AUDITING DEMONSTRATION

Sessions with Alan White 7 June 1950

Auditing Toward Clear

LRH:

So we’ll work now to discover what your mechanical recall is. I would like very much to see if we can’t recover a moment when you were really winning and felt good.

PC:

Well, winning, I don’t know. I can think of lots of moments when If eat good.

LRH:

Well, how about when you won something, or what’s the last piece of real good news you got?

PC:

Nothing comes into my head particularly.

LRH:

The last piece of real good news, your somatic strip can go to it.

PC:

Well, there have been several pieces of good news since I got my new job.

LRH:

Hm- hm?

PC:

I think of one very good one which in a sense was me winning, was when I made an outline for a possible series of articles on a book about a political figure . . .

LRH:

Hm- hm.

PC:

and all of its potentialities for other articles and a very important campaign and gave it to Peters and he took it up with the publisher, Frederick. And Frederick sent back a memo in which he was very pleased and very impressed, and said that I had done a wonderful job.

LRH:

Let’s pick up the moment somebody’s telling you there that you have done a wonderful job.

PC:

That’s when I’m reading the memo from Frederick which Peters has handed to me.

LRH:

Okay. Let’s be right there and read that memo.

PC:

Yup.

LRH:

See it?

PC:

Yup.

LRH:

Good. Now what do you contact with regard to it? What does it say?

PC:

Uh....

LRH:

Take a look at it.

PC:

Yeah. It’s a page and a half memo, typewritten.

LRH:

Hm- hm.

PC:

And it goes into the whole plan very thoroughly as I outlined it. Mentions one problem in connection with the articles and suggests a way of overcoming them by getting quotes from prominent businessmen. And this one aspect is covered in the last paragraph which says, White is to be congratulated on having done a very thorough and intelligent job.

LRH:

Now let’s take a look at that line, let’s feel some of the pleasure you felt there as you were reading it.

PC:

Hm- hm.

LRH:

Let’s be right there.

PC:

It was good, I felt fine.

LRH:

All right. Let’s read the line and feel that pleasure.

PC:

Yeah.

LRH:

All right. Now, what are the sounds there right after you finish reading that line? Go ahead and look it over. Read the line.

PC:

Yeah. As I’m reading it I don’t hear anything. But afterwards I hear Peters’ voice saying, Well, you see, so he likes it.

LRH:

Hm- hm.

PC:

In his very gruff way in which he talks but with a smile which shows that he is pleased too. Then he says, Can you go ahead and get those quotes Frederick wants ? And I said, Yes. I’m sure I can.

LRH:

Okay. Now, how does it make you feel there?

PC:

Fine.

LRH:

Are you sitting on anything there?

PC:

Yeah, on a leather- upholstered chair with wooden arms.

LRH:

Can you feel it while you hear those words?

PC:

ah— kind of.

LRH:

Okay. Let’s listen to the words again, and feel the chair.

PC:

Yeah.

LRH:

Okay. Do you feel pleased while you’re sitting there?

PC:

Sure.

LRH:

Good.

PC:

Very nice.

LRH:

Good. Now let’s see if we can’t return to the time when you’re talking to your father. Is your father alive?

PC:

Yes, he’s alive.

LRH:

All right. Let’s return to a time when you’re talking to your father.

PC:

Hm- hm. .

LRH:

How does he look while you’re talking to him?

PC:

Well, we saw him Christmas time, but I remember particularly when he came back from Europe last summer. I can see him sitting in the living room.

LRH:

All right. Let’s be there with him.

PC:

Yeah. By the big table, and he’s going through a lot of the postcards of all the pictures he saw. He went to all the museums he could get in, in one month. And he’s going through the cards and talking about them. Martha is standing beside him looking at them.

LRH:

How do you feel while you’re standing there?

PC:

Just fine, it’s a very nice scene there, because I’m very fond of him and I’m very fond of Martha, and it’s nice to see them enjoying the same thing together.

LRH:

Well, now let’s go back to when you’re talking to your mother.

PC:

Yeah.

LRH:

All right. Let’s take a look at her.

PC:

Hm- hm.

LRH:

What does she say?

PC:

Well, Ipicture her last as she was in the hospital before she died.

LRH:

Uh- huh. What is she saying to you?

PC:

She’s saying, I don’t know what I would have done without you during this time.

LRH:

Okay. Can you pick up the sonic on her voice there?

PC:

Not too well. I can’t really hear it, Ijust know the words.

LRH:

All right. Let’s take a look at her.

PC:

Yeah, she’s pretty sick. Very, very deep dark circles under her eyes.

LRH:

How do you feel while you’re looking at her?

PC:

It’s hard to say. All during that I had almost no feeling. But I feel good that she feels good that she has had somebody during a time when she was so sick that would come and see her and help her. So it’s a good feeling to know that I was able to do that.

LRH:

Uh- huh.

PC:

But the feeling directly about her, however, almost doesn’t exist as a feeling.

LRH:

Hm- hm. Well, do you think maybe she’ll die while you’re standing here?

PC:

No, not while I’m standing here. But I think she’s very likely to die during the course of the time she’s in the hospital.

LRH:

Uh- huh. Now let’s come up to the time when she dies.

PC:

Yes.

LRH:

What’s the first moment you hear the news of her death?

PC:

Jean came home from the hospital early in the morning. She had gone to see her very early, about 8 o’clock, and came home and told me that she had died.

LRH:

All right. Let’s take a look at her while she’s telling you.

PC:

Yeah.

LRH:

How is she saying it?

PC:

She’s saying it very quietly to me, I believe in the hall, because she doesn’t want the kids to hear. She doesn’t know yet how to tell them about it— Martha particularly, who knew my mother and was fond of her. And she’s saying it under her breath pretty much and telling me the details. She had died just a very short time before she got to the hospital.

LRH:

Hm- hm.

PC:

And that she went into the room, as a matter of fact, without knowing that she had died.

LRH:

And what occurred?

PC:

I don’t remember. I think she went and found a nurse.

LRH:

What’s she telling you?

PC:

Jean is telling me this about my mothers death, that she found a nurse and the nurse said she had died just a very short while before.

LRH:

All right. Let’s go back to the first moment you receive this news of your mother’s death.

PC:

Yes. The first word was when Jean came home.

LRH:

And what does she say?

PC:

She said, She’s dead. She died just a few minutes before Igot there.

LRH:

How do you feel when you hear this?

PC:

No feeling.

