever you want me to"?
PC:
Well, I mean I will give you any information I have.
LRH:
Let’s return to the moment when they are telling you that your father’s dead. How did they look?
PC:
Oh, my sister is the only one in the room. Let’s see. I’m coming out of the bedroom. I have been Iying down because I still feel pretty weak, and she says, "Rosemary, I have some bad news for you. Dad’s died."
LRH:
What did she say to you? .
PC:
She said, "Rosemary, Daddy’s died."
LRH:
Where are you standing when she says this?
PC:
I’m standing in the middle of the room.
LRH:
How did she look?
PC:
She looks a little indifferent.
LRH:
How do you look?
PC:
I feel like hell, probably.
LRH:
What did she say to you, again?
PC:
She says, "Rosemary, Daddy has died." "Oh! What did he die of ?" I don’t say that immediately, because I’m stunned.
LRH:
(Note the chest.)
PC:
And she says, "Cancer of the stomach."
LRH:
(It’s on a prenatal.)
PC:
But she says, "Well, don’t take it so hard. I didn’t think you’d feel anything about this." And I get quite annoyed and I say, "Why shouldn’t I feel anything about this? He is my father."
LRH:
(The back flinched. AA?)
PC:
And she looks rather pleased that I feel about this thing. I think she feels that way because she may hare thought I was cold, but I wasn’t, I had just learned to control myself.
LRH:
(Control is a family aberration.)
PC:
Because if you don’t, you get hurt.
LRH:
All right. Go over those phrases again.
PC:
If you don’t, you get hurt. "I see I hare laid myself wide open. "I hare learned to control myself, because if I don’t, I will get hurt."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
I hare to learn to control myself, because if I don’t, I will get hurt. I hare to learn to control myself, because if I don’t, I will get hurt."
LRH:
(The grief is held down by engrams.)
PC:
And these are thoughts. No one has ever said it just that way.
LRH:
All right. Let’s go over what they have said.
PC:
Rosemary, you have got to control yourself, you have got to learn to control yourself. You mustn’t do things like this in front of people. You mustn’t do things like this in front of people. You have got to learn to control yourself. You mustn’t do this in front of people. You mustn’t do this in front of people. You disgrace me. You mustn’t do this in front of people. You will disgrace me. You mustn’t cry in front of people. You will disgrace me. You should be quiet in front of people. Little girls should be seen and not heard."
LRH:
(Held down by a central engram. This demonstration restimulated her, source of exterior view.)
PC:
Little girls are to be seen and not heard. Little girls are to be seen and not heard. Little girls are to be seen and not heard, and not heard, and not heard, and not heard. "I don’t agree with her. I don’t agree with them at all. I think little girls are to be heard, too.
LRH:
So, who’s standing there?
PC:
It’s a woman I lived with . . .
LRH:
(Ally.)
PC:
when I was 12. Then somebody else says something.
LRH:
Who’s defending you when your mother’s telling you this?
PC:
Oh, nobody’s defending me.
LRH:
The file clerk will give us the first moment when the words "Learn to control yourself" appear in the case. The first moment that "Learn to control yourself" appears in the case. The somatic strip will sweep the engram. Contact it. What do you get there?
PC:
Joan, you have got to control yourself."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
"Joan, you hare got to control yourself. "That’s my mother. "Joan, you hare got to control yourself. You hare got to control yourself. You hare got to control yourself. You mustn’t be so upset. You mustn’t be so upset. You mustn’t be so upset. You mustn’t be so upset. You will be all right. You hare got to learn to control yourself. You mustn’t get so upset about things. You must learn to control yourself." That’s my grandmother speaking. I don’t hear her, but I know it’s my grandmother. "Joan, you hare got to learn to control yourself. You hare got to learn to control yourself. You hare got to learn to control yourself. You hare got to learn to control yourself. You mustn’t get so upset about things. You will be all right if you learn to control yourself and not be so upset. You are going to be all right. "Oh, my stomach. I don’t feel Very good. "Joan, you hare got to learn to control yourself. "Apparently, I am in my mother’s Valence. Let’s see if I can get in my own.
LRH:
Now, let’s just go over "leam to control yourself."
PC:
Joan, you hare got to learn to control yourself. You hare got to learn to control yourself. You mustn’t get so upset about things. You will be all right if you learn to control yourself. Now, calm down. That’s a good girl. Calm down, calm down. That’s a good girl. That’s a good girl. Calm down, you hare got to learn to control yourself. You mustn’t let it bother you You mustn’t let it bother you. You mustn’t let it bother you, dear. You must learn to control yourself and not let it upset you. That’s a good girl. Now, calm down."
LRH:
(Notice her take over? Suppressor "calm down," a grouper of several phrases.)
PC:
My mother’s pretty upset.
LRH:
All right. Let’s contact the beginning of the engram. Contact the beginning of the engram, the very beginning of the engram. Now when I count from one to five, the first words of the engram will flash into your mind. One- two- three- four- five.
PC:
Oh, God, I don’t know how I’m going to stand it."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
Oh, God, I don’t know how I’m going to stand it."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
Oh, God, I don’t know how I’m going to stand it."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
Oh, God, I don’t know how I’m going to stand it."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
Oh, God, I don’t know how I’m going to stand it." Ouch! Ouch!
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
Oh, God, I don’t know how I’m going to stand it."
LRH:
How old are you?
PC:
3.
LRH:
3 months?
PC:
3 months.
LRH:
Okay. Give me a yes or no. Does this type of engram appear earlier? Yes or no.
PC:
I don’t get a true flash there. Try again.
LRH:
All right, let’s go to the first time the phrase "Oh, God, I don’t know how I’m going to stand it" occurs. "Oh, God, I don’t know how I’m going to stand it."
PC:
Oh, God, I don’t know how I’m going to stand it. Oh, God, I don’t know"— ouch! I have got a pain in my foot. "Oh, God, I don’t know how I’m going to stand it."
LRH:
(We contacted it late on the chain; "stand" equals foot.)
PC:
Oh, God, I don’t know how I’m going to stand it."
LRH:
How old are you?
PC:
I am so sick
LRH:
All right, let’s go over it again.
PC:
I am so sick I am so sick I am so sick. "And, "Oh, God, I don’t know how I’m going to stand it. I am so sick. I am so sick."
LRH:
(Here comes unconsciousness off. Tone of voice lowered. Power down.)
PC:
Oh, God, I don’t know how I’m going to stand it. I feel so sick. I just feel shaky. I don’t know how I am going to stand it. I feel so sick."
LRH:
Next line.
PC:
I can t go on. I can’t go on. I can’t go on. "Shall I say what comes next? "I can’t go on having children year after year, year after year."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
I can t go on having children year after year, year after year. I am so sick. I can’t go on having children year after year. I feel so sick. I am so sick. "I guess my mother’s talking to herself. She’s had nine children, you know, already.
LRH:
All right. Let’s contact the beginning of this. The first moment of pain in this engram. The first moment of pain in this engram. (She flinches.) The first moment of pain, contact it. What words go with it? I will count from one to five, the words will flash into your mind.
PC:
I just can’t stand it."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
I just can’t stand it."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
I just can’t stand it."
LRH:
(She’s held later than 2 months prenatal.)
PC:
This is all a jumble of conversation. My mother’s just talking to herself and she . seems very unhappy. I think she’s retching a little, too. I seem to feel that. I can’t quite hear her but I seem to sense that she’s retching.
LRH:
(Partially held down.)
PC:
My stomach feels funny, and I feel buzzy all ouer.
LRH:
All right, let’s contact the beginning of this engram again. Contact the very beginning of it. The holder will flash into your mind when I count from one to five. One- two- three- four- five.
PC:
I have got to hold on to myself."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
I have got to hold on to myself."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
I have got to hold on to myself."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
I have got to hold on to myself. I have got to hold on to myself."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
I have got to hold on to myself for the children’s sake. I have got to hold on to myself for the children’s sake."
LRH:
Go on.
PC:
I have got to hold on to myself. I don’t like to hold on."
LRH:
Go on.
PC:
(starts crying) I have a Very good mother....
LRH:
(Primary holder and suppressor in the whole case.) Go over that again, "I have got to hold on to myself," please. It’s okay. Go over it again, "I have got to hold on to myself."
PC:
And I don’t like talking about AAs, because my mother had 12 children. My mother never tried to abort me or anybody else. I hate this damn AA talk, and all these smirking kids who run around and talk about AAs give me a pain in the neck.
LRH:
Who broke the Auditor’s Code on you in AA?
PC:
Nobody, I just heard them talk about it. Not all mothers try to abort their children. Some mothers really lose to have their children. I would lose to have had a dozen of them. I never had any, but there are a lot of women who like to have children, that wouldn’t dream of trying to abort them.
LRH:
We are not arguing about AAs.
PC:
I know.
LRH:
Let’s just go down to the bottom of the track and pick up the first "I have got to get hold of myself." Just go down and pick up the first "I have got to get hold of myself." PC: The smirking kids have never had problems or had mothers that have had to feed kids that are hungry.