LRH:

All right. Let’s contact the moment she says this and let’s go through it again. Let’s see her as she comes in and let’s contact what she says. You know where you are there now?

PC:

Yeah. I’m in the hall of the apartment. And Jean’& come in the door, and she says, She’s dead, she died just a few minutes before Igot there. I can see it and remember it but I can’t hear it though. And there was no particular feeling that I had one way or another. I’d been expecting her death for quite a while, so it was no surprise.

LRH:

Let’s go back over it again, and let’s see if we can’t contact this very solidly. How does she look when she comes in? What is she wearing?

PC:

I don’t know. All I can picture her in is what she has on today and has had on recently. I’ve no idea what she has on.

LRH:

All right. Let’s take a look at her. Does she come in the front door?

PC:

Yes.

LRH:

And where does she walk to as she comes in the front door?

PC:

I can’t see it. The apartment has been changed since that time, the arrangement of rooms, and I keep seeing it as it is now, not as it was then. I don’t know whether she rang the doorbell and I went to the door to let her in or not. My father is there in the apartment.

LRH:

What is he saying?

PC:

He’s not there at the moment she’s telling me, he’s in his room, whatever room it is he’s using.

LRH:

Hm- hm. Now you’re not sure then what he’s saying?

PC:

No. It begins to come a little bit now. I think that I went into his room and he had been getting dressed. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, he had his coat off, but he was dressed except for that and I believe he was doing his nails. I’m not sure, but I have that picture.

LRH:

Okay.

PC:

I don’t know if Jean went in with me when I told him or not. I can’t see, but I remember saying it to him. He looked up and said, Hello, son, which he calls me once in a while. And I said, Mother died a little while ago. And he said, Oh? and I can’t hear anything else. Then I said, Yes, Jean just got back. She had died just a few minutes before she got there early this morning.

LRH:

What did he do?

PC:

He sort of stops looking at me and turns his head and looks at the floor for a bit. I can’t hear what he says, I think he’s quiet for a little time.

LRH:

Okay. Now let’s go back to the moment when Jean first walks in.

PC:

Yeah.

LRH:

Now what’s she saying?

PC:

She says, She is dead. She died just a little while before I got there.

LRH:

What’s her voice tone?

PC:

Very low. Not a whisper but sotto voce.

LRH:

Hm- hm. And what is your reaction to this?

PC:

 don’t have much feeling. I asked for the details about it, how it had happened and at what time and I asked her what the doctor said.

LRH:

Is it getting clearer this time?

PC:

Not really.

LRH:

All right. Let’s go back to the time when you receive this bicycle.

PC:

Received what?

LRH:

Bicycle.

PC:

Bicycle ?

LRH:

Yes.

PC:

, don’t remember the details of getting it, but I can picture my first ride on it. I believe it was my first on the street in front of our house. The bike was in the street and I stood on a stone.

LRH:

Let’s take a look at the bike as you’re standing on the stone there. Let’s stand on that stone and take a look at it.

PC:

Yeah.

LRH:

How does the stone feel under your feet?

PC:

Well, the stone looks to me about five times as big as it must really have been.

LRH:

Oh, good. (chuckles)

PC:

Because if the stone were as big as I see it, I couldn’t haue gotten on the bike from it without jumping down on the bike. It looks like a very big stone, about two feet high.

LRH:

Okay. Now what’s occurring there?

PC:

Well, the bike is leaning against it, I’m standing on the stone and I have one hand on the handle bar. My brother Sam is a few years older and knows how to ride a bike. He’s standing in the street on the other side of the bike, steadying it by the other handlebar and the seat. And I step on one pedal and swing my leg over and sit on the seat and grab the handlebars.

LRH:

Okay.

PC:

And then I start pedaling. Sam gives a little push and I make him promise that he won’t let go.

LRH:

How does he sound when he’s talking to you?

PC:

All right, I won’t let go. You just go ahead, I’ll hold on to the seat.

LRH:

Okay.

PC:

And I pushed down the pedal and he pushes ahead and I can feel his hand against me at the back where it’s holding the back of the seat.

LRH:

Good. You feel pleased there?

PC:

Oh yeah, this is wonderful but I’m a little bit scared that I’m not going to be able to ride or that he’s going to let go. .

LRH:

Can you feel this being scared?

PC:

Yah, but elated at the same time.

LRH:

Okay.

PC:

And I don’t want him to let go because I’ll fall, but also I don’t want to fall, I want to learn how to ride.

LRH:

Okay. Let’s come on up to present time.

PC:

Yeah.

LRH:

All the way. Canceled.

PC:

Yeah.

LRH:

Thank you.

To an auditor all of this material is very obvious— that when a person goes through an emotional experience, particularly one which is varied, he is off the edge of it a little bit. This means that we have uncovered a moment there which the psychoanalyst calls an affect. But we are right on the ground of it. Now as we examine it we see clearly that the diagnosis means that there is an emotional charge upon the preclear’s mother’s death, but the charge is such that the person cannot approach the actual incident. Sooner or later that incident must be discharged.

It is not whether or not the person can remember, it’s whether or not he can re- experience it. He should be able to re- experience it by smelling the hall, by seeing what the people had on and so on.

Any effort by an auditor to challenge the validity of the patient’s recall would make him shaky the next time he went back to it for fear somebody might challenge the line again, and that would shake his confidence in the recall. I have seen a person do this— he fixed up a case so that it ran for scores of hours over what it should have and finally, halfway through therapy the patient, instead of feeling better, was getting to be a wreck.

Then the Dianeticist has to go back and pick up all of these times when the person’s validity has been questioned. Only after he has picked up those incidents all by themselves will therapy then go forward. But it may take a long time to pick them up.

It isn’t memory. The person is right at the moment of the recording.

There are two forms of memory. One form of memory is like a photographic shop. Down in the standard banks and the engram bank, that photographic shop turns out exact duplicates of the recording of memory, which it pulls up to the analytical mind for computation. As they come up, the analytical mind looks these things over, and that is memory in present time.

Using the same analogy, the other form could be depicted as the person getting right to the moment when it was recorded on the track. He is in the photographic shop, and not only in the photographic shop but behind the lens of the camera, reading off the whole thing. He is not recording it and he is not remembering. He is rerecording.

That is what very often baffles a psychiatrist when he is watching someone in reverie. He says, "But my people are doing this all the time."

We are not talking about a conceptual recall which would be this little print sent up to the main office. We are looking over the initial record, and we are looking it over with great thoroughness.