LRH:
Go over "I have got to get ahold of myself." Repeat it, repeat it.
PC:
I have got to get ahold of myself. I have got to get ahold of myself. I have got to get ahold of myself."
LRH:
(Where there’s emotion, there’s fire.)
PC:
I have got to get ahold of myself. I have got to get ahold of myself. I have got to get ahold of myself. "( sobs) My mother isn’t crying. I don’t think that she is. I can’t see.
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
I have got to get ahold of myself. I have got to get ahold of myself. I have got to get ahold of myself."
LRH:
(Bouncer.)
PC:
I have got to get ahold, I have got to get ahold of myself."
LRH:
The bouncer will flash into your mind when I count from one to five. One- two- three- four- five (snap!).
PC:
I wish I could get away from all this."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
I wish I could get away from all this. I wish I could get away from all this and have a little peace."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
I wish I could get away from all this and have a little peace. I wish I could get away from this and have a little peace. "Why shouldn’t she want to get away? I don’t blame her. "I wish I could get away from here, from out of this and have a little peace. I wish I could get away from here and have a little peace."
LRH:
(Mama told baby to feel sorry for her.)
PC:
I wish I could get away from this and have a little peace. "I’m buzzing all over."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
I wish I could get away from all this and have a little peace."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
I wish I could get away from all this and have a little peace."
LRH:
(I have hit so many bits now that I will have to get earlier on control circuits.)
PC:
I wish I could get away from this and have a little peace. I wish I could get away from this and have a little peace." My mother’s just ill. She wouldn’t try to abort me. She’s ill. She’s sick to the stomach and she’s ill.
LRH:
All right. Let’s go over "I can’t get up." Did she say "I wish I could get it over with"? Did she say that?
PC:
I wish I could get it over with I wish I could get it over with."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
I wish I could get it over with I would feel better. "Now I have got a buzzing. "I would feel better."
LRH:
How old?
PC:
Oh, I’m not very old.
LRH:
What was the flash?
PC:
It’s two weeks.
LRH:
All right. What is she saying?
PC:
I wish I could get it over with I’d feel better. I wish I could get it over with. I’d feel better. "I don’t want to keep repeating here.
LRH:
Let’s go to the first moment, now, the earliest moment necessary to reduce this chain of control engrams. The file clerk will give us the first moment to reduce this chain of control engrams. When I count from one to five, a phrase will flash into your mind. One- two- threefour- five.
PC:
There’s circuitry working here.
LRH:
(I will have to get early on control circuits and reduce one. Mama had a bad second dynamic.)
PC:
I have just got something general. My hands are cold and my feet are cold.
LRH:
(Means a non- coitus chain, here.)
PC:
I hope I’m not caught again."
LRH:
Go over that again.
PC:
I hope I’m not caught again."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
I hope I’m not caught again. I hope I’m not caught again, but I suppose I am. I hope I am not caught again, but I suppose I am."
LRH:
Let’s go over it again.
PC:
I hope I’m not caught again, but I suppose I am. I always do get caught every . . . "( whispers) I can’t go over that in front of these people.
LRH:
Go over it in your mind.
(A non- coitus chain.)
PC:
(laughing)
LRH:
Go over the remark your mother made.
PC:
(laughing) That’s very funny. (laughs)
LRH:
Go over the remark your mother made.
PC:
If you could see what I see. (laughs)
LRH:
(Prenatal visio equals control circuits.)
PC:
Oh, that’s a very interesting oldfashioned expression.
LRH:
All right. Let’s go over it again. What is the next phrase after it? (She is skinning out.)
PC:
I seem to be skinning out.
LRH:
All right. Give me the bouncer.
PC:
Okay. "I wish I could get out of this."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
All right, kids, don’t smirk. "I wish I could get out of this. I wish I could get out of this. I wish I could get out of this"— and I don’t blame her. "I wish I could get out of this. I wish I could get out of this, I wish I could get out of this. I wish I could get out of this. "Boy, my hands are wet.
LRH:
How old are you?
PC:
I get 2.
LRH:
All right, go over it again.
PC:
I am not sure which 2 it is.
LRH:
All right. Letb try to run it as an engram, would you, as a favor to me?
PC:
Absolutely.
LRH:
All right. Let’s contact the first moment in the engram. The first moment in the engram with the somatic strip there. The first moment in the engram, contact whatever pain there might be there.
PC:
Yes.
LRH:
Whatever pain there might be there.
PC:
My stomach.
LRH:
Let’s contact it. Now, let’s see what we can get.