If there is something on that record which is painful, it is going to come off the record, and that is all that is going to come off the record. Pleasure is stet data. You can’t shake it. You can go over a pleasurable moment a hundred times, or two hundred times. The person may get bored with going over it, but it’s still there. And if he goes back to it in the next session, he can still go over it, and still feel good about it. But on a painful incident, that’s a different thing. You can only go over those things— particularly when you treat the whole engram bank— a few times and they blow up in your face, and are gone.

The Schopenhauer philosophy that all was pain happens to be wrong. The only thing in the mind which is a real permanent recording is pleasure.

This process is like "I" being the overall manager of a magazine. He has always had a printer’s devil and an errand boy that brings him up the material. And now, in order to straighten out the whole layout and get the organisation really traveling, he gets up out of his chair and starts looking at the files and looking over the organisation and sorting the thing out. That is a good analogy.

A very definite principle that an auditor must follow is never bring a person up short. I have tested it and have done just that, occasionally— challenged the person’s memory, particularly when he was going over an incident that was very painful to him, and told him, "Well, you must be imagining it," just as a test, and I have had them precipitated into an awful state of mind.

The person is already being attacked from within because he is re- experiencing. Here he is right here, and now suddenly he can re- experience this because he has an auditor there giving him a hand. Two analytical minds are working on the same subject. Now if all of a sudden the auditor seems to take an antagonistic role and the auditor’s analytical mind is suddenly reversed against him, this person’s analytical mind, already cut down by the fact that he is going over something painful, receives the full impact of the auditor and the engram and at that moment succumbs, and he will go through a crying spell that is really of no great value. He becomes very nervous and quite upset.

If you do this to a psychotic that you are treating who is having breaks every day or so in an institution, you can put him into a fit that will last him for several days.

A patient, as long as he is helped, along with the fact that he is doing his best, will all of a sudden start coming up with the real material, and then he can’t be shaken about how real it is. But that takes a while and the mind has to be unburdened.

One of the commonest things that happens in America is Mama to the child, "Oh, it’s just your imagination." Or, Papa to the wife, "Oh, so you have a headache. Well, it’s just your imagination. It’s all in your mind, for heaven’s sakes. Come out of it."

Actual test evidence demonstrates that psychoses and neuroses can be perpetuated by challenging the person’s recalls, which is fascinating in view of the fact that in 1911 they made this a cornerstone of their work, and there has been a curve of increasing psychosis and neurosis in this society since that doctrine’s promulgation. There is a parallel curve.

[The following is a further session given to Alan White on 7 June 1950.]

LRH:

Close your eyes, Alan. Any time in the future I say the word canceled, it will cancel out what I have said to you when you are lying here in session. All right. Now let’s go back to the time when your wife is about to go to the hospital and you slam the door. Remember we covered this before? This is the key- in.

PC:

Hm- hm.

LRH:

Okay. Let’s contact that moment, slam the door.

PC:

Yeah. I’ve just slammed the left- hand door of the car.

LRH:

All right.

PC:

And Igo around the back to the other side, and as I get near the left rear fender I get a terrible pain in my stomach.

LRH:

Let’s feel that pain.

PC:

(pause) No.

LRH:

Well, continue.

PC:

And I doubled up with pain and felt that I had to throw up but I didn’t want to. I couldn’t help it, and finally threw up. And the pain gradually went down a little bit after I threw up. But still was very strong.

LRH:

Okay. Let’s go back and close the door of the car now and let’s pick up the sonic on your wife’s voice.

PC:

She got in the car and I shut the door.

LRH:

What’s she saying?

PC:

Nothing. She climbed in just before I shut the door.

LRH:

Okay.

PC:

Then she said, I think it’s silly, it may be silly going so early. I don’t know if the pains are coming close enough.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

I said we ought to go anyway. It’s a long way to the hospital and we don’t want to be late.

LRH:

Okay.

PC:

Then I shut the door, and started back towards the rear of the car....

LRH:

What do you hear?

PC:

Nothing.

LRH:

Come on, there’s something sounding there as you go back toward the rear of the car.

PC:

My footsteps in the gravel.

LRH:

Okay. And what else?

PC:

Nothing.

LRH:

What time of night is it?

PC:

About 10: 30.

LRH:

How does the house look?

PC:

Light in the house.

LRH:

Hm- hm.

PC:

The back of the apartment house was in front of me as I stood there. And it looked very dark but there were lights in a few windows.

LRH:

Hm- hm.

PC:

Just two or three windows.

LRH:

And?

PC:

And it was very quiet.

LRH:

What are the sounds there?

PC:

Leaves rustling in the trees.

LRH:

Okay.

PC:

And there’s a cool breeze.

LRH:

Uh- huh.

PC:

In the 40s.

LRH:

Then what occurs?

PC:

Then I get a terrible pain.

LRH:

Okay.

PC:

And I grab the left rear fender of the car, right above the license plate.

LRH:

Okay. Continue.

PC:

And bend over and hold my stomach and I just sweat. And I feel nauseated as if I’m going to throw up. And I try to swallow hard, and my mouth fills up with saliva.

LRH:

Uh- huh.

PC:

And I keep swallowing and trying not to throw up, and I’m thinking, oh, this was a hell of a time to get sick.

LRH:

Aha. Continue.

PC:

Well, all of a sudden it comes up. I can’t help it and I throw up.

LRH:

How’s it taste?

PC:

(groan) I know it tasted awful but I can’t taste anything.

LRH:

All right. Let’s go back to the time you put your wife in the car.

PC:

She said, It may be silly and we may be going too early, the pains aren’t very close— —.

LRH:

How does she look when she’s saying this?

PC:

I can’t really see any expression, it’s dark.

LRH:

Okay.

PC:

And I said, No, we ought to go anyway, it’s a long way to the hospital. It’s better to be early than late.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

I shut the door and walked back towards the back of the car and got a terrible pain in my stomach——.

LRH:

Let’s feel that pain.

PC:

Hm- hm. Yah, a little bit.

LRH:

What do you hear, what are the sounds there?

PC:

(pause) There’s a breeze stirring . . .

LRH:

Hm- hm.

PC:

the trees . . .

LRH:

Aha.

PC:

(pause) . . . the sound of my swallowing . . .

LRH:

Hm- hm.

PC:

trying to hold things down.

LRH:

Any vehicles or anything like that?

PC:

Well, I know I said streetcar but I can’t hear it.

LRH:

All right. Let’s go back to the moment . you put your wife in the car.

PC:

Yeah.

LRH:

All right. Now how does it feel there? What’s the tactile on the door?