PC:
Pressure, mostly, and a buzzing.
LRH:
All right, let’s see if we can get the sensation there of moisture, darkness.
PC:
All right. Pressure on my head and stomach and moisture on my hands. The only thing, my feet are cold, but then it’s kind of cold here. I’m not cold from the feet up. I am warm.
LRH:
(Late; not an overall somatic.)
PC:
Oh, God, I hope I’m not caught. "This is the same one we were in— the first one. I mean, the earliest one. "I hope I’m not caught again. Oh, God, I hope I’m not caught again."
LRH:
(If this is because she is out of valence it will develop into an overall somatic.)
PC:
Oh, God, I hope I’m not caught again. "She only says that once. "Oh, God, I hope I’m not caught again. Oh, God, I hope I’m not caught again." There is buzzing and pressure on my mother’s stomach. "I feel so sick. Oh, God, I hope I’m not caught again." How could she feel sick right at the beginning? That doesn’t make sense. Oh, I know, she’s sick from something else. She’s already sick. She’s been sick. She’s already sick.
LRH:
(May not reduce. Coitus earlier on the case; bouncers at the beginning of the track.)
PC:
Yes, she’s sick. "I wish I could get it over with. Oh, God, I wish I could get it over with. Oh, God, I suppose I’m caught again. I suppose I’m caught again. I suppose I’m caught again. Oh, I feel so sick. I wish I could get it over with. Men should have to hare babies, too. Men should have to have babies, too."
LRH:
(It may be reducing.)
PC:
I’m not going to say it, but I will just think it.
LRH:
(We have no pain source yet.)
PC:
I will do it with my mouth. I mean, I am speaking to myself, but I won’t speak loudly. I will speak real quietly.
LRH:
(A comment on Papa. That was in the engram. She thinks it’s her own comment.) All right. Let’s return to the beginning of the engram. Now, can you Eve me a bouncer in this engram? Is there a bouncer in this engram? Yes or no?
PC:
Oh, I wish I could get out of this
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
Oh, I wish I could get out of this Oh, I wish I could get out of this. Go "LRH:over it again.
PC:
Oh, I wish I could get out of all this I wish I could get out of all this."
LRH:
(Her trembling has stopped, but the engram is not reduced. She has bounced .)
PC:
There seems to be a lot of buzzing in my head. "I wish I could get out of all this."
LRH:
(It’s reducing.) "I have got to get ahold of myself." Is that in there?
PC:
Yes. "I hare got to get ahold of myself. I hare got to get ahold of myself. If I don’t, nobody else will. I hare got to get hold of things. I hare got to get hold of things."
LRH:
(She ran over into the next phrase without being told. Equals control phrase in this engram.)
PC:
I hare got to get ahold of things. If I don’t, nobody else will. I hare got to get ahold of things. If I don’t, nobody else will. "I may be dubbing all this in, for all I know. "I hare got to get ahold of things. If I don’t, nobody else will."
LRH:
(That’s something of a grouper, a control.)
PC:
Now, isn’t that silly. Well, "I hare got to get ahold of things. If I don’t, nobody else will"— as if the whole burden of the world were on my shoulders. "I hare got to get ahold of myself. If I don’t, nobody else will. I hare got to get ahold of things."" Myself" comes in there, too, but it isn’t in this one.
LRH:
(It’s deintensified now. Voice becoming inaudible, dipping down into anaten. Anaten glued earlier on the track.)
PC:
I hare got to get ahold of things. If I don’t, nobody else will. I hare got to get ahold of things— if I don’t, nobody else will. "I don’t know if this thing’s supposed to be in here or not. It seems so to me, but I’m not yawning.
LRH:
Go over "I don’t know."
PC:
I don’t know. I don’t know."
LRH:
"I may be just imagining things." Go over that.
PC:
I hare been told that many times, "You’re imagining that, Rosemary."
LRH:
When did your mother say "I might be imagining things"? Is that phrase about imagination in this engram, "I am probably imagining all this"?
PC:
I am probably imagining all this I’m probably imagining all this."
LRH:
Give me a yes or no on the following, another bouncer?
PC:
I don’t get yes. I don’t get any flash. I seem to feel that I am still here.
LRH:
All right. Let’s contact the beginning, the very beginning of the engram. The earliest moment of disturbance, the earliest moment of disturbance to you. Contact the earliest moment of disturbance and give me the first phrase. I will count from one to five and the phrase will flash into your mind. What have you got?
PC:
Oh, God, I suppose I’m caught again."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
Oh, God, I suppose I’m caught again."