PC:

I can feel the flopping of the coat, it was a black coat, as I held it to me.

LRH:

Okay. Now what’s occurring?

PC:

And I put my left hand on the door of the car which was open. That was when she said, This may be silly and we’re probably going way too early, the pains may not be close enough together yet. And I said, We ‘d better go anyway, it ‘s a long way to the hospital. It’s better to be early than late.

LRH:

Uh- huh.

PC:

And I shut the door of the car, and started walking towards the rear of the car. I can hear my steps on the gravel, in the yard back of the apartment. And Igot a terrible pain and I grabbed the end of the car and it (pause) hurts. (pause) And I tried to swallow to keep from vomiting but I couldn’t help it at all. It came up very hard.

LRH:

Let’s feel the force of it come up.

PC:

No. I just feel the pain.

LRH:

What do you hear as you feel that pain?

PC:

(sighs, grunts)

LRH:

All right. Let’s return to the moment you put your wife in the car.

PC:

Yeah.

LRH:

Okay. What’s she saying?

PC:

She says, It may be (sigh) silly, we’re probably going too early. I don’t think the pains are close enough together.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

I said, No, we ought to go anyway. It’s a long way to the hospital and we don’t want to be late. It’s better to be early.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

And I shut the door and went to the back of the car, and there’s a terrible pain in my stomach. And I had to vomit. I didn’t want to vomit then and I kept swallowing to try to keep from vomiting. But then it came up, all of a sudden as I bent over and it hit me.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

Ifelt a little better but it still hurt badly.

LRH:

What are the sounds you hear there?

PC:

(exhales; pause) Now Iget a sound of her opening the car door.

LRH:

Hm- hm.

PC:

(labored speaking) She opened the car door and got out, and came back to me. I can’t hear what she says really. But at first she said, Can I get you something? And I said, No, I’ll be all right in a few minutes. I don’t know what happened, just nervous I guess. I’ll be all right in a minute. You just sit down in the car, just wait a minute. And she put her hand on my shoulder and said, I can run inside and get something for you to make you feel better. I said, No. No, that’s my fault. I’ll feel better in a few minutes. It just came over me all of a sudden. I’ll be all right.

LRH:

Okay.

PC:

She didn’t go back and get in the car, she stood there.

LRH:

All right. Now the somatic strip can go straight to the source of this pain. The source, the first time. Source. Source. Early. Early. Early. Prebirth if possible. Source. Source of the pain. First time. I (PC groans) First time. What do we get? First time. (pause) Does your wife say, Stay here and wait a minute there at the car? We’d better stay here?

PC:

No, she didn’t say, Stay here, she just stayed there instead of getting back in the car

LRH:

Did she say, You’ve got to wait?

PC:

I told her to get in the car and sit down, and I’d be all right in a few minutes. But she didn’t. She stood there beside me.

LRH:

What does she say while she’s standing there beside you?

PC:

Are you sure I can t get something for you ? No, no, I’ll be all right.

LRH:

Did she say, You’d better stay anyplace?

PC:

No.

LRH:

Did she say, You’d better wait?

PC:

No.

LRH:

Okay. Let’s go 10 minutes before you put her in the car. 10 minutes before you put her in the car.

PC:

(whispers) Yah.

LRH:

All right. How do you feel 10 minutes before you put her in the car? Where is she?

PC:

In the living room of the apartment.

LRH:

All right. What do you see there, while you’re in the living room?

PC:

(pause) It’s not too clear. There’d been some labor pains, not terribly severe, for the last two or three hours. And we had been watching the time to see how close they were coming.

LRH:

Hm- hm. Continue.

PC:

And it wasn’t very clear because some of them were fairly strong and definite, and others weren’t.

LRH:

Hm- hm. Continue.

PC:

But we finally judged that it was probably about— I can’t remember how many minutes, (mutters) I would have guessed 10 minutes, 10 or 11 minutes, something like that.

LRH:

All right, let’s go back to birth, Mike. Let’s go back to birth. When your mother’s going to the hospital. Birth. Mother’s going to the hospital.

PC:

Mother didn’t go to a hospital, I know that.

LRH:

All right. Birth. Mother stays at home.

PC:

Hm- hm.

LRH:

All right. Let’s see if we can’t pick up a somatic here. (pause) Let’s see if we can contact it.

PC:

I guess I’m a little bit nervous.

LRH:

Let’s repeat it.

PC:

I guess I’m a little bit nervous.

LRH:

Let’s go early on this. I’m just a little bit nervous.

PC:

I’m just a little bit nervous.

LRH:

All right. Now, The pains are coming close together. Let’s contact this on the track. Pains are coming close together. Pains are coming closer together. Pains, coming closer together. Let’s return to it. (pause) You can repeat it.

PC:

Pains are coming closer together. Pains are coming closer together.

LRH:

Let’s repeat it.

PC:

Pains are coming closer together.

LRH:

Let’s repeat it.

PC:

Pains are coming closer together.

LRH:

Let’s see if we can repeat this, down to the point where it occurs. Let’s pick up the somatic, this stomach somatic, back in the prenatal area if we can. Let’s see if we can pick this up. Just as early as we can get it. You moving on the track?

PC:

I’ve got a pain.

LRH:

All right. Let’s see what we get with this pain. What do you contact with that pain? Right there, any noise you can contact with it?

PC:

(pause; mutters)

LRH:

Hm? (pause) When I count to five a phrase will flash into your mind. One -two- three- four- five .

PC:

There is a green doily in front of me that I can see.

LRH:

Any words flash in?

PC:

No.

LRH:

Green doily?

PC:

Green. Just a green doily on top of some glasses, and there are glasses on the doily. It’s funny, I don’t know why it should be there.

LRH:

Don’t know why it should be there. Go on.

PC:

Don t know why it should be there on top of the glasses.

LRH:

Don’t know why it should be there.

PC:

I don’t know why it should be there.

LRH:

Go over that again.

PC:

I don’t know why it should be there.

LRH:

Go over it again.

PC:

I don’t know why it should be there.

LRH:

Give it to me again.

PC:

I don’t know why it should be there.

LRH:

What would be the next phrase to this?

PC:

I don’t know why it should be there. It really belongs underneath.

LRH:

Okay. Go over that again.

PC:

I don’t know why it should be there. It really belongs underneath.

LRH:

Let’s contact it more solidly.

PC:

I don’t know why it should be there. It belongs underneath.

LRH:

Okay. Let’s go over it again, more solidly.

PC:

I don’t know why it should be there. It really belongs underneath.

LRH:

All right. Let’s get the phrase just before this I don’t know why it should be there.

PC:

I don’t know why it should be there.

LRH:

The phrase just before it.

PC:

Whats it doing there?

LRH:

Go on over that again.

PC:

What s it doing there?

LRH:

Go over it again.

PC:

I don’t know what it’s doing there.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

Whats it doing there?

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

What s it doing there? I don’t know why it should be there. It really belongs underneath.

LRH:

Okay. Let’s get the first phrase of this. First phrase in this sequence. Somatic strip can pick up the first phrase in this sequence.

PC:

Pass it to me. Pass it to me.

LRH:

Earlier phrase?

PC:

(muttering) I don’t know what’s wrong.

LRH:

Go on over that.

PC:

I don’t know what’s wrong.

LRH:

Go over it again.

PC:

I don’t know what’s wrong.

LRH:

Next line.

PC:

I don’t know. (pause) I don’t know what’s wrong, but something’s got to be done about it.

LRH:

Next line.

PC:

I don’t know what’s wrong but something’s got to be done about it.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

Somebody s got to do something about it.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(sigh)

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(pause) Somebody’s got to do something about it.

LRH:

Go over it again.

PC:

He’ll be here any minute.

LRH:

Go over it again.

PC:

He’ll be here any minute.

LRH:

Go over that again.

PC:

Somebody’s got to do something about it. Well, he’ll be here any minute.

LRH:

What’s next?

PC:

I wish he’d hurry.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

I wish he’d hurry.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

He’ll be here any minute. I wish he’d hurry, because it hurts.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

I wish he’d hurry, because it hurts.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

It hurts more all the time

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

It hurts.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

It hurts.

LRH:

Continue. (pause) Continue. (pause) Continue. (pause) Go over that again.

PC:

It hurts more all the time

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

It seems as if I can t breathe.

LRH:

Okay. Continue.

PC:

(exhales, mutters) You’d think he could come— you’d think he could come anyway.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

You’d think he could come anyway (grunt)

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

ah— Why don’t you....

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

Why don’t you call him again.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

Why don’t you call him again. You’d better hurry. (pause) Better hurry. (pause) Or go and get him. Maybe that would be best.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(pause) Maybe that would be best.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(mutters) No. Don’t know. Don’t know.

LRH:

Is this the earliest one of this sequence?

PC:

Don’t know.

LRH:

Give me a flash answer. Has this happened before? What’s the first thing that flashed through your mind?

PC:

No.

LRH:

Hasn’t?

PC:

No.

LRH:

All right. Let’s contact the first part of it now and run it on through. The first part of it. The somatic strip can contact it.

PC:

I think the pains are getting closer together.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(sigh) I think the pains are getting closer together.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

Maybe you’d better send for him now.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

That can’t be McCarthy.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(pause; mutter)

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(pause) It’s not so bad. (pause) It’s a lot better than it would have been....

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

It will be a while after all. (pause)

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(mutter)

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(mutter)

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

You know. I think I don’t feel any pain at all.

LRH:

Continue. (pause) Continue.

PC:

I don’t know. I don’t know how often the....

LRH:

Contact it. Continue.

PC:

I don’t know.... (mutter)

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

Yah, this is starting up again. Yeah, I think it’s starting up again.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(mutter)

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

I keep getting these false alarms.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

That s why it s so hard to tell.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

Sometimes you think you’re getting a pain and then it doesn’t amount to anything. (exhales) They say time them, but—( sigh) but they don’t seem to be regular at all.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

Until the end.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

And then they get regular right at the end.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(mutter)

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

Are you sure he’s home? (pause) Yes, I am sure he will be coming.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

It feels fairly comfortable now.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

And it will be quite a while.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

It’s getting pretty late.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

Later than ever I think.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

I feel very sleepy all of a sudden.

LRH:

Continue along.

PC:

I always do in between pains.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

I guess that’s because Iget tired.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

It’s just fine now. I don’t know, you never can tell about these things.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(murmur; pause)

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

No. No. It’s all right.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(pause; deep breath; pause)

LRH:

Okay. Let’s return to the beginning of this. Let’s return to the beginning of this, the very beginning of this. (pause) Contact the very beginning of this.

PC:

(pause) I don’t know, I don’t know. (pause) There have been a few.

LRH:

All right. Let’s see if we can pick up Father’s voice there. Let’s see if we can pick up Papa’s voice. Come on. Get the question that’s asked right before that answer. What does Papa say, if that is Papa?

PC:

How do you feel? (pause) It feels better. Have you had any real pains yet?

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

There s a few but not many. I don’t know how close together they are, but they’re not very close.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

Is there anything I can get you?

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

Is there anything I can get you? No, I don’t think so.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

Anything?

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

It’s foolish. That’s the trouble, we can never be sure.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(grunt)

LRH:

You’re doing fine. Continue.

PC:

It won’t hurt much anyway. Are you ready? (pause)

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

I’ll be downstairs.

LRH:

Okay. Continue.

PC:

(mutter)

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

It’s so damned uncomfortable.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(pause; mutter; pause; mutter)

LRH:

Continue making good contact. Keep going.

PC:

(breathes heavily, mutters) My lip keeps getting dry, I wish I had a few more.... (voice trails away)

LRH:

Continue. (pause) Go back to the beginning and contact what we were receiving there at the beginning. Let’s be right there at the beginning of this. And let’s see if we can contact the somatic this time as we run it through. Let’s see if we contact your own somatic this time as we run it through. (pause) Right from the beginning. You can contact it. You’re doing swell. See if we can’t contact it right at the beginning there. Pains are closer together.

PC:

Can’t see. (pause; mutters) That’s not the beginning.

LRH:

All right. What is the beginning?

PC:

(mutters) The pains are closer together.

LRH:

Okay. Continue.

PC:

Maybe you had better call him again.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

You’d think he’d come. (pause) Maybe you’d better go over and get him very soon.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(pause; mutter, labored speech)

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(mutters several phrases)

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

Oh. (pause) I think I’m beginning to get used to it. I still don’t like it. (mutters phrase)

LRH:

Continue. Continue.

PC:

It’s right there. (sigh)

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(whimpers)

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(whimpered words, heavy breathing) No.

LRH:

All right. Let’s go right straight through to the moment you come out. The moment you’re lying on the table. Come straight through to the moment you’re lying on the table.