LRH:
All right. Let’s contact the beginning of this again. Give me a yes or no. Is this the earliest phrase in the engram?
PC:
Not in this one.
LRH:
All right. Let’s get the phrase just before that "Oh, God," whatever it is, the phrase just before it.
PC:
Well, this is the earliest phrase in this one.
LRH:
All right. Let’s roll it.
PC:
Oh, God, I suppose I’m caught again. Oh, God, I suppose I’m caught again. Oh, God, I suppose I’m caught again."
LRH:
Let’s get the perceptic now; get a perceptic of moisture. Let’s feel some moisture here, as one runs this.
PC:
I don’t get moisture, especially around my arms.
LRH:
All right. Let’s contact this voice now.
PC:
I am just a little exteriorized. That’s the only time I am, when I try to hear something. And when it seems I don’t try to hear, I do. "Oh, God, I suppose I’m caught again."
LRH:
(That one can be traced, but an auditor must not leave an engram unreduced and go off chasing rainbows which he thinks in a moment will resolve the case.)
PC:
Oh, God, I suppose I’m caught again."
LRH:
Stay on the engram.
PC:
Oh, God, I suppose I’m caught again. "( voice becomes inaudible)
LRH:
(Dipping down into anaten. Voice faint, anaten glued earlier on the track. Don’t need one for a reduction. There, she came through.)
PC:
Oh, God, I suppose I’m caught again." How long will I hare to go over this?
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
Oh, God, I suppose I’m caught again. "What has God got to do with it? "I suppose I’m caught again, I suppose I’m caught again."
LRH:
(She’s bored. She will laugh now.)
Go over it again.
PC:
I suppose I’m caught again. Oh, God, I suppose I’m caught again. I suppose I’m caught again."
LRH:
(Close to a yawn, her flippant remark indicated tension still on it.)
PC:
I suppose I’m caught again. I suppose I’m caught again."
LRH:
What is the matter?
PC:
I don’t seem to be contacting it.
LRH:
All right. Give me a bouncer. A bouncer will flash into your mind.
PC:
I wish I could get out of this I wish I could get out of this. I wish I could get out of this."
LRH:
All right. Go over "I have got to get ahold of myself."
PC:
I have got to get ahold of myself. I have got to get ahold of myself. I have got to get ahold of myself. "Say, do you suppose there’s something here? "I have got to get ahold of myself. I have got to get ahold of myself."
LRH:
(She put her hand on her stomach.) Go over it again. Feel the moisture while you are on the phrase:
PC:
I have got to get ahold of myself. I have got to get ahold of myself."
LRH:
(Out of valence in yawn.)
PC:
My mother isn’t coughing; I think I have been smoking so many cigarettes, no wonder I cough. "I have got to get ahold of myself. I have got to get ahold of myself."
LRH:
(This case is under compulsion to defend Mama.) Go over it again.
PC:
(yawns and coughs) Maybe that is my mother. That’s the way she yawns and coughs.
LRH:
Go over that. Pick up the moisture.
PC:
I am literally dripping with it.
LRH:
All right. Contact her voice saying it.
PC:
The way she says it:" I hare just got to get ahold of myself for the children’s sake." That comes in there, I think. "Poor little kids."
LRH:
(This is too late, two months, that it’s tough to lift it. Sympathy engram.) All right, let’s contact the beginning of this engram, now. See if we can roll the whole thing. See if we can roll the whole thing from the first moment of it.
PC:
Oh, God, I suppose I’m caught again."
LRH:
Give me a yes or no on this. Are you in your own valence?
PC:
Yes, I am right now.
LRH:
All right. Let’s roll it, now. The moment you slide out of your own valence, you will tell me. Let’s get in your own valence through this.
PC:
Oh, God, I suppose I’m caught again. Oh, God, I suppose I’m caught again."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
There’s a lot of circuitry in here, an awful lot.
LRH:
All right, let’s see if we can contact this from the beginning. "Oh, God, I suppose I’m caught again."
PC:
Oh, God, I suppose I’m caught again. Oh, God, I suppose I’m caught again. Oh, God, I suppose I’m caught again."
LRH:
Give me a yes or no on this. Does the word "caught" appear earlier in this case?
PC:
Yes.
LRH:
All right, let’s go to the earlier mention of the word "caught."
PC:
Jack, I hare to get up or I will be caught."
LRH:
Go over that again.
PC:
Jack, I hare to get up or I will be caught." Gee, that’s awful. I suppose everyone in this room has said the same thing.
LRH:
You bet you.
PC:
Jack, I hare to get up or I will be caught. Jack, I have to get up or I will be caught."