PC:

(whimpers)

LRH:

Straight through to the moment you’re lying on the table. You can remember this. Straight through to the moment you’re lying on the table. (pause) Contact the moment you’re lying on the table.

PC:

(grunt, small cry)

LRH:

You can remember this.

PC:

(grunt)

LRH:

Now contact the moment when you’re about 5 days old, 5 days old.

PC:

(breathes heavily)

LRH:

Contact the moment when you’re about 5 days old.

PC:

(breathes heavily)

LRH:

How do you feel when you’re lying there about 5 days old?.

PC:

Hot.

LRH:

Okay. How hot?

PC:

(croaks a word)

LRH:

Okay. Let’s come up to the time when you’re 1 month old.

PC:

(exhales)

LRH:

1 month old.

PC:

(grunt)

LRH:

1 month old. How do you feel when you’re 1 month old?

PC:

(exhales; pause; mutter)

LRH:

Pretty good?

PC:

Sleepy.

LRH:

Hm? Sleepy. All right. Let’s come up to the time when you’re 6 years old and getting on the bicycle.

PC:

Um.

LRH:

How big’s the rock?

PC:

(mutter)

LRH:

All right. Let’s feel the emotion on this, as we’re getting on the bike.

PC:

Yeah, I feel it.

LRH:

Pretty good?

PC:

No, I can’t feel it.

LRH:

All right. Let’s just step aboard this bike.

PC:

Yeah.

LRH:

Step aboard the bike? Now let’s start it off down the street.

PC:

Hm- hm. (exhales)

LRH:

How does it feel riding down the street?

PC:

(grunt) I can’t feel it.

LRH:

Hm?

PC:

Can’t feel anything.

LRH:

All right. Can’t feel anything. All right. Let’s go over the line, Can’t feel anything. Only let’s pick it up early prenatal. Early, early, early prenatal. Can’t feel anything, can’t feel anything. Early.

PC:

Can’t feel anything.

LRH:

Early. Much earlier.

PC:

Can’t feel anything.

LRH:

Early. (pause) Let’s pick it up a long time before birth there.

PC:

Can’t feel anything.

LRH:

Can’t feel anything. Early.

PC:

I can’t feel anything.

LRH:

Early. Now what are you contacting there very early on this? What do you contact? (gap in recording)

LRH:

Let’s contact something.

PC:

Okay.

LRH:

Now let’s go up to the time you’re 6 years old riding the bike.

PC:

Hm- hm.

LRH:

How do you feel there as you’re riding the bike?

PC:

I feel pretty tall.

LRH:

All right. PC On the back of the seat.

LRH:

Sounds fine. Let’s go up to the time when you just beat the daylights out of some kid.

PC:

Okay.

LRH:

All right. Let’s contact the moment you’re just beating the daylights out of someone.

PC:

Oh gee, he took my basketball away from me, by golly, I came right after him.

LRH:

Okay.

PC:

I jumped him and Ifell on the ground with him, I just pounded his face and banged his head against the ground.

LRH:

How does he sound while you’re pounding his head?

PC:

He was yelling, Stop it, stop it, I didn’t mean it.

LRH:

Okay. What are you doing to him there?

PC:

Pounding him. I’m crying loudly at this point. Pounding him in the face....

LRH:

All right. Let’s come up to the moment when you’re really pounding the daylights out of him. Now let’s come up to the moment where you feel like you really won on him. Did you really win in this fight?

PC:

Oh, I sure did.

LRH:

Now, how do you feel standing there after you had really won?

PC:

Wonderful.

LRH:

How does the kid look?

PC:

He looks bloody.

LRH:

Good. Okay. Take a good look at him. What does the boy say to you?

PC:

He runs away when I let him up. He didn’t say a thing.

LRH:

Oh, anybody else say anything to you?

PC:

Nobody else is around.

LRH:

Aha, you feel pretty cocky?

PC:

Uh- huh.

LRH:

Well, good.

PC:

Hm- hm.

LRH:

Come up to present time.

PC:

Yes.

LRH:

All the way. (pause) Give me a flash answer, how old are you?

PC:

43.

LRH:

Okay. All the way up. Canceled.

PC:

(pause; exhales) Hello.

LRH:

You been through anything?

PC:

I’ve been through a lot. (laughs) Just what it is I don’t know.

LRH:

Evidently the reactivation there has so many holders in it that it makes it difficult to key it out after there’s a key- in.

PC:

What we did in the above was. to run over what is probably the original incident on it. There may be earlier incidents in the bank, but we have got to clip this early and late. Now tell me this, just as a matter of record, when did your grandparents pass away?

PC:

My grandparents? Oh, my mother’s mother lived with us for two years when I was a very little kid and then she moved out to my aunt in California and lived there. She died when I was in my teens.

LRH:

Did you like her?

PC:

No, never really knew her. I didn’t see her except when I was a little kid about 2 or 3 years old.

LRH:

You saw her when you were a little kid?

PC:

Yeah.

LRH:

Didn’t know her?

PC:

No. She was the one who came in and said, "Nasty icky poo," when I’messed my pants, which was told me later. As a baby she was at our house at that time.

LRH:

You miss her?

PC:

No. My mother’s father I never knew, he died long before I was born. My father’s mother and father I can remember when we were little kids living in Topeka. I was about 9. They lived on a farm outside of town and once in a while on Sunday we had to go visit my grandparents and the kids all hated that. They were a couple of very old folks in their late eighties, and their house stank very badly. And it was dark and dingy. She died, then he came and lived with my uncle and his half- brother, and I used to go once in a while and see him then. And he was a nice old gentleman then, I remember. But he died I think at 92 when I was about 7 or 8 years old.

LRH:

That’s the great- grandfather.

PC:

No, grandfather.

LRH:

How many great- grandparents?

PC:

Never knew them. In fact his father was considered the black sheep of the family, for dying so young, at 92.

LRH:

Well, there is one of two things I can do here. We can either locate Grandma’s moving away, or we could just let this gestate for the moment until you have another run. I can promise you that because of that birth, the early part of your therapy is not going to be too comfortable. Because we’ve got to take those phrases and run them out earlier in the bank so that we can get this birth period there released. I’m just talking now by experience on the matter. Because it wasn’t releasing, it was tightening up, it was getting rougher. But you were coming out of your mama’s somatic and going into your own. That’s just my observation. I’m not even trying to force the evaluation on you that that was birth.

PC:

Okay. Dad was very quiet there; all his life has been, particularly in situations where there’s a little difficulty. He believes the best thing to do is just keep his mouth shut and he won’t get in trouble. He’s been following it all his life. He’s a very quiet guy and always has been. But my father and mother have been in a fight because my father wouldn’t. It used to infuriate my mother once in a while. She would try to get a fight going and when he saw she was annoyed he would say one or two nice placating little things and if they didn’t work he’d say, "Well, I think I’ll go out now, excuse me." And she would just fume. How can you have a fight with somebody who won’t answer back? And he wouldn’t. I remember when they were separated later and she would write him a letter, mad at him, and there was a fight going on by mail, he would put the letter unopened in a safe deposit box. And they’re still there, unopened. He kept them in case something important might come up later and he could refer to them, but he wouldn’t read them. They’re still there and some of the letters are 30 years old! And when he did read a letter where she had been very nasty, he would write back about the weather and cute little things like that.

LRH:

Well, then, we can expect any fulminations on the case to be your mama’s.

PC:

Yeah, there were plenty of those.

LRH:

Sure.

PC:

She was pretty vocal.

LRH:

Let’s see if we can’t take a little charge off this. Just so that you feel better, a little more comfortable.

PC:

Hold it, Ron, here’s the thing that throws me though, now I have got a pain in the stomach. What I’m wondering is, am I having my mother’s labor pains?

LRH:

That’s what’s known as valence.

PC:

A feature of my stomach ailment is that finally along about 2, 3 or 4 o’clock, after I have a bad night, I’m okay and then I always sleep very well late in the morning.

LRH:

What was the hour of the day you were born?

PC:

I don’t know. I seem to think of noon. That’s what comes back to me.

LRH:

How many hours labor?

PC:

I don’t know.

LRH:

It would be out of the birth engram. Those people get very vocal. "Oh, now- now, dear. Now just keep bearing down. Well, we’ll call him back now. Call him back. You just lie still and rest there. You’ll be comfortable now. Just be comfortable, dear. Do you suppose he can come? Better call him. Yeah, they’re right here now." This is the kind of talk one gets. "He should come now," and "He’d better hurry and get here," or something like that, which affects the person going along in present time who then gets called down to birth, which is a little bit confusing at times. Once he is in the birth engram he gets the somatic. Those are the mechanics. The only reason I’m talking about this is not to evaluate anybody’s case, but just as a demonstration.

PC:

Whenever I go through one of these attacks I say that if I could have a baby as a result of it to show for it, it would be all right.

LRH:

Let’s not dramatise the thing all the way now, all right? Now let’s see if we can find Grandma. We don’t have to find her but let’s see if we can. Okay?

PC:

Yeah.

LRH:

Close your eyes. Now let’s see if we can’t contact the moment there when Grandma is standing by the crib. See if we can contact it. See if we can contact it.

PC:

Hm- hm.

LRH:

Standing by the crib.

PC:

My shoulder’s tensing. Ipicture my crib on the sleeping porch right near the door reached from the back hall.

LRH:

Hm- hm.

PC:

And farther out there’s a great big sleeping porch with two or three double beds. My crib was in a narrow entrance section of the porch, because it’s right near the door into the house.

LRH:

Hm- hm.

PC:

And I don’t know what the crib’s made of. I’ve always pictured wooden cribs but now I see a brass one.

LRH:

Okay.

PC:

It’s a shiny brass crib.

LRH:

Is it very small?

PC:

No, it’s a good- sized.

LRH:

Okay. Are you outside it or in it?

PC:

I’m in it.

LRH:

Okay. How big does it look around you?

PC:

Quite long and high.

LRH:

Hm- hm.

PC:

And the door to the back hall is over to the left here. It’s a wooden door with a glass panel in the upper part of it, with white curtains on it.

LRH:

Hm- hm.

PC:

And there’s a metal floor on the porch.

LRH:

Hm- hm.

PC:

And a tin roof too. Sounds wonderful when it rains.

LRH:

Hm- hm.

PC:

I can see the whole thing. (pause)

LRH:

Okay. Let’s pick up the moment when Grandma comes in, if you can contact her there, if she is there.

PC:

Um. Well....

LRH:

See if you can contact the moment when Grandma shows up.

PC:

I see her as she looked a few years later.

LRH:

Let’s contact her. See if we can contact her while you’re in this crib, if she’s contactable, if she ever comes near this crib. The somatic strip can pick up a moment when she does, if it exists.

PC:

Well, I see a stiff black dress. I don’t ever see her in anything else but this black dress.

LRH:

Hm- hm. How did she look while she was in this black dress?

PC:

Well, I don’t know. It’s very hard to look at the dress right now with the pain in my stomach.

LRH:

Oh. Now what’s she saying? Contact the phrase there. Let’s just contact the phrase.

PC:

(exhales) I don ‘t know. (pause) What ‘s the matter with you? (pause; heavy breathing) What’s the matter with you? Why don’t you call? (pause)

LRH:

Contact it, Alan.

PC:

(mumble)

LRH:

What’s she saying now?

PC:

Never do it there.

LRH:

Go over that again.

PC:

Never do it there.

LRH:

Okay. Now what else has she got to say here?

PC:

(mutter)

LRH:

Go over the line Never do it there.

PC:

Never do it there.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

It hurts. Never do it there.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(sort of a groan) Never do it there. (sigh; pause)

LRH:

What’s her next line?

PC:

I don’t know.

LRH:

Never do it there.

PC:

Never do it there. Never do it there.

LRH:

How does she look when she says this? Let’s roll it.

PC:

Shakes her head.

LRH:

Okay. Let’s go over that again.

PC:

Shaking her head.

LRH:

What’s she saying?

PC:

What haueyou done now?

LRH:

Okay. Continue.

PC:

No. (sigh) Why don’t you call? One shouldn’t ever do it there.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(moan) It hurts.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(moan, sigh) Well, can’t you?

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(pause) Maybe thatch teach you.

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

It hurts. (moans)

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(moans)

LRH:

Continue.

PC:

(moan, mutters) . . . it hurts. Maybe thatch teach you. (moans, sigh)

LRH:

Whatb she do to you?

PC:

(mutter)

LRH:

Let’s go over when she’s doing something to make it well.

PC:

(sigh)

LRH:

Did she do anything to make it well?

PC:

Now I’ve got to clean this all up.

LRH:

Run over that again.

PC:

Now I’ve got to clean this up.

LRH:

Go over it again.

PC:

Now I’ve got to clean this up.

LRH:

Continue. What’s she do for you? Let’s go to the moment when she does something for you.

PC:

Nothing.

LRH:

Nothing for you?