LRH:
(There’s the first bouncer in the non- coitus chain. She’s been bouncing off this for 80 hours.)
PC:
Hey, I have been in here before, but I hare always been taken out.
LRH:
(This is the sperm sequence.)
PC:
Jack, Jack, Jack!" That’s my mothers voice!" Jack, Jack, Jack!"
LRH:
(Sonic.)
PC:
(slapping couch) "Jack, Jack, Jack!"
LRH:
(Case opened.)
PC:
That’s my mother’s voice. "Jack, Jack, Jack!"
LRH:
Next line.
PC:
Jack, I have got to get up I hare got to get up. "I just hear "Jack. "If I could just hear the rest of it. "Jack, Jack, Jack t I have got to get up or I will be caught." That’s the way my mother’s voice sounded when I was a little girl. It’s very different now. "Jack, Jack."
LRH:
(She is amused by sonic; new.)
PC:
Jack, Jack!" I hear my mother’s voice.
LRH:
All right. Let’s go over that again.
PC:
I mean, I have to say it in order to hear it.
LRH:
All right. Let’s go over it again.
PC:
Does that make sense? It doesn’t to me.
LRH:
(Circuit just before this.) All right. Give me a yes or no on this: Is there a "Control yourself" just before this?
PC:
Yes.
LRH:
All right. What did she say?
PC:
"You will have to exercise a little control, Jack."
LRH:
All right. Let’s go over it again.
PC:
"You will have to exercise a little control, Jack. You have got to exercise a little control, Jack. I have got to get up or I will be caught."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
You have got to exercise a little control, Jack. I have got to get up or I will be caught."
LRH:
Go over it again, honey.
PC:
"You will have to exercise a little control, Jack, or I will be caught."
LRH:
(There’s a tone 4.)
PC:
Oh, that’s so funny. (laughing)
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
"You will have to exercise a little control, Jack, you have got to— you will have to exercise a little control, Jack." Gosh, I thought I was a sperm and I’m not.
LRH:
What’s happening?
PC:
Yes. It’s curious. I guess I’m disappointed. "You will have to exercise a little control, Jack. I will have to get up or get caught. You will have to exercise a little control, Jack. I will have to get up or I will be caught."
LRH:
(She doesn’t connect coitus with a sperm. Conception is usually coitus.)
PC:
"You will have to exercise a little control, Jack. You will have to exercise a little control, Jack. "First, I control myself in Papa’s valence. Then, I get into Mama’s valence and have a heck of a good time there and then I just bounce from one to the other. No wonder I felt so badly when I lost both. That’s amusing. That doesn’t make sense. "You will have to exercise a little control, Jack, or I will be caught. I have to get up or I will be caught. You will have to exercise a little control, Jack. You will have to get up or I will be caught." Gee, I can feel that motion just like rocking. That’s what it’s like. I used to like to rock when I was a little girl.
LRH:
(Kinesthesia? Sperm wiggles.)
PC:
"You will have to get up. "That’s what’s bouncing. "I have to get up."
LRH:
All right, roll it.
PC:
"You will have to exercise a little control. You will have to exercise a little control. I will have to get up or I will be caught. "No wonder I am being bounced.
LRH:
All right.
PC:
"I will have to get up or I will be caught. I will have to get up or I will be caught."
LRH:
(There are several phrases between "control" and "caught.")
PC:
Boy, I just hang on to myself and say, "Control. "I really get rigid.
LRH:
(That’s Papa.)
PC:
"You will have to exercise a little control, Jack. I have to get up or I will be caught."( yawns)
LRH:
When you start to yawn, run the phrases through your mind without saying them.
PC:
"You will have to exercise a little control, Jack. "Gosh. I wish I could stop trying to compute. That’s control, again. "You will have to exercise a little control, Jack."
LRH:
Go over the phrase "I wish you’d stop thinking."
PC:
I wish you’d stop thinking it. I wish you’d stop thinking it. I wish you’d stop thinking about it."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
I. wish you’d stop thinking about it. I wish you’d stop thinking about it. I wish you’d stop thinking about it."
LRH:
All right. Let’s return to the earliest moment that we can contact on the sperm sequence. The earliest moment. The earliest moment you can contact there. The first phrase that you get there will flash into your mind when I count from one to five. One- two- three- four- five. You are doing just fine, by the way. What was the phrase you got?
PC:
I didn’t.
LRH:
No phrase? All right. Is there somebody there who says "Shut up" or "hush" or something?
PC:
Be quiet, or the children will hear you. Be quiet; the children will hear us."
LRH:
All right, go over that again.
PC:
Be quiet; the children will hear us. Be quiet; the children will hear us. Be quiet; the children will hear us."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
Be quiet; the children will hear us As a matter of fact, that is the first phrase.
LRH:
All right. Let’s go over it.
PC:
Be quiet; the children will hear us Be quiet; the children will hear us. Be quiet; the children will hear us."[ At this point, a photographer takes a flash picture of the demonstration.]
LRH:
[to photographer] You should have told me earlier that you were going to do that. [to pc] Go over that flash.
PC:
Flash, flash, flash, flash. And I can see it. Flash, flash, flash, flash. "And the next time you flash, say you are going to flash, please."
LRH:
Okay. I have just given you a signal. Now, go over the time it flashed.
PC:
Be quiet; the children will hear you Be quiet; the children will hear you. Be quiet; the children will hear you. Be quiet; the children will hear you. Be quiet; the children will hear you. Be quiet; the children will hear you."
LRH:
(There are earlier engrams. This isn’t going to erase.)
PC:
This is just like a rocking chair. I like rocking chairs. That’s the phrase and then there’s a skip, and there are no words in there. And then, "You have got to exercise some control, Jack. I have got to get up or I will be caught. You have got to exercise a little control, Jack. I have to get up or I will be caught."
LRH:
All right. Let’s go back to the beginning of this and get that first phrase, "Be quiet."
PC:
Be quiet, Jack; the children will hear us."
LRH:
Is there an earlier phrase in this engram? Give me a yes or no. PC: No. That’s the first line. My parents don’t do an awful lot of talking.
LRH:
Good. Let’s roll it. "Be quiet, Jack; the children will hear us."
PC:
Be quiet; the children will hear us Be quiet, Jack; one of the children will hear us.
LRH:
(She may be suppressing data because of the audience.)
PC:
Be quiet; the children will hear us.
LRH:
Are you in your own valence?
PC:
Yes.
LRH:
All right.
PC:
Be quiet, Jack; the children will hear us.
LRH:
Can we shift over on the ovum sequence?
PC:
Yes.
LRH:
All right. Let’s shift over on the ovum sequence. Let’s contact the first phrase we get in the ovum sequence, the first phrase. When I count from one to five, it will flash into your mind. One- two- three- four- five.
PC:
Oh, God. What do I do now? Katie has burned herself. Gosh, how could that have happened ?"
LRH:
Okay. Go over that.
PC:
Oh, God. What do I do now? Katie’s burned herself."
LRH:
What kind of a somatic do you get for yourself?
PC:
Just kind of pushed down, a gentle buzzing.
LRH:
All right. Let’s go over it again.
PC:
I just feel kind of pushed up.
LRH:
(Something’s wrong.) All right. What do you get with this pushed feeling? What words do you get with it?
PC:
Oh, God. Katie’s burned herself. Oh, God, what’s happened ? Katie’s burned herself."
LRH:
All right. Go over it again.
PC:
Oh, God. Now what’s happened ? Katie’s burned herself."
LRH:
Give me a yes or no. Is it the ovum sequence?
PC:
I’m not sure.
LRH:
Give me another flash. Is this the ovum sequence?
PC:
I think so.
LRH:
All right. Can we get earlier phrases on this, yes or no?
PC:
Yes.
LRH:
All right. Let’s get the earliest phrase we can get on this. The earliest phrase we can get.
PC:
God bless my children."
LRH:
Go over that again.
PC:
God bless my babies." That’s it.
LRH:
All right.
PC:
God bless my babies. God bless my babies. God bless my babies."
LRH:
Okay. Go over it again.
PC:
Everything’s all right.
LRH:
Sure.
PC:
God bless my babies. God bless my babies. God bless my babies. God bless my babies. God bless my babies." LRH: What is the next phrase?
PC:
I don’t get any.
LRH:
All right. Let’s go over "God bless my babies."
PC:
God bless my babies."
LRH:
Give me an age flash.
PC:
It seems like it’s two seconds or— before.
LRH:
(Stuck on "two" something.)
PC:
I seem to get "two" an awful lot.
LRH:
Go over that again.
PC:
Two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two." Jeff said that.
LRH:
What about Jeff?
PC:
Oh, that’s a friend of mine who said my number was on the wall. A friend that lives down the canyon.
LRH:
All right. Let’s contact now the earliest moment of pain or unconsciousness that you can reach, either sperm, ovum, preconception, wherever it is, the earliest phrase that we can reach. When I count from one to five, it will flash into your mind. One- two- three- four- five.