PC:

No.

LRH:

Now let’s come up to the time when your stomach is well.

PC:

(sigh)

LRH:

Now what’s happening when your stomach’s all well?

PC:

(pause; mutter)

LRH:

Hm?

PC:

(breathing, mutter)

LRH:

Contact it. Do you have any pain?

PC:

(mutters words draggingly)

LRH:

Now let’s get up to the moment when she goes away and says good- bye to you.

PC:

(grunt)

LRH:

Contact the moment when she says good- bye.

PC:

(mutter)

LRH:

Can you contact it?

PC:

I don’t want her to kiss me in this way. I can’t picture Grandma. Let’s see. She’s trying to kiss me. But I didn’t want her to kiss me.

LRH:

Okay. (pause) All right. Let’s come up to a time when you’re beating up this kid on the basketball field.

PC:

Yes.

LRH:

All right. How do you feel there, how do your knuckles feel? Let’s pick up the somatics in your knuckles. There must be some in your hand as you’re watching him run away.

PC:

Yeah, they hurt but it doesn’t bother me.

LRH:

All right. Let’s feel these somatic Now what’s the triumph you feel there?

PC:

Oh, it’s the first time I ever got in a fight. I never got in a fight ever before.

LRH:

Okay.

PC:

I’ve bloodied his nose, he has blood all over his face.

LRH:

Any blood on your hands?

PC:

Yeah, a bit, when Igot my followthrough.

LRH:

Okay.

PC:

And on my clothes.

LRH:

Come up to present time.

PC:

Yeah.

LRH:

How old are you?

PC:

43.

LRH:

Canceled. Five- four- three- two- one (snap!). (PC exhales) So she wasn’t an ally was she? (chuckles)

PC:

She was an old bitch. (laughs) I didn’t realize that before. I was amazed.

LRH:

How are you feeling, Alan?

PC:

Very good.

LRH:

Okay.

At the very beginning of a case one tries to pick up the perceptics and locate the key incidents. Then one tries to find some painful emotion. In this case we have been very unsuccessful on the subject of painful emotion. There must be some somewhere. Ordinarily the grandparents can be looked to, particularly if the child’s mother or father has abused him.

So you get a diagnosis on the case on the following basis: The grandparents are not allies. Something is wrong here. The child loves his father and mother. And for some peculiar reason what they did to him was not particularly antagonistic.

If we had a number of AAs back down the line, or if mother and father have done a lot of punishment or have been very antagonistic, then the grandparents, even when they are pretty irritable, are the allies. If one can contact them leaving, or something like that, one gets a tremendous emotional discharge.

Today we have succeeded in establishing a closer contact with incidents, known technically as greasing the track.

In Alan’s case it will not be one of these knockdown- drag- out affairs, because we have got a very clean setup here.

An ally is terrible to have anywhere in the case. The ally is not created by somebody loving the child. Previous to Dianetics people have alleged that a feeling of sympathy with the child seemed to be somehow aberrative. This was a bad observation. If they had gone back and looked they would have found the child terrified of other people in the vicinity, maybe father or mother or both. Then, while the child was sick and in the perfect situation to receive an engram, this ally sympathised with him.

That actually takes the form of the ally, and the loss of such a person causes an upset.

LRH:

This particular case isn’t a good case of ulcers. It’s never shown up in an x- ray plate, has it?

PC:

Yeah, once.

LRH:

Once it did show up in an x- ray.

PC:

My mother had terrible ulcers. That’s what caused her death.

LRH:

All right. I don’t make any prognostications on the case. But there aren’t the enormous complications here that you find in even the average case. However, an aberration which has existed for a long time in the society is that one is supposed to be very neurotic, and that the person who is really going ahead is the person who is driven by these neuroses. This meant he would have had to have a bad background, and therefore that engrams were necessary to the formulation of a good brain. If one looks over your career, one would have a hard time trying to challenge the fact that you have been constructive and very brilliant.

PC:

My neurosis has got in the way of all that, repeatedly.

LRH:

Of course.

PC:

It’s doing it right now.

LRH:

Hm- hm. That’s right.

PC:

It’s wasting two days out of every week for me.

LRH:

When I discover a case where some gentleman who is enormously productive has had a very bad time of it, then immediately these facts can be seized upon, and someone says, "This man had an awfully rough time of it which drove him into being productive." That is not true. This is known as a valence question.

PC:

My analyst suggested, without using the word valence, that I was reputedly my mother.

LRH:

Sure. According to Dianetics that is exactly what one looks for. If one is in a person’s valence, and that person dies, it would be the same as part of oneself dying. But now we have to throw a valence over the fact that the person is dead and that is sort of what happens to the mind on the subject, but it lowers the amount of analytical power available. This is where the analogy comes from that painful emotion seems to pick up life units and activate the engram bank, because it is just as though at that moment the engram can come to life and part of the analytical mind appears to ease off the track. The object in getting off painful emotion is to get the analytical mind back into circulation again, and we get a situation whereby the analytical mind is now much more highly alert and the physical pain engrams are not so strong because that is where they get their power from.

PC:

Yes, but all you’re getting out of me is physical pain, not emotional pain.

LRH:

Okay. That’s all right. This way we can’take some basic power off the early bank. We can’take off some engrams. Painful emotion will come later in this case. There are evidently some physical pain engrams to be picked up here.

PC:

I could name half a dozen.

LRH:

Yes, they can be picked up and then the next time we go back to that death of your mother’s, it may spill right then. A funny thing about this that really mystifies me, but is what is very convincing to me too, is the theory behind the two types of mind. They are both operating to a certain extent. As I was going through this thing, I wasn’t being consciously aware of thinking of any of these things that came out, until after they came out. But then I suddenly remembered when I said during one of the incidents, "Is there anything I can do for you? " That was the way she said it when I was stand ing at the rear of the car, "Is there anything I can do for you?"

PC:

And you will probably find out that Papa’s commands will have more force. Because you were going through Mama’s action there but not getting any of Papa’s. Papa was the missing link there. Papa says something in there. A person has a tendency to cover up the closer ally. In this case we have got the parents properly as they should be, both of them allies. However, a person won’t give the dialogue of the closest ally but will handily give up the dialogue of the person who is not quite so close. We will have to have another session on that. We are not getting a very fast entrance on this case, because we are not into the basic area yet. Painful emotion has got to be discharged in the area of your mother’s death, and then we have got to get whatever the pain is in the basic area.

Session, 9 June 1950

Session, 16 June 1950