PC:
I didn’t get a flash.
LRH:
All right. The file clerk will give us the earliest phrase— when I count from one to five, it will flash into your mind. One -two- three- four- five .
PC:
Oh, Jack. Oh, Jack."
LRH:
(Nothing has really reduced. Got to get an early one to take tension off.)
PC:
Oh, Jack, will you please help me? Will you please help me with the children?" Oh, God, I don’t see where this fits in. "Will you please help me with the children?"
LRH:
(Got to get an early one to take tension off once I restimulate it.) All right. If your father were dressing children, what would he say?
PC:
"I will do the best I can, Joan."
LRH:
Would he have any trouble fitting something in?
PC:
What?
LRH:
Would he have any trouble fitting some child into something?
PC:
He probably would.
LRH:
Give me a yes or no on the following. In the conception sequence, do we have the phrase "Don’t come in me"? Give me a yes or no on that.
PC:
Give it to me again, because I have a hunch it was a yes.
LRH:
All right. Let’s run it. (Non- coitus chain.) Go over it again.
PC:
Don’t come in me, don’t come in me. Don’t come in me."
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
Don’t come in me, don’t come in me. Don’t come in me."
LRH:
What somatic have you got?
PC:
Just wet.
LRH:
All right. (She won’t give up the phrases to an audience.)
PC:
They all know what’s going on. "Don’t come in me. Don’t come in me. Don’t come in me."
LRH:
The earliest time you get that.
PC:
"Don’t come in me. Don’t come in me. Don’t come in me. Don’t come in me."
LRH:
(I will have to have this run out in a private session.)
PC:
This is the first time it’s euer been said in my young life. Do you want me to repeat it again?
LRH:
Go over it again.
PC:
Don’t come in me. Don’t come in me. Don’t come in me. "Why aren’t I yawning? I usually yawn my head off.
LRH:
All right. Let’s go over it again, just as a test.
PC:
Well, it isn’t here.
LRH:
All right. Let’s go over "The children will hear."
PC:
The children will hear. The children will hear. The children will hear. "But she says, "Be quiet, Jack; the children will hear. Be quiet, Jack; the children will hear."
LRH:
(That’s a sonic shut- off, a mild one.)
PC:
Be quiet, Jack; the children will hear." It’s awfully hot. I think it’s because I am out in front of all these people that just keeps me constantly alerted to this control circuit.
LRH:
All right. I have just alerted your auditor to run this out. If we bring you up to present time, will you come back to it?
PC:
I sure will.
LRH:
All right. Come up to a moment of pleasure. A moment of pleasure.
PC:
Get inside myself.
LRH:
Okay.
PC:
I am standing on Monte Alban down in Mexico. It’s a beautiful day, and it’s a beautiful, beautiful place.
LRH:
Okay. Let’s take a look at it. Is there wind on your face?
PC:
Yes. There have been hundreds and hundreds of people who have died on this spot. It’s an old historic ruin. I am thrilled. And down below are ruins where the village people lived. Up where I am standing, on the top of the hill, are the main parts of the ruins.
LRH:
Feel the wind.
PC:
Yes.
LRH:
(Very dangerous to leave a conception in restimulation. Have to work it right away now.)
PC:
There are all the colors— reds, greens, browns— down in the valley.
LRH:
Do you feel good?
PC:
Well, I am aware of the brotherhood of all humanity.
LRH:
Does that make you feel good?
PC:
Yes.
LRH:
Canceler. Only no canceler was installed but that’s okay.
PC:
Oh, that’s all right.
LRH:
All right. Supposing you and your auditor go and run out that conception. Thank you very much.
PC:
Thank you very much, Mr. Hubbard. I hope I didn’t give you a bad time.
LRH:
You didn’t give me a bad time. Nobody gives me a bad time. I sometimes give them a bad time. Okay.

I don’t think I have to make any comment on this case, except that we were running down the chain and she was very alert, very aware and in present time. You will find people will sort of hang up a bit in present time. Their attention units will be up there. Sometimes they are too alerted by their environment, as is occasionally the case when a man is being audited by a woman. If a man has lots of engrams which make him feel badly about women, he will be so alert that he doesn’t send many attention units back down the track; and it works in reverse, too. Some women can only be worked by men, and some women can only be worked by women.

The danger of leaving her at conception is that she is in a restimulated state and therefore there are not many attention units up at present time; we ran into a lot of holders and bouncers. She came back to present time all right; there was a time lag before she opened her eyes showing that she had actually moved up the track. You will notice this invariably, and it is one of the tests of being stuck on the track